All comics by Project_Spam

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by Project_Spam
11-09-03
Moo!
MWAHAHAHAHA! What luck! To find a cow, right here! My little bovine friend, I shall slaughter you and eat your innards for breakfast. And there's no one who can stop me from doing such an evil-
(sobbing) NO!!! DIE A GRUESOME DEATH, YOU SINISTER FIEND!!
Moo!
Yay! I saved a cow! You can thank me later, dude!

 

by Project_Spam
11-14-03
Hey, you wanna hear a joke?
Sure!
What do you get when you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac?
What?
Somebody who lays awake all night wondering if there's a dog!!! Hahahahaha!!!!

 

by Project_Spam
11-25-03
Donnie had just returned from a busy day at work...
(Sniff, sniff)
What's that awful stench?
Oh... my... land... HEAVENS, NO!
SMELL DA PITS!!! MWAHAHAHA!!

 

by Project_Spam
12-09-03
GO, MY PAWNS! WORK, WORK, WORK!
Ergh...
Agh..
WE'RE BEHIND SCHEDULE! C'MON, HURRY!
I can't stand much more of this...
These working conditions are horrible...
Mwahahaha! It's fun when no one is certain about your existance and your wrongdoings! Mwee hee hee! DON'T SLACK OFF, YA INDOLENT BLOKES!

 

by Project_Spam
12-29-03
His first meeting...
Hi, I'm Bob, and I have a problem.
Hi.
Five years later...
Hi, I'm Bob, and I have a problem.
Hi.
Another five years later...
Where's Bob???!?

 

by Project_Spam
12-29-03
Greetings, reader. Though it may seem that I am a harmless creature, I will rule your pathetic planet by first taking control of the hapless, mindless freaks over here at Stripcreator.
Failure to comply with my commands will result in instant death. Heck, that may happen anyway if you start getting on my nerves!
Wait, what did you say? "How?"
Don't question me unless you wish to die, earthling.

 

by Project_Spam
12-30-03
Hi! I hope you're having a merry Christmas today...
Cluck! I got my presents a few days ago, you idiot!
... I think I'm just a tad behind.

 

by Project_Spam
12-30-03
Ahh! He's making another comic!
Think quickly! We must say something funny!
Oh no, it's the second panel and we still haven't done anything yet!
Oh no, I can't think of anything funny under pressure!
Oh sure, like you can think of something funny under any circumstances.
Oh, shut up! You're no better.

 

by Project_Spam
12-30-03
Yuk yuk! Hi!
Yuk yuk yuk!
Hee hee! I like that phrase! Yuk yuk!
What, may I ask, are you doing?

 

by Project_Spam
1-21-04
Well, I think I'll call it quits for tonight. (Yawn) I better get to bed.
AHHH! THE POWER'S FAILED!!
Stupid, worthless, power surge protector!

 

by Project_Spam
1-22-04
Errg... these types of things are never good... What should I do??!
(Sniff, sniff) Is something burning? I smell something burning... Do you see anything burning? Do you smell it?
Um, uh, um, no! No, I don't! Now um, I think you should leave! See ya later, sis! Get outta here, please!
Now, to deal with the fire! I must get some water!

 

by Project_Spam
1-22-04
I swear, there's gotta be something burning!
AHHH! YOU'RE IN MY WAY! We're both gonna die if you don't move outta my way this instant! AGHH!
Why? Is something burni.... OH MY HEAVENS! YOUR COMPUTER MUST BE FRIED!
AGHHH! I'M GETTING SCALDED!!!
... And so, the two idiots (along with the house) met their untimely demise. Seriously, he could have jumped out the window...

 

by Project_Spam
3-05-04
Hi, we're Asian girls!
Yeah! What she said! Oh, I'm so cool!
Unh! Kick! Yes...
Ohhh, I can see her PANTEEZ!!!11 ROFLMAO.
I am a miserable existance... suicide must be the only answer...
I must be dead now...

 

by Project_Spam
3-06-04
Yo sup G, wanna play some basketball with one o' da best, homefry?
Yo shut up, dawg. White boyz can't hang with us in a tight game of baskizzitball.
Yeah, well that's true, but...
... They can't jump, either.
Um, well .. yeah.. but that's kind of a known fact...
So why da f*** you askin' me to play you in a game of baskizzitball??

 

by Project_Spam
3-21-04
Holy crap! It's a scary alien! AAGGHH!
Take me to your leader.
Why? What do you aliens want from us humans?
You know what we want...
If it has anything to do with returning Michael Jackson to your planet, he's all yours.
Excellent! I'm so happy I could moonwalk!

 

by Project_Spam
3-22-04
Holy crap! It's a scary alien! AAGGHH!
Take me to your leader.
Why? What do you aliens want from us humans?
You know what we want...
A cookie?
No, no, no! A doughnut, you imbecile!!!

