All comics by christopher7murphy

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A) Rely on the visual, using a mouse AND a man.
Tell me about the rabbits again, George. Tell me 'bout the rabbits!
We'll raise 'em and make millions!
B) Go for the offensive...maybe even shocking.
They have boobies!
C) All of the above...
They were delicious!

 

The year 1984.
"We are the future!... and nothing can stop us."
Nonsense, child. You're just a violent, inner city little prole.
Bullshit, teacherman! You'll see...I'm gonna change the world!
-sigh- Maybe there's hope. After all, you are taking music lessons.
2008: Big Brother is watching you!
What's he doing now?
Just sittin' in his underwear making web-comics.

 

Ya know...It's true what they say...
Art is dead.
Don't look at me...I deedn't keel him!

 

Albert Hofmann. 101 years old. The father of lysergic acid diethylamide ... also known as LSD.
Professor Hofmann first synthesized the psychedelic in 1938.
His endeavors have led to personal and medical discoveries for over seventy years.
And if we could all just refrain from licking the back of the corpse, please.

 

http://www.stripcreator.com/forums/ showthread.php?postnum=259649
Oh, fudge! My 'humerous' is busted.
Dear God! Her humerous is busted. We need duct tape...STAT!
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/ Hatrix/430946
Egads! Get her clothes off! Where the hell is that duct tape!
No..wait...um..I just meant I'm suffering from writers block...
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/ Hatrix/430953/
No...no..you don't understand..and stop stealing my comic ideas...
That'll be a hundred bucks, please.

 

I can't wait for the next installment of the 'Wheel of Time' series. Robert Jordan is my all time favorite author!
I've been looking forward to the final novel after eighteen years of hanging onto my seat.
I'm sorry..um..but, Mr. Jordan passed away last September.
You BITCH!

 

Robert Jordan had only ONE more installment to go!How can you say he's dead?
What kinda Book Store is this? How will I get closure?
Well...rumour has it, he was almost finished writing it and he outlined the story enough to have it completed by another author.
FRAUD! MURDERER! Help! POLICE!
Well...THIS can't be good.

 

Lady, there's been a 'complaint.' Something about a 'dead author.'
Sir, it's just a great big misunderstanding.
I told a fan that his favorite author died before the final novel was completed.
So you admit there really is a body?
Oh...CRAP!

 

Mam, until we can get this 'dead author' fiasco cleared up...I'm going to have to take you down town.
But YOU'RE not even a real police officer. You're just a 'mall cop!'
You're not making this easy on yourself, are ya?
What will you do to me? Toss me in the Radio Shack?
Well, just at first. We need to fit you for a shock collar.

 

Hey...where's the boss?
You didn't hear? She told some customer that his favorite author died and the customer got snotty with her!
Now she's on the lam and wanted for murder.
I think there's something lost in that expository
Dibs on her laptop!

 

Hey! PSSssst! You hafta' help me. I run the Book Store next door.
Huh?
They think I killed Robert Jordan...
Sure, honey. Come on out. I'll help ya.
Thanks. It's crazy. Robert Jordan has been dead for almost a year.
Was it self defence? He beat you, didn't he? Poor girl. tsk-tsk

 

Thanks for the disguise..Now I can clear this mess up! I did not kill Robert Jordan!
Robert Jordan? Didn't he play basketball?
No...that was Michael Jordan.
Isn't Michael Jordan some kinda a super-hero or sometin'?
That's Hal Jordan. He is the Green Lantern.
Oh My GAWD! YOU KILLED THE GREEN LANTERN?

 

Somebody help! She after the Justice League!
I did not kill ROBERT Jordan...and now everyone will think I killed HAL Jordan, the Green Lantern.
Meanwhile...back at the Book Store.
Can I help you....EGADS! It's Lex Luthor, greatest criminal mind of the century!
Hello. I'm looking for a book on how to kill a Green Lantern.
I think it has a yellow cover.

 

I am here, live at the Book Store, where earlier today, the manager was accused of killing the late Robert Jordan.
-sob- She told me he died before finishing his series.
Tell me, Robert Jordan's 'Wheel of Time' series was only one volume from it's conclusion, correct?
It's TERRIBLE! The battle between the Dark One and the Light may NEVER end!
And you blame the Book Store Manager for this never ending war, correct?
Oh, yes! There are bodies EVERYWHERE!

