All comics by Boritom

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by Boritom
6-20-03
Die!
Die!
Aren't you dead yet?
Hurry up, my pizza's cold!

 

by Boritom
6-20-03
Humans have destroyed the Earth. We, the artificial Life Forms, shall rebuild this world and claim it as our own!
We shall clean up the atmosphere, restore the balance of nature...
We will build a new utopia of peace!
It will be an age of discovery ond prosperity!
And then... SODOMY!!!!!!
Tobor Cornhole you now!

 

by Boritom
6-20-03
Damare!
Dema ru!
Yaka mashi!
Urusai!
Urusai gaki!!!
Mocca-Mocca Su Su!

 

by Boritom
6-20-03
Hi, SukiYukiFumiko.
Hi, Butch.
Do you really speak Japanese?
Yes I do!
Do digata ni kazana ho akeruzou!
Tameguchi kitten ja ney o!

 

by Boritom
6-20-03
Turn back now, in the name of all that is holy!
Disregard this strip.
Yes, please... do not defile yourself by reading any further!
Don't waste your mind on this!
Please, for the love of God, stop now while you can!
This can only end badly!
You were warned!
She's going to say something stupid, gross and unfunny!
Baby chicks are crunchy, and continue wriggling as you swallow them!

 

by Boritom
6-20-03
Who the Hell are you?
It is I, Fucktard the Flatulent! Savior of all that is victim!
You can't even talk right!
Fear not, unbeliever, for I will not allow your opinion of me to stop me from protecting you from EVIL!
You are a cruelly loathsome oaf and a primitive, all-befouling atrocity to all of distinction and quality.
Fine... don't come whining to me when Cthulhu comes to feast upon your soul, asshole!

 

by Boritom
6-20-03
My good man, why, forsooth, look you so despondant, so sorrowful?
I just fount out I only have three days to live... I have a terminal brain cloud!
Slitting your wrists is not the answer, my Dear Fellow! You must confront the malady at it's source!
My God, You're right... what could I have been thinking?
Now then... isn't that better?
Oh... yesh... mush... preddy colorsh... mmmmnbngg... feh!

 

by Boritom
6-20-03
I think tubas are sexy!
I think tuba players are sexy!
I think people who find tuba players sexy are sexy.
$5, please!

 

by Boritom
6-20-03
Oh, great Fucktard the Flatulent, what can you do to save a poor, unfortunate Zombie?
Hmmm...
Nope, sorry pal. I got nothin'.

 

by Boritom
6-20-03
Fear not, young Asian child. Fucktard is here to save you!
From what?
The clutches of Eeeeevil!
Look, jerk, waddya want?
Ich möchte Ihre Brüste berühren
I don't have any breasts yet! Fuck off!

 

by Boritom
6-20-03
I Am, I said... To noone there...
And no one heard at all, not even the chair...
Almost as stiff and mechanical as the Real Neil Diamond. Nice going, Jackass!
Tobor no love?

 

by Boritom
6-20-03
Thou jarring tickle-brained barnacle!
I'm tired of smiling all the time.
Me too.
Thou puny elf-skinned nut-hook!
Let's stop smiling.
Okay.
Thou ruttish folly-fallen miscreant!
You start.
No, you first!

 

by Boritom
6-20-03
...if even that!
Poopsicle!
~giggle~

 

by Boritom
6-20-03
I don't believe it, 70 years of dedication to that studio, and they fucking FIRE us.
It's dispicable the way they treat cultural icons these days, isn't it?
We'll show them... We'll go work for the mouse! That'll teach those disloyal assfuckers!
Honestly, Pal, I don't think they'll hire you.
And why not, praytell?
The mouse don't hire bunnies who use words like "assfucker."

 

by Boritom
6-21-03
Earthling Lepus, prepare to be exterminated!
Ngyeeaah, What's up, Fuckstick?
Did you just call me "Fuckstick?"
I sure did, Assriver!

 

by Boritom
6-21-03
I'm not making any comics today.
Really?
That's right.
That's a relief!

 

by Boritom
6-24-03
Dream Sequence...
I am so in love with you, Adam... I want to be with you forever!
My Darling, nothing could make me happier.
I will be your anchor in the storm, the muse in your art...
My sweet, you already are!
Reality invades...
...but I kiss you after you eat me out...
I know... It's just... eww... Gross!

 

by Boritom
6-24-03
Wow... There really is nothing to see here!

 

by Boritom
6-25-03
Chapter One: The Gauntlet!
Cthulhu, o minion of Evil. I, Fucktard the Flatulent challenge thee to the ultimate battle of good over evil!
Yeah... Okay, whatever.

 

by Boritom
6-25-03
Chapter Two: Bloodletting!
Prepare to meet thy doom, evil one!
mmph... Whatever.
~nnnngggggggrrrr rrrrrzzzzzhhhhh hhhheeeeee...
Uhhh... What the fuck are you doing?
Wishing cancer on you... Just like Stern did to Imus!
Oh Brother!

