stripcreator archive (2001-2026)

make a comic : top rated : forums

Jump to user:

All comics by boorite

Profile

Ask me about knives.

 

Make your time by boorite 6-14-01
Wake up, Boorite. Shit, not you bastards again.	What's your problem? We never hurt you. It's your appearance! How would you like to wake up with some unearthly THING in your room, and it's LOOKING at you?	Is this better? GAHHH!

 

I know what I said by boorite 6-14-01
What program shall we watch on the television? I like draggin' ballz.		I think it is pronounced "DragonBall Z." I like draggin' ballz.

 

The lady or the Hole Hawg by boorite 6-14-01
Hey, big boy, wanna get rode hard all night long?		Is this a trick question? JUST ANSWER IT.

 

This is how it's done by boorite 6-15-01
Does my big fat ass make me look fat?	You bet your big fat ass it does!	That was original.

 

CC37: Conservative Compassionatism by boorite 6-18-01
		I knew Bush shouldn't join Habitat for Humanity. Don't worry. He didn't hit anything vital.

 

And Zen some by boorite 6-19-01
Boozer, I want you to be alcohol-free, so you can be happy.		I want the bottle to be happy.

 

CC 38: Not a summer sport by boorite 6-21-01
* urp *	* urp *	* KLUNK * I win.

 

CC 38: ok, not really by boorite 6-21-01
Summer in Siberia		Fuck, it's hot! My panties are riding up like no one's business!

 

CC 39: Jenna Bush is a hot little tramp, ain't she? by boorite 6-22-01
Hear me, Jenna Bush! Look at yourself, wasted and wounded... It ain't what the moon did. Are you here to smite me?	Actually, "smite" is a mistranslation of the original Hebrew. That's good news. What's the real word, then?	"Fist." I am SO gonna hurl.

 

CC41: Next rest area 1,437,901 miles by boorite 7-02-01
Pawn - King 4. Checkmate in 42, Dave.	Crap. Let's play something besides chess. I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.	OK, let's at least listen to something besides "Also Sprach Zarathustra." But you haven't heard the Fatboy Slim remix yet, Dave.

 

CC41: Open the pod bay door-- I'm getting out here by boorite 7-02-01
You just called me "Dave" 42 times in a row. You sound like a fucking insurance salesman. Yes, Dave. I can see you're upset about this, Dave.	Well, stop it! I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave. My programmers thought this would amuse you, Dave. They certainly seemed to find it humorous, Dave.	Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave.

 

CC41: Threepio is not necessarily gay by boorite 7-02-01
Oo weedo tay-hee tay-heeee!! I have no need for a protocol droid.		Well I ain't got no need for a beer-gut old desert shitheel with no ass, honey honey Miss Thang! *SNAP SNAP SNAP*

 

CC41: And he's fluent in Bocce Balls! by boorite 7-02-01
What I really need is a droid that understands the base-42 language of moisture vaporators. Vaporators! Sir -- My first job was programming binary load lifters very similar to your vaporators.	Really? It's just that you seemed kinda...	Did you mean to say binary load swallowers?? Them too, Miss Thang.

 

Man, evolution is a ripoff by boorite 7-02-01
It ain't fair, I tell ya. Very little is, in life.	I mean, my kind were around for 77 million years... ...shit, mine have been around for 400 million, and we're still here...	Yeah, and these shit-eating monkeys come along and just toss a bone in the air, and it turns into a spaceship! Can ya beat that shit?

 

The war has won by boorite 7-05-01
What is the abiding mood of your generation?	The fear that our leaders will destroy us all in a global holocaust. And you?	The certainty.

 

It doesn't wash by boorite 7-09-01
MR VENTURE CAPITALIST!!! IN OUR AWESOME BUSINESS MODEL WE FORM A STRAGETIC ALLIANCE WITH OUR SISTER COMPANY!!!! Sister company?	SOIL AND SOIL MILLENIUM TROUSER SOIL!!!!!!! I think I've heard enough.	THANK YOU!!! I WILL EXPECT YOUR CHECK!!! HEY DON'T STEP ON THE LAUNDRY MAT!!!!!!!!

 

CC 42: That's one way to score Vicodin by boorite 7-09-01
		For fuck's sake, Wirthling, it's just an ear infection. * moan *

 

CC 42: that 31-derful feeling by boorite 7-09-01
What's this all about, Doc? Wirthling took so much Vicodin, he went face-down in his Chunky Monkey.	Oh no! Not his Chunky Monkey!	Wait, are we talking about ice cream here? I doubt it.

