All comics by ragu4u

 

You know I was bannned at "Stripcreator.com"?
You was? Me not even know you was musical.
by ragu4u, 9-08-08

 

by ragu4u
9-08-08
How do you do, and welcome. I'm your boss, Chuck. I'm sure you'll enjoy your time temping for me.
CHUCK? The one and only.....
...Chuck Chuck, bo buck, banana fana fo fuck, fee fi mo muck......CHUCK?
Well uh, er, actually it might be better if you call me Mr. Williams.
Oh, so that's Bill for short, huh? Ok! Billy Billy, bo Billy banana fanna fo filly, me mi mo milly, BILLY!
Now who did I go and piss off in "Human Resources?"

 

by ragu4u
9-09-08
Border of North Korea 9/9/08
I hear Kim Jong ill.
No way. He 100 mile from here. You no can hear dat far.
No, no. I mean Kim Jong "ILL".
Me no stupid! I know who who you mean.
Soon may be time say "So long Jong".
Who dat? You give leader nickname now? You cwazy.

 

by ragu4u
9-09-08
It's time now to go to KTVI's "Window On the World of Weather" with Rusty Bedsprings and an update on Hurricane IKE. Rusty...
Thanks, Dick. IKE looks to create more violent and tornadic suction than your wife did at the last Xmas party....
...not to mention the fact it will get wetter faster and blow harder than your daughter on Prom night. Back over to you Dick!..Dick? Dick?
Let me back out there!!! I'll stick a rain guage right up that little bastards ass.....but let me comb my hair first.

 

by ragu4u
9-09-08
Well, if it ain't Al Franken. What ya up to, dude?
If you must know, I'm writing my "Thank You" remarks to all the Minnesota voters who helped me win the Democratic Senatorial primary.
You only won because you ran against three monkeys and a retard. Plus almost nobody voted.
How unkind of you. I AM TO liked. People do want me. They do see my genius.
Hey man. Your "Stuart Smally" is showing.
They really want to be around me and they do to admire my ideas. Besides...I'm a REALLY nice guy!

 

by ragu4u
9-09-08
Fox News Channel 6am Sunday
Allison, we have a crew at Barak Obama's home for an early morning impromtu interview.
Shep Smith is there to ask if there is any truth that Mr. Obama is actually a radical Muslim.
Inside the Obama Home
Barak, it's Fox News. They want to talk. Are you dressed?
There are no cameras, I hope. I'm dressed casual and need a shave.
That's OK. He said it would be an interview about "the real" you.
Fine, then gather dates, slaughter a lamb for roasting & bring out my copy of the Koran so I may show him the many errors of his infidel ways.

 

by ragu4u
9-10-08
Governor, how do you feel about being equated with a pig wearing lipstick?
Mr. Oberman, how would you like a 10 pound Alaskan King Crab shoved up your rump?
Well, Mr. Obama did make a comment today about pigs and lipstick.
Keith, you seem to forget that I project the Pit Bull/ Hockey Mom type.
Not in OUR eyes at Mess-NBC!
END of interview. Get this "girly-man" out of my sight.

 

by ragu4u
9-10-08
The nurse will show you to the pre-op room. With luck, one day that chair will be useless.
I sure hope so doc.
I need to get you prepped. Walk this way.
Damn lady, if I could walk that way I wouldn't need this friggin operation.

 

by ragu4u
9-10-08
I got nailed by some grease ball Italian coppers and did they work me over.
Man that's odd.
It sounds almost exactly like what happened to this dude over here, only something is different.
Maybe it's the term "nailed".
Duh! Ya think?

 

by ragu4u
9-10-08
I got nailed by some grease ball Italian coppers and did they work me over.
Man that's odd.
It sounds almost like exactly what happened to this dude over here, only something is different.
Maybe it's the term, "nailed"?
Duh! Ya think?

 

by ragu4u
9-10-08
I'll give you this bone if...
If what?
...if you can find me a tree, a bush or a fire hydrant....quick.
Sorry. Bones are meaningless to me without meat on them.
However, YOU look like a mighty tasty morsel, I must say.
Maybe I just better be running along & write my name in the snow like the drunk humans do.

 

by ragu4u
9-10-08
Thank God...help has arrived!
Mr . Jones I have had the hardest time reaching you at your home. I was wondering....
What the..? A damn solicitor.
..if you'd mind answering a few questions about your wireless phone service?
mmmpf...mmfp!
Sure, sure. Everyone SAYS they are unhappy and want to cancel but, for today only, I'm authorized to offer you the deal of a lifetime.

