All comics by bigworm

Profile

 

by bigworm
3-25-10
Can we get together?
Can you get cleaned up?
Think you could hold your head up?
I suppose you want me to get a hard-on now?

 

by bigworm
3-27-10
Goddamn it!
What?
You know I can't eat guacamole!

 

by bigworm
3-27-10
I AM A MAN OF THE CLOTH!
Can I borrow your hanky?
I AM A MAN OF THE WORD!
Which word is that?
HALLELEUJAH!
*shluck shlurrp*...gee, what a surprise... *gag gurk*!!!

 

by bigworm
3-27-10
I've joined a site...'stripcreator'. There are some users with good reputations. I was thinking of a username which would play off of one of them...I would call myself... 'MANBINGO'! Is that okay?
No, that is not okay! Be yourself, accept who you are. Do not ride on the coat-tails of another.
I guess I'll just go with my original idea for a username...
...'DOMESTICATEDDOGWOMAN'

 

by bigworm
3-27-10
Say, do you mind if I use you for target practice?
You might as well...
...everybody else does.

 

by bigworm
3-27-10
Say, do you mind if I piss in your mouth?
Can I spray some Binaca in my mouth first?
No!
Well, go on ahead then...
...what with everybody shittin' on me all the time.

 

by bigworm
3-28-10
Just a minute here! Didn't I already take your application?
No.
Are you sure?
Yeh...
...and my mother never got fucked!

 

by bigworm
3-28-10
So... your mother never got fucked, huh?
That's right.
How could that be?
I don't know...
...you tell me?

 

by bigworm
3-28-10
Your arms are a little too skinny, and your slump isn't really convincing enough.
...oh.
I'm afraid I can't really use you right now.
...but I really need the job.
Well, tell me then... do you have any experience at all being born to a mother that never got fucked?
...I was afraid you were going to ask that.

 

by bigworm
3-31-10
Hello?
Hello, who's calling?
Mr. Lizzy Borden.
Ha Ha Ha. That's very funny.
Can I hack your brain?
Sure, just don't hack my computer please.

 

by bigworm
3-31-10
Another bad report huh? I'm not gonna' tell you not to beat yourself up about it this time, considering what you did to yourself last time.
In fact, you're telling me what not to do by telling me you're not going to tell me about it. You're sort of like a benevolent passive/aggressive granpa, and I'm the surrogate grandson.
No, I'm not speaking down to you. Age plays no part in what I'm saying to you. I was merely...
I'm already feeling better about it. I'm not going to beat myself up over this fucking issue again.
Wonderful.

 

by bigworm
4-02-10
Hey dad, you know that stuff about you and me being 'ONE'?
Of course I know about it, what's your point?
Well... I was thinkin' maybe, since that's the way you say it is, that we could switch positions?
Sure.
Anything else I can do for you?

 

by bigworm
4-02-10
Oh Father... why hast thou forsaken me?
Stop whinin' and tell me what you want me to do.
For starters...you could spell me on this fucking cross.
All you had to do was ask.
"m-e o-n t-h-i-s f-u-c-k-i-n-g c-r-o-s-s", now how's that?

 

by bigworm
4-02-10
born in a cave...
long ago...
was the first day of April...
...and we'll call it 'THE BIBLE'.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ...HO HO HO HO HO. That's a GOOD one.

 

by bigworm
4-02-10
Jesus contemplates what to say in his 'singles' ad...
"Hmm... I like to go for long walks in the desert."
"I like to blow people's minds by turning water into wine, and making dinner for everyone out of just one fish."
"I have BIG wood."

 

Man, this is fuckin' rude.
by bigworm, 4-02-10

 

by bigworm
4-03-10
Honey, I've been thinkin' a lot lately about how to lend a helping hand to the world of sinners, spinnin' right there outside our window.
So you're gonna' kill a bunch of 'em and hope the problem goes away?
So even you doubt my love. I know I've failed to prove my love to you, even though I killed a shitload of butt-fuckers just for you.
Honey, you know damn well...
...you're the only butt-fucker for me.

 

by bigworm
4-03-10
For God So Loved The World, That He Invented A Foul Smelling Matter That Would Serve To Satisfy Those Who Couldn't Eat Pussy At Any Given Time...
And He Sent The Word Out Upon The Land Down Under... And The Word Was...
VEGEMITE.

 

by bigworm
4-06-10
...ummph
...uhhh
eeeaaahhhh.....
oooeeeeee...
Well, we tried.
It sounded good.

