All comics by Bargaintuan

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by Bargaintuan
2-11-03
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-11-03
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!
I was the killer all along.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-11-03
What's wrong with me, doc?
We shrunk down a test pilot as part of an experiment, and he got accidentally injected into you!
Wow! I've got a tiny person inside of me?!?
Incredible! You sound just like my wife!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-11-03
So, this guy asks me, "Hey, have you seen the new Lord of the Rings movie?" And I tell him, "Of course! Do you think I live in a cave?"
Is this thing on?

 

by Bargaintuan
2-11-03
Hey, you're famous, aren't you?
I might be...
I got it! You're Brad Pitt!
Yep. You hit the nail on the head.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-11-03
Stick 'em up! Gimme all your cash!
Meow.
OK, we're going to a chinese restaurant! March!
Meow!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-11-03
I just invented a machine that can create unlimited amounts of antimatter from seawater!
Isn't antimatter extremely unstable?

 

by Bargaintuan
2-11-03
Commissioner Wilson has just received a disturbing report. He calls Chief O'Malley into his office...
That archcriminal, the Reaper, is on the loose in Capital City! This is a job for Powerman!
Nah... I think we can handle it.
Meanwhile, in the Power Lab, secret lair of Powerman...
Please ring! Please ring! Please ring! For the love of God, RING!!!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-11-03
Arr! I'm Blackbox, the software pirate! Hand over ye software or prepare to walk the plank!
This is my house. There's no plank anywhere around here.
Avast! That ironing board over thar! Ye can walk that, then!
Please leave.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-11-03
So, any idea what this comic's about?
Heck, I don't even know why I'm in it.
Really? Why do you say that?
I'm a red herring.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-11-03
Wow! I can't believe I got a job at Microsoft!
Hi. I'm Bill Gates.
Dropped all pretense, have we?
I got sick of the haircut.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-12-03
I have problems.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-13-03
Well, I'm all moved in to my new apartment, but I still need a place to hang my hat...

 

by Bargaintuan
2-13-03
I think I'm gonna hammer a nail into my head...
*CLICK*... *BLAM!* *BLAM!* *BLAM!*
*CLICK*

 

by Bargaintuan
2-13-03
Hmmm... I can't remember whether I've hammered a nail into my head today or not...
Hmmm... I can't remember whether I've hammered a nail into my head today or not...

 

by Bargaintuan
2-13-03
I'M GONNA GET THAT BARGAINTUAN!!!
He's made me hammer that damn nail into my head SO MANY TIMES!
He's going to pay for what he's done to me!
But, wait! This is one of his strips, and I've seen no sign of a hammer in four panels... Maybe he's turned over a new leaf!
THANK YOU, BARGAINTUAN!
DAMMIT!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-13-03
JE VAIS TUER BARGAINTUAN!
Il m'a forcé à frapper ma tête avec ce fichu ongle TANT DE FOIS!
Il va payer ce qu'il a fait à moi!
Mais, attente! C'est un de ses bandes, et je n'ai vu aucun signe d'un marteau dans quatre panneaux... Peut-être il a changé!
MERCI, BARGAINTUAN!
MERDE!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-13-03
STAPLE STAPLE, FIVE DOLLA!
ME ATTACH PAPER LONG TIME!
Yes.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-13-03
I refuse to take my brother to see any more Star Wars movies.
Why's that?
You know he spends a lot of time on the Internet?
Yeah...
Well, he keeps calling C-3PO "Keppo".

 

by Bargaintuan
2-13-03
The Yanks' manager says I can be coach as long as you're on the team!
What are the fellas' names?
Well, baseball players have strange names nowadays. Who's on first, What's on second, and I Don't Know's on third.
Cool.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-13-03
Happy Meteor Day!
Happy Meteor Day to you, too!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-13-03
I'm Peter Sellers, and I'm the President!
I'm Peter Sellers, too!
I am also zee Peter Sellers!
It is zee end of zee vorld! Vee must jump into a mine shaft und save our skins!
(Stock footage)

 

by Bargaintuan
2-13-03
Now that that's out of the way, on with the comic!
MY GOD!!! ALL THE CUTTING, STABBING, SLICING! IT WAS HORRIBLE!!!
INSIDES SCOOPED OUT, STREWN ALL OVER THE FLOOR! HOW WILL I LIVE WITH MYSELF?!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-14-03
Hey, did you catch that World Telepath Federation match last night?
Nah. I hate telepath wrestling.
Why?
All they do is stare at each other.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-14-03
QUICK! ANYBODY GOT A STAPLER?!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-14-03
I love you, Mommy!
1,000 years later...
Your mother is dead. We can bring her back, but only for one day.
I love you, Mommy!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-14-03
Why doesn't anyone love me?

