All comics by Rocketlex2000

 

by Rocketlex2000
1-31-04
Well, here we are. Man, phpBB is so great.
I think we'll feel right at home, here.
I just wonder what will become of our old EZboard...
I doubt anything major will happen to it.
Two months later, on the old EZboard...
Doesn't this seem rather hollow, Master Falco X?
No, this is one of the few things which makes me happy. Now, keep smashing!

 

by Rocketlex2000
2-02-04
Corporate America, as seen by The Board...
Hey, ready to crush the souls of the innocent to make money?
Sure! What moral depravity can we suck sweet, sweet profits from, today?
Let's kidnap Mexican kids, grind them into a pulp, put their meat into pill form and sell it as a weight loss supplement.
I'll start paying off the police, courts, and FDA right now.
Oh, and we needn't bother with knocking the kids out or anything. Just throw them right into the machine.
Can we tape-record their screams? I need a good chuckle now and then.

 

by Rocketlex2000
2-02-04
How's it going, Officer Lou?
I'm superfluous as ever. I continue to enforce laws which the world would arguably be a better place without.
Listen, if my company were to kill Mexican kids in order to make a quick buck, would you be willing to look the other way?
As long as you pay me enough, sure. I live to be corrupt and oppressive.
Hey, a minor! Hang on, I want to unfairly persecute you for a minor infraction in order to boost my own sense of self-worth.
I'm having a little TOO much fun...

 

by Rocketlex2000
2-02-04
No blood for oil, man! Oppose the US invasion of Iraq!
Okay, how?
What do you mean?
You told me to oppose what we're doing in Iraq. I asked you how I would go about doing that.
Well, first you have to make a sign with a peace symbol on it...
I think I'll go rebel somewhere else.

 

by Rocketlex2000
2-03-04
Rocketlex talks about his past...
Wait, you're saying that YOU have a deep emotional scar? You seem so well adjusted.
To the naked eye, yes. But there was this one time...
"When I was nine, I stayed up late one night and saw this anime come on. I liked cartoons, so I stuck with it."
You are Tentikon's slave, now!
Oh, such power! I submit to you.
Okay, you don't need to finish that story.
Needless to say I never looked at Digimon the same way, again.

 

by Rocketlex2000
2-04-04
I had the coolest idea, today.
Really? Let's hear it.
Okay, it's a watch with Jesus on the cross depicted on its face. Jesus' arms move to tell you the time.
But, if he's crucified...how could he move his arms?
He's freakin' JESUS! He can do what he wants.
I predict lightning in this area...

 

by Rocketlex2000
2-08-04
Wow. It looks like people really liked that picture of me. Time to take it to the next level...
Hello, ladies.
Dear God, my eyes!
What? Are you overcome by my raw masculinity or something?
Just keep telling yourself that.

 

by Rocketlex2000
2-14-04
Are you planning on getting Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles?
Nah. The multiplayer element seems way too prohibitive.
Well, everyone does have to bring their own GBA...
And they all have to have those connection cords. No, thank you.
Anyway, you ready for our Halo LAN party?
You bet. Help me get my TV out of the car.

 

by Rocketlex2000
2-25-04
Do you find yourself getting addicted to webcomics and flash animations?
Does stumbling upon a new internet cartoon cause you to waste hours compulsively viewing them all?
Trust me when I say I've been there. The Bob and George comic alone caused me to walk away three hours later with a headache and terrible eye strain.
Now there's help. At the Rocketlex Internet Entertainment Addiction Prevention Facility Center, we will teach you to take these things in small doses and maybe even ignore them.
Just call 1-800-5-ROCKET
No case is hopeless. Call us now. We can help you lead a better life.
Strawberry Clock is the King of the...no...use control.....

 

by Rocketlex2000
2-26-04
And thus the new Board was plunged into a massive civil war.
From the rolling hills of Gimdinton to the large tower thing of Woogytopia (that thing in their banner,) the war raged all over the Cabinet Noir area.
Unfortunately, due to the lack of any real purpose to the hostilities, many outsiders found it difficult to grasp the appeal of such goings on.
Freakin' bunch of loonies...

 

by Rocketlex2000
2-29-04
Got any new games?
No, but I'm planning to get .hack//INFECTION soon.
What is that, anyway?
It's a simulated MMORPG in which you pretend to have fantasy interactions with the fictional avitars of people who don't really exist.
I'm going to go kill myself, now.
I hear the people are very realistic.

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-03-04
From nothingness I call the spirits of creation. Through them, a new land is formed in my image. It is a land in which I am supreme.
I am the master of this new realm. Nay, I am its God. My soul becomes caught in a battle with itself as I fight not to abuse this new power. Am I...strong enough?
For cryin' out loud, you just got a message board for your stupid comic strip.
DANCE, MY PUPPETS, DANCE!!!