 

by Project_Spam
3-22-04
Holy crap! It's a scary alien! AAGGHH!
Take me to your leader.
Why? What do you aliens want from us humans?
You know what we want...
AIDS? I'm willing to share.

 

by Project_Spam
3-25-04
MikeyG, singing one of his favorite songs in his bedroom.
o/' I'M A BARBIE GIRL, IN A BARBIE WOOOORLD! LIFE IN PLASTIC, IT'S SO FANTASTIC!! YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR, UNDRESS ME EVERYWHERE...o/' Oh, this is turning me on.. better sing a different song...
o/' Like a virgin... (which is what I am)... touch for the very first time! o/' Ooh, yeah, I'm getting turned on again.. Oh wheelchair.. ooh... Oh - Hi dad! How long have you been here?
Hmph, I knew you were an accident from the very moment you were conceived. Morons like you should be removed from the gene pool entirely.
Dad! *sobs* Why can't my own family accept me???! Waaah!
Argh!! For Pete's sake, MikeyG, you are a lamentably naive subhuman and a fiendish, congenitally clueless, tasteless amalgam of dross, drivel and malarkey!!! How else can I get this across to you??

 

by Project_Spam
3-25-04
Frogs are green, like a tree
Ha ha you look like a rock!!!
A bird? Where!?
Canada is big, like a tree!
I eat cheese like a madman!!
Two dollars are my winnings!
White like a polar bear!
Hi! I'm a mailman... marry me! Let us engage in nuptialls!
Only if I turn into a bug will I eat a pest like you thing..

 

by Project_Spam
4-26-04
Oh, come on. I thought this was no rush 20. Stupid cheater, you...
ERGH!! I HATE YOU, YOU MORONIC CHEATER!!! I HOPE BOTH YOU AND YOUR CLAN LOSE IN EVERY GAME YOU PLAY UNTIL THE END OF TIME!
Okay... Um.. What? Sure, I'll join clan (T|eQ}o. Hmm.. gotta get a good name...
Okay, sure! I'll join your dodgeball clan! Mwahaha, I'm gonna pwn some stupid noobs! Hahaha...
So... how are things going in Starcraft?
Shut up, shut up, SHUT THE HECK UP!! I'm beating this cocky noob - YOU SCREWED ME UP!! YOU MORON!!!!! NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!! I HATE YOU!! AGGHHH! I HATE HUMANS!! I HATE YOU ALL!!!

 

by Project_Spam
4-27-04
This, my friend, is a paper clip. As we did with the previous ones, we are going to watch it fall - it will fall with grace, with BEAUTY, into the bucket!
And this, my friends, is another paper clip, hee hee hee! Into the bucket it goes! And what's this? Wow! Number 416 of 645,723,817! Viewers, stay tuned! You don't want to miss a single moment!!!
AGHHH!
That's the last straw! OW! OW!

 

by Project_Spam
4-27-04
You say the word is catoptromancy? Umm.. can I have a definition?
Um... catoptromancy. C-A-T-O-P .... ummm... can I have the word origin? Okay, thanks...
Please give the spelling of the word. You have already wasted 37 minutes. We have already clarified everything for you, so if you don't comply we're going to have to expell you from the competition.
Ummm... okay... Catoptomancy. C-A-T-O-P-T-R... um... I'm not clear on its pronunciation and definition. Ummm.. (pauses 5 minutes) May I please start the word over?
That's the last straw! OW! OW!

 

by Project_Spam
4-27-04
Darn! Temporary blindness again! And just when I needed to take a humongous leak!
Whew! Thought I'd never find the bathroom! Oh...oh, yeah...that's better...ahhhhh....
ENCORE! ENCORE!
AGHHH!! I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!

 

by Project_Spam
5-20-04
Uh oh, plane's going down. Luckily, I have this parachute. Think I'll step out.
Oh no, it didn't open. I'm doomed! Wait, what's that below me? I'm saved!
Oh, silly me! That's the ground. Darn. I think I'm still screwed.

 

by Project_Spam
6-12-04
His name is Quality.
AHHH!

 

by Project_Spam
6-20-04
DING-DONG
Must be a trick-or-treater...
Hi, my name's Stripmaker and I'm exceptionally homosexual. Give me "candy," no?
NO, NOT YOU!!! DIE!!!
The next day, at Stripcreator.com...
.. So then, I killed him.
Thank God! I was contemplating making a "Retards Only" Comic Competition forum, with Stripmaker as one of the few users who'd have entry.

 

by Project_Spam
7-01-04
I think I'm going the wrong way... maybe I should turn around...
Boo!
Eh?
I'm a terrifying monster...
Sorry, buddy, but you're not a monster - you're a ghost.