 

by Boritom
6-25-03
Chapter Three: Gas Attack!
And now, I shall unleash upon you my most heinous secret weapon!
You're gonna fart on me, right?
I... errr...
Who told you?
Just a hunch.

 

by Boritom
6-25-03
Chapter Four: Redemption
This is it, Spawn of Satan! Prepare to Die!
Oh, Dearie Me!
~pffrrt~
Dork!

 

by Boritom
6-25-03
Chapter Five: Endgame
And Now, foolish mortal... I shall unleash upon You MY secret weapon! Wait right there!
Uh oh!
???
Ka-Zaah!
Aaaaaeeeiiiii!!!!

 

by Boritom
6-25-03
Epilogue
He he he he he... I thought you were flame retardant, jerkface!
I... I was... Cthulhu must have used his evil powers to disrupt the physical laws that protected me!
Hehehe... Well, Douchebag, consider yourself good and smacked-Down!
~pffrrt!

 

by Boritom
6-25-03
How much would you pay for this kind of quality...?
I can't believe my cable got cut off again!
$69.99? $99.99? Well, would you belive it's only 3 easy payments of $19.99?
Not to mention the fact that all the local stations have started showing infomercials after midnight!
And if you act now, we'll throw in this 57 piece Ginsu Knife, special "Slaughterhouse Edition" cutlery set...
What was that toll-free number again?

 

by Boritom
6-25-03
So, I understand that you're doing a webcomic about a "grey" living with a crotchety old dude with a secret passion for bad sci fi.
That's Correct.
And this alien's name is... ?
Boritom.
www.boritom.com goes LIVE in August!
Isn't that an anagram for "I'm Tobor?"
Shouldn't you be out giving someone an anal probe or something?

 

by Boritom
6-25-03
Boritom...
I'm Tobor!
You're a moron!
Waaaahhhh! Tobor sad...
Oh, crap... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you a moron.
Too late for apologies now... Tobor PISSED! Tobor Grudge-cornhole you now!

 

by Boritom
6-25-03
I kick you, bad squirrel!
Nice snatch!
Evil squirrel looky at my intimate cranny!
Your tits ain't bad either!
Stop the demeaning of my bodiments, evil squirrel!
God, this comic sucks big time. I'd have already left if you hadn't kept flashing your Kooch at me!

 

by Boritom
6-25-03
Hi, Holly... What's wrong? You look pissed.
Emiko. You is friend of mine with honor, no?
Uhhh... sure... I guess so... why?
Evil squirrel treat Holly with much disrespect. You put fire on him, kill squirrel with flame death pains, Okay, you go?
Uhhh... Holly, where the Hell are you from?
Holly is of the Chicago for birth, why?

 

by Boritom
6-25-03
Hiya, Sweets... What's shakin'?
Squirrel, I'm here to tell you that you need to leave Holly alone, and stop making crass comments about her body. It's very rude, and she's extremely offended!
No problem, Toots. I'll lay off the little whiney broad.
Thanks. I appreciate it.
She does have nice tits, though.
Yeah... and that little clam of hers is to DIE for, ain't it?

 

by Boritom
6-26-03
Suki has a bad head injury...
I like tacos y burritos!
She thinks she's Jennifer Lopez!
Ben Affleck es muy macho!
I'm thinking of killing her again!
¡No puedo creerme hice a esa criada estúpida en la película de Manhattan! ¡Debo hacer porno en lugar de otro!

 

by Boritom
6-26-03
This is getting ridiculous!
Wir abschaffen alle unwürdigen Leute von Deutschland!
Now she thinks she's Adolf Hitler!
Wir zerquetschen alle unreinen Rennen! Wir sind die Obersten Lehren des Universums! Abschaffen Sie! Abschaffen Sie!
...Or a German Davros... I'm not sure...
Ich bin eine kleine Teekanne, ein Kurzschluß und ein Stout. Ist hier mein Handgriff, ist hier mein anderer Handgriff... Scheiße, bin ich ein sugarbowl!

 

by Boritom
6-26-03
I've decided Ado... I mean, Suki, needs professional help...
Raum... die abschließende Grenze... ist das abschließende battleground für den dritten Reich!
I hate to resort to this, but she's left me little choice.
Ich trage Nippelrouge und Eva Brauns Schlüpfer. Ich liebe Kitteneingeweide in meiner Suppe!
Tobor Cornhole Suki, Now!
Lecken Sie meinen Esel, Microchipatem!

 

by Boritom
6-26-03
Feel better, Suki?
Yes, Emiko... Thank you!
Did you want to sit down?
No... Tobor ripped me up pretty good back there...

 

by Boritom
6-26-03
Now that Suki has been cured of her brain damage, there is something I want you all to see me say to her!
Well...?
I hate you with an all-consuming vitriolic bloodlust! I wish you would have your ovaries strangle you from inside.
Wow... You're really a cunt, aren't you!

