All comics by RizzleMcIzzle

Profile

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-19-05
I'm Dee!
I'm Emmett!
I'm just standing around and being awesome like I so often (always!) am.
I'm rocking out, yo! 'Cuz I'm like that! ****Bitchin' Guitar Solo****
I have pink hair and cat ears for some reason.
I'm wearing a gay shirt for some reason as well and my guitar is missing essential parts such as strings.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-19-05
This is the comic that I made for an away message on AIM. It has a nifty little link that leads you right to this!
Oh really? That's kinda cool.
Don't talk to me!
Why not?
Because I'm away.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-19-05
Rizzle talks to a lady friend on the computer...
Oh Wow! Do you really think I'm great?!
Yeah. I think you're just a great, prominent, transcendent, eminent, and distinguished girl.
That's so awesome! I really like you.
I like you too. In fact, I admire you, and regard you, and appreciate you, and respect you, ad relish you, and enjoy you, and...
Are you using a thesaurus?
Damn! My one chance with a girl, ruined!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-20-05
Hanging out in a cemetery like they always do, Ryan and Dee have a talk.
And then she says, "Are you using a thesaurus?" Aww man, it was the worst.
I'm sorry, Ry. But you know, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You're a good, kind, benevolent considerate friendly guy. And you're very...
Hey, YOU'RE using a thesaurus aren't you?!
No, I'm Dee. I know everything, and I make you feel better whenever you're going through your miserable teenage angst moments.
Oh yeah. Thanks.
Anytime.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-20-05
"If you own a motor home and a boat with no motor, you might be a redneck."
"If you drink lots of beers and hate lots of queer, you might be a redneck."
"If your ancestors owned slaves and you want to as well, you might be a redneck."

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-20-05
Shit!
Birds!
Ass!
Terrorist!
I'm Ellen DeGeneres, and I'm a lesbian.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-20-05
Every White Family Sitcom
Dad, I did something bad.
I'm very disappointed in you honey. But the important thing is that you learned your lesson and I love you.
Every Show on the WB
Baby, you trippin'!
I believe you be the one that is trippin'!
Every Girl from China
I was adopted by an American family!
Me too, because our stupid communist country doesn't value life!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-20-05
Freddie goes to a Pro-Life Convention...
Hi there! Would you like to make a donation. You'll get one of these roses if you do!
I don't want a rose, baby. I want you.
I'm sorry, but I'm not that kinda girl. I'm saving myself for my one true love.
C'mon, it'll be quick and safe. Besides, you could always get an abortion...
*sob
What?

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-20-05
It's snowing!
I see it.
Did you hear it's snowing?
Yeah, I see it!
I have a carrot for a nose.
Please melt soon you stupid asshole.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-21-05
It's melting!
*sigh...
See?! The snow's melting!
...
Wow, that was fast!
Ryan, you don't need to make a friggin' comic everytime the weather changes.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-21-05
Ok, so let's say Rizzle didn't screw up with that girl. Let's see what happens on their date..
All I'm saying is that Eskimo kisses are underrated. I mean, you can't get STDs from doing it...
You certainly can't get the Mumps, AKA the 'kissing disease' from it. The Eskimos knew what they were talking about, Debbie... Debbie?
I think we should see other people.
Aw, you're just like the Eskimos! You have so many ways of telling me "no"!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-21-05
I'm sorry I killed your wife with my truck!
Dude, it's totally ok.
You're gellin aren't you'?
Like a hobo's smellin'.
Hey, Ryan McClellan. Are you gellin'?
Hey, no.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-22-05
Hey bull. Look, it's one of you, hahaha.
You stupid asshole...
You know what would go great with this? Some milk! Hahaha!
I'm gonna kill you...
So you killed him, and now you want us to shit on his grave.
Yes, honey. We never do anything together anymore.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-22-05
This comic is really shitty... you've been warned.
To what?
War in Iraq.
OK, thanks.
What did I tell you?!
No.
Aw c'mon. Have sex with me... I'm Warren Iraq! ... ... ... ... ... ... .. .. ... ... ... .. .. .... .... ... ... .. ... .. .. ... ... ... ... .. .... ... ... .. .... Ta-Da!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-22-05
So you were just heading to a bachelorette party?
No, a bachelor party. I also do bar mitzvahs.
Don' you mean bachelor? And don't you mean bat mitzvahs?
No, bachelor and bar.
Haha, queer.
I'm not the one pulling over male strippers and frisking them, Officer FagFace.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-22-05
Haha! Use technology, dickweed!
Haha! You shouldn't have watched your parents die in front of you when you were a kid, dickweed.
NO! I can change! I can change!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-22-05
Oh, hey guys. Ryan's not here right now...
YOU HAVE TO GET ME THE HELL OUTTA HERE! THAT BASTARD'S FORCING ME TO MAKE COMICS! HELP!
ChimChim... what's going on, buddy? From the other room it sounded like there's a bad monkey in here who needs a banana enema.
Aww, can I put it in myself this time? You enjoy it to much.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-22-05
Gay voices indicated by #'s.
#Who wears short shorts?!#
#You wear short shorts, silly.#
#I wear short shorts?! No, You wear short shorts!#
#Oh shut up! You soooo wear short shorts!#
Uh, should I put some pants on now?
Could you? Thanks...

