All comics by ela_nichole

Profile

 

by ela_nichole
5-25-04
Hey Trisha!! Can you believe my parents actually let me come to ur birthday party?
Yeah Ela, I thought u said they couldn't manage without you. Come on in!
Twenty minutes later...
Hey Girl, your parents are on the phone for you.
I'm proud of them- they beat their previous record of not calling me for ten minutes.
Ela? We're sorry to bother you, but we can't find the TV remote.
It's on top on the TV next to the list of emergency phone numbers.

 

by ela_nichole
5-27-04
Jeremy, I told you to stop smoking!! Now look what happened!!!
What's wrong with this picture?
This place is horrible!! And it smells like shit!
Oh, I forgot to wipe my butt.
Jeremy- you better clean your room now before Dad gets home.
Goober, how about you clean it for ten dollars?

 

by ela_nichole
5-27-04
Hey who are you?
I'm Rick James, bitch!!
What's you smoking, nigga?
I auta pimp-slap you right now, but it's Christmas!
Aaaa-ite.
Merry fucking Christmas, bitch!!

 

by ela_nichole
5-27-04
whats that smell it smells like shit!!
that was me i farted
blah blah blah fucking blah
f you
kiss my black ass jason
you kiss mine nick

 

by ela_nichole
5-27-04
can I get your auto graph
What?What?What?
I said can I get your fucking autograph baldy
Do you want me to open a can of woop ass on you
bring it on Bitch
lets drink beer insted

 

by ela_nichole
5-27-04
After reviewing his last comic, Ela confronts Nick.
Hey Nicolas, I told you not to make any comics with cussing in them!!
But Ela, it doesn't count if I type them. I'm not even saying the fucking bad words out loud.
Yeah but I don't want Mom and Dad to get mad and say I'm a bad influence on you or anything.
Don't worry, sis, they won't think that.
How do you know they won't think I'm corrupting you?
'Cuz they said that's Rogie's job.

 

by ela_nichole
5-27-04
Ya see Ela, by process of elimination, you are my best sibling.
Gee thanks, that really makes me feel a whole lot better.
And if anything ever goes wrong, Mom and Dad always look at the other kids before they even consider you.
Well, I guess being the best child has its advantages...
Wait a minute, I said you were the best SIBLING- I never said you were their best CHILD!!
Yeah, just let me take a wild guess at who the best child is.

 

by ela_nichole
6-02-04
Hey Ela- you look like you are getting fat, no tortillas and butter for you!!
Listen up Grandmotherfucker- you need to worry about your own daughter- who by the way is only skinny cause of the crack she's on! I'm taken care of!
So when are you getting married? You know I disown you as long as you and whats-his-face are living in sin!!
Listen up Auntie- you need to worry about your own step daughter!! I'm not the one whose knocked up with 2 babies from 2 different daddies! I'm taken care of!
Hey Share-bear, is it possible to divorce the family members you dislike?
There was a movie on Lifetime where a kid named Gregory did.

 

by ela_nichole
6-14-04
Wow, Ela, you are looking nice today. How's life treatin' ya these days?
What's it to ya bro? What do you care?
Hey, don't give me that crap- I really do give a shit about my sister!!
I detect bullshit.
You are really my favorite sister and you mean so much to me. You are such an amazing gal.
Hmmmmmm.............. So Rogie when do you need me to babysit Missy?

 

by ela_nichole
6-14-04
Ahhhh, Cozumel, Mexico...
Sabrina, we finally made it here. Isn't it beautiful? We're definitely far away from ordinary. Just look at how mesmerizing the sunset is.
Where's all the cute boys? I'm ready to mix and mingle with the male population.
Damn Briny!! Take a look araound at how amazing this place is! Can't you just enjoy the atmosphere?! Can't you just relax and think of anything else besides boys for once?!
No.
It was worth a try.

 

by ela_nichole
7-09-04
Hey Nicky, welcome to the family!!
Thanks Ela, but I just don't know about some of ya'll.
What do you mean? We have all been welcoming to you ever since our brother introduced you to us.
True enough about the welcoming, but Rogie is a little too friendly........ with my butt.
Oh yeah, Sabrina's boyfriend had the same reaction, but don't worry, k?. Especially about Rogie- he'd do anything for you.
You're right, Ela. He's so helpful that he offered to help me with my mammogram later tonight.