 

by Boritom
6-26-03
Adam Confesses his stupidity...
...you see, I intended to create this really funny comic under the title "Tobor Cornhole Sucky Sucky SPLOOOGE!!!", but I accidentally hit the save button after fillinf in the title.
What in heaven's name is "SPLOOOGE!!!"?

 

by Boritom
6-26-03
This is kinda what I meant to do...
...and I was just, like, 'So?', and he just looks at me, like, 'So what?', so you know what I did?
No, what?
I bit him in half, and spit his entrails out all over his house... he he he... isn't that fucking Hilarious... HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!!
Well... not really. It's kinda gross.
Not much of an improvement, I know...
Man... What's happened to you? You've fuckin' Changed, Dude.
I'm a scientologist, now... things are just... different!

 

by Boritom
6-26-03
Are you sure?
Yup.
You wouldn't lie about this, right?
Nope.
Cool... I'll grab the strap-on, you find the lube!
Gotcha!

 

by Boritom
6-27-03
TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU NOW!!!
Sure, why not... It's legal!
Well SHIT! That takes all the fun out of it.
~sigh~

 

by Boritom
6-27-03
Oh.... shit!
Why did you kick me in the nuts, you stupid bitch?
I thought you were my ex boyfriend.
So you just fucking walk up and nail my nads???
What the fuck am I thinking?
He called me a "Cumdumpster" once.
I'm not sure what that means, but once the throbbing stops, you better be ready to fuck me!

 

by Boritom
6-27-03
We both look like little Asian girls.
Yes... we are short, have childlike faces, and no visible mammory glands!
The fact is, I'm 28 years old!
And I'm not even a girl!
Too many beers... 100 years
By the way... Strom Thurmond is dead!
Bob Hope's next, the hairless fuckwad!

 

by Boritom
6-27-03
Tobor Cornhole you NOW!
No, Tobor cornhole YOU Now!
Uhh...
Err...
Okay, which of us is the evil twin?
How should I know? Robots can't grow goatees!

 

by Boritom
6-27-03
Hi... I'm looking for my son.
Really? What's his name?
Anal.
°°°°
Thus, the saga begins...
You got issues, Man!

 

by Boritom
6-27-03
Santa... It is I, Fucktard the Flatulent, here to assist you in bringing joy and happiness to all the boys and girls of the world!
Uhhh... well... you know it's July, right?
Well, there's no time like the present when it comes to making children happy!
Look, Son... I know you mean well and all, but I'm about to start my vacation in Miami, and...
Vacation? How can you think of vacation when there are unhappy children in the world?
For the love of God, FUCK OFF!!!

 

by Boritom
6-27-03
Roight, Mate. I'm givin' you to the count 'o three, then Oi'm gonna blow yer woggy 'ead off!
You cannot hurt me, o naiive Kangaroo with gun, for I am Evil Giant Fly!!!
Roight... So wots so bluddy evil abotcha?
Errr... well...
Yes...?
I cheat on my taxes... ~sigh~

 

by Boritom
6-27-03
So, Fucktard... I, UberMan, want to offer you a position as my sidekick, my flatulent Tard Wonder as it were.
That's very nice of you, UberMan, but I prefer to work solo.
You'll get a really nice cape, and some superpowers!
What do I need all that for, when I've got my superlong Quantuum Sphincter of Amazing Stench?
That's not much of a superpower thingy, though...
Did I mention it doubles as a can opener?

 

by Boritom
6-27-03
One more strip, and Adam will have made 150 strips here on stripcreator.com
Yes, Emiko. And what does he win for hitting 150?
Drumroll, please?
Bhumdmdm dmdmdmdmd mdmdmdmd mdmdmdm
Hey... a guy's gotta have goals!
A pound of Jack, and a ton of Shit!
Fo shizzle, my nizzle!

 

by Boritom
6-27-03
Well, Linda, This is it! My Big 150th Strip here on stripcreator! Aren't you excited?
I sure am, Adam. I know you have a great strip planned for your 150th strip!
You know it sweety! Full of action, suspence... And a great payoff In the last panel!
I can hardly wait! The tension is so palpable, you can feel it on the air... Let's Watch what happens!
Oh, for crying out loud!
TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU ALL, NOW!!!
Me love you long time, G.I. Joe. Sucky Sucky, $5! Me good time girl, yes?

 

by Boritom
6-28-03
So... that was Adam's 150th strip, eh?
Yes it was, Lamp. That was his big numero One-Five-Ohhh!
Yup
Mmm Hmmm
Any plans for #200?
I'm leaving town until he either dies or is permanently banned from Strip Creator!

 

by Boritom
6-30-03
Hey, Linda. How's it going?
Pretty good. I didn't know you worked here.
Yeah... it pays the bills... sorta. What can I get ya?
I'll take a Double Meat, Double cheese, schmorgarama, with large fries, Giant Coke, and a DoubleFudge Sundae.
Did you and Adam split up or something?
Nah... This is the one day a month I actually allow myself to ingest solid food.

Showing page 3.

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