All comics by The_squirrel

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by The_squirrel
10-23-01
What did you make on that math test?
110!
Holy shit, how did you do that??
I study my ass off every afternoon with the teacher.
Afternoon math........?!?!?!?!
OK bitch how do you want it? Up the ass or in the cunt?
I don't care just fuck me hard and you got an A!!!

 

by The_squirrel
2-25-02
Dear bob: You suck. Why I would ever think of going out with you in the first place is beyond me. Rot in hell.
on back: BOB I STILL LOVE YOU BY THE WAY!
Well that was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Wait there is more on the back.
Kids let me tell ya about women. They are masters at fucking with your mind. Ok, that is all I really have to say.

 

by The_squirrel
2-25-02
I am going to rip your eyes out and skull rape you!
Damn what would Christopher Lambert do?
I am not playing here dude.
I GOT IT!
The number one casue of death in the world is dying.
What ever you say, Jack! You are the master race.
ARGUUUUGUGUG!!

 

by The_squirrel
2-27-02
So let me get this stright... Someone likes you, you like someone eles, and then there is this one perosn that killed your cat that you had sex with but that child is in love with...
the one that loves you but you can only be happy with the one that you use to love?
Sometimes life sucks, but reality is much more painful than you think.
Rading this comic just made you 100 time dumder then you were when you started
and 100 times 0 is still 0... dumbass.

 

by The_squirrel
2-27-02
RED RED WINE....
Bob my child. Someone will betray me with a kiss.
WHATSSSUP!!!!!
At the last supper....
WHATSSSUP!!!
Dude we are drunk!
Will send me to hell.
One time when I was about 8 this kid messed with me and I zaped his ass dead... HAHA
Kick ass!!!!

 

by The_squirrel
2-28-02
Everyone this is Perm!
Grwar, flug....
Perm thinks my comics are not funny.
I would file me under "U" for gay, but I think I will file myself under "L" for big ol' cock-sucker.
File this under "S" you son of a bitch!
SO I made fun of his ass in my comics.
I AM GAY!

 

by The_squirrel
2-28-02
Comics in the eyes of perm: If they have racial jokes they are not funny.
Why do black people stink?
So blind people can hate them too.
If they have religious jokes in them, they are not funny.
What the difference between a jew and a pizza?
The pizza does not scream when you put him in the oven!
Now comics with internet geek humor are damn funny!
YOU ARE SO l337!
I might web-block your ass for that one, you half-bite.

 

by The_squirrel
3-03-02
Hey, how are ya?
I am good.
Great now here is my chance, she must think I am hot.
Why the hell did I just talk to him.
Shut down!!!
So would you like to go out with me sometime?
Umm.. I don't think I can you see I have to go home and take this shit, like forever!

 

by The_squirrel
5-30-02
I, the writer of NO BOB NO, in efforts to attract a more female audience will now display a few witty "women" jokes.
So you know any jokes you think women might like Chicken?
Oh man, do I know any good jokes that women would like?
Like all my efforts, I have failed yet again!
You don't have a one do you?
Nope. I only know bar and beef jokes.

 

by The_squirrel
5-30-02
After god knows how many comics I feel it is about time we had some damn character development around here:
Hi my name is bob, I work in hell, I live with a chicken and some times with a guy name Ryan. I have shit luck in life at which you should laugh at HARD! I know I do.
I am bongo, or thats what they tell me my name is. I work with bob and I am the guy who is always pissing in the wind.
THIS IS CHICKEN: I am even more intelligent then the writer becasue I can spell the word "intelligent"
Hello, I am known as Chicken. I have an IQ of 301. I am the most intelegent character in this strip. This gitty fool before me is Ryan. We both happen to be friends of Bob.
YEPPIE!!!!! I GET TO TALK.
Next week: Albert or Charles the Retard will be with us, don't miss out
I AM SATAN. You would have to be one dumb bastard not to know who I am. But for all you out there that have made incorrect religious choices I am the lord of DARKNESS. I am also bobs boss.
and last and lest I am FUCKING PAPERCLIP. Yes my name is FUCKING PAPERCLIP. I am just one of many cheep laughs you will get when you read this crap.

 

by The_squirrel
5-30-02
I hear tale of this fellow named Albert, but ever one calls him Charles the Retard. Now lets see some of his merry misadventures in the land of No Bob No.
Well hello there Charles, why don't you take your pants down and come on over and see old uncle squrriel.
nO ohah mey Na-names Albert!
Charles my son, for all your lying I am going to send you to hell, but frist why don't you take your pants down and come on over and see old uncle jesus.
BHYN naha yos menae tos mey ands da na na names Albert!
To avoid being laughed at there will be no last panel in this comic.