 

by Project_Spam
7-27-04
Hey kids, drugs are cool. Don't listen to those pesky DARE people or you'll be sorry.
I don't believe you.
Wow.. these drugs are making you look.. rather fine!
Want me to.. give it to you?
And that's how I got pregnant with you.

 

by Project_Spam
7-30-04
I've finally arrived in Bowser's castle. I should forget stupid Princess Peach right now, the incapable damsel she is! Why should I always rescue her?
AGH! It's a ghost!!!
I'd hop on you and defeat you, but I'm too fat and too tired to continue... Ugh, all those jumps...
Wanna get Luigi? At least he's mobile, unlike you.

 

by Project_Spam
8-05-04
You little runt, you! I give you my prized bicycle for one day and you go out and ruin it! Out of this house! Out of this house now and never return to daddy!
NO! But dad, seriously! I didn't do it on purpose! You don't mean that!
Hi there. I'm the renowned plastic surgeon, Dr. Shuvitupyourarse. Do you need some "help"?
Hmm... maybe Dad will finally accept me if I change my ways... I think I can make up for his loss.
Accept you? Hell, come to papa "son"! I knew that I'd forget my prized bike when you came back AS the family bicycle! You've made me proud!
Well, pops, I haven't even done anything to you yet!

 

by Project_Spam
8-10-04
Wow! What happened to you?
Well, I got in a little car accident with my new Camry... but the car seems okay.
Hell, it's a Toyota still, eh?
Yeah, but you shut up! This is none of your business!
Jeez, what's up your butt?
Hot tuba. Put it up a butt, oh.

 

by Project_Spam
8-16-04
I bet I can have more bowel movements than you!
I bet you can too!
So, where's the toilet!
Let us use our athletic abilities to find one!
Ladies and gentleman, it is to my chagrin that we have a new, and very strange sport coming to us in the 2008 Olympics...
Yes indeed... but what I can't wait for are the trials for this specific event!

 

by Project_Spam
8-22-04
Good job, Petey! Let's see you.. NO! DON'T GET TOO CLOSE THAT MAGICAL RAINBOW POLE OF DOOM AND HAPPINESS!
Oh, (sniff)... that seems like it was just yesterday... but it was actually 37 years ago! (sniff) I'M SORRY MOM, for not telling you sooner!
It's okay, dear. When you're high, strange things happen...
You mean it, Mom? You forgive me?
Yes, but you could have told me that the dog you fatally molested was actually your little brother, instead of lying to me all those years! But about that magical rainbow pole...

 

by Project_Spam
9-30-04
Human, I am going to shoot you.
Gah! Stupid gun...
Damn, your technology sucks.

 

by Project_Spam
11-06-04
I M GOIN 2 RAPP U!!!111
Oh no!
Tune in next week when...
Wait... with aluminum foil?

 

by Project_Spam
12-17-04
AHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

by Project_Spam
12-20-04
Ooh, here comes a hottie! Hey babe, wanna go out with me sometime?
Yes!
What the fuck...
No, I asked you if you wanted to go out with me.

 

by Project_Spam
1-13-05
I must escape this butcher shop before they get me!
Now, now, now, little chicken, what do you think you're doing? No fear; when we kill you, we'll make sure it's quick and painless, yet with techniques which will retain excellent taste for consumers.
...
NOW COME ON OVER TO THE EXECUTION ROOM, AND LET ME GIVE YOU A PEACEFUL, ENJOYABLE DEATH! THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!!! MWAHAHA MWEE HEE HEE!!!!
I just love PETA representatives.

 

by Project_Spam
5-09-05
o/` 99 bottles of beer on the wall; 99 bottles of beer... o/`
... Wait... wh- what? ... That's not a correct count. 1... 2... 3...
o/` 38 bottles of beer on the wall; 38 bottles of beer... o/`

 

by Project_Spam
5-09-05
We have a puzzle here, Inspector Lonnrot.
Indeed. Indeed! What do you think happened here?
I'm fairly certain -
And that's where you're wrong.
You didn't let me finish. What I was about to say was I'm fairly certain that-
Who's the inspector around here, motherfucker?

 

by Project_Spam
6-09-05
Sucky sucky fi' dollah?
I'll be showin' ya my big SCHLONG and what have ya.

 

by Project_Spam
9-04-05
The body of Christ.
Amen.
The body of Christ.
Amen.
Hotdiggity, you actually are the body of Christ!
Represent, bro.

 

by Project_Spam
1-08-06
Yo man, ya see my new 'burns?
No man, you alright? You hurt or anything?
No, check my face, man.
Have you been cutting yourself?
What?

 

by Project_Spam
5-04-06
So I have this fish named Randy, right...
I LIKES ME SOME FRIED ICTHYOIDS!
Forget it.

 

by Project_Spam
8-31-08
I just realized I've never had anything funny to say.

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