 

Details are sketchy, but it appears as though a local resident known as 'Beeko', was found floating face down in what neighbors described as a 'flood of his own creation'. More as the story develops.
by bigworm, 4-14-10

 

by bigworm
4-15-10
In the beginning, God asked the chosen one's to give names unto his creations. One day God sought names from a stutterer.
So...uhhh, what do you want to call that stinky material that comes out your ass?
Ca-ca...ca-
And thus was the word 'ca-ca' born.
Ca-ca?
Ca-ca-ca...
And soon, ca-ca became 'shit'. Then... in a surprising turn of events, 'shit' begat 'shat'...and 'shat' begat 'poo-poo', and poo-poo begat 'doo-doo', and doo-doo begat 'dump', and so on.
Ca, ca, ca, call it 'shit'.

 

by bigworm
4-19-10
There's a new opera being written. It's a tragic tale of a sex obsessed tenor who can't get a boner on Sunday's. It's the story of...
...'Flaccido Domingo'.

 

by bigworm
4-19-10
In scene 1, Flaccido awakens early Sunday morning to find yet another day of grief and sorrow. His highly anticipated plans to go camping must be cancelled.
In despair Flaccido calls his girlfriend, Rigita. In great pain he sings softly to her, and explains why they can't go camping. Then... like thunder (but without a boner), he bellows...
...a camping we can't go, to the fire add some coal, for I have no tent pole, I have no tent pole!!!
*chorus* HE HAS NO TENT POLE, HE HAS NO TENT POLE!!!

 

by bigworm
4-19-10
This in the part where the Glory of the opera shines through like a priceless piece of something really valuable and known to cost a lot of money.This might be the end of this epic inanity!
Act 1 ends with Flaccido having no 'tent pole', and telling his girlfriend Rigita that thus they cannot go camping. Rigita has (of course), forgotten what 'tent pole' means...
Rigita was not exactly the most gracious person you've ever met. But remember (even if it isn't so), that the opera is an invitation to the eloquent AND the coarse, where fat people celebrate remorse.
Listen, you know I just bought a new tent 2 weeks ago. I wanna' go camping. Tell me why we can't or I'm gonna' have to choke you out.
*chorus* she's going to choke you out... tra la la!!! she's going to choke you out... tra la la!!!
SUDDENLY (*kettle drum roll*), Rigita remembers that Flaccido never refers to his doo-hickey as his pa pa pa pa (you know... that medical word, the one that rhymes with 'weenus'). But alas...
*Flaccido sings nasty to Rigita* It's too late Rigita, your man now gets his corn-cobb sucked by WHORES, WHORES, WITH ACTIVE CANKER SORES!!! TA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
La la la la la!!! I don't understand you!!! We used to feed our corn-cobbs to the chickens!!! It's my fate to ponder your last remark... forever more... I'm pretty sure... I hope I can take it!!!

 

by bigworm
4-23-10
One morning... when reality wasn't an issue, one robot caught another robot performing an auto-erotic command. "Ha ha ha" said the grey robot, "what have we here?"
"Oh God, I'm so ashamed!", cried the red robot. "I can't believe I didn't hear you coming." "It's ok" said the grey robot. "Here's some oil to quiet those clanking arms."
"What's the use?" cried the red robot. I'm never going to get any pussy anyway!"

 

by bigworm
4-23-10
"Why are you jacking off out here in the forest all by yourself?" asked the grey robot. "Well" said the red robot, because this is where my grandmother is buried."
Oh, I understand now. At first it didn't make any sense to me.
*note to viewer*- Grey robots are smarter than red ones, and they tend to exploit this advantage.That may be what's happening here...
Hey, my offer for oil is still good... what do you say?
Well, maybe just a drop...

 

by bigworm
4-23-10
hmmm....
aahhhh...
This doesn't look like oil to me!
hence the name...'DESPERATE STEEL'.
Shut up and keep sucking!

 

by bigworm
4-23-10
So, how was it that your grandmother died anyway?
aarghhh
What?
aarghhy barghhy gorp, spp spp!
Nevermind, keep sucking!
!!!?

 

by bigworm
4-23-10
...and so the depravity continues.
aahhhhh...
Do you mind if I come up for a breath now and then?
Of course not, insofar as the need to breathe doesn't interfere with the primary task at hand...or better yet, IN hand.
...which is?
SUCKING, keep on.
oooph, umphhh

 

by bigworm
4-23-10
How about some ass baby?
Some WHAT!!?
Some ASS!!! You know A-S-S!!!
ASS!!?
Let's make it 'flank' then. How about some flank?
Oh my!

 

by bigworm
4-23-10
Aren't you the funny one? Always trying to fool me. Take a bath and then we'll hit the sack!
Okay.
Alright!

 

by bigworm
4-25-10
Reports of lewd and lascivious conduct are taken by the ROBOT POLICE. They respond quickly, but one is a trainee who slows things down.
Damn!! We missed them!
What is it they were doing? I didn't get a chance to read the reports.
Here we go again!
It was despicable, and not something I wish to speak about. I could probably describe it better by re-enacting the events described in the reports.
Now I'm more curious than ever, and I'm already making decisions in the field! Let's go ahead with the re-enactment.
F.Y.I.- there is no 'brotherhood' amongst cop robots.
Okay, I'll be the grey robot, and you be the red robot.
Okay, I'm ready!!! What next??