 

by ela_nichole
7-10-04
All right folks, please welcome our next talent finalist, Rogie!!
Backstage, Ela tries to help Rogie conquer his stagefright...
That's your cue, Rogie!! Don't worry, you've been practicing for 6 months now, you'll do fine.
You're right sis, here goes nothing...
YEAH!!! ROGIE WE LOVE YOU!!! WHOOOO!!!
*...She bangs, she bangs!! She moves she moves.....*

 

by ela_nichole
7-17-04
Another person makes a wrong turn into the gates of Heaven...
well well, osama bin ladin...
Sorry I'm looking for hell.
Later, he found the tornado of hell.
welcome sadam... I mean bin ladin.
SADAM!? What the hell are you talking about I'm sadam? I'm bin ladin! Sshhheeeesh!
I guess they AREN'T going to get along............ The End
i guess the people were right- you are a complete ass.
YOU are devil dirt.

 

by ela_nichole
7-18-04
oh my gosh METALLICA'S lead guitar singer!!
who the hell are you? i think I seen you at one of our concerts before......gag.
do yall smoke some times...
hell no we don't, I know you do.
how did you know that I smoke?
uuuuhh your lips are turning black... I have to go see ya.

 

by ela_nichole
7-28-04
Welcome aboard Carnival Criuse Lines!
Hey Captain- can I ask you a question? Does this thing have 'cruise control'?
Uh, actually yes it does. We have a couple of crew members equipped with oars downstairs.
When was the last time you hit an iceberg?
Last week. They're patching the hole right now.
Does the 'women and children first' rule apply here?

 

by ela_nichole
7-28-04
Excuse me ma'am? Do you happen to have any duct tape?
Sure do. How much do you need?
Oh...Just enough to patch the hole where we hit the iceberg.
I thought you said you had that fixed!
Well the crew member who was holding it together couldn't hold his breath any longer and drowned.
Let me go get the tape.

 

by ela_nichole
8-03-04
Now what brought Eva all the way to San Antonio?
Rogie, I have some very important news to give to you.
Eva, I don't care if you just got transferred to another location.
Well, anyways, I'm pregnant with your baby.
Oh fuck!! Now everyone will find out about our summer fling last month in Ivanhoe!!
Wait a minute, rewind. So THAT is why Dan had "the talk" with him awhile back...
Let me make a suggestion, Rogie- use protection if you wanna get jiggy with a black widow.... blah, blah, blah....
Like yeah, whatever, condoms are so useless.

 

by ela_nichole
8-03-04
Still rewinding to the good old days...
Ok Dan, what else is there to know about safe sex?
If you're not for sure, then double bag it. Also never feel up anyone who's passed out drunk- they will wake up and puke on you.
Ok, thanx so much for your fatherly advice.
Let me make a suggestion- don't tell your dad you came to me for "the talk".
Now let ME make a suggestion- get your story straight- You offered "the talk" to me.
But you're the one who winked at me, baby.

 

by ela_nichole
8-08-04
muyoyeeah
aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
hjvkfgjhvfbjfh
Fuck this, I'm outta here!!!
jfgmkbvnnbmbgvhgj
ERIC!!!!!!!!

 

by ela_nichole
8-08-04
pppppssss!!
Oh my god you pissed on the carpet!!!
flarp!!
Oh my god now YOU shit on the carpet!!!
bbblllluuuhhhhhhhh!!
Oh my god YOU puked on the carpet!!!!

 

by ela_nichole
8-13-04
Rogie emerges miraculously unhurt after a tragic event. But where is everyone else?
Wow, so Dad was right afterall- There actually was another world war. I wish I would have listened to him.
Doesn't look like there's anyone else who survived this awful event. What if I'm the only survivor?
A happy ending?
Whoooo!! Now I can dance around naked outside and sing as loud as I want to!

 

by ela_nichole
8-13-04
After about an hour of dancing and singing in the nude, Rogie develops a rash and gets cold...
I'm so alone in this world now. I miss my family. Now who will clean up after me?
Who's gonna wash my dishes? Who will buy me toilet paper? Who's gonna suffer through my poetry and short stories?
Another survivor?
I will be that person for you.
Hey... who said that? who could it be?

 

by ela_nichole
8-14-04
Looks like Rogie isn't all alone in this world afterall.
EVA!!! Wow- you're alive! How did you survive the bombing?
I guess I'm immune to things exploding in my face.
Upon further inspection, they verify that they are indeed the only two survivors left on earth.
Eva, I can't believe that this is the end of civilization as we know it! How are you coping?
I wonder if this dead guy has any money on him?
Well Rogie, I guess it is up to us to reproduce and repopulate the world.

