All comics by Rocketlex2000

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-18-05
Encountering new life forms is always a neat experience.
Yeah, it really lets you ponder just how many mysteries the universe holds. In every corner of the galaxy there can be new minds and ideas to be found and learned from.
That's nice, but I was talking about this part.
Yeah, this part's cool.

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-18-05
So, um, aliens are running around killing everyone.
Yeah....
We should probably...like...do something about that.
There's no point. How could we defeat them? These beings have mastered space travel. They must be infinitely more intelligent that us humans.
Where the hell's the main thruster panel?
If you'd just label things, we wouldn't have this problem.

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-26-05
Prepare for termination, foolish Earth creature.
Okay, okay! We'll give you what you came for!
Give us what?
The domain name "khakain.com." Wasn't getting that domain name your mission?
Mih-shun? I don't understand this alien terminology.
I'll explain later.

 

by Rocketlex2000
4-21-05
It's been weeks, now. Are you going to finish this series?
All right, fine...
OMG OK SO THEN TEH ALIEN WAS KILLED BY A ROBOT FROM...THE FCC...WITH ITS LASERS OF JUSTICE!
I DON'T WANT MY CHILDREN BEING EXPOSED TO YOU!
I AM DEAD NOW!
Smooth.
It's good to give the audience closure.

 

by Rocketlex2000
4-23-05
I like smoking weed...
Don't even start that!
What?
You think you're better than me because you smoke weed? You think you're all extreme? I'm not falling for it! I see through your twisted mind games! Begone you evil, corrupting influence!
Are you feeling okay?
Sorry, I just did some coke so I'm a little wired.

 

by Rocketlex2000
5-08-05
After a tragic server incident, Khakain is forced to relocate to the HTLOZ boards...
Outsiders in our land! Oh, welcome to you those of Khakain!
Uh...hi.
Look, we're just stopping in until we can get a new server.
I like to listen to music! It's soooo great that you're here. Huggles. Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that...but too late! ^_^;;
KYAAAAAAAA!!!*teleports away*
We're GOT to get out of here...

 

by Rocketlex2000
5-08-05
So, how long until the new server is running.
It shouldn't take long. Besides, we can wait here until it's running.
HA HA HA! You are so strange. Tell me of your boards. I know nothing of them. I go to this board a lot. I have a webcam, but no pictures for you! ^_~
Would it be possible to get the server running NOW?
I'll see what I can do.

 

by Rocketlex2000
5-16-05
Board City's E3 2005 Coverage Special
Welcome to our continuing coverage of E3. With me is Bill Gates to talk about the X-Box 360. Now, why the number 360?
We used the number 360 because the X-Box 360 is going to turn the gaming world around.
How so?
Right now, people think that the gaming industry is afraid to innovate. They think developers just stick to what works in order to make money. Our new console will turn that view around 360 degrees!
But...360 degrees would mean...
You heard me.

 

by Rocketlex2000
5-16-05
Stopping by the Nintendo booth...
Nintendo continues to be the industry leader in innovation.
So, can we expect any cool new characters this year?
You lost me.
I thought so.

 

by Rocketlex2000
5-18-05
Square's Booth
So, any plans for the next-gen consoles.
Yes. In fact, we're working on a Final Fantasy game for the Revolution at the moment.
Awesome! Nintendo and Square are back together again, eh?
Yeah. This new game will be a continuation of the popular Crystal Chronicles series.
Square is now dead to me.
Why do people keep saying that?

 

by Rocketlex2000
7-18-05
Welcome to The Electric Playground. On today's show, we'll be talking with Nintendo about how Mario Party 7 will be different from Mario Party 6!
Gah! Where's the remote!?
After that, we have footage from some random convention you've never heard of, and we'll be topping it off with some corny CG thing we thought was funny at the time....
It's too late! My...MY BRAIN....
20 minutes later...
Now, where did you get the idea for your comic, "Darkened Shadow: The Enveloping?"
...Curse you, Vic...

 

by Rocketlex2000
9-14-05
HI1 I'M NINTENDO! I'M GOING TO MAKE A CONSOLE AND NOT TELL YOU ANYTHING ABOUT IT!
HII! I'M NINTENDO! I'M NOT GOING TO RELEASE DEV KITS SO NOBODY CAN MAKE GAMES FOR MY PLATFORM!
HI! I'M NINTENDO! I'M GOING TO TAKE FOREVER TO REVEAL WHY ANYONE WOULD WANT TO BUY MY NEW CONSOLE!
HI! I'M NINTENDO! I'M GOING TO DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO ALIENATE MY FANBASE AND NOT COMPETE WITH SONY OR MICROSOFT!
You seem a little angry in this strip.
What makes you say that?