 

Welcome back to Larry King where we are reacting to the fugitive at large and manager of the Book Store....
Larry, she did not kill Robert Jordan.
It has been reported that a deadly battle with the Justice League has left one member killed.
Larry, she did not kill HAL Jordan.
With me is the Assistant Manager- BiblioPhyllis, Princess of the Amazon.coms.
By all that is sacred. My boss DID NOT kill anyone named Jordan!Thanks for having me, Larry.

 
MOOOO, Dammit!

 
MOOOOOOOO! DDS anyone?

 
MOOOO! I'm inda house! Booya!

 

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My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father... Prepare to DIE!!!
STOP THAT! You have an unhealthy obsession quoting that darn movie!
Sorry, Mom.
Now you better hurry up and get going. You'll be late for work.
Have fun "schtorming" the castle!

 

Phyllis, isn't it true that your boss admits that Robert Jordan is dead?
Customers should not get upset with her for cicumstances outside of her controll.
I believe we have MICHAEL Jordan on the line. Michael?
NO! I am King Abdullah. I am appalled at this Book Store manager's defiance of all men named Jordan!
And the Hashemite Kingdom of JORDAN has declared war on the Book Store!
oh...Crap!

 

King Abdullah, I am placing myself in the Book Store and I am ready to dole out justice to the one striking terror against all that is Jordan.
Good. Good.
Do you have any last instruction for me, your excellency?
Yes. Yes.
Ask them if the last Harry Potter is out in paperback yet.

 

-sigh- Tis truely a sad day for Baskin Robbins Ice Cream.
Thankyou for attending the memorial of our founder, Irvine Robbins.
That must be him, eh? -sigh-
Yes, sir. He is lying in state between the Rocky Road and The Fuddy-Duddy Fruit Cup.
Please, sir. Only one taster spoon per mourner.

 

Listen carefully! You are in danger!
The United States Army has been ordered to assist you with evacuating the Book Store.
Is this because I mooned Bath & Body?

 

Whup-Whup-Whup-Whup-Whup-Whup-
OHMYGOSH! The staff of Bath & Body is after me!
Have you been mooning them again?
Whup-Whup-Whup-Whup-Whup-Whup-
It's bad. The Army is here. Chaos..I tell you...chaos!
Whup-Whup-Whup-Whup-Whup-Whup-
They're spritzing the mall with lavender and vanilla!
Did you put the theme to M*A*S*H in the store's sound system?

 

Welcome to Bath & Body. How can I help you.
I am looking for the one who usurps the name of Jordan.
Ohh! From the Book Store, are ya? Moon me, will ya? Take this!
-splutter splutter- kaff-kaff!
King Abdullah, she spritzed me with industrial strength rasberry bath-gel!
War is hell, soldier.

 

I was reading the forums on stripcreator and noticed it's BirthdayThread's birthday.
BirthdayThread does a lot of work to honor birthdays...
Fellow Stripcreators should spend one day a year returning the favor.
Unfortunatly, I really don't know much about her other than what I glom from the forums.
Well...I seem to recall something about breakfast pastries, we could...
Too late! Someone stole the emergency Pop Tart supplies.

 

Another slow day at the mall.
I hate it when it's slow. All the stores across from each other just stare at each other.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha -snort-
heh heh heh...hee hee!
You actually can't wait for them to moon you again, huh?
Yep! Gotta new staple gun!

 

I don't want to be interupted. I did not kill Robert Jordan!
Are you available for a phone call?
Is it important? I'm kinda busy.
He said it was a matter of clearing your name and reputation.
um...hello?
Are you happy with your current long distance service?

 

Why...no! I am unhappy with my current long distance service. Would you switch me over?
Yes...but let me record this conversation so I can provide you with the best service available.
Ready?
Yes.
Hope they play that one back at thier Christmas party.
-flush-

 

Ya know, when I was younger, I could reach into that river over there....
...and pull out a rooster every time. Nowday, all I pull out is fish.
Well, what do you expect? That's no Chicken-Spring.

 

Day five hundred and three:
Call me Susan. Call me Susan. Please call me Susan...
please, please, please call me Susan...oh, please...sigh
Hiya "Susan."

 

I'm still busy.
That salesman called back. He said he was disconected.
I am sick of taking unsolicited calls at work. They take time away from our job.
(bzzz-bzzz-bzzz...)
She want's you to call her at home.
Can I get her number?

