All comics by brycekain

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by brycekain
8-14-15
Wow.
Tinder for Oculus has really gone downhill in the last couple of years.

 

by brycekain
8-14-15
My arch rival! We must fight to death! All your dildo factory are belong to ME!
mmm! HA HA! YES! Death we must fight to. Bad asian stereotype, we are not! FIGHT!
CONGRATULATIONS! THIS IS THE 4TH TIME WE'VE USED THE ROBOT DILDO FACTORY JOKE!
What...?
I have no fucking clue anymore...

 

by brycekain
8-14-15
I'm not picking that up.
You have to pick it up. You are contractually obligated.
When the hell is he going to start wearing diapers??
When Rosie is past her consensual pegging phase.

 

by brycekain
8-14-15
Pumpkin fucker!
I'm not a pumpkin fucker. Why would you say that?
How do you think I got these holes??
Obamacare?
mmmm.... yeah, that's right. Talk dirty to me, baby.

 

by brycekain
8-16-15
Dear Jesus: please let my team win the big game for little Timmy....
Sorry, I'm late. Had a meeting upstairs.
Please, God. PLEASE don't let Farmer McGregor cut off my head...
Sorry I'm late. Had a big game to win for the Make a Wish foundation.
Oh god... oh GOD... OH DEAR LORD...
Sorry I'm late........ IS THAT A FUCKING GLORY HOLE???

 

by brycekain
8-16-15
I was in the middle of six different things when your wife came into the emergency room. I'm sorry, but she died. Please pick up her body down at the morgue so we can make room for new patients.
I'm not married. I was here for the sex addiction support group.
Well, if you're heading home and into necrophilia, have I got a deal for you!

 

by brycekain
8-16-15
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME...
OK, WHO PUT THEIR BALLS ALL OVER MY TREE??

 

by brycekain
8-19-15
"I used to do stats, but it got to be a lot of work when people started asking me to include their 9 secret alts and whatnot. I'm glad someone else is doing this stuff nowadays :)"
"Are you the comic-count Nazi?" ................................... "I wouldn't say 'Nazi.' I just like the numbers of it all."
MUAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA...
Sir, whatever you're thinking of doing, it's not worth it.
Fuck off, Hal.

 

by brycekain
8-19-15
Are we doing the Robot Dildo Factory joke again?
I don't know.
It's all GREEK to me!
What is?
Butt fucking.

 

by brycekain
8-19-15
So this is Planned Parenthood. Sorry I knocked ya up. Chow!
Wait!
What?
We only mutually masturbated eachother. I can't be pregnant.
Fill in the blank in the comments section below:
I thought you just had a weird clit-jerking fetish?
[ ____________ ]

 

by brycekain
8-19-15
This is a test. This is only a test.
Actually, no it isn't. This is a generically created comic using only the RCL button and a lot of weed.
Don't you mean the RLC button?
Are you dyslexic?
Yes?
Then yes I do.

 

by brycekain
8-19-15
I'm sorry, but I must kill you now.
Why?
Because I'm hungry.
You know how hard it is to make as many comics as you possibly can in a 24 hour period of time?
Oh ok.
Obviously not enough weed has been smoked to make anything funny out of this.

 

by brycekain
8-19-15
Why are we back in the video arcade?
Dude, shut up! We're different characters now, REMEMBER?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I wouldn't fuck you. You're my favorite pussy.
WHAT?!?
Roadhouse :)

 

by brycekain
8-19-15
Blue moon you saw me standing alone without a dream in my heart. Without a love of my own.
Blue moon, you knew just what I was there for. You heard me saying a prayer for someone I really could care for.
Is this a song about Smurf buttsex?

 

by brycekain
8-19-15
Dude, point that thing somewhere else.
ahhhhhhhhhh!
Dude...
I'm sorry! I have a gun fetish!

 

by brycekain
8-19-15
Tampon joke?
Sure. Why not.

 

by brycekain
8-19-15
I'll have the steak, medium rare and a side order of bacon. Hold the salad. Oh, and a bloody mary to drink.
I'm on a diet. Just bring me some water.
Dude, come on. I'll feel like a pig eating in front of you.
Nah, I brought some dehydrated food from home. Add water and wallah!
I really wish you'd stop bringing tampons to restaurants.

 

by brycekain
8-19-15
Sir, you're not flooding StripCreator with comics, are you?
Nah. Just going to try to make a lot more comics to give 4LT something to count.
How long have you been a virgin?
I can't help it if I have no penis.