 

A Note From ragu4u
I truly apologize for strip misprints. I tend to think way faster than my typing skills can handle.
Need a proof reader, Tubby? Don't bother saying NO.
by ragu4u, 9-11-08

 

by ragu4u
9-11-08
Yea!
Woo Hoo!
Go, team!
Don't mess with that dude. I think those sleeves TIE in the back.
I don't care what his excuse is....we're doing the WAVE here.......
I'd like some Fava beans and a nice Chianti.

 

by ragu4u
9-11-08
What is that flapping sound?
I'm just about to rock your world, Padre . Come a little bit closer...
Oh! A creature of the Lord come to exhibit it's beauty for me. What a blessing.
Aaak! The Cross....stop, must get away!
He, certainly, left in a hurry. Too bad.
I should have known he'd be all "Blinged Out". He's a Catholic.

 

by ragu4u
9-11-08
The Frat Party
I ain't got all day damn it. Let's get to it young fella. The line is backing up in the hall.
Be nice lady. I'm new at this.
The Frat Party
If you don't get moving I'll kick your ass. Time is money.
This better be worth it.Something tells me you are too, NOW. Say, you
Later at the Bar
Too bad you couldn't be there, Beetle. The sex was fabulous but that whore sure was crabby.
Something tells me you are too, NOW. Say, you did wash those hands, right?

 

by ragu4u
9-11-08
I'm always afraid on 9/11. I'm afraid bad stuff will happen again.
But it's been 7 years and no more attacks here. Why do I needlessly worry?
I will be strong from here on. Worrying is for losers.
Dis just not you lucky day, loser.

 

by ragu4u
9-12-08
And now with breaking news on Hurricane Ike, here's meteorologist, Dave Lush!
Oh no. I hope daddy hasn't been drinking at work again.
Howdy folks, hic. We got some bad ass shit happening in the, hic, Gulf. Look at all that swirling crap going on down there! That's, hic, one mutha....
...fucker of a storm. Ya'll better screw yer old ladies one last time then pack, hic, up and get out. And don't forget yer guns cuz, hic, it's gonna be every man for his self, hic!
Mom! Dad's done it again. It looks like we're gonna need to break out the "For Sale" sign.

 

by ragu4u
9-12-08
Draw, stranger!
Crap...this ain't fair! I said DRAW!
I never thought I'd be rubbed out like this!
This here panel just weren't big enough fer the two of us.

 

by ragu4u
9-12-08
Excuse me, but may I ask why you have chosen NOT to breast feed?
There are many reasons but the main one, if you must know, is that I'm a MAN, you blind bitch!
Now why didn't I think of that?

 

by ragu4u
9-12-08
So this machine will keep me young forever, huh Doc?
Absolutely, young man. Step inside vile I prepare to begin. Now don't touch anyth.......
Auch du liber. Un das not goot.
What the hell happened, doc?
The good news is, you'll live forever. The bad news is, now you won't want to. Oopsy!

 

by ragu4u
9-12-08
Did you know Halle Barry sat on me naked!
Oh? Britny Spears sat on ME naked.
That's nothing. Rhianna sat on me naked.
Well top this. MADONNA sat on me naked and wiggled & wiggled.
Sorry friend. The CDC MADE me do it.

 

by ragu4u
9-13-08
Oh Lord, the people seek your guidance.
I am pleased Moses. I will give them a law of strict rules to follow so they may lead pure & holy lives.
...uh...
Actually Lord, I think they were more looking for something like GPS devices.

 

by ragu4u
9-13-08
4:53pm
My first prom. I'm so excited. He'll be here any minute..
I hope she can't tell I stuck socks down my pants for the "schlong" effect.
5pm
Hey sis, your date is here! Did ya get that diaphragm jammed back up in there yet?
A diaphragm? That means sex. Oh boy, I just don't know...
5:15pm
Little girl, will your sister be much longer?
She'll be a litlle longer. She runned out of tissues to stuff in her bra.

 

by ragu4u
9-13-08
Heave to Mr. Scurvy. The natives here be desirin to purchase our corn.
We never sold our corn before Cap'n. What be a fair askin price?
Tis no mystery why I'm the Cap'n and ye are a lowly bilge rat. Mr. Scurvy, there can be only ONE price.
And what might that thar price be, skipper?
A buck a ear, you moron.
And I could have signed onto "The Love Boat".

