All comics by LuckyGuess

Profile

 

by LuckyGuess
1-11-06
Have I ever told you how the world will end?
No, seeing as how you are a creepy man in a black trenchcoat talking to random women in the middle of the night.
The world will end in fire and blood. Humanity will be crushed by it's own drive toward material gain, and all will crumble into dust.
So, you wanna screw?

 

by LuckyGuess
1-11-06
I wanna be a movie star.
Done.
You now have the number one movie in America.
I don't feel any more famous.
Oh, you aren't going to.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-12-06
I think I'm finally ready to forgive my ex.
Oh?
I no longer feel the need to eat my own head whenever I see her and her boyfriend together, so I'm going to talk to her when she's alone and try and make amends.
Wait... you were gonna eat your own head?

 

Well this is just horseshit.
by LuckyGuess, 1-13-06

 

by LuckyGuess
1-14-06
Oh demon lords of hate, rise and serve me!
This is the demonic summoning hotline. How may I place your call?
I want to summon a demon.
To summon a demon, press one. Por hablo espanol, press two.
This is a bonfire. There aren't any buttons.
If you are dialing from a rotary sacrificial pit, press three. If you are ordering a curse, press four.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-14-06
I've got a 420 and a 10-7.
Oh.
You know what that means, right?
No.
Neither do I.
Let's go to Krispy Kreme.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-14-06
Hey, Rachelle!
Hello, Jared. You want to drop by and watch a movie tommorow?
Sure! Just give me directions.
Okay, take 99 down three exits and then take two lefts, one at each stop sign. My house is the last one on the left.
You should probably just get me here.
You have to pay for gas, you idiot.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-15-06
It's nice to see you... what are you doing?
Clipping my toenails. What's it look like I'm doing?
Don't clip your toenails in my car.
You'd probably want me to if you saw them. They're like demon toenails.
You're gross.
I'm not the one who isn't wearing deodorant. You had a long day on the ranch or something? You smell horrible.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-15-06
What's up with Death and Mr. Zebub?
I hear they're secretly lovers.
So death, mind if I stick my penis in your butt?
Feel free.
Figures Death would sleep with the supervisor.
In high school he dumped Shiva for some floozie, and then she went on to be an award winning novelist. He was never the same after that.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-15-06
Your not going to smash me, are you?
If I smash you, I'll be considered a free spirit and a fun person to be around.
Why don't you try recreational drug use?
I have been for a while. How do you think I'm talking to you?
Point taken. Well, let's get this over with.
If I knock out the window of the beamer that's parked in the driveway I'll be a rebel too, so I'll do that.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-16-06
Thanks for driving me around. I would have gotten lost very quickly trying to get to your house.
Don't worry about it. You don't even have to pay for gas.
I'll be able to find it next time, since I went there and all.
Where would you have ended up if I hadn't come to get you?
I would have gone north on 99 instead of south, and after two hours of second-guessing myself I would have ended up in San Francisco.
Aww. You could have picked us up some dim sum.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-16-06
Yo, fairy girl. Why the long face?
I'm just tired of every idiot I meet asking for some dumb wi...
I wish for a Jaguar.
God damn bullshit. It's all just God damn bullshit.
The car! I wanted the ca... *gurgle*

 

by LuckyGuess
1-17-06
Woot! Drink up for the millenium, fellow space travelers!
You had better not ask for any stupid drunk wishes.
*hic*
...MARCH ...KILL ...MARCH ...KILL...
...MARCH ...KILL ...MARCH ...KILL...

 

by LuckyGuess
1-18-06
I heard you ex had sex with some guy in an open second story window.
It's interesting how some people can become so disgusting so fast.
I mean, why didn't I get crazy window sex? That's bullshit.
If it's any consolation, she said it's because you were special.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-18-06
That girl is never going to find a guy who actually cares about her while she's in high school now.
Seriously.
She'll always be looked at as a fuck buddy who you can smoke pot with and get sex from instead of an actual person.
So in other words, she'll be popular.
That's one way of putting it.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-18-06
Ivy's Place
Your cats were talking to me a few minutes ago.
You can hear them too? Well met.
Kuwait
Kuwait sucks.
Yes. Yes it does.
The Local Jail
I was told you'd be here.
Lewl.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-18-06
The House of Pun
There was a homeless man with no fingers pointing his stubs at me outside.
That was pointless.
A Franchise Unit
I'll give you a roll of employee coupons if you set the building on fire.
The Scene of a Bloody Murder
I don't even want to know.
Hey, have you shoplifted recently? If you have, you'd better run.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-18-06
I made a blog in my class today.
Didn't you get toilet trained when you were 3 or something?
Or do you have a bladder problem?
I hate you.
Don't blame me for your loose stool.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-19-06
Jared?!
Alice?! Christ, I haven't seen you in eons!
I know! This is crazy! It's so good to see you!
Seriously! I missed you a lot!
Why aren't you smiling?
This character has limited animation.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-19-06
How to be Funny- Advice from seasoned professionals!
Get a Job- Work from home and make $500 dollars a week! Apply now!
I think it's trying to tell me something.
Bronzer- Afraid of the sun? Now you won't look like it!