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-22-05
Hey, you're watching MTV. Next up we have a couple crappy music videos and then a bunch of shows that have a little bit of music in them so they just meet our demands!
You're watching Comedy Central. Next up, we have 6 hours of MAD TV and 6 more hours of our new hit show, Distraction.
Don't go away though, becuase you guessed it: We're showing Dogma and Beverly Hills Cop again!!!!
This is the history channel. Next up, we have have a show about Hitler, followed by a show about D-Day, followed by a show about Hitler's dog on D-Day.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-22-05
Honey, what the fuck!?
Fred, is everything all right?!
No, everything isn't all right!
Please, calm down and tell me what's wrong.
Who's this Tom Green guy and what is he doing sucking your tits?!
Fred, that was years ago. No one likes that guy anymore, honest!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-23-05
... An example of rotation is the Earth spinning around it's axis.
Uh, excuse me...
What?
"Its"... you meant "its", not "it's".
Who the hell are you to read the words that come out of my mouth?! Some kinda magician?! Sit down, bastard.
Stupid cunt...

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-23-05
So then I said, "Fire hydrant?! That's my grandpa!"
Haha, you funny Ryan. See ya later, man...
Um, excuse me...
Hi, I represent Mark. I'm here on his behalf to tell you that you're being sued for the use of his punchline.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-23-05
What bands do I like? I dunno, I've been listening to some Maiden lately.
Haha, Iron Maiden sucks.
You're a dumb dick.
Dude, I'm just saying. I mean, people can have opinions can't they?
Yeah, that's what I mean. It's my opinion that you're a dumb stupid ass dickface who probably likes the B-fucking-52's...

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-23-05
Back in the graveyard... robbing graves.
So Ry, just tell me: What girls do you like?
Well...
C'mon you can tell me.
I like Trixie from Speed Racer...
Isn't she a cartoon character?
Yeah, but so am I! ... in these comics...