 

by The_squirrel
5-31-02
You ever try and tell a joke to a retard?
Hey Charles you want to hear a funny joke?
DU UMMMGHASDR MY NAMES ALBERT AND YE!
Well...
OK, a man, a duck, and a preist walk in to a bar and the man says....
MIES NAESSMS ALBERST!!!!!!!
It is pretty damn hard.
No you dumb ass, they say that charles boy is a big retard... I hate you so much Charles!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

by The_squirrel
5-31-02
These are the brave men who fought in Vet"MAN". There was Bob and Ryan who both feel in to a pot-hole of shit with nothing but there cocks as weapons and lived to tell the tale.
GOD DAMN RIGHT!!!!!
IT WAS SHIT!!!!!!
Then there was Big Bill Bibbt and Suffer Dude Steve, whom both had there dicks cut off by man eating turds. Then they had there eyes picked out with a spork so there eye scokets could be fucked!
I I I ca-ca-can't wait ti-ti-till wwes out there fi-fi-ite-fighting.
ROCK ON. THAT REALLY KICKS THE BUNNY'S ASS!
An last we have that large pile of shit Charles the retard!
DATS NOTSTY MY NAME, ITS ALBERT!!

 

by The_squirrel
5-31-02
Well its time for some major changes on NBN, here is Bob and Chicken with more:
We will no long be censoring No Bob No.
This means "Fuck you ass-hole" will read "You shit of life, FUCK YOURSELF HARD IN THE ASSHOLE WITH A BIG RUBBER DICK, asshole!"
This is Padro The Paper clip, you might remember him as FUCKING PAPERCLIP, but that was just a cheap joke. Anyway Pedro got his name from the band Pedro the Lion and is really fucked up in the head.
ARGHHH!!! DECEIT!!!! YOU FUCKING LIONS!!!
This is Charles the retard, his real name is albert but no one seems to know that. This fact piss off Charles. This is a joke, you laugh at this. You do know how to laugh don't you?
ARHGTGASD, MYND NAME IS ALBRET!!!

 

by The_squirrel
5-31-02
Brad Pitt Vs Jesus?? Who would win?
Charles I want you to hit me as hard as you can.
MENIAS ALBERT!!!!
How much can you know about yourself if you have never been in a fight with a retard?
Look you dumb retard hit me!!
NAAAAA MYE NAMES ALBERT!!!
I once beat up a guy with down syndrome. It was easy, so your homework is to kicks some down syndrome ass!!
Fuck you charles!!!
GAHHGAHHGAHH MAY NAMES ALBERT!!!!

 

by The_squirrel
5-31-02
(I like modest mouse... well time to start narrating)
Well baby I have had a great time tonight, I think you are really something special...
Oh me too. I feel the same way.
Suddenly...
GAHGAHGAH!!! MY NAME IS ALBERT!!
(My job sucks... I wish I would die)
What the hell was that???
Oh that was just Charles. He is a bit retarded, but he won't mind us while we are having sex or anything.

 

by The_squirrel
6-01-02
Well what are you doing in this graveyard chicken?
My goldfish just died, and I've just buried him.
How sad, but isn't that an awfully big hole for just a little goldfish?
Yeah it is.
Well why is it so big?
Becasue he is inside your fucking cat!!!

 

by The_squirrel
6-01-02
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro! (or somthing like that)" -The Great Doctor
I need a penis!! Charles do you here me, someone has stolen my dick.
MEH NAMS ALBERT!!!
God damn it man, I would kick your ass if it were not for all these fucking bats!!! Now fear my plastic applocator!!
NEHH MES BES ALBERT!!!
Back in the real world
Bob I think we have a problem. That Paperclip and Charles have met for the first time. This means insane, wacky, and druggy humor is about to occur and we will only have bit parts!!
Haha, fool. I am just a robot version of BOB bulit by aliens. Little does he know how important he really will be....

 

by The_squirrel
6-01-02
Right, you will be my lawyer despite your metal handicap. Now quick man, we must go see J'esus about my penis. Hurry Charles!
MENS NEMS TS ALBERT!!
Somewhere in space....
ROBBOB, come in...
Report to us your status ROBBOB...
Back on earth....
I have found Overlord Charles, but he seems to be on some mission with a paperclip... but that is the least of our problems I fear a chicken might know of our plans.
Who are you talking to in there bob?