 

by LuckyGuess
1-20-06
Let me ask your opinion: Are that girls breasts big?
Those? For her body size, yeah. If your looking for bust size, though, you should check out more mature women.
Oh. Okay.
You're better off like that. Besides, all the teenybopper porn I watch online has breasts just like those all over it.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-21-06
You'd never guess the kind of wishes I have to grant after 1:00 AM.
A lot of sex stuff?
Not really.
Huh.
Stuff like beer that will talk back to you.
That would save Florida a lot of Chupacabra reports.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-21-06
Sure, you could call it a "power-up."
You know, you are a really nice guy. A really nice guy. And I'm not just saying that. Have you ever seen Princess Peach with her clothes off? She is HOT!
I'm writing this shit down.
Mario, Mario, Mario. You took a piss on the royal castle, assaulted Luigi with a vibrating dildo, and raped Yoshi. What do you have to say for yourself?
Yoshi isn't a man, is it?

 

I'm not getting overtime for my extra shift.
It's okay. Patrick from the Legal Division is getting paid in Gummi Bears.
by LuckyGuess, 1-21-06

 

by LuckyGuess
1-22-06
How'd your dance go?
I wasn't even able to get in. They said my date's shoes weren't dressy enough for a semi-formal event.
What kind of shoes were they?
Red Converse.
School policy these days.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-22-06
I'm getting my 26 dollars back, god damn it.
Ah, hello number 64712089. What may I help you with?
I want my money back for the school dance. I wasn't able to get in and my Jewish blood is screaming for a refund.
There was no school dance...
Are you kidding me? My people invented the concept of manipulation. How do you think we control the banks and the media?

 

by LuckyGuess
1-22-06
I'm not going to refund your 26 dollars because you're just some 17 year old punk with no concept of responsibility and the character that best represents you in comics has no intimidating animations.
Oh, really?
Once I have accrued enough power I will feast on the young flesh of the students who attend this festering wasteland. Muahahahaha!
Oh, I see you're back. Wait a minute...
The VP sends his regards.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-22-06
So I killed the principal of the school, took my bloody 26 dollars, went home, and took a nap.
Nice.
I was so happy that the next day I found my first girlfriend and had sex with her.
I'm sure that was nice.
"You could say that."
Jared! Jared! Jared!
26 dollars! Refund! REFUND! ...........and I'm spent.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-22-06
You look stressed.
I need something that will clear my focus from this job.
Well, you are a fairy. Couldn't you poof yourself something?
You idiot! I'm not a Fairly Oddparent! I can't poof shit! My magic is triggered by requests. If I want an escape I have to work for it.
I usually don't make cameo appearences in other sets, but would you like to invest in a murderous quadrupedal hallucination?
Does it come with a free tote bag?

 

by LuckyGuess
1-22-06
First rule of Joy Luck Club is you don't talk about Joy Luck Club.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-23-06
Get off. I need to do my homework.
Hold on until I finish installing this software.
Two Hours Later
Get off. I really need to do my homework now.
What does it mean when it says, "Out of ink?"
Two Hours After That
Finally I can get to work.
LuckyGuess has joined #stripcreator.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-23-06
I need to break up with my girlfriend. I don't feel comfortable in this relationship.
Then do it.
But I asked her out! I don't want to hurt her, either!
Just do it.
Maybe I should let it play out another week.
I'm leaving you to yourself. Have fun, you two.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-23-06
What the hell?
Welcome to Narnia. My name is Pattimo, the war elephant.
I don't remember war elephants in the book. Is this part of the film?
Doesn't matter. The pot smoke from the row behind you called you here. I could be Geraldo Rivera for all you know.
Geraldo Rivera actually lives in Narnia, though.
We don't tolerate back talk in the magical kingdom of Narnia.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-23-06
Hmm... that would be when your support to Kaenash was "proven" to be exaggerated... as without much merit really - if being... as he was... is all that warrants such grandiloquent praise... well then.
It's no gold medal.
What the fuck are you talking about?
What the fuck are you talking about?
Pinch, poke, you owe me a coke.
Damnit.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-24-06
What?! Someone jacked my star!
Didn't you make a set called "Low ratings are a Virtue" about how ratings don't matter?
Yeah, but I liked that fourth star. It was like my homie.
Don't be a hypocrit.
I need a new computer.
Oh, so now it's MY fault someone thinks you aren't worthy of a fourth star?