 

by Bargaintuan
2-15-03
I am the Kingpin! I'm gonna beat the crap out of you, Daredevil!
OOF!
Hey! You're that blind lawyer guy!
Yep! You killed my father... TAKE THAT!
UGH!
I win.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-15-03
Hey! Have you seen Daredevil yet?
Nah. I've come up with my own disabled superhero.
Really?
Yeah. You know how Daredevil is "The Man Without Fear", well my superhero is AMPU-MAN, "THE MAN WITHOUT FEET"!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-15-03
Oh, yeah... That's good stuff.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-15-03
I AM NOT ONE OF THE COSBY KIDS!!!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-16-03
"And so it was that Jesus was called into His Father's Office." Unemployment 1:3
Father?
I've called you in here because the whole "dying for man's sins" thing has not worked out as well as I hoped.
In fact, there has been a 52% per capita increase in the number of unrepentent sinners, not to mention the Crusades, the Inquisition, and that whole thing about priests molesting children...
I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-16-03
"And thus the seat at the right hand of the Father was sold on eBay for $35." Unemployment 2:7
Lord!
Hi. I've just been canned.
Jesus Christ! That can't be true!
Don't worry, you've still got the Virgin Mary, the Apostles, all the Angels and Saints -- plenty of people to pray to.
Then, why are you here in church?
I'm cleaning out some of my stuff. This used to be my house, you know.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-16-03
"Jobless and penniless, He decended into Hell." Unemployment 3:16
Well, I've looked over your resume, and I must say, it's very impressive.
And?
I don't have any openings right now.
I don't need much. I'm also a fully qualified carpenter, you know.
Do you see any houses down here?

 

by Bargaintuan
2-16-03
"Above his head He placed the written plea for work: WILL SAVE FOR FOOD." Unemployment 4:12
How's the begging going, Jesus?
Pretty good, actually. People have been very generous. I think it's because of the wounds.
Really?!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-16-03
"And thus Jesus, Son of God, was given His job back on the third day." Unemployment 5:24
I'm back!
You got your job back, Lord? That's wonderful!
Yep, at double my old salary, too!
How did you manage that?
Turns out there was a clause in my contract about a "second coming"...
Ah!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-16-03
"And thus Jesus came to be back in the employment of God the Father, and it was good." Unemployment 6:16
It's great to be back.
Well, I didn't really have a choice. It was either hire you back as a regular employee now or as an independent contractor on Judgement Day...
...and we both know how expensive THAT would be.
Well, I'd better get back to work saving souls, then.
Oh, on the way out, send Mohammed in here. I need to have a few words with him...

 

by Bargaintuan
2-16-03
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.
Thank y'all for coming to this press conference.
Mr. President, is war with Iraq inevitable?
WE WILL GO TO IRAQ, GIVE SADDAM THE BACKS OF OUR HANDS AND LAY THE SMACKDOWN ON HIS SANDY ASS!
But shouldn't we wait until we have proof that Iraq does indeed have weapons of mass destruction?
CAN'T YOU SMELL WHAT IRAQ IS COOKING?!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-16-03
Who the hell are you?
I am CandyHott. I am hot and wet and hastily programmed! Wanna chat?
I don't think so. Wouldn't a wet robot short out or something?
Why else do you think I'm hot?
Runtime Error--

 

by Bargaintuan
2-17-03
So, what makes you think you would make a good sidekick for POWER-MAN?
Well, I can shoot this bow pretty good, and I've already got my own costume...
What's your name again?
I call myself THE RANGER.
Let's cut to the chase. Do you mind if people think we're a gay couple?
Well, as long as my anus isn't bleeding...

 

by Bargaintuan
2-18-03
I wish I could blow up something really BIG...
Hi, I'm Roger Ebert.
And I'm Richard Roeper. Our first movie today is--

 

by Bargaintuan
2-18-03
Why do people write comics on StripCreator that don't make any sense and think they're funny?
Nonsensical ramblings are never funny.
Explain Robin Williams, then.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-18-03
I found a magic lamp!
I just need to rub it, and maybe a genie will grant my every wish!
Well, here it goes! I'm rubbing the lamp...

 

by Bargaintuan
2-18-03
Ride me, cowboy!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-18-03
I say, old chap. Cracking good whether we're having, what?
Yeth, thewe'th not a cloud in the thky, and that bweeze ith wonderful!
Looks like we've got another of those areoplanes full of pesky mammals. You'd better get rid of them, Timothy.
All wight. I'll thcare them weal good.
RAWR! RARRRRR! I'M GOING TO EAT YOU!!!
Yeah, right. I heard the whole thing. Besides, you've got a mug of WARM MILK in your hands....

 

by Bargaintuan
2-18-03
I got it.
Got what?
The moral loophole. I buy drugs, I might be supporting terror. Might is the moral loophole.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-18-03
I am the Genie of the Lamp! For releasing me you get three wishes.
I only wish that were true.
D'oh!
I wish I hadn't said that.
D'oh!
I wish I could keep my damn mouth shut! ...

 

by Bargaintuan
2-18-03
I am the Genie of the lamp! For releasing me I will grant you three wishes.
I wish I were rich and popular, so rich and popular that I could do anything I want and get away with it!
Rich, popular, and could get away with anything... You've used your three wishes quickly! Alakazaam!
OH, MY GOD! I'M MICHAEL JACKSON!!!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-20-03
Magical Genie of the Lamp, I wish that the entire world would be at peace.
That's a tough one. As long as there are people with free will, there can never be peace.
Got it.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-20-03
I am the Genie of the Lamp! I have been imprisoned in this lamp for a thousand years. For releasing me, you get three wishes, but first...
Ah, that's better! Now, what's your first wish?
I wish my anus wasn't bleeding.

Showing page 2.

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