 

What do you mean, you don't carry it?
Here it comes. He's gonna say it.
'Harry Potter and the Half Bottle of Pop' is a real book....
"You're a Book Store, Aintcha?" He's gonna say it. I just know it.
I'm the customer, ain't I?
Ooops..excuse me. I must be in the wrong comic strip.

 

Miss Jones, call the Better Mandingo people and set up a Mandingo meeting.
Yes, sir. Your accountant is on line two and says Mandingo is good, and you should put money back into the Mandingo.
Good, good! That reminds me, I changed my FAX number so I'll need new Mandingo cards made up.
Way ahead of you, sir. I just need you to check for spelling errors.
...and that's when he pulled out his penis.

 

Dear subscriber, Enclosed find one Afganistan Billy Goat.
This concludes your membership in the Goat of the Month Club. Thankyou for your business.
Surely you kid.

 

Don't worry, Professor Jones. I'll get you out of this cursed building of doom!
Hurry. Im not getting any younger, kid!
Aaaarrrrrrrg!
LOOK AT MY BOOBIES!
Uuuhhrg. Angelina Jolie...gasp..just flashed me and pushed me off the retirement building.
You lucky bastard!

 

Are you, Hatrix and mandingo having group sex together?
Well...not "sex," per say...."Stripcreatorsex."
Stripcreatorsex? Is that like cyber-sex?
Oh, no! Stripcreatorsex is is MUCH better!
It cums in your choice of one to three panels!
I can't wait to tell them about it!

 

What do you want for the fourth season of Corner Gas?
How about the third season of LOST?
Are you nuts? Television's LOST is worth a million times more than Corner Gas!
Well...what will you trade for Corner Gas?
Well...How about Hee Haw?
Hey! This is why the world hates you!

 

I can't paper train my new dog.
You gotta be rough. Every time he poops on the floor, swat his fanny and rub his nose in it.
The same thing happend with my brother.
Oh...does he shit on the floor too?

 

♫ Moon over Parma, bring my love to me tonight. ♫
♫ Guide her to Cleveland, underneath your silvery light. ♫
♫ We’re going bowlin’ so don’t loose her in Solon. Moon over Parma, tonight! ♫
Hey..PIG!

 

Hey, I thought you were in hiding.
I can not be held responsible for unfinished books and series.
But aren't you still being blamed for Robert Jordan's death?
I hired a public relations person to handle any further accusations.
He's dead. Get over it.

 

Oh dear. I seem to have sprung an erection.
Hey Spock, you gotta check this droid out.
Pardon me , sir. Have you seen a service droid around here?
"Square to spare?"
They installed one of those United States Senators in the Hall of Presidents!

 

When I was younger, I always wanted to read the 'Myth Adventure' series...but then I got distracted by medical school.
We carry those books.
Now that the author has passed away, I feel I missed out on a 'pun-tastic' series.
Well, let's start you out with 'Another Fine Myth' and 'Myth Conceptions.'
And these will help?
Take two Asprin, and call me at the mourning.

 

I don't know about this...I've never tried anything like it before.
Honey, you promised. It's always been a fantasy of mine.
But what do we need the whips, power drill, and kerosene for?
They're for showin' how much I love you.
welllll...okay.
...and remember, the saftey word is "Harder."

 

A poem:
Poor little Dickie, with whom the censors did tangle. Told them all to check thier Funk & Wagnalls.
I took his flower.
A clip:
Hey...you wanna get "bald?"
"You bet your sweet bippy!"
An innuendo:
Say goodnight, Dick.
"Goodnight, DICK!"

 

Hi, Mom.
Happy Towel Day, christopher seven!
Towel Day? Don't you remember what else this day is?
um....what?
Fortytwo years ago...You, me. ...Dad... Somebody's birthday!
Ooohh! That's right!Happy Birthday, mandingo!

 

This has been a Filmway presentation.
Sit Ubu, sit!
Will you stop looking at me!

 

Pa? I can't hear that song anymore.
What song is that, Opie?
That 'whistlin' song. You know, the one that drowns out the voices.
What voices are you hearin', son?
The voices telling me to bury the whistler.

 

Sydney Pollack walks into a bar...
Wait! I happen to be Polish!
No. No! SYDNEY POLLACK. He was a famous movie director.
Ohhhhhh.
But it WAS a fat bastard bar.

Showing page 25.

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