All comics by FactoryRejects

Profile

 

by FactoryRejects
3-22-08
That should answer any questions you might have, but it's really a lot like your last church.
We got candles, songs, holidays... there's no Hell, though
There's just my sermons

 

by FactoryRejects
3-22-08
I can't believe zombies have me trapped in here with this black lady
...I guess I shouldn't think of her like that. I mean some of those zombies were black but I didn't think of them as "black zombies"...
...what does that say about me as a person

 

by FactoryRejects
3-26-08
ACCESSING LIFEFORM SCAN - LIFE FORM: SPACE CHICKEN - INTELLIGENCE - EARTH LEVEL (LOW) LIFE SPAN: INDEFINITE
So it looks like we're gonna be stuck here a while, but it's okay, we can take turns telling stories.
ACCESSING LITERARY DATABASE - KEYWORD: STORIES BOOLEAN/AND CHICKEN, SPACE, IDIOT
I don't know many stories really but I know like EVERY episode of Seinfeld by heart. I got all the seasons on DVD back home. I guess I'll start with my favorite one.
OVERRIDING ADMIN-ONLY ACCESS....... DONE.... LOCATING SYSTEM CORE FILES.... DONE... DELETING........ ***WARNING!!! SYSTEM SHUTDOWN IN 5 []
....so everyone wants this soup, right

 

by FactoryRejects
3-27-08
I've already explained that I'm obligated to salt the sidewalks in front of the apartments.
I've already pointed out that the Pine Apartments Charter doesn't specify what time of year I should salt them
The fact that I salt them in the summer is my business and the fact the you still have a problem with it just shows how slowGET OUT OF MY FLAT, SNAIL

 

by FactoryRejects
4-01-08
It's april
and you're all fools

 

by FactoryRejects
4-04-08
I didn't know reindeer could do that
oh yes

 

by FactoryRejects
4-04-08
why aren't we on Earth anymore
we were on earth before I went to sleep
I'M GETTING A LITTLE SICK OF THIS

 

by FactoryRejects
4-04-08
Nilnar Reederspat reporting, Master Tol. I'm afraid the-
I'm already well aware of your failure, Nilnar
It's plastered all over your myspace page

 

by FactoryRejects
4-06-08
So which one of you nasty sluts has what it takes to win vh1's LIZARD OF LOVE

 

by FactoryRejects
4-08-08
EEEEOOOOOEEEEOOOOEEEEOOOEEE
I know my mom said to only take a little of the cough syrup but I took the whole bottle and now I'm already all better!
meeblr
OOOEEEEOOOEEEEOOOOEEEOOOEEE
I feel good enough to join you on your quest to rescue the magic princess, mister squirrel!
subzerbubz
EEOOOEEEEOOOOOEEEEOOOOEEEOO
...and then we'll know where the secret candy is hidden!

 

by FactoryRejects
4-11-08
.......
bidet service
oh come on

 

by FactoryRejects
4-13-08
FLAGS FOR FURNACES
The "oil crisis" finds your beloved author without heat again!
FLAGS FOR FURNACES
I propose each of you send me an american flag. If I receive enough flags, I believe it will send a strong message to our nation's leaders.
FLAGS FOR FURNACES
I promise you that I will not burn these flags!

 

by FactoryRejects
4-17-08
Oh! Hello. You must be expecting a comic. This isn't one. I just have a drawing of a blue fish under my window.
I understand that the two-dimensional aspect of this format may have made that a little hard to tell.
Sorry for any confusion.

 

by FactoryRejects
4-19-08
Yeah, that's right.
I made a robot cry.
I'm the devil, dammit!

 

by FactoryRejects
4-20-08
how was I supposed to know there were peanuts in peanut butter
there's no BUTTER in peanut butter

 

by FactoryRejects
4-25-08
I'm never drinking that much again.

 

by FactoryRejects
4-26-08
a meteor
cause and effect
a darkened atmosphere
an effective cause
extinction
calvin klein

 

by FactoryRejects
4-28-08
Let the children use it
Let the children lose it
yes sir
Let all the children boogie

 

by FactoryRejects
4-28-08
I'm not a bad man
now give me your money

 

by FactoryRejects
4-28-08
BEHOLD THE AFTERLIFE - WHERE YOU MAY ETERNALLY BASK IN THE GLORY OF THY CREATOR
I'm bored

 

by FactoryRejects
5-04-08
Let me tell you something about the war of 1812
My grandaddy died in that war
twice

 

by FactoryRejects
5-04-08
The killer had to have left some clues behind...
Obviously, there's the writing on the wall - in the victim's blood.
Another thing that caught my eye was the fresh tire tracks out front.
This is a clear cup.

 

by FactoryRejects
5-04-08
alright now listen here you smug son of a bitch
this is a call for all shits on the rug and a slew of chewed-up sneakers
you keep Stilwell here long enough for me to get her out of that catsuit and I'll give you a bone collection that would make a museum weep

 

by FactoryRejects
5-09-08
♫♫ Me and Wii, me and Wii. We're just plain out of the ordinary - i gotta move, but it's stationary. ♫♫
♫♫We both know life's a beach, and nothing is out of our reach. We're gonna be big someday you'll see - yes you and Me and Wii♫♫
...Last week on ME AND WII...
Man I am gonna play so much fucking Wii

 

by FactoryRejects
5-13-08
okay i did a google search for time travel, and you were right, going forward isn't really making any kind of difference. you need to play an awesome cover of johnny b goode to get us out of this mess
well it was more of a youtube search for time travel but at any rate you'd better have a guitar in there because i used up all the netzero

 

by FactoryRejects
5-13-08
I'm down here lookin' for the GREAT WHITE
...............
go to bed, dude

 

by FactoryRejects
5-20-08
There's a door here, but it's blocked by an unseen force.
uh huh
Why don't you unseen force it open with that shotgun

 

by FactoryRejects
5-23-08
no I don't want to sign a petition to keep robots out of the community
if this is your idea of intimidation it's piss poor
I CAN LIFT YOUR ENTIRE HOUSE

 

by FactoryRejects
5-26-08
Looks like I get the cat again this time, Steven!
aahah hahah hahahahaaaaaaaaa!