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-23-05
So you really like her?
Hell yeah! But she never notices me...
Then you have to start being cool around her.
It didn't work! You saw me the other day, wearing the leather jacket, standing there, looking cool, smoking a cigarette...
Ryan, you don't smoke. You don't even like smoking. You just leaned against the wall with your arms crossed and a french fry in your mouth.
You know Dee, the way you talk to me and the way we hang out in this graveyard... it's a wonder you haven't turned me into a necrophiliac.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-24-05
Ryan describes a girl he likes to Dee...
She sounds nice. So then what did you do?
I asked her to the junior prom...
Really? What did she say?
She said... oh shit...
Oh shit? What?
I think I made her up! Gosh damnit!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-24-05
From the Creators of 'Stars Without Makeup' comes a new FOX special...
Kathy Griffin...
It appears I've been sealed up in this cave...
Simon Cowell...
Was I just jettisoned into space?
And Louie Anderson in.... Stars Without Oxygen!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-24-05
I think you're a great girl and all, but do you have to smoke so much pot?
Whatever, man. I don't want to go out with you anyway.
We're both very religous, you have a great personality, and you look cute in armor, but I'm afraid you were burned at the stake centuries ago, Joan. I'm sorry.
Whatever, kid. I didn't want to go out with you anyway.
Oh Susy... if only you knew how perfect you are for me.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-24-05
What's the matter, Timmy?
I feel empty.
We all feel empty sometimes, Timmy. Kind of like a doughut. We're sad and we're missing that delicious center. But you know who fills that up? Jesus.
Wow, you're right!
So, uh... can I fill your doughnut hole?
Mom, help!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-24-05
Looks like the comics are in the 80's now!
There aren't many comic characters who look like they're from the 80's... in fact, you just look like you're from San Francisco.
A gay joke, huh? Back in the 80's we liked lots of gay things. Look at Cyndi Lauper.
I have no problem with the 80's. I was born in the 80's. If anything I'm worried about when Ryan makes 100 comics.
Why?
Duh, Y2k... but I guess the 90's will be worse. They have Good Charlotte.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-24-05
Spot the fake reason!
Well for starters, I finally got my high school ring. But I was a fatter fuck back when I picked the size, so now it doesn't fit my finger. I also never get invited to birthdays anymore...
My dog doesn't like me as much as he used to, homework's dumb, the stupid CD player wouldn't play one of my CDs, my arms hurt because I just lifted weights, I want a snow day and some love...
...Oh and all the girls in school think I have cooties, but it's really just herpes.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-24-05
Spot the fake reason!
Well for starters, I finally got my high school ring. But I was a fatter fuck back when I picked the size, so now it doesn't fit my finger. I also never get invited to birthdays anymore...
My dog doesn't like me as much as he used to, homework's dumb, the stupid CD player wouldn't play one of my CDs, my arms hurt because I just lifted weights, I want a snow day and some love...
...Oh and all the girls in school think I have cooties, but it's really just herpes.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-25-05
Dear Owen Wilson, You starred in some movie my dad was watching on television. Because of his viewing pleasure, I could not experience mine...
That's right! I missed Degrassi because of you, you bastard! Now there's going to be hell to pay!
I shall get a giant anaconda to eat you like in that other movie you did. You know, with Ice Cube. 'The Snake' or something. Loved you in Starsky and Hutch, Ryan.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-25-05
I see you're wearing a hoodie. I don't understand everyone's obsession with hoodies. I never wear hoodies.
In fact, I don't really wear shirts with sleeves either. This comic character isn't very accurate for me.
Geez, Ryan. Not every thought you think deserves a comic. If it did, you'd have like, a bunch of comics about how girls don't like you... oh, nevermind.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-25-05
Phil, what are you doing?
I'm running away...
Oh, I see. You can't handle things around here. You're such a frigging puss.
What the hell did you just call me?!
A puss.
Oh, because at first I thought you said chicken. I mean, that would've been kinda corny huh? hahahaha... I'll stay.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-25-05
To what?
Sexual acts, man. Kids are exploring the sexual world too early, man. Babies are having babies, some babies having abortions to abort their babies...