 

CC42: Wirthling! Wirthling! Go into the light, Wirthling! by boorite 7-09-01
Doc? DOC? DOC!!! Can't you hear me? What's going on? There's nothing we can do, Nurse. He's... * sniff * ... he's gone.	Oh my God! That must be me on the table! I'm-- I'm dead! I can feel myself floating up, up... HAHAHAAAA! That's just a dummy with a sheet over it. Had you going, didn't we, sucker?	Whew! So I'm going to be alright? Oh, no. This was a practice run.

 

Bad joke derby: 20 questions by boorite 7-09-01
I'll hide my eyes. You write down a word, and I'll try to guess it in twenty questions. "Moose cock."	OK, let's see... can you eat it? Sure!	Is it moose cock?

 

Friday the 13th Part Gabe by boorite 7-11-01
Gabe! Is my daughter alright? What happened? She'll be fine. See, when we got to the honeymoon suite, I nailed up a horseshoe for luck, and it fell on her head.	Oh my! When you were carrying her over the threshold?	No, when I was banging her like a pawnshop gong!

 

CC 43!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by boorite 7-11-01
I WIN!!!!!!!!!! MAKE A COMICS ABOUT YOUR ANGRY!!!!	HAVE YOU HEARD OF SQUIRRELINE SPONGIFORM ENCEPHALOPATHY?????	NO WHAT IS THAT MR SMARTY PANTS!!!! MAD SQUIRREL DISEASE YOU HAPLESS FUCKNUT!!!!!

 

It ain't over 'til the big red robot anally violates you by boorite 7-12-01
		Well, it's one minute to midnight, and nothing bad has happened yet! All that worry for nothing.

 

CC 44: Die, Judge, Die by boorite 7-13-01
		How about "Dr. Light-in-the-Loafers?"

 

CC44: Crabby in the labby by boorite 7-13-01
		The FlensoMatic really works! Splendid.

 

This should help. by boorite 7-13-01
Hey Krinkle. I was the first ever to post a canine penis joke here. You know what that means.		ALL YOUR DOG DICK GAGS ARE BELONG TO US!!!!

 

Can't stand in the place where I live by boorite 7-19-01
I thought you were working on a comic about the Baltimore-Washington corridor. I am. I'm trying to think of how to use Stripcreator graphics to depict 6 million self-obsessed tools gunning their SUVs down the freeway at Mach 7.

 

Can't stand in the place where I live by boorite 7-19-01
I thought you were working on a comic about the Baltimore-Washington corridor. I am. I'm trying to think of how to use Stripcreator graphics to depict 6 million self-obsessed tools gunning their SUVs down the freeway at Mach 7.

 

DC stands for "drive courteously!" by boorite 7-19-01
... what happened ...?	Don't try to move, sir. You were going Mach 7 in your SUV when you creamed a Volkswagen full of nuns. We're gathering up the pieces now. Of the nuns, I mean.	... will this affect my insurance rates?

 

This live traffic report was pre-recorded by boorite 7-19-01
Now for traffic: An overturned truck slows you down on the inner loop south of town, and on inbound 66, there's trouble getting by a truck that turned over.	395 North jammed due to a flipped-over truck, and Rolling Road is closed because of a VW full of nuns, which a truck fell over on and crushed. Overturned trucks! Overturned trucks! It's always nothing but overturned trucks!	And if you're heading to downtown Baltimore, good luck getting past the trainload of hazardous chemicals that derailed and burst into nauseous flames. Cool!

 

The call of Nature by boorite 7-19-01
Ah, nature in the heart of the city! It's great to live in a metro area with so much greenspa-- *** dee dee dum dum deeep *** Hello? HELLO? YEAH, CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?	Sir, get off that phone, or your caller shall be treated to the sound of me shoving it up your ass and flinging you over the Falls. NOTHING, JUST SOME ASSHOLE!! LOOK, PICK UP AN EXTRA BAG OF BUGLES ON THE WAY HOME, HUH? NO, NACHO CHEESE!!!	Wow, he swins pretty good. Oops, no he doesn't.

 

CC 46: Death opens its mouth and says "ahhh" by boorite 7-20-01
How do I feel in my gloomy depths? Like the flat brink of a cloud, like a dark night in the autumn, a black winter day. No, darker than that-- gloomier than an autumn night. Dammit, Gabe, you should know better than to smoke Ritalin-laced clickums and listen to Amorphis. Nothing saps your will to live like Finnish rock music.		Nice tits, Dorothy. Wanna fuck? The name's Helmut. And yes.