 

by ragu4u
9-13-08
Give me some fish and I'll eat for a week.
Here ya go, poor soul.
But TEACH me to fish.....
..then ya cast yer line waaay out in...
...and I'll probably cut myself baiting a rusty hook and wind up in the hospital on disability....with a cutsy tootsy nurse I might add.
Doctor, there's a strong chance this little perv did this on purpose.

 

by ragu4u
9-14-08
I think it's time to break off our relationship, Peter!
How can you do thith to me, today of all daythz?
Ten months is plenty. Besides, what makes today so special?
...well...
My water just broke, ath-hole!

 

by ragu4u
9-14-08
Yet another Sunday with low attendance , father.
Do not lose faith, sister. I have prayed and received insight to boost our membership.
Trust me, sister. Go do as I have instructed and return here, forth with. Our pews will be filled soon.
I feel blessed already and will do as you say, father.
You look perfect, sister. Now, have you contacted my new prospect for music minister?
Well Father, Sir-Mix-Alot said he'd do the gig if you'd beef up the "cheese". But must I dance to "Baby Got Back"?

 

by ragu4u
9-14-08
Trust me. You'll be devinely delicious looking in my new styles.
I'm a jeans and tee shirt kinda guy.
Oh foofoo! My creations will make you "se magnifique".
I'll try one outfit, but no faggot stuff!
Oh, you look exquisite in that ensemble, sir!
Listen fairy, if I could move I'd be kickin yo ass from here to queer town.

 

by ragu4u
9-14-08
Lord Jesus, is it too late for me to be saved?
Well that depends , my child.
Depends? On what?
...on whether you can hold your breath till the rescue boat arrives or not.
He must not have understood the question!
Huh?

 

by ragu4u
9-15-08
9/15/2008...... Financial Crisis
How do the financial institutions failing across the country affect you folks here at the U.S. Mint?
Our country is solid as a rock. We loose no sleep over the events of today.
Well then, how do you explain the actions of that chap across the vault over there?
Oh, THAT!
In every office there is always one guy who can't help taking his work home with him. "SECURITY!"
Would you believe this is my lunch box, sir?

 

by ragu4u
9-15-08
I'm Sarah Palin running for VP in the USA!
I'm Tzipi Livni running to be the leader of Isreal.
You realize if we both win, each of us will have access to nukes?
Nukes, shmooks. As the 2 hottest women in world government.....
...we will already possess more heat, power and damage capability in our panties than in all worlds the missle silos.
Say, what's the differance bewteen nuclear weapons and our vaginas?..........Lips!

 

by ragu4u
9-15-08
3am
Rookie to Sarge. You copy me Sarge? I'm tired of hiding in the trash can..."over"!
3:30am
No perv is gonna try to screw this dead guy in here, besides I'm st..ar..ting to faallll as.....leeeeep.....zzz
Half Asleep at 4:30am
zzz... Ug, cough, ack!! Yuck. How did this condom get in my mouth? Ptooy, ptooy. Rookie to Sarge. Quick. come in Sarge.
Mmm! That was sooo HOT!

 

by ragu4u
9-16-08
Monday Night Football 9/15/2008 Post Game Locker Room
You mad, coach?
How could you have THROWN DOWN the football one half yard before crossing the goal line?
Monday Night Football 9/15/2008 Post Game Locker Room
You can't spec me not to wave at de bitches in de stands. I'm de MAN!
I'm benching you for the rest of the season. You don't get paid for any more games. The "MAN" better be able to live on that.
Monday Night Football 9/15/2008 Post Game Locker Room
Dat be leavin me wit about 12 mil and percs. I be aright.
Damn Union.

 

by ragu4u
9-16-08
Welcom to Merrill Lynch Bank, sir. May I assit you with your deposit?
Uh, well....
If that's what happens when a guy puts his hard earned money in here, I'm not to sure you may.
Oh, don't be silly, sir. This only happens when customers try to WITHDRAW their money.

 

by ragu4u
9-16-08
The Good...
As I went motivatin over the hill...
...I saw Maybellene in a Coup Deville...
...Old Days!
...her Cadillac rollin on the open road...
...but nothin outruns my V-8 Ford...
..............................Today...................
Stragers in the night...
...exchanging glances......

 

by ragu4u
9-17-08
Oh sure! You expect me to feel pity for this dude? No way.
How cruel, Mr Butt.
What would you do with a guy who sucks ya dry then throws you out a car window...
..or drops ya on the street and stomps the living hell out of you? Well?
If you put it like that....I'll get the champaign.