 

by bigworm
4-25-10
NOW SUCK MY GIGANTIC GREY ROBOT DICK YOU FUCKING WHORE!!! AND YOU'D BETTER NOT STOP FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER!!!
I'm gonna' be the grey robot next time.
Because I'm a good training officer, and to enhance your utility to the force, I'm going to enroll you in a highly specialized training course.
Oh boy, I wonder what it's called.
It's called 'Yodeling with your mouth full' 101.
Scratch that last thought.

 

by bigworm
4-25-10
SUDDENLY, A ROBOT POLICE SUPERVISOR ARRIVES ON SCENE!!!
Where's your trainee???
He's underneath you sir, on the ground.
What the hell is he doing down there!!???
Getting char-broiled by your thruster jets?
???!!!

 

by bigworm
4-25-10
uhhh...
Answer my question!!! Why the hell is he on the ground in the first place?
I think he was sleeping sir.
What the hell was your dick doing in his mouth???
I was punishing him for sleeping on the job sir!!
Excellent work officer... carry on!

 

by bigworm
4-25-10
What kind of party was that anyway?
All I know is I've got to get out of this fucking costume!!! It's driving me nuts!!!
Don't forget my B.J. before we go to sleep !!!
Would you settle for a hand-job?

 

by bigworm
4-27-10
Shit man, we neva' made dis much bread bro. I'm gon' be rollin' in it.
Man, I'm gon' be dressin' up like a 8 yr. ol' ever night man!
Whew!!! I be glad to get outa' dat costume man.
That's good, but wit all da money we makin' man, I be LIVIN' in dat shit if I haf to!

 

by bigworm
4-30-10
I was wondering if you'd ever had a 7yr. old lover.
It's okay...
I like virgins.

 

by bigworm
4-30-10
I'm hardly a virgin.
I prefer experienced men.

 

by bigworm
4-30-10
It's highly inappropriate for me to discuss any such issues with you, or any child for that matter.
Perhaps you should return to the company's daycare.
I'm not wearing any panties.

 

by bigworm
4-30-10
You need a witness my friend, or you're gonna' find yourself in deep shit.
Good thinking, or better yet, I'll get some other sucker to take my place.
See ya!
Call me?

 

by bigworm
4-30-10
There's an issue of some delicacy that I feel needs to be addressed. It has to do with your daughter and her...
Hold on there Bucko! That little girl is the apple of my eye! She's the bee's knees!
That's exactly what I was going to say. I for one, just love having her around. She's a total joy, and doesn't bother anyone as far as I can see. She's just adorable.
I should caution you... for your own good...
hmmm?
She'll suck your dick in a heartbeat!

 

by bigworm
4-30-10
Will you lick my balls?
And maybe afterwards we could go out for a shake.
I was just wonderin'.

 

by bigworm
5-01-10
I find this to be a very curious situation. I spoke with your father, and as it turns out, he's aware of your behavior and apparently not bothered.
Well, that's probably because he loves me so much, and knows that I've already outgrown my previously expressed need to suck dick at any given moment. He knows that I've moved on.
That's quite an observation for a young girl like yourself to make, and very well put I might add. Hopefully this signals movement towards normalization.
Wow... that's a really nice hope.
Thankyou.
If you pull your pants down, I'll lick your ass!

 

by bigworm
5-02-10
Will you lick my balls?
Are they dirty?
No, they're nice and clean!
Then they don't need to be licked.
What I meant was, they were nice and clean yesterday, but today they're really dirty and smelly!
You can try again tomorrow if you want.

 

by bigworm
5-02-10
What's a dog have to do to get his balls licked around here?
Huh?
I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said.

 

by bigworm
5-02-10
Please listen to me. Please... can you do that for me this one time?
Sure I can.
It's about my balls, that's all... my balls, are you hearing me?
Did someone just come in the front door?
No!!! Nobody just came in the front door! Did you even hear what I was saying?
Yeh, you were saying something about ping-pong?

 

by bigworm
5-02-10
My balls are dirty.
Well?
Have you given any thought to licking 'em?

 

by bigworm
5-03-10
Every year, the North American High Desert Worm Association meets for fun and games.
Everyone has a real good time.

 

by bigworm
5-07-10
How ya'll gettin' along brother?
Diarrhea!
Good Lord! I guess that explains why yer beard and yer hair's all brown! Damn! How many times do I...
I know... I know... you ain't got to tell me again...
I'm jus' supposed to eat it, not sleep in it.

Showing page 3.

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