 

by Rocketlex2000
9-28-05
Stage 1
OMG NINTENDO IS SO STUPID THEY'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stage 2
OMG THIS IS REALLY THE GREATEST THING EVER NINTENDO IS SO L33T!!!!!!!!!!!
Stage 3
How the hell am I going to play Super Smash Brothers?

 

by Rocketlex2000
9-30-05
Ha ha ha. I have a really funny image I'd like to show you.
Wonderful. Please, display this image so I may see it and enjoy.
< img src="http ://img181.imageshack.us/img181/2488/orlyerika3tn.jpg">
HTML doesn't work on this board. Oh well, I think I'll just leave rather than copying and pasting the URL. Too bad the effectiveness of your message was lost.
Don't let this happen to you! Remember, HTML doesn't work on the board...so STOP IT!
If only I'd just used [img][/img]...

 

by Rocketlex2000
10-01-05
As the creator and writer of Board City, I regret the tremendous oversight which inspired the previous comic.
HTML does work on the board. All one must do to see it is check an "Allow HTML" option in his or her profile.
Now, let's end on a positive note and bring out your favorite characters!
Is he talking about us?
Guildroin, there ARE no other characters.

 

by Rocketlex2000
10-04-05
Linux is the best. It lets you do all sorts of cool stuff if you get good at it.
I don't want to have to "get good" at using my computer. I'm happy with how my computer runs, now.
The file access system I have on mine is way more streamlined than anything Windows could offer.
That's nice. Look, I'm going to go play World of Warcraft.
I can play World of Warcraft, too! I can play it in 3D! The characters actually COME OUT OF THE SCREEN AND BATTLE ON MY KEYBOARD!!

 

by Rocketlex2000
11-12-05
In the moments when order stops...chaos begins....
Awww damn, we got snakes on this plane!
There's nothing we can do but stay alive!
...and the only thing you know for sure....
I love you, Nelville. I...I've loved you since BEFORE there were snakes on this plane.
Ya' damn right.
...is that there are SNAKES ON A PLANE! Arriving in theaters 2006!
Why, Doc? Why are there snakes on this plane?
Dammit, I'm a scientist, not a philosopher!

 

by Rocketlex2000
11-27-05
I view capitalism as a sort of religion.
So, under that religion, what happens to us when we die?
The amount of money you accumulated in life is tallied. If you made enough, you get to go to Heaven and experience eternal bliss.
What if you didn't make enough? You go to Hell?
And take that many souls out of the system? No. You get reencarnated into a higher income bracket and get to try again.
At what point do I get my virgins?

 

by Rocketlex2000
12-06-05
Under YOUR plan, it seems the only way to keep us safe is to hide in a steel bunker and nuke the rest of the globe.
That's a logical fallacy right there. You can't just make up a stupid result of someone's idea and use it against them.
What? What kind of fallacy is that?
It's called a...um...well it's a....I think...I don't know what the name for that kind of thing is.
Later...
So you think you may have invented a whole new way to be wrong about something?
I'm officially a master of not contributing to arguments.

 

by Rocketlex2000
2-09-06
So I was looking over Konami's Japanese site for info on the next Rumble Roses game and I found...
Wait wait wait. You're making a BOARD CITY strip about checking a JAPANESE website for information on RUMBLE ROSES?
Yeah, so?
It's all in the prophesy, man! When these three elements combine in a single place, the excess of Rocketlex-ness will build and transform you into the fabled Uberocketlex.
I AM FEELING A LITTLE DIFFERENT. WHY WASN'T I TOLD ABOUT THIS?
'Cause we kinda wanted to AVOID it getting to this point.

 

by Rocketlex2000
2-09-06
Hey 'Lex, you look different, today.
YEAH, I KINDA ELEVATED MY ESSENTIAL ROCKETLEX-NESS TO A LEVEL BEYOND WHICH MY PHYSICAL BODY COULD MAINTAIN.
It looks pretty cool, though. Does it hurt at all?
GOD, EVERYONE ASKS ME THAT AND NO, IT DOESN'T REALLY HURT AFTER THE FIRST COUPLE OF DAYS.
Well, I dunno. It's just that being a manifestation of pure fire energy looks like it would be a little uncomfortable, is all.
OKAY, FIRST OFF, IT'S NOT FIRE. SECOND, THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER,

 

by Rocketlex2000
2-09-06
So how do you like being a physical manifestation of your own, super-charged life force?
IT'S REALLY NOT AS FUN AS IT LOOKS. IS THERE ANY WAY TO REVERSE THE PROCESS?
Yeah, easy. You just have to do something totally out of character for you.
FUCK YOU! I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT, BITCH!
Well, that was fast.
What was?