 

by ragu4u
9-17-08
Everybody shoulda guessed most of you priests were queers.
Hows that, my gothic little ball of rebellion?
Well look where you all went to school.
I don't see any problem with those institutions, you delicious delinquent.
It's like this Padre. The first word in Seminary is semin. Get it?
Not nearly enough, my hard little hooligan. Not nearly enough.

 

by ragu4u
9-17-08
Sir, unlike the others, this next sales applicant appears to really be on the ball. Shall I send him in?
Yeah, yeah but he better be good.
Buy,buy,buy,buy....
What the...? Bye, bye alright.
??
Hey pooch, as you're rolling out the door, forever, tell Miss Cat-Ears that she's FIRED. N'k?

 

by ragu4u
9-18-08
Well what do you know about that, you scuzzy, flea infested, stinky HO? Look over yer shoulder.
Hey, it ain't me. I dusched yesterday.
Now how's about THAT!
Sometimes when ya smell a filthy pussy, it IS a filthy pussy!

 

by ragu4u
9-18-08
Uncle Crabby, me want sea horse. Me want see horse.
Calm down kid. Your day will come.
Me want see horse NOW!
Ok, if it will shut you up. But don't tell yer parents.
Hey there little sailor. Are you the crabby kid who wants to "see whores"?
Uncle Crabby sure have dirty mind.

 

by ragu4u
9-18-08
I saw you learing at my pert tatas. You looking for a good time, I hope?
It's you who'll be having a good time. Wait till you see ...
...THIS...!
What a freakin, brain dead, loser. Buzz off!
I'll never score. I keep forgetting to get NAKED first.

 

by ragu4u
9-19-08
My banks bigger than your bank...my banks bigger than yours.....
%#@&$
..my banks bigger cuz it got "bailed out", my banks bigger than yours. Nyaa!
Must hold temper a few more seconds.
You guys at "Bear Sterns" were always a bunch of prick, cry babies! My mom hits harder than THAT!
That's it! I will now deliver the coups d"etat. You had better own life insurance in a company that still has assets, my friend.

 

by ragu4u
9-19-08
Where are my sled dogs, Butch?
Me chop them up like you say to, boss.
WHAT? All you asked me was how to get them moving and I told you.
...and I do what you tell me, boss.
Me make them, "Mush"!
I wonder if McDonald's would take him back? Nah. No such luck.

 

by ragu4u
9-19-08
Welcome to "Great Clips", where our styles are a cut above the rest. May I help you?
Yes, but I need to use the rest room first.
Wow. It may take a while for that little gal to fix your hair fiasco. I'll get mine done later.
What do you mean? She just finished me up.
No, we don't use chain saws to cut hair here!
By the looks of that dude in the can you do. I'm gone!

 

by ragu4u
9-19-08
You can't refuse to rent to me.
Why yer nuttin but no good slime.
Be that as it may, you can't keep me out.
In fact, you may be one huge booger, to boot.
Oh no, a booger. Not that!
Yep. That's it, a booger. And I kin make it stick too. Just like the one on my finger tip here. This lil guy could be yer baby brother.

 

by ragu4u
9-20-08
You know, I find I'm terribly sore after the wife and I have sex. Might you know any fixes?
Well young fella, ya ever tried "Ben Gay"?
I've never tried being gay in my life. How would that help?
That warm feeling ya get from rubbing it heps it to go way deep inside. It's actually soothin as hell.
So being gay is something you'd advise?
Yep. You may just find that "Ben Gay" will hep ya'll to have the best sex ya EVER done had! Yo wife might like trying it, herself.

 

by ragu4u
9-20-08
Hey baby, you wanna ride my big ole motorcycle?
No way, loser. Hit the road.
If she won't ride the cycle she WILL ride the sickle.
ugh

 

by ragu4u
9-20-08
At lunch In the park she sings...
Some day my prince will come. Some day my prince........
Yo! Funky mama. You rang?
Me & my brutha wants what you gots and are hot fo yo slot. So give us a shot.
After lunch.
Honestly, I know I said "prince". It maybe sounded like "pimps" but it was definitely "prince".
So like,"Who cares"? I just wanna know how many tricks you turned before your lunch hour was over? You NASTY GIRL, you!

 

by ragu4u
9-21-08
Another Sunday, another almost empty church. What to do, Padre?
We need for the wisest among us to look heavenward for guidance, my child.
Oh please, if you truly exist up there, fill our spirits with fire to gather more believers into our earthly nest.
It does me heart good to see the older members show, by example, how they commune with the almighty.
"Klatu, Virada, Necto".
Oh Lord, I have yet to be able to discern "Tongues". Can you "slang it up" a little bit?

Showing page 3.

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