All comics by The_Kingpin

Profile

 

by The_Kingpin
8-05-04
Hi. Welcome back to our teleraiser.
We hope you enjoyed our commercials. But, we still need money for our beloved celebrity third homes. Please donate money so they can keep it.
It doesn't matter that people are starving on the streets. OPRAH NEEDS MORE $25OO SHEETS, YOU GREEDY MONSTERS!

 

by The_Kingpin
8-05-04
I'm so glad you were able to find a babysitter at the last minute, darling.
Yes, we're really lucky that Stupid Joe was available.
STUPID JOE? Oh no! You left the baby with Stupid Joe?
Sure, why not? What could possibly go wrong?
So, you're a girl scout and you want to take the baby to your troupe for show and tell?

 

by The_Kingpin
8-06-04
Hi, I'm Ricky Williams.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-10-04
I think I'll type in random things.
Hmm.....Wal-Mart's nickname is Wally World, so, I'll try that.
I typed in www.wallyworld.com and it took me to a gay porn site.
My eyes are burning! My eyes are burning!

 

by The_Kingpin
8-11-04
I was in a Yahoo chatroom with one other person and decided to leave.
Well, I guess I'm going to go for now. Bye. *exits*
You bastard! I hope God makes you die a horrible death! You mother fucker! Bye.
Loser.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-11-04
I had sex with your mothers at the same time.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-11-04
Oops, someone dropped the soap. Don't worry, I'll pick it up.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-11-04
Hey! My pet rat got loose in the kitchen!

 

by The_Kingpin
8-11-04
I support the American Government!

 

by The_Kingpin
8-11-04
I hope you're as good in bed as you're sister.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-16-04
Hey Justin, what was that site you were just looking at?
It was www.christianexodus.org
Oh. What is it?
This dude is like trying to get Christians in America to join the organization, move to South Carolina, and secede by 2016.
Some people are just ignorant.
Sounds like a cult to me.
Get this, I signed the guestbook saying just that and even wrote something from the Bible pointing to that. They said they were going to put it under "Hate Mail".

 

by The_Kingpin
8-17-04
Enough fucking around Vinnie. Ya gots the Don's money or whut? It ain't good ta keeps the Don waiting ya know. I don't wants ta havta bust ya balls.
Gulp* Um I-I-I don't have the Don's money b-b-but maybe I can repay him some other way?
Hmmm...
Uh-oh
Sure, it's called the Life Payment.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-17-04
Hey, should I have put this guy to sleep first?

 

by The_Kingpin
8-17-04
Hi Earthling.
An alien! Are you about to abduct me?
No.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-17-04
Hi, I'm a representative of the RIAA. I believe you phoned us to report a hive of downloaders?
Download this.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-17-04
Stop right there, evil fiend! I have come to put an end to your zapping extravaganza!
Too friggin' bad.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-17-04
Hey, it's Jesus!
Welcome to the Gates of Heaven. To get in, you must tell me what you did on Earth in my name.
I started this organization, gathered thousands of Christians, and moved us to South Carolina to seperate us from sinners. I'm glad I was able to do your will.
When did I tell you it was my will?
It's True, Ya Know.
Haven't you read the Bible? I said to GO INTO THE WORLD AND MAKE DISCIPLES OF THEM! Not for Christians to live in their own little world.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-18-04
"Dear Sir: Whatever You Do....Don't Turn Around." Well, that's the strangest letter I've ever read.
Heh heh.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-19-04
Man, this keg party is totally rad.
Dude, no one has used that since the 80s.
Um...
This keg party is gnarly?
*sigh*

 

by The_Kingpin
8-20-04
Oh no! The plane's going down! I have to get out of here. Thank goodness I have magical powers.
Zim zab walla wanna bing bang!
Oh...that's right, I just came from the Harry Potter convention.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-20-04
What You Hear....
Blonde hair, blue eyes, triple D breasts, and tan? This girl sounds hot!
The Vastness of the Internet

 

by The_Kingpin
8-23-04
You know, I need to go on a diet. I'm going to try that new diet I heard about.
Ok, good luck on it. I'll check back in on you to see how you're doing tomorrow.
The Next Afternoon...
I think the diet worked too well.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-23-04
May The Force Be With You.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-23-04
Are we on? Yeah, we are. Hello Earth!
Guess where we are right now!
If you guessed the 7-11, you're an idiot. Rather, we're on the moon!
That's correct. I'm sure you're wondering why we're doing this. Some say we never went to the moon, but, we're here to prove we have!
Yep. There's the flag that Neil Armstrong planeted, some moon stuff, the director of this film...er...more moon dust!
I hate you.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-25-04
Guess my work here is finished.

 

by The_Kingpin
9-06-04
Based On Actual Events
Finally, Friday! What are you doing over the weekend?
I have to watch a piece of fruit for an hour and then write a two page essay based on my experience.
What the hell?

 

by The_Kingpin
9-06-04
I love the RIAA!!