 

by The_squirrel
6-01-02
Jesus christ that looks good!!! How much for a ride?
Just get me down... this fucking hurts so much.
DUHHH
Ok you mongoloid freak, cut that motherfuck down with your retard strength before I lick your molars. I will fucking do it man!!
LALALAHANA, MENS NENS ALBERT!
Yum, DIRT!!!!!!

 

by The_squirrel
6-01-02
Back on the Farm
Oh my god there is shit everywhere! What the hell are you doing bob?
Nothing.....
Don't lie bob, you are spreading shit everywhere!!!
No I am not.....
What a fucking bad cover up.....
Then what the hell are you doing?
Fertilizing the house, this one is not big enough for the two of us. So I shall make a new one!!

 

by The_squirrel
6-01-02
Jesus Ranch
I need a penis damn you!!!!
Oh alright!!!!!
It was a nice day
Crackers Crackers, but not squeezy cheese. You have broken my secret elbow!
Spank my ass and call me sally, this is fucked up!!
On jesus ranch
HAHA, vistory it mine, now stare deep in to the spooky depths of my crotch charles!!!
NAH NAH MENS NEMS ALBERT!!!

 

by The_squirrel
6-01-02
The end is near
HAHA, we meet again you large african turd, but this time I have the upper hand.
Oh great, the freaks are back, just in time to join bob on his little insanity trip.
be ready
There he is there is master Charles!!!
King of Kings and Lord of Lords!!!
it will be shitty
My god man, two asian girls from outer spaces. Someone call the fucking spy moose!!
No no, they are not asian girls, those are turds. Now I understand why bob was spreading that shit, haha....

 

by The_squirrel
6-01-02
HAHA, You are right you damn chicken. Now I will stop you from stoping us, ROBOB attack!!!
I will hold off this robot verson of Bob. So quick its all up to you paperclip, you must stop them before they get to Charles. What the hell am I saying we are fucked!!
We do not fear you earth thing. Out of our way we must speek with charles.
HAHA, you should fear my santiary napkins and stand still as I let my intestinal gas leak into your face.
KAPOW, ZAP, and POWIE!!!

 

by The_squirrel
6-01-02
HAHA it looks as if we have won this battle...
Now on to master Charles
HELE MENS NEMS ALBERT!
What your name is...
Damn irony, damn Irony!!
What your name is...
wicky, wicky, wack Albert!!!

 

by The_squirrel
6-01-02
Well I am sure you all want to know where bob was durring all this madness. I guess I thought it would be funny if I sent him back to canada!!
Justify your existance you pathetic geek pile of red meat!
Oh shit I am back in Canada!!
Ask those god damn voice in my head what they think about that.
Well I know how to fix this....
An old joke, from an old comic of mine!!!
Don't say there much better becasue they would just be a cheep joke!!

 

by The_squirrel
6-01-02
When bad ideas get worse...
Dear Charles, When I look at 12 year old boys I become sexually stimulated... am I gay? - Ollie the Olive
AH AH AH MENAS NAMES ALBERT. YES YUS GAY!
This one is an inside joke...
Dear Charlie-boy, I am tired of pissing people off, and getting pissed off. Should I go to bed? - A blond lesbian
NOOO MENS NEMS ALBERT!! YES YUS GAY!!!
Wow not an albert joke!
Well the writer of this strip has been shot in the head for boring the living hell out of you.
PONG!!!

 

by The_squirrel
6-03-02
''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?
''I know how to make them larger!
Really, HOW?!?!?!
Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs. ''They should expand over the years.
I can hear those goddamn drum crashes now....
How did you know that?
I dunno, but it sure worked for your ass, didn't it?

 

by The_squirrel
6-03-02
What a talent this man has...
Holy christ balls, there has been a terrible accident. Quickly Remy do something.
Take a message for my love
Your loving yellow box writer is now high on DOPE
No no don't sing... go get help. Quick man, there is not much time. Sweet mary mother of christ would you look at that, the fat lady is eating her way out!!
Take a message for my love
I am a fuckind dope fiend
Take a message for my love

 

by The_squirrel
6-03-02
This is Bob's dream in which Jesus comes from heaven to ask our heros 3 questions, if our heros get all of them wrong we are fucked.
What is the meaning of life?
Oh christ... I just shit in my pants. You will now eat the dirt from my back hoe!!!
Are you sexually active?
No, I just lie there.
Well looks like we are fucked on this one.
What is your name?
UM UM MY NEMS.... I DUNT KONE!!!

 

by The_squirrel
6-03-02
Remeber Patrick... well he is back!! And he is now in court... lets watch.
Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
We both do.
Voodoo?
We do.
Well I knew bring back patrick was a bad idea!!
You do?
Yes, voodoo.