 

by ela_nichole
8-14-04
An hour after Eva's request to save the world, Rogie is nowhere to be found.
Well, damn! I'm trying to give back to this earth and Rogie won't even help me. I know how I used to live and I want to change all that now.
I'ld like to start over and try to recreate my spirituality and rebuild a better soul. I will do my best to help mankind! ......... or at least what's left of it.
Hey this guy's got an erection. I wonder if I can get any sperm out of it?

 

by ela_nichole
8-16-04
Ya know what dude? You're really cramping my style.
What do ya mean? I thought I was cool like you.
No- your nerdness can't be helped.
Yeah, I love you too, asshole! With friends like you, who needs enemies?
If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
Revenge is sweet....

 

by ela_nichole
8-16-04
Officer!! Please help me!! I have to report a very gay man commiting a crime!
Oh, I see....
An hour later....
And the twentieth and last offense is....
Yes?
He's hiding cocaine in his bum.
God I just love cavity searches!!

 

by ela_nichole
8-16-04
Day One in Prison.
Hey you!! Yeah you!! I'm talking to you! What do you think you're looking at?
(Gulp) Uh... nothing....
You calling me nothing, huh?
Er... No, I didn't, uh, say that...
You calling me a liar? Hey why ya walking funny?
This really sucks. But what are friends for afterall?

 

by ela_nichole
8-22-04
give me some money
I only have a ten
thats fine give me the hole ten
alwrite let me look in my purse
ok here ya go
yes more MONEY and more cigarrets

 

by ela_nichole
11-20-04
Boy this cheese burger is so good.
so i ate a 100 hot dogs before.
so this cheese buger is good!
you don't get the point- see i don't give a freaken care!!
this is good!
would you shut up you fat rat stinking hobo i bet youll never geta date.

 

by ela_nichole
11-21-04
what the its you again.
im almost finished with it.
so he told his brother......
im going to tell my brother to tell you to shut up!
what are you talking about.
my brother said you would't shut up so shut up fatty!
wwwwwwwwaaaaaaahhhhhhhh im out of here!!!!

 

by ela_nichole
11-21-04
what is it now you are drunk.
the question is are you drunk?
when will you leave me alone you drunken monkey!
wwwhhhhhhuuuuuuu aaaahhhhhddd
so he dropped dead.
drop dead you bubble haeded idiot
oouucchh

 

by ela_nichole
11-23-04
this cigeret is good
right on jermy!
what up ciger
nothing im just killing people with my canser and your next
nooo
im here to take you to your grave

 

by ela_nichole
12-24-04
Just another day on the job for sweet Vanessa...
Oh great, another punk kid giving me the eye... I bet he smokes too!!
Man, is she hot!!!
Welcome to CVS, how can I help you?
Uh, um yes... can you help me find the condoms?
Aisle 3, next to the Vagisil.
Can you help me put one on? ....Wait a minute, did I say that out loud? Crap...

 

by ela_nichole
12-24-04
Sorry, but we don't have dressing rooms to try on condoms, you just have to get the right size.
Do you have magnum XL?
So what did you say your name was CUTIE PIE?
My mom calls me Jerpy.
What do you want me to call you?
Well I've always wanted to be called George.

 

by ela_nichole
12-31-04
then princess meets tiger and fight
come here princess kitty
mmmmmmeeooooww
kccccccccccckkkkk
rrrrrrrrhhhrhhhh
princess wins
i win tiger

 

by ela_nichole
1-07-05
Nicolas belts out a few tunes...
&&& HIT ME BABY, ONE MORE TIME!! &&&&
Hit me baby,... one more time!!
Maybe he should sing something by Eminem?
&&& BOY YOU'VE GOT ME BLINDED! &&&&
Boy you've got me blinded!
Um, I don't think you are supposed to sing that part.
&&& (GUITAR) &&&&
Guitar!!

 

by ela_nichole
1-07-05
Welcome to Taco Bell, would you like to hear our specials?
What can I get for $3.00?
You can get 2 bean burritos and a tostada.
That should be enough to feed me and my friends. Business is slow tonight.
What business proffession are ya'll in?
WE ARE WHORES!!!

 

by ela_nichole
1-07-05
Welcome to Taco Bell, can I help you?
Do the beans ya'll use in the burritoes give your consumers gas?
Well yes of course, duh!
I guess I shouldn't have eaten all those burritoes. I wonder where all the gas comes from?
Hey you bug!! Get back in the beans where you're supposed to be!!
But it's lonely in there...

 

by ela_nichole
7-04-05
Nick and Ela search for some really great deals at the thrift store...
Hey Ela, do they have any football jerseys here?
Yeah probably some vintage ones, I don't know just keep looking!
Will you buy me one if I find it?
Sure, sure, whatever, just let me look! I'm trying to shop here!
So... have you found any jerseys here yet?
Well seeing that I am in the lady's department ..... NO!!!! Leave me alone!