 

by brycekain
8-20-15
Half-ass desktop secure?
Half-ass desktop secure.
Creating another comic to add to 4LT's count list?
Comic to add to 4LT's count list commencing in 3...2...1...
HERPES!

 

by brycekain
8-20-15
So I walked by my 15 year old's room earlier today and heard him shout "Yeah, fuck you, Obama!" while watching a video. This is how I imagine the conversation would go if I had asked him about it.
You know I don't approve of you using that kind of language. Why did you say that?
Because Obama sucks as a president!
Ok, I respect your opinion, but what are you basing this on?
He's a socialist muslim who wants to destroy America! He's holding all of us down!
Oh yeah. The president has oppressed you SOOOOOOO much.... still enjoying those video games I bought you and that new iPad you got?
They're not the right color!

 

by brycekain
8-20-15
Coroner's personal log, Tuesday Jan 23rd, 2am: Second day on the job and boy am I tired!
I've learned a lot over the past couple of days, some of it very surprising. For example: Did you know that corpses can get boners after they die? I know, weird, right?
On an unrelated note: I'm no longer a virgin.

 

by brycekain
8-20-15
FACE THE DAWN, YOU HORRIBLE MONSTER!
AAAAAAHHH!!!
Sorry. I had Taco Bell for lunch.

 

by brycekain
8-20-15
Dear tenants: You have 24 hours to vacate the premises or we will be forced to have the cops remove you.
We don't take kindly to your kind living here. Leave now or we will MAKE YOU LEAVE!
It's because I'm biracial, isn't it?
No, no. It's a generic Trump demolitions letter.

 

by brycekain
8-20-15
I caaan't belieeeve I ate the whoooole thiiiing...

 

by brycekain
8-20-15
Put it over here.
But you wanted it over here.
Changed my mind. Put it over here.
What is it?
Do you want Clown to say "None of your fucking business"? Text your answer to 26257. Want Clown to say "Shut the fuck up, Donnie"? Text 28687. Or do you want him to say "Roadhouse"? Text 2736896876278
They're never going to figure that shit out, dude.

 

by brycekain
8-20-15
GET 'N MAH PANTS 'N SUCKIT!
Poor Cleetus. Nobody understood his leech fetish.
What the fuck is a leech anyway?

 

by brycekain
8-20-15
GET 'N MAH PANTS 'N SUCKIT!
Uh...Cletus, you might wanna call 911...
WHA? WATS RONG WIT' MAMA??

 

by brycekain
8-24-15
I thought long and hard about this all day. I have a serious problem and I'd like to post here about it.
I debated about it for so long because I thought that everyone here would take this as a complete joke. But this is not a joke.
My fur baby Demon has been having seizures and we need help to save his life. Please take a second and go to our fundraiser page: http://www.afallenmind.com/demon Thank you.

 

by brycekain
8-30-15
I am lacking in the funny today.
You could have just had me say Roadhouse or some shit.

 

by brycekain
8-30-15
aHA! It is I, Dracula!
Why do you keep popping up on the RCL button?
I took too much Viagra?
Christ, I'm not stoned enough for this crap.

 

by brycekain
8-30-15
So I finished her off with a gentle kiss and a punch to the crotch.
Groovy.
Halloween is just around the corner. What are you going as?
The usual.
Yeah, I gotta ask... how does one prepare for dressing up like an RCL Button?
Fraggle Rock porn, mostly.

 

by brycekain
9-05-15
Missed connection: I was standing outside of the grocery store looking into the window when I gasped. There before me was a beautiful, slender frame. I wanted to put my hands all over her.
She wasn't alone. They all had short, white builds. I stood trembling. Such tight packages. But the store was closed. This was yesterday and I am too sick to go to the store today.
Wait, you put an ad on Craig's List??
Mr. Fung still hasn't grasped the concept of subtle sarcasm.
JUST GO GET ME SOME FUCKING TAMPONS, ASSHOLE!

 

by brycekain
9-05-15
MISSED CONNECTION: I was in line at your place of work when I saw two men giving you a hard time. You were standing your ground and defending yourself.
I was going to help, but you were suddenly whisked off by security or the police or something. I hope you didn't go to jail. You have a right to religious freedom!
P.S. - I have a fetish for fat, homophobic, closet lesbians named Kim. I hope this won't spoil things.

 

by brycekain
9-30-15
People have been wondering where you've been.
Nobody is wondering where I've been. And anything I tell you regarding what I've been up to won't tranlsate well into a comic.
Seems like you're reaching, but ok I'll bite: how so?
I'm a musician. I do musician things, professionally. I could write about that all day long, but it would suck and it's not very funny.
You're secretly Red Feather, aren't you?
NEVER SPEAK THAT NAME IN MY PRESENCE AGAIN!