You don't even know what your talking about do you? In fact, I think you're only in this protest group for the things you're protesting.
What are you talking about, man? We're an all man protest group.
Exactly. You've been sucking more balls than Richard Karn at a Teabaggers' Convention.
You mean Al from Home Improvement?! Is he even gay?!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-26-05
A Tuesday afternoon...
Hello there, beautiful lady. I'm Johnny Five. I'm alive!
Hi Johnny Five. I'm Celine.
One year later...
Celine... would you do me the honor of being Mrs. Celine Five?
Oh Johnny! Of course I'll marry you!
Three months later...
What?!
Johnny, I'm pregnant... it's a cyborg.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-26-05
Open letters are so stupid.
You mean those things people make when they're upset at politicians and celebrities?
Yeah, and they're also the ones that thousands of people will read, but the celebrities will never know they existed.
Exactly, so of course they won't respond and nothing will change.
Yup... Oh yeah, by the way this is an open comic to my frends and fans to tell them how much I love them all. Especially Dee and Sarah, you gals rock!
Yeah! Whooooo! Open Comic!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-26-05
So you found another girl?
Yup, and unlike the others, she's going out with me.
So where is she?
She's over there!
Wow, that's the most realistic blowup doll I've ever seen.
I found her in a dumpster. Her name's Starlet and she smells like pizza.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-27-05
Just stay away from me!
What are you talking about?!
You keep coming on to me! I'm walking away now, goodbye!
Fine, whatever...
But just to let you know, I wasn't cumming on you or whatever you said!!!
Ahem.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-27-05
A joke I'm hoping somebody gets...
... so that's a piece of cake upside down.
Now, as squirrely as this is...
Dude!
Huh?
What the fuck, man!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-27-05
..and I'm contemplating suicide!
What?! Dude, don't do it!
Huh?! What are you talking about?!
You said you were going to kill yourself!
No I didn't. I was just reciting Papa Roach lyrics... remember Last Resort?
Oh yeah, that song everybody ordered on the Box non-stop for weeks. Yeah, how could I forget that.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-28-05
So did you hear what happened last night?
No, what?
Charlie Brown attempted suicide again...
Oh geez. What did he do this time?
He tired to slit his wrists with a spoon...
that blockhead.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-28-05
It's the tendercrisp bacon cheddar ranch...
It's the tendercrisp bacon cheddar ranch...
Somebody please pull the trigger for me, I only have a winchester.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-28-05
You gellin'?!
Gellin' like a felon.
I'm gellin' like a melon.
I'm gellin' and I ain't tellin'!
Ryan, you gellin' yet?
What the fuck are talking feet doing in my room?!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-28-05
You better stop smoking Mr. BigHorns, or else you might just turn into one of those suicide sticks. Look at me!
Ah, blow me, dickweed.
Haha, goofball. I told you!
Oh no!
This is 'poop'posterous! I've smoked since I was in my mother's womb and never turned into a fag.
What are you talking about?! You're a fag all right! Hahahaha... oh and you have lung cancer. Sorry.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-28-05
20 ways to make the world a better place...
20 ways to achieve your homoerotic dreams...
So first I have to...
So I have to do this first...
Will you accept these flowers and help me end war and world hunger?
Will you accept these flowers and my d!@# in your @$$?

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-28-05
It's liquid.
No, it's ice.
You know what, maybe you're right. It is ice.
No, no, no. I believe you are correct. It's liquid.
Wanna solve this problem with a sex contest?
If that's what America's teens want... they certainly don't want mints.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-28-05
Did you hear, Ryan almost has 100 comics!
Did you hear, Ryan almost has 100 comics!
Did you hear, Ryan almost has 100 comics!
Did you hear, Ryan almost has 100 comics!
Did you hear, Ryan killed 100 commies in a hail of gunfire.
What?!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
3-01-05
C'mon dude, you just made 100 comics! Cheer up!
I know, I know... I just wish I had someone to spend this momentous occasion with instead of hiding behind my hands.
We could sneak into the strip club.
Oh please, that's wrong on so many levels. I'm not sneaking in anywhere, especially a place of such sin. Finally, it's a dyke club.
So what if they're gay? It's still women.
Dude, if I wanted to watch a lesbian dance, I'd watch the Ellen Show... ... ... HAPPY ONE HUNDRED EVERYBODY!!!

Showing page 2.

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