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-04-04
Rocketlexington
Wheee....

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-08-04
AN ADVENTURE IN LEGO
Now, this LEGO is one of which I am particularly fond. We just got some, today. It's a clear, three-by-two tall piece which...
VGX, is there something you've been hiding from us?
Please look away. I...I don't want you to see me like this...

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-11-04
Here's a brief recap of last night, in case you missed it.
Must...kill....Noir...
Where'd all our boards go?
Make me an admin!
Your vote doesn't count, Rocketlex.
Who are you?

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-30-04
Hi there, kids. I'm Internet Izzy!
And I'm Rick. We're here to tell you about software piracy.
"Software pirates are bad people who like to steal money from your favorite recording artists. What they do is only a notch below armed robbery. If you share files, you deserve to end up in jail."
Arrrrr, I steal ye software!
And if we can't get you thrown in jail, we have other ways of making you suffer. After all, it would be a shame if something were to happen to your family...
Cross us and you will know true pain!

 

by Rocketlex2000
4-06-04
(Did you know that Board City is closely based on a Japanese webcomic called Let's Talk: Action Forum? Here's a translation of one of their strips...)
My heart, there is the love for Pokemon.
I am a hater of the Pokemon.
KYAAAA!! I am transform, the anger!
Will there be fight?
I am ashamed of how you see me.
You are a fool.

 

by Rocketlex2000
4-14-04
And now for Power News 5, broadcasting on March 8, 2XXX.
Hello, I'm Dob Halbard, and now for tonight's top stories.
"Looking to make good on their 2XXX release date, Nintendo revealed new footage for Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker 2. It is expected to come out for the Nintendo UltraStar some time this fall."
"In other news, hostilites continued between the Krallatarians and the Droid Army of Zalbross XIII, today..."

 

by Rocketlex2000
4-29-04
Rocketlex, I...Oh my God!
No, I'm alright...
Don't lie to me. Macintosh has been hitting you, again, hasn't it?
It's a good operating system once you get to know it. We just...We got into this fight about me wanting to play City of Heroes and...
Rocketlex, someday you're going to have to get out of this relationship.
But we already have so many files between us, do you really want me to move them away from their home?

 

by Rocketlex2000
5-14-04
Live from E3
Welcome to Board City's E3 Coverage Special. Starting off with a bang, we have here Shigaru Miyamoto.
That's a nice blue shirt...blue...How about a game in which anything the color blue damages your character...?
Mr. Miyamoto, you have come up with some of the most original concepts ever seen in gaming. How do you do it?
This magnifying glass can focus things....focus.....How about a game in which you use a lens to focus psychic energy in the direction and shape you desire...
Yeah, I think we understand, now.
That man is wearing a bear suit...bear suit...How about a game in which you don different animal costumes which give your character special attributes? Brilliant!

 

by Rocketlex2000
5-16-04
Still at E3
Welcome back to our continuing coverage of E3. We have with us Bill Gates to talk about the future of X-Box.
Hello.
What new innovations are planned for the X-Box in the coming year?
Screw innovation. Expect plenty of explosions, shooting, and blood on our system. Oh, and there'll be hot women, too...in tight-fitting outfits.
You certainly know your audience...
YOU CANNOT RESIST! DANCE FOR ME, MY PUPPETS!

 

by Rocketlex2000
5-17-04
More from E3
Welcome back to Board City at E3. We have with us, today, a representative from Sony. Now, we-
The PSP is going to be awesome!
Yes, I'm sure it will be. Now, about the Playst-
The PSP will be the greatest handheld system ever!
That's great. Anyway, about the future of the Playstat-
Did I tell you about the PSP? Let's talk about the PSP some more.

 

by Rocketlex2000
5-17-04
Board City at E3
Continuing our coverage, we have here a representative of Squaresoft. Now, what can you tell us about Final Fantasy XII?
Its combat system has many similarities to that of FFXI.
Moving on...
Hey, don't you wanna hear about the plot?

 

by Rocketlex2000
5-22-04
Well, that's it for our E3 coverage.
*ahem*
Things are just starting to wind down here and...
Sir, the show has been over for about a week, now. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Give me a demo of Rumble Roses and I'll go.

 

by Rocketlex2000
5-26-04
Dude, America sucks. We're needlessly occupying Iraq, destroying the environment, forgetting what little cultural heritage we have and still keeping minorities down.
So, you see nothing good about America, as it is?
No, at this point we've become a nest of sin and gluttony. No silver lining, just ignorant rednecks stuffing their bodies with mass-produced and pre-packaged garbage for all etenity.
Is that true, or are you just being a jackass who only sees the negative?
Hey, this is a free country. I can say what I want.