 

by LuckyGuess
1-24-06
You have {1} new message.
Please let this be someone to talk to.
POWERBALL! Win over 4 MILLION dollars INSTANTLY!!!!!
I guess that works.
Dear Powerball Lottery, how was your day? Want to go out for lunch sometime? Hit me back. -Lucky

 

by LuckyGuess
1-24-06
Nate, you have to help me out. I'm putting off breaking up with this girl!
Why?
Her friends scare me.
Are they karate masters? Butch? Bodybuilders? Gang members?
They belong to the Environmental Protection Agency.
May God have mercy on your soul.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-24-06
You going to be in the Wizard of Oz?
Hell no.
Why? What's the worst that could happen?
If our scarecrow could do that back in Kansas, we'd never see problems from any old crows.
That boy is a bit too convincing as a woman. I say we beat him up after the show and steal his shoes.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-24-06
You have a vast amount of intelligence, wisdom, and maturity.
Wait a second. I don't remember this from my family discussions.
I'm really trying! It's just hard!
Stop being a failure and maybe I won't break everything you own.
I think an inner demon just got exorcised.
Let's celebrate! With beer!

 

by LuckyGuess
1-25-06
Shoot the duck!
Shoot the wabbit!
Shoot the duck!
Shoot the wabbit!
Why are we doing this again?
Stop asking questions and shoot me in the face already.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-25-06
According to a recent study, today, January 25, is the single most depressing day of the year.
Bills come in, layoffs are started in major manufacturing companies attempting to cut losses, and relationships end as one realizes they want to start over.
And all of that information is backed by a mathematical formula developed by a university proffessor.
So what does all this mean?
Math is the cause of deep depression.
Let's see you factologists proof away that explanation.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-25-06
Jesus, why, despite the rapture, have all good Christians not gone to heaven?
Because, my daughter, that was a bunch of bullshit. It was written so you people wouldn't just kill yourselves after the apocalypse.
So that whole part about the antichrist was made up too?
No, that was true. He should be around here somewhere.
Master! Your bidding is my command.
I want a PS2, my old memory cards with the saves intact, and a bowl of Smacks. Oh, and Gummi snacks. The old fashioned kind in the little bags, not the dollar for a thousand satchels.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-25-06
Based On A #StripCreator Discussion
Lucky, let me ask you a question.
If you could exchange your family for any two people on StripCreator, who would they be?
I think this is the place.
You, boy! You are now subservient to me. It has been ordained.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-25-06
I am the Alpha and the Omega! Fear my intelligence, wealth, and boundless piety! Bow before my mighty comics!
Why is brainpower wasted on people like you? I'm going to go watch Thundercats. Bye.
Why can't you say anything positive? Whatever, I'm going to go actually enjoy life now.
Your random flailings reflect your truly dire need to be noticed. BTW, you have cum on your face.
There's no longer a point to bothering with this guy. I say we just leave and let him argue with himself.
Somewhere, somehow, BLT is smiling.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-26-06
Jared, I saw your play and thought it was very well done. I like your theater class, too.
Well thank you. I appreciate it.
My only problem were those two younger students that were practically on top of eachother by the front door. Who were they?
My ex. And the guy she dumped me for.
Alright class, open your books to page 174.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-26-06
Ahhh, it feels good to be away from clients and back in the office.
Michelle! We have an assignment directly from the boss!
The boss? Me? Really?
I'm serious! Congratulations!
You called for me, sir?
I had a shit day. Give me a CAT scan and I may consider sharing these chocolate coated Gummi octopi with you.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-26-06
I've noticed we've eaten at this restaurant a lot lately.
It's my ex, Nate. Every time I think I'm rid of her, she pulls some shit that forces me to notice her.
Sounds like she's trying to make you jealous. If you bite into that stuff, she wins. Be the bigger person and just let it go.
Damn, you're right!
You'll just have to wait until you move away to get rid of her for good.
That's because I swerve and hit her as I'm turning on to the highway, right?

 

by LuckyGuess
1-27-06
Sorry you had to see those two yesterday.
That guy your ex was with is disgusting. They both are.
In My Head
Dance, dance, dance the night away!
Party, party, par-tay!
....dance.... party.... par...tay....
Jared?

 

by LuckyGuess
1-27-06
Great news! After carefully inspecting the restaurant, the Health Department has decided to give you a "C!" Isn't that great?
You get to put it in your window and everything! Aren't you excited?
This steak is a little too tender. I'm going to call a waiter.
Try and refrain. The trail of human organs leading to the kitchen tells me that you are eating the best steak you've ever tasted.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-27-06
{RING RING RING}
Yeah?
Um... this is the Elk Grove reptile.... um... Shut up! I'm doing it!... reptile house. Your Galapagos turtle is outside... um... your door. Shut up! I'm doing good!... So go outside to... um.. *click*
Oh, shit is on now.

Showing page 4.

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