 

by ela_nichole
8-03-05
After a loooooong drive, Ela finally makes it to San Antonio.
Hey Ela! I'm so glad ya'll made it to my new apartment!
Yeah but the fucking "Blanca" street sign was missing so we got lost!
Oh well, are you ready to meet Darla?
OH, so you finally got a new girlfriend huh bro?
Hi, I'm Darla the hedgehog, will you rub my spikes from my tail to my head?
Well I guess Rogie is just like Debbie- can't turn away ANY stray animal!!

 

by ela_nichole
8-09-05
Ahhh, the parental fundamentals....
Alright honeybear, it is time for you to be potty trained.
But MAMA!! I'm scared of Mr. Toilet Man! What if he is still hungry when I'm thru?
HA! I doubt that will be a problem!
Or what if he chokes on it on the way down?
An hour later....
Gross! What in the hell did you eat, Dylan!?
Just your so-called cooking, Mama.

 

by ela_nichole
8-09-05
Well Dylan, it is your first day of school & I'm gonna miss you! I remember all your 1st's... 1st steps, 1st haircut, 1st word...
Fuck?
I remember the first time you called me 'Mama', the first time you vomited on me, and the first time you ate a cockroach...
Oh man! She's gonna do it again!!
OH! My baby is just growing up too fast! I'm getting so old!
Ok Mama, I will stay home another year, but ya know, I will have to start school EVENTUALLY!! I'm almost old enough to drive now!

 

by ela_nichole
8-19-05
Barhopping and mingling
Yeah, that fish that I caught was so frickin huge that it hardly fit in our boat.
That's nothing! One time I caught a giant dinosaur using just my belt buckle and dental floss!
Uh...ok.... if ya say so.....Yeah, I'ld like to see this alleged 'dinosaur'.
But he was so afraid of me that he took off and I haven't seen him since.
The following week, on a deserted island...
WHOA!!!!! There really WAS a dinosaur!
Did Joey send you? Where is he? I have to hide from my family, they will give me so much hell for letting a dumbass catch me with dental floss!

 

by ela_nichole
12-04-06
Roger, I'm so glad you finally agreed to take me out, but why did you wait 9 long years?
Well Andrea, I had to let pure desperation set in.
How did you find this great restaurant? It's so far away?
Well I couldn't be seen with you, so we had to go to another city.
Yeah but did we have to cross the state line too?
I can't take any chances.

 

by ela_nichole
12-04-06
Are you ashamed of me or something?
Well my family would give me so much crap if they knew I was here with you.
Hey look over there! They look familliar!
OH NO, it's my sister Ela and her husband Eric!
Hey Roger, who's your date?
I just threw up in my mouth a little...

 

by ela_nichole
12-04-06
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
Yeah my mommy and daddy took me to the zoo yesterday...
My parents took me to the zoo, a pet shop, AND to my Grandma Snack's house, which is like a zoo.
I just got my allowance too- a whole $8!
Well I got $9.
Why do you always have to out do me? My mommy and daddy told me that wasn't very nice!?
I have 2 mommys and 2 daddys.

 

by ela_nichole
12-08-06
With news of upcoming Hurricane Rita, the Cox's prepare to evacuate...
Come on Baby, we have to leave before Rita gets here!
But my poor kitties! Who will feed the strays while we're gone?!
They will be fine! Don't worry about them at all.
But Roger!
Who knew cats could fly?
I can't believe that bitch left us!
Well it's a good thing we have nine lives!

 

by ela_nichole
12-08-06
I'm so glad we finally made it to a safe location!
Yeah and it only took us 32 hours!
A little while later...
Hey Uncle Roger! I heard on the radio that Rita has changed courses and is heading straight towards us!
Oh crap Lori! This stress is making me lose my hair!
A safe place afterall?
Ela, your dad WOULD have to evacuate us to a heavily wooded area huh?
That's ok Lolly, we can take refuge in the trailer. We'll be fine.

 

by ela_nichole
12-08-06
Debbie panics when the first wind hits
Quick! Everyone under the mattress!
I'm too scared to move! This is just like out of a movie!
Jeremy!! Get under the table! Jeremy!!
No mom! Just let me sit up and enjoy a smoke!
What's the matter Willie? U want some more water?
Granny!! You keep forcing me to drink and now I gotta go piss... Jeremy's shoe looks like a good place to relieve myself.

Showing page 2.

« Previous