 

by Rocketlex2000
6-06-04
Big corporations are taking over America, man!
Is that so?
Yeah, man. We got Wal-Marts coming in all over the place and wiping out local businesses.
While providing a wider selection of products at a lower price and offering a new collection of generally-unskilled jobs to the typically poor suburban comminities?
I hate people with money.
Admitting it is the first step.

 

by Rocketlex2000
6-07-04
Okay, so it's come to my attention that my comics have been SUCKING, lately.
The reason appears to be an an inability for me to keep my mouth shut on issues I don't understand.
"In an effort to correct the problem, I'm going to start doing more comics based on The Board."
I got a call from VGX, last night. He threatened me with legal action.
Whoa. Why would he do someting like that?
"Arguably, this is what I should have been doing all along. I'll leave the social commentary to those people willing to do actual research."
Heh heh. Any excuse to use my new Lego phone.

 

by Rocketlex2000
6-08-04
Once upon a time, there was a boy named VGX who always threatened legal action when he didn't get his way.
Stop using the name "Khakain," or I'll file charges against you!
Oh, snap! Really?
He never filed charges, though, and eventually the townspeople realized that he was just being a jackass.
Yeah so...stop calling my house or I'll...sue Zman or something.
We've heard THAT one, before.
And so, while the townspeople were distracted by VGX's idiocy, they were all destroyed by robotic supersoldiers from the planet Grentulec. The End
Perish, human!

 

by Rocketlex2000
6-16-04
Rokkuman Productions presents Board City: The Movie! See all the ACTION...
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM!
AAAHHHH!!!
...all the DRAMA...
What did VGX say to you, Zman? Tell me the truth.
You can't handle the truth!
...and the incredible, twisting PLOTLINE!!!
With this Candace Larren hologram, we'll have the Khakainers eating out of the palms of our hands.
And then...THE WORLD WILL BE OURS SOMEHOW!!!

 

by Rocketlex2000
6-26-04
I've decided to become a social commentator.
How?
It's easy. Just pick a topic which people are already mad about, then give them more reasons to be angry. What angers you?
Umm...drunk driving.
Well, did you know that, despite all the deaths from drunk driving in the past fifty years, beer companies CONTINUE to put alcohol into their products?
Those bastards! They'll do anything to make a profit!

 

by Rocketlex2000
8-11-04
Wanna go watch TV in the lounge?
Can't; someone ripped the power button off it last Monday.
We could use the remote.
No can do, someone smashed the remote signal receptor with a hammer last night.
On second thought, I might feel safer away from the lounge area.
We expect the screen to be gone by the weekend.

 

by Rocketlex2000
8-18-04
Look at me! I have three frames of animation and I can move without using any of them.
I'm cute, but I cuss people out because that's so ******* edgy.
Now I'm triggering random explosions; LAUGH AT ME, DAMN YOU!
Laugh, you *******.
So, do people actually enjoy these Adult Swim cartoons?
Now I'm shooting people! See? Funny!

 

by Rocketlex2000
9-01-04
Through the internet, many minds join together. Thoughts and experiences are exchanged freely.
If these minds could shed their physical selves, they might become one. They would be an over-being of collective ideas. In a sense, they would become a God...
...with the mind of a five-year-old.
I had sex with my girlfriend; wanna see a picture of her?

 

by Rocketlex2000
9-21-04
I'm working on a Board City RPG.
Really? How far along are you?
So far I still need music, backgrounds, enemies, attacks, maps, dialouge, graphics and gameplay.
So...what HAVE you done?
I seriously attempted to make a sprite a couple days ago...
Let me know how that works out for you.

 

by Rocketlex2000
10-17-04
Rocketlex's House
Is that Michael Jackson?
Where?
On that game you're playing. Is that Michael Jackson?
No, this is the new Van Helsing game.
Oh, nevermind.
Easy mistake to make.

 

by Rocketlex2000
10-21-04
I'm trying to use Anvil Studio to make MIDIs but...it's hard if you don't know much about how music is written.
How's it coming?
Well, what're...what're those things that are...like...sets of notes...between two horizontal lines?
Measures?
Right! I've done two of those so far!
Okaaaay...that's a start...

 

by Rocketlex2000
10-23-04
You know, in the future, our brains might be enhansed by computer chips.
I heard about this. Frankly, it scares me.
Why?
Well, I'm just sure some people will take it farther than others...
The Board: 2063
How's it going, Dunk?
Perfectly, thank you.