 

by Rocketlex2000
3-29-06
Gamespot gave Rumble Roses a 6.2 and Rumble Roses XX a 6.6, so the series is obviously terrible.
So, if Gamespot were to give "Jumping Off a Bridge" a 10, would you go and do it?
Indeed, I trust Gamespot's scores with my very life!
I see...
Gamespot Offices
Hey, would you guys mind reviewing "Give Rocketlex All Your Money Like the Mindless Sheep You Are"?
Which console?

 

by Rocketlex2000
4-02-06
Where the hell are we?
This is the new background for smfKhakain.
What?
Every time we move to a new board, I change the "default" background for Board City to something new.
Hey! Don't be afraid of change!
I don't think that's the problem here.

 

by Rocketlex2000
4-02-06
No...
No...
What the hell is this?
I stopped caring a while ago.

 

by Rocketlex2000
4-02-06
This is kinda nice...
Wait, isn't this the original Board City default background?
FLASHBACK
Ill stop you, Falco X, and protect Board City from your evil.
Ha ha ha ha. You can;t do that, Rocketlex, because you're so pathetic.
Wow...I can't believe my hair used to look like that.
Who's Falco X?

 

by Rocketlex2000
5-08-06
You should have more racist jokes in Board City. That'd be funny.
Okay. How many racists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two! One to screw it in and one to complain about the clerk they bought it from.
That...That isn't exactly what I meant by...
Why don't racists eat ice cream? Because they're lactose INTOLORANT!
Are you even trying to be funny at this point?
Look at me, ahm a big ol' racist. Bettah run off or ah maht go an' persecute y'alls for bein' of a different ethnicity than m'self.

 

by Rocketlex2000
5-18-06
House-hunting in Phoenix
This house here is a nice one, and it looks to be in your price range.
It's really beautiful.
As you can see, it has an open floor plan, a large kitchen, granite countertops...
Yes, this is all very impres-AAAAAAHHHH! *WHAM*
...and a sunken living room.
I'll...take it...

 

by Rocketlex2000
6-15-06
You don't seem particularly stoked for today's mission.
That's because we've been told to investigate...ugh.... human mating rituals.
Aww, come on. What humans do is no wierder than the Khakainian mating dance.
Not quite as funny to watch, though.
I...WAS...DRUNK! Could we just drop it?

 

by Rocketlex2000
7-21-06
Selling the PS3
HEY! OUR CONSOLE HAS A MOTION-DETECTION SYSTEM, NOW, LIKE THE WII! YOU LIKE THAT, RIGHT? YOU'LL BUY OUR CONSOLE?
Uhh, no thanks.
BUT...BUT, WE'LL HAVE OBLIVION ON OUR CONSOLE!! YOU LIKE OBLIVION, DON'T YOU?
I HAVE Oblivion...
HERE, I DRESSED UP IN A CLOWN COSTUME! YOU CAN THROW PIES AT ME IF YOU WANT! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST BUY A PS3!
Get away from me.

 

by Rocketlex2000
11-18-06
Hello! I am new the forum and have links for what I show you am. Wouldn't you enjoy to click them?
Y...yeah, whatever. Goodbye.
Oh, son of a-....
How many here are phramacy that which they enjoy? Many links are below for superior pills.
Has Skynet just come online or something?
I dunno, man. Now help me find the one that was selling pills.

 

by Rocketlex2000
11-18-06
Man, am I glad those spam bots are gone.
They aren't. I've got them over there talking to each other! Look!
I popping to show you fantastic links.
That is very fascinating and I say this also of online phamracy.
So they'll just keep spamming each other forever?
Yeah, it's kinda disappointing. I was hoping to get them to mate.

 

by Rocketlex2000
11-19-06
Board City, 2:14 AM
You're up pretty late.
Yeah, I have really bad heart burn and it's keeping me awake.
Did you eat anything weird?
Half a bag of corn chips and some Slim Jims, but that was at LEAST 45 minutes ago.
Okaaay, maybe you could try a cold drink or...a doctor, I dunno.
Yeah, lemme see if there's any more of that grapefruit juice in the fridge...