 

by The_Kingpin
9-07-04
Yo boy, want to take one of my beyotches for the night?
Hmm.....
No.

 

by The_Kingpin
9-08-04
Ok, I'm in prison for life. This may not be too bad.
I'll never have to pay taxes, buy my own food or clothes, and I'll always have a place to sleep. What's the worst that could happen?
Hi, I'm your new cellmate. Say, can you pick up that bar of soap for me?

 

by The_Kingpin
9-13-04
Hi country. Tonight, we have a special interview with none other than Oprah!
Let's go to our field operative, Barry Well.
I'm Barry Well with Oprah. Oprah, I hear you're going to spend a lot of money today on something special.
That's right, Barry.
What might that be? Using some of your billions to help the poor? Feed the hungry? Save sick children in a third world country?
Of course not. I'm going to spend it on something more important...new cars for everyone in my audience!

 

by The_Kingpin
9-13-04
Oh great. It's a homeless person.
Spare some change, lady?
Sorry, I don't have any to spare right now. I'm on my way to the store.
Going to buy some food, huh? I wish I could.
Actually, no, I'm on my way to buy more $2500 bedsheets.
Bitch.

 

by The_Kingpin
9-23-04
Ok, what I'm proposing is that we make it illegal for businesses to allow child porn sites to be viewed during office hours.
Sounds good to me. The judge still has to rule on it though.
I wouldn't worry about it. This will surely pass into law.
You're right!
Later With The Judge
Law banning child porn websites in businesses? What trash is this? Overruled!

 

by The_Kingpin
10-03-04
Welcome Jesus!
Booting MANKIND.exe
MANKIND.exe cannot boot. File corrupted. Please delete.

 

by The_Kingpin
10-03-04
Mr. President, we've received a new virus that's completely destroyed every file of known filesharers we intended to sue.
Drats! How am I going to fill my pockets with money now? What kind of monster would do a thing like this?
Elsewhere In Justin's Room
What? Why are you looking at me like that?

 

by The_Kingpin
10-18-04
In The Beginning, God Created The Universe
A Couple Thousands Years Later, The Human Race Needed Help
Jesus Went Back Up To Heaven, And Much Like The Terminator, He'll Be Back.

 

by The_Kingpin
10-19-04
Hey, someone get the marshmallows!

 

by The_Kingpin
10-19-04
Oh great! We died and went to hell! How long do we have to stay?
Satan said if I kept asking, he'd let us go now. If I quit now, an eternity. I was bored so I quit asking.
You're an idiot.

 

by The_Kingpin
11-03-04
Hey Senator Kerry! It's me, George. Guess where I'm calling from!
Damn it.

 

by The_Kingpin
11-03-04
Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

 

by The_Kingpin
11-04-04
I bet my threats of blood running in the streets and bombing states that support President Bush worked.
I will finally be rid of that man! I best turn on the television and see how much this John Kerry won because of the American cowards.
....I'm screwed.
John Kerry has conceded the presidency to President Bush.

 

by The_Kingpin
11-10-04
I think I'm getting seasick.
You can't be.
Why?
This is a comic.
So?
The ship isn't moving dumbass.

 

by The_Kingpin
11-10-04
Oh no! Not Hell! This is terrible!
Santa? What Are you doing here?!
Well....
Let's just say I know where all the bad girls live.

 

by The_Kingpin
11-10-04
Oh yeah! You're mine now!
Ha! This game sure was simple, especially the final boss.
Why is he playing with the television off?

 

by The_Kingpin
11-12-04
I'm Barry Well. Behind me is a scene of mass carnage and mayhem. Cats living with dogs, Republicans and Democrats getting along, it is a world gone mad.
Jim, how did this riot start?
Well....
Actually, I have no idea.

 

by The_Kingpin
11-24-04
So, you see, we all evolved from apes. It's simple, really.
Oh ok. Thanks for telling me.
Hey, one more thing.
What?
Want to go out with me?
I don't date apes.

 

by The_Kingpin
12-01-04
Welcome to the new International News brought to you by Emperor Justin the Dominator.
After being crowned complete ruler of Earth, his first order was to cancel every reality tv series forever.
Hmm....he's not that bad after all.

 

by The_Kingpin
12-08-04
Dude, college rocks.
I agree with you there! Man, when they brought out those gigantic kegs and the pot was passed out, that was totally awesome!
Hey, pass the joint.
Here ya go.
The fact that people like us are the future of the world.

 

by The_Kingpin
12-08-04
The Kingpin would like to announce to pay no attention to the previous strip. He says he completely screwed it up. Thank you nd goodbye.

 

by The_Kingpin
12-10-04
It's lunch time. What should I eat?
Well Bob, we can always go to that diner nearby.
Nah, too expensive. Hey, aren't you a squirrel?
....Yeah?
*Gulp*

 

by The_Kingpin
12-13-04
Super Eye, I need your help.
What's the problem?
Someone is blackmailing me with naughty photos! I need you to find out who it is!
Naughty, huh? Would you like to see the negatives of your pictures?

Showing page 3.

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