 

by Rocketlex2000
11-20-04
Why the hell am I watching this?
Hi Hi Puffy Amiyumi...GO!
This has to be the most annoying and unoriginal cartoon I've seen in a long time...
We sing rock songs and we have some fun! Time to jam in front of everyone!
Three hours later
I swear, I'm changing the channel in FIVE MINUTES!
Hi Hi Fight Go Rock Jam Fun Yeah!!

 

by Rocketlex2000
11-23-04
...so I need someone to hack my campus computer network and change the due date on my assignment.
Relax, leave it to me.
You think you can handle it?
Don't you worry about a thing.
Two days later...
Could you explain to me why my transcript now lists me as taking "Advanced Retardation?"
How much would changing it back be worth to you?

 

by Rocketlex2000
12-04-04
VGX's House
I'm so sick of that music next door...
Two can play at this game. Where are my CDs?
Next Door
What the hell is that song your neighbor is playing?
It's called One Winged Angel. Look, I don't know him.

 

by Rocketlex2000
1-18-05
Hello, icezombie37, I am Ranger3045, but you would know me as Eldarath, level 45 Black Mage.
Recently, you joined my party bound for the Sorlac Mines. It was to be a grand venture which would surely have brought us all great wealth and experience.
During a fight with a troll, you shot me with an arrow, mortally wounding me. Though you passed it off as an accident, your accuracy stat of 275 suggests otherwise.
I cannot let this act go unpunished. On your honor I challenge you to a PvP duel at midnight in the square of Rolias...on the Aqua server.
You actually said, "On your honor?"
I hope he knew I meant East Coast time...

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-06-05
Board City has been getting old and stale recently.
In an effort to keep an audience, I've decided to completely bastardize it...much as Warner Bros. is doing with Loony Tunes.
Expect lots of hip, happening vernacular which was current in the early 90s.
Gnarly, man. This forum is so awesome to the EXTREME!
Step off, dude. You are so trippin'.
There'll be lots of action and excitement...but not without lessons for the kids.
Remember Billy, it's only right to hurt people if they're robots and don't have blood.
Awesome.

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-08-05
Greetings, human. I am Gildroin of the Krallath-Takkan warship. We have come about the theft of the name Khakain.
What? You mean VGX is recruiting aliens now?
Who is this VGX you speak of?
...Uh...the guy who came up with the name Khakain, obviously.
To be continued...
You fool, "Khakain" is the name of our home planet. He stole that name from us!
Somehow I'm not surprised by this.

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-09-05
We demand that you surrender your domain name at once.
Why do you even want it?
We wish to create a website to proclaim our upcoming invasion. That site will be called khakain.com after our glorious home world.
Couldn't you call it khakaininvasion.com or khakainplanet.com or something?
Perhaps, but I think Mr. Laser would rather call it khakain.com if you don't mind.

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-09-05
I warn you, I have no problems with killing humans.
Don't bother. I'm way too much of a coward to be a threat to you.
Well then, perhaps you'd be of more use to me as a hostage.
Nah, I don't think anyone here would notice I was gone.
Ummm...Is there anyone else here I could talk to?
You could enslave me, but I don't have much upper-body strength.

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-09-05
Human, I demand that you relinquish your current domain name at once. The one you call VGX stole it from us.
What?
Yes, VGX is a human we abducted many years ago for mind-stanning. We chose him because we felt he was a perfect example of a typical, sane human being.
Later, back aboard the Krallath-Takkan...
So how'd it go?
Humans laugh as an expression of extreme terror, right?

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-11-05
So, what are we going to do?
We really have two options.
What's the first?
We sue them via their human courts on grounds which are flimsy at best, hoping to at least score a moral victory.
At what point in that plan to we get to watch a planet explode?
That brings me to the second option...

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-11-05
(This is a holographic communication. These two are really lightyears apart. Cool, eh?)
Commander Qezyx, I request permission to destroy the planet known as Earth.
You mean...the planet we were going to invade?
Sir, this is a crisis situation. We need to act immediately.
And planets blow up real good!
Get off the line, Terridex. You aren't helping.

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-17-05
High Command says we can't blow up the Earth.
Well, there goes my day.
We could always just go on a massive killing spree.
Should we run that by High Command, as well?
Nah, let's just go. Do you know how much paperwork we would have to deal with to get a killing spree approved?
You say that as though I need convincing.

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-18-05
So, in the middle of this little series I've been doing, it seems our board's had some sort of problem with 4chan or something.
You're probably expecting a Board City strip on that, but you won't be getting one.
The reason is that, honestly, I don't know what's going on and, moreover, I don't want to know.
Glad to get that issue settled. Anyway...
We now return to our regularly scheduled strip, already in progress.
Why didn't you bring a laser gun?
I don't have arms.

Showing page 3.

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