 

by FactoryRejects
5-28-08
It was on this planet that most of our research team mysteriously killed each other.
We lost transmission with our base here long before the fighting broke out. Some sort of mass psychosis is a prime suspect.
Keep your wits about you, ensign. Anything could happen out here.

 

by FactoryRejects
6-03-08
You're far too late, Slayne. The countdown has already begun. In a matter of mere minutes your precious planet Earth will-
...............
Do you have a hearing problem or something? Take a few steps back for gods sake. I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of Old Spice.

 

by FactoryRejects
6-08-08
so...
...is it true?
Nope, just a bunch of hollywood bullshit.
huh.

 

by FactoryRejects
6-09-08
SHIT, Terry! I mean... shit shit shit!
I know! What freakin game are we gonna blame this one on? Seriously, we're almost out!
...........
...........
Nintendogs!
Nintendogs!

 

by FactoryRejects
6-10-08
I thought you would be such a great pet
And that I'd look way cooler than all those other guys ridin horses
But now you're eatin me outta house and home!

 

by FactoryRejects
6-11-08
Thank god, we finally made it out of that time tunnel!
Where are we, anyway?
I have never in my life listened to Gwen Stefani, you shut up

 

by FactoryRejects
6-14-08
I think the labels are b- ....what the hell? I thought I told you not to come back here!
Yeah you'd better run
...hooligan

 

by FactoryRejects
6-15-08
Everybody poops
except you
you freak

 

by FactoryRejects
6-16-08
Andor! ...What in the hell are you, anyway?
.......
Your appearance constantly sickens me; is there a place where this is acceptable?
I am from a world-
I'm from a world too, Andor. And this is a much better story because it is something that I know for me to talk about.

 

by FactoryRejects
6-19-08
Hey Terry, my dad forgot to pack my lunch, you got anything you don't want?
Sorry man, all I got is a bag of Combos
oh gross, that sucks man
I know
I feel like the grownups are giving me dog food when I get these things

 

by FactoryRejects
6-23-08
LZ_VCS.MPG --- 57.8%
Well hey there, reader. You caught me in the middle of satiating my pornography addiction!
LZ_VCS.MPG --- 73.5%
After this video downloads I was thinking about maybe giving in to my food and water addictions.
LZ_VCS.MPG --- 100%
Oh, and before I forget... fuck you, society

 

by FactoryRejects
6-26-08
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
AGH what the hell is that noise, man
sorry Timmy, my mom put one of those lame alarms on the medicine cabinet
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
that SUCKS, how do you turn it off
I don't know
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I usually just take a bunch of the pills I find until I don't notice it anymore

 

by FactoryRejects
6-27-08
But I don't feel like dancin, when the old Joanna plays. My heart could take a chance, but my two feet can't find a way. You think that I could muster up a little soft shoe devil sway...
But I don't feel like dancin, no sir!
no dancin today

 

by FactoryRejects
7-04-08
Oh beautiful, for chemtrailed skies; barium makes it rain
Our medicare's a travesty
Just pop some pills for pain

 

by FactoryRejects
7-07-08
Hey Dad, where's George Carlin? I want to ask him something.
Well...
Don't tell me you didn't let him in!
Oh, I let him in. Look, it's time I told you... Heaven has a VIP section, and I don't want you tooling around in there, embarrassing me.
Anyway, I'll be in the VIP till past midnight. I put some Hot Pockets in the freezer; text the cell if you need something.

 

by FactoryRejects
7-12-08
Mike? Is that you? Wow, I haven't seen you since high school!
Oh, hey Jen! Wow, you really lost weight; how'd you do it?
Oh, I had a gastric bypass type of thing. You know, the Lapband system.
I heard about those. Surgeons place a foreign object inside your body that applies pressure to an internal organ; causing loss of appetite.
Science is about a year and a half away from being able to trap god in a bottle, isn't it

 

by FactoryRejects
7-15-08
Every day the sexy penguin whips me
Dude, why are you staring at me like that
Well, she's not really a penguin. She's not even a she. It's my friend, Ted. And he never whips me, we just talk about what's on television.
Seriously, knock it off. What the... are you getting a boner? What the hell?!
My imagination keeps me sane

 

by FactoryRejects
7-17-08
Excellent! My R.I.D. ray has disabled Earth's moronic and blog-soddened "internet"!
Andor! Begin preparing the warp drive! I want to leave this wretched place immediately.
Andor... why are you staring at me like that?

 

by FactoryRejects
7-17-08
Damn you, Slayne! Why do you care so much about Earth's "internet"?
Why can't you just mind your own business and leave me to my evil devices?
Why do you have to be so insufferably caucasian?

 

by FactoryRejects
7-17-08
"...FURTHERMORE... I cannot stress enough..."
Ned get out of that bucket the NetZero's back THE NETZERO IS BACK I think I hacked it
MILF_BJ_22.MPG --- 100%
tits

 

by FactoryRejects
7-23-08
♫ Slayne you are too late, I have sealed Earth's fate; soon your precious planet will be turned to goo. A laser beam, six billion screams and all my evil dreams will finally come true♫
♫♫ And no one can stop me, not even you-oo-oo ♫♫
........................it's your turn now; you're supposed to sing, jackass

Showing page 2.

« Previous Next »