All comics by iloveashleykline

 

Here's your mail, Mr. Bacon?
Thank you John. Lemme see what I got today.
KA-BOOM!!!!!
Fuckin letter bombs.

 

Hey, little girl, wanna make a quick dollar?
by iloveashleykline, 5-28-07

 

Johnson, from your current position I can tell you're wondering why I asked you to meet me here in this ice-cave.
And the answer is simple. I'm going to kill you and there will be no witnesses.
And I can tell from your current position that you've already frozen to death.

 

Ha ha ha! And when he went outside to get the paper I slammed the door and boarded it up!
It's a classic prank.
I'm going to go ahead and murder you now.

 

Hey, Lindsay Lohan?
$1
How much do you charge to give head?
Hmmmm. Not worth it.

 

Hello Death. Are you here for the job interview?
What? No.
Actually, I'm here looking for someone.
Who?
Just follow the trail corpses.

 

I'M INNOCENT I TELL YOU!
Shut up in there!
I'M TOO RICH AND POPULAR AND PRETTY TO BE IN JAIL!
NOTE: I Hate Paris Hilton...but I'd still fuck her.
....
Who the fuck do think you are? Paris Hilton?

 

Well well well. If it isn't Hermione Granger.
It's been awhile, hasn't it Mr. Bacon?
It sure has you little slut. I haven't seen you since you turned from a handsome young man into a piece of bacon.
You grabbed my tits.
And I'd do it again.

 

Can you tell me how to get to the hospital?
Sure, you take the next left and it's right there.
So, what's wrong with you?
Well, me and my merry men got drunk last night and...well...I have an arrow up my ass.

 

Mr. Bacon's First Day Of Teaching
FOR THE LAST TIME, STOP SAYING THE WORD "BOOTY"! IT'S NOT APPROPRIATE!
*SPEAKER* MR. BACON PLEASE REPORT TO ROOM K18
Well, I guess we're through here. I have to go teach two little dipshits who each need 1 credit to graduate.
So..can I go now?
Yes, you sucked my off pretty good today so I think I'll give ya a little more money than normal.

 

*deep breath* Okay. Here I go. My first class. Oh I'm so nervous.
I have to be nice though. They'll respect me if I'm nice to them. Ok, showtime.
TAKE YOUR SEATS MUTHERFUCKERS!

 

Hey Bobby! Bobby...are you drunk?
What did you s...say Her...Hermione? How d..dare you? C'mon 'ere y..you lil slut!
*GROPE GROPE*
Bobby! Get off my tits! That's it! Baconius Transformus!
Do Wha'?
A...A....ACHOO!
Gotta go! Bye!
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME! NOOOOO!

 

So Bobby, how are things with you?
I piss blood every morning.
Yeah, I'm doing pretty good *sip*

 

Eddy's first try at stand up
Ladies and gentlemen please
Will you give your attention to me
HOMO!
Shut up Bobby!
BLOW ME!

 

Hey Eddy, have you seen Bobby 'round?
Last time I saw him he was trippin' on mushrooms.
DUDE, YOU'RE A PENGUIN! YOU LOOK LIKE A MIDGET IN A TUX OR A NUN OR SOME SHIT. CAN I PET YOU?
I just wanna take you home and snuggle with you, you're so cute!
SOMEONE CALL SECURITY!

Showing page 2.

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