 

by The_squirrel
6-03-02
More court room humor...
Doctor how many autopsies have you preformed on dead people?
All my autopsies are preformed on dead people.
Right... Do you recall the time that you examined the body in question?
The autopsy started around 8:30.
An Mr. Robot was the body daed at the time?
How stupid are you? NO, he was sitting on the tabel wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.

 

by The_squirrel
6-04-02
A day in the park...
READY YOUR ASS FOR THE TOAST OF ZANZABAR!
You dare mock me paper holding device. I am an squirrel with homicidal needs.
...with...
Trying to surprize me... well not this time fiend!!!
M NEMS NOET FIEND ITS ALBERT!!!
...the insane homeless and charles the retard.
hah ahah ahaha funny
bunny haha haha ahahah

 

by The_squirrel
6-04-02
Hello baby its dick:30 and I am looking for action. You give me a 20 I give you a good time.
ARGHHH help help!!!!
HEYS MY NANEMS ALBERT!!!
Arghhh help help!!! Its getting worse....
This is a funny punch-line to a funny comic. That means its not to this comic!
And the duck said, "Thats not my wing, ma'am but don't stop pulling it!"
HAHAHAHAHAHA.

 

by The_squirrel
6-04-02
I sold crack once...
Charles, you know something I hate crack dealers!!
It was fun...
I mean they give you the first couple for free and then once you are hooked they want you to sell your wife into slavery to get some more?
Untill the cops found me and beat the living shit out of me, I must say that was not fun at all!
I mean can't they just let me whore her out?
MI NAMS IS ALBERT!

 

by The_squirrel
6-04-02
Bob thinks Salmon is a type of beef...
I will have the salmon.
Ok, right away sir.
Three cups of coffee later ....
What the hell is this I wanted salmon.
This is salmon sir.
Remember bob is stupid but charles is a retard.
But this looks like fish. I fucking hate fish. I think I will kill myself and take you with me to HELL!!!
Salmon is a fish.

 

by The_squirrel
6-04-02
Paperclips bedtime story for Charles the retard.
Once there was a t-shirt unlike any other t-shirt.
It was unlike the other t-shrits becasue it had a big tear down the side.
The big tear made it retarded so no one would buy the shrit, so they threw it away. THE END!
BOOO HUOO, MY NAMS ALBERT!!!

 

by The_squirrel
6-05-02
Hello everybody I am a Faggot!
YOU SUCK!!!
You bet your sweet ass I do. For just a buck too.
ARGHHHH!!!!

 

by The_squirrel
6-06-02
Not coming soon to a threater near you: NO BOB NO the movie. See bob as Jesus Christ
Oh fuck! they really nailed my ass to this cross. This hurts so god damn bad!
See Paperclip vs. Homicidal Squirrel round 2
Silence, Clitoral cheese-nip, silence!! I am now giant peanut!
I shall enjoy your screams of agnoy and anguish as I remove you manhood.
See Charles the Retard as ALBERT!!
MWYAS NEMS... I AMN SO CONFUSD

 

by The_squirrel
6-06-02
I have been told there were no children here.
What the fuck are you talking about?
After wasting 89 comics and a panel I fear it is time for me to start the real story line.
Holy shit chicken! I got a poop stain in my pants.
What the fuck? Where did that talking paperclip go? and what the fuck are you talking about?
It seems as if I had neglected to tell chicken of my plans... oh well.
Dude we don't know the paperclip or albert yet. The writer is starting the story line.
Yeah, it would be just like that unfunny ass-hole of a writer we have to try something like that.

 

by The_squirrel
6-07-02
A fun time in the park with a homicidal squirrel
Hey little fellow. How would you like it if I gave you some nuts? You would like that wouldn't you.
....
What was that little fellow?
I said how would you like if I made you a new hole for you to shit out of? You would like that wouldn't you.
Its all just fun and games till someone turns gay!
Why yes? Yes I would that way I could use one for sexaul fun and the other for shitting. That would make being gay so easy.
ARGHHHHHHH....

 

by The_squirrel
6-07-02
I need porn....
Click here for a good time.
Welcome to stripcreator.com, with technically naked demon... dance you little fucker dance!!!

 

by The_squirrel
6-07-02
Paperclip is happy...
Worship my pores!!!
Today is his birthday...
I sense the presence of your soiled pants!!!
And it seems as if he got what he really wanted...
For now with my mighty stapler remover I can finally be ride of the god damn competition.

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