 

by Rocketlex2000
12-08-06
And now, Joystiq.com presents a series of gripes about the Wii's online strategy, entitled "BUT XBOX LIVE DOES IT!!!!! WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"
Apparently Wiiconnect24 doesn't give users gamerscores to track their in-game achievements.
BUT XBOX LIVE DOES IT!!!!! WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
None of the games on the Wii's Virtual Arcade have free demos available to download.
BUT XBOX LIVE DOES IT!!!!! WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
I'm not feeling very subtle, today, so honestly, just screw you Joystiq.
Did you know Virtual Arcade doesn't have Zuma?
BUT XBOX LIVE DOES IT!!!!! WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

 

by Rocketlex2000
12-19-06
I'm just saying it doesn't matter if people get paid to recommend things. Any opinion, paid or unpaid can be wrong.
But shouldn't you be able to trust the people you're talking to?
Hell no. The opinions and impressions of others are meaningless. The only recommendation a person can trust is their own, anyway.
So...how does that philosophy work for you?
Later, at Rocketlex's Birthday Party
Aren't these chips delicious, Rocketlex? Why yes, Rocketlex, I do believe they are the best I've ever had.

 

by Rocketlex2000
6-12-07
Hi. Umm, this is G4TechTV. Are...are you still watching our channel?
Sometimes.
Oh, okay. Hey, what if we...like...had a show that gave you free electronics? Would you watch more?
Uhh, I...I guess...
Great. Maybe we could...have Morgan Webb host it or something. You still think she's cute, right? We...we have a monkey...
And, on that note, I take my leave.

 

by Rocketlex2000
6-14-07
And, in other news, reports of an ornate spacecraft sighted over California's Big Basin have come under fire recently.
Skeptics note the ship's impractical design and the elvish writing on the underside as clues to the ship's fabricated nature. More on this story as it develops.
Meanwhile, aboard the newly-remodeled Krallath-Takkan II...
See? I told you it would work.
Tee hee. Let's shape the deflector array like a pie tin.

 

by Rocketlex2000
9-02-07
So...you're going to an anime convention in the hopes of meeting girls?
Not entirely, I was just saying it could be a nice opportunity to meet someone.
Anime fangirls...ugh, you DO remember what happened the last time you tried this, right?
It's not gonna turn out like that...
The last time...
You love me now, don't you, Sephiroth? Love me or you go in the box...
I'm thinking....this...isn't working...out....

 

by Rocketlex2000
9-14-07
So you banned Lauren?
Yeah, she was causing way too much drama around here.
*crickets*
You know, she may have been onto something.
Hey, you want some too?

 

by Rocketlex2000
12-03-07
Twas Christmas Eve and all was well. No worries or sad tales to tell. No outward signs did yet betray that this would be a fateful day.
The people merry, filled with cheer, did not know danger was so near. While Earth was singing peace and love, such was not so a ways above.
For Christmas was unknown upon the deck of the "Krallath-Takkan." And so we join our stellar crew to learn of the day Christmas was screwed...
Why the HELL is my chair on fire?

 

by Rocketlex2000
12-03-07
Oh no, please tell me this isn't...
MERRY K'JISVA!
Ugh! Has it been a year already? And did you HAVE to start with my chair?
Gildroin, the offerings of K'jisva must be true sacrifices or they have no value. Where's your holiday spirit?
Spirit? Terridex, all K'jisva is is a stupid holiday where you run around lighting stuff on fire every year. MY stuff, specifically.
I know, isn't it awesome?

 

by Rocketlex2000
12-03-07
You DO remember what happened last K'jisva, don't you?
Oh, come on. It's not like I KNEW you were in that sleep chamber.
And the K'jisva before that...
Hey now, you can't pin that on me. The core probably would have gone critical anyway.
AND THE K'JISVA BEFORE THAT!
What? It's not like we were going to USE those escape pods.

 

by Rocketlex2000
12-04-07
Sometimes I think Gildroin doesn't understand the true meaning of K'jisva, you know?
Syntax error. Please rephrase.
Going out and buying ceremonial matches with your family. The light falling of snow on a windowsill you lit on fire. That's what K'jisva's all about.
Command not understood. Please rephrase.
You're right, Vimn. He DOES deserve a second chance. I'm going to show him the true glory of K'jisva if it's the last thing I do.
I do not know how to "DOES deserve." Please rephrase.

 

by Rocketlex2000
12-05-07
Terridex. I've been thinking. If celebrating K'jisva means that much to you, I won't get in your way, but...
But?
Celebrate somewhere other than the ship! There's a whole planet down there. Why don't you find something on Earth to burn down?
But what can I burn on Earth?
Is this the Christmas Tree and wrapping paper warehouse?
No, this is ten million letters to Santa Claus. You want the next lot over.

 

by Rocketlex2000
12-07-07
Stupid Gildroin...making me come down to Earth. How am I supposed to celebrate K'jisva on this freakin' rock?
Man, this sucks. Why did I beam down here? Even humans wouldn't just leave burnable stuff lying out in the street.

 

by Rocketlex2000
1-24-09

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