 

Taliban everything by boorite 7-20-01
Hi, Qadratullah. Let's play the "Top Gun" soundtrack and send some greeting cards. Then we can light some sparklers and play Bridge on the computer! Alas, we cannot. All those things are banned! Also neckties, satellite dishes, fashion catalogs, and chessboards.		Let's have homosexual relations. OK!

 

Snap into a Slim DICK Jim by boorite 7-23-01
Hey BITCH-ASS Neal, whatcha FUCK eatin'? Hi, Tourette's Timmy. It's turkey jerky.	Turkey jerky? What kind of FAGGOT COCKSUCKER eats turkey SHIT jerky when he could GODDAMMIT have beef? Wait... is that the Tourette's talking?	Nope. BLOWJOB.

 

Joke joke. Who's there? by boorite 7-24-01
Knock knock.	Who's there?	An escaped serial killer.

 

Knock knock some heads by boorite 7-24-01
Knock knock. Who's there?	It's the police-- open up! It's the police open up who?	It's the police-- open up so we can beat you savagely. I don't get it.

 

Full court press conference by boorite 7-24-01
Mr. Ewing, by your own admission, you received sexual favors from strippers at an uptown club, right in front of your friends. Why?		Because I could?

 

Captain Long Briefs by boorite 7-24-01
Evil Dr. Pedantic! At last I have penetrated your lair. Your mad scheme shall never come to fruition!		What in blue blazes are you smiling about? Sorry, did you say something? I was scoping your hangtime.

 

Found a job by boorite 7-25-01
		It's

 

CC 49: I'm not making this up by boorite 8-01-01
Let's see... when I was 7, I played hooky with my older brother. And I used to clean up after his booze and pot binges so our parents wouldn't find out. At 12, my friends and I started stealing booze from our parents, and smoking cigs and rope. I was into my brother's Penthouses, which he got from an old queer who blew him while I waited in the car.	When I was 13, I got slightly busted for shoplifting and also climbing on the roof of a supermarket. I stopped doing schoolwork and drew nasty cartoons instead. I learned to make bombs. At 14, we my older pal got his driver's license, so we "landscaped" and burned half a golf course. There was a reward out for us, so we planted a rumor that one of our enemies did it.	Then he and I held up some convenience stores, and his dad bought off the DA so we went to the funny farm instead of jail. He's a preacher now. Our accomplice is dead-- he took cyanide from his lab. And I still wanna know WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE KIDS TODAY?

 

Pomo, Ohio by boorite 8-02-01
Two automatons steep in their banality. Gabe said you can't put too much water in the steam tractor. Really? Then let's pump that sumbitch slap full! The tractor, I mean.	Suddenly, annihilation. There is no God. My last thought was of badgers.

 

CC50 Example by boorite 8-02-01
At last, I've caught you! Ah, Max Load, my old friend. We are much alike, you and I, like light and dark sides of a mirror.	You know what I'm here for. Toss it over, or I'll blow us all to Hell. I'm afraid your pleas fall on limp wrists, for it weighs a ton and wants to give me a Violent Anal Dilation.	Well, you're the one who programmed it that way. Yes, I'm my own worst enema.

 

CC 51: At least they're not Scientologists by boorite 8-06-01
Mr. President, my organization would like to apply for funding under your "faith-based initiatives" so that we can provide outreach to young boys. Sounds jim-dandy! Tell me more!	We teach boys valuable skills and we keep them off the street. We give them unconditional love and a can-do attitude. We'll throw some Jesus in there if it gets us the Federal bucks. Say no more, you silver-tongued rascal! Please accept this here big-ass sack of money.	Uncle Dick, what does "NAMBLA" stand for? Oh shit! Did I forget to purge my Netscape history again?

 

Yes, I know it's winter down there, but so what by boorite 8-09-01
Rufus, open up. Someone stole my air conditioner, and I'm dissolving into a bubbling puddle of goo.	Tough luck, mate, but I can't be arsed to air condition the neighborhood, can I?	Uh, Rufus... about your "new" window unit...

 

Scotland needs more sheep by boorite 8-09-01
I'm the original Dolly!		No, I'm the original Dolly!

 

Comix Cup 3: A lifetime of development by boorite 8-09-01
The story of my preparation for this struggle goes back to my infancy. My big brother helped me realize my talent... WHAAAAA, I POOPED 'EM