 

Heeey, I'm Dr. Kevorkian. Depressed?
by brycekain, 10-19-15

 

by brycekain
10-19-15
As your psychiatrist, I promise that your information will be kept in the strictest confidence. Unless you threaten to kill yourself, then I have to call the cops.
So... if I want to succeed at killing myself, I SHOULDN'T tell you?
Are you planning on killing yourself in the next five seconds?
No, but...
THANK YOU! Time's up. See you next week! Pay the lady at the window. NEXT!!!!!!

 

by brycekain
11-02-15
What the fuck?
He said he just wanted to make a random comic.
But you're drowning. In my office. In no water.
Oh this? My dominatrix forgot the safe word.
Dammit, is this another Roadhouse moment?

 

by brycekain
11-16-15
Bob suffers a rare condition called Acute Penile Gord or as it's more commonly known: Pumpkin Cock.
It's also detachable.
Ya done laughing at my pain, asshole?

 

by brycekain
11-21-15
Alone... he wandered the wasteland... lonely... wandering... the lone wanderer... erer..... (erererer)
Before the bombs fell, he lived a peaceful life. Wife... son... robot man-servant.......
Are you ever coming out of there?
Are you kidding? I'm high and playing Fallout 4! You'll be lucky to ever fucking see me again!

 

by brycekain
12-16-15
Here's the problem with this comic: no matter what the lead up is, you've already seen the punchline.
He's got a point.
Kinda catches the eye before you have a chance to read it.
So how am I supposed to come up with anything funny?
Oh that's easy. Just tell 'em that while they were reading this, they just got that much closer to death.
Wait, you can't say that. It'll make you seem like a dick.

 

by brycekain
12-18-15

 

by brycekain
12-24-15
How to Be the Best at Being Apathetic...
Step 1: Join a comic contest about apathy... Step 2: Secretly message all the other contest entrants and tell them not to make a 10th comic just to piss off the moderator.
Step 03: If you actually did step 2, congratulations! It was just a joke and you're a dick........ uhhh......... actually, that sounds more like it would be passive-aggress...
Can I stop jerking your mom off now?

 

by brycekain
12-24-15
This hallway is very long. So very very long.
Yes, it is so so very long. It is so long that this PART OF it is A-MAZE-ing! The end!
PSST! Isn't this the background Bryce usually uses for those "Madonna Vagina" jokes?
BITCH, YOU MAKE US LOSE THIS THING AND YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT THAT ABORTION I PROMISED YOU FOR HANUKKAH!

 

by brycekain
12-24-15
BLUH! BLUH!
Halloween is over, dumb ass. It's Christmas now.
Oh... well, what if I wanted to be a Christmas vampire? Ever think of that?
So, you were shooting for ultra gay?
Nice comeback, bukakke face.

 

by brycekain
12-24-15
Why are you reading "Christianity for Dummies?"
Check this out: There is a little known passage in the book of Joblow that says all caucasian males with black hair are homosexual at best and at worst, condemned to a life of eternal hellfire.
Excuse me?
Dude, it gets worse: Any dark haired, pale man that questions the word of God shall be impaled with the nearest gay man's penis until the Night-Haired Bastard of Unman is slain...
What the fuck??
Bend over.

 

by brycekain
12-24-15
Ya? Well, I'll bet yuh 50 bucks that yuh can't suck muh dick!
I don't want to suck your dick.
RIGHT! Cause'n yuh CAN'T!
Good, because I don't want to.
Why must we always fight on Kwanzaa, poopsie? :(

 

by brycekain
12-24-15
What is all this then?
Trying to break up the monotony.
Of...?
All the gay jokes.
How queer.

 

by brycekain
12-24-15
This new political internship that you got me... it isn't working for that Grandpa Munster looking dude who's against abortion and hates women, is it?
If by "hates women" you mean "carefree lady's man who loves to love and hates to break hearts...?" Then yes. He's a lover, not a fighter. If you know what I mean? *wink*
Just like he haaaaaates ABORTIONS! *double wink*
You're working for Ted Cruz.

 

by brycekain
12-24-15
What ya doin?
Staring.
At what?
33 followers. What a pathetic bastard.
Did you hear? "Tiger's Blood" is the new AIDS.

 

by brycekain
12-24-15
Oh god, WHY????
Now son, we are learning a very important lesson here.
WHAT???
Remember when I told you not to leave the chili out where other people can eat it?
YEAH?????
And remember when I told you to never feed your Mogwai after midnight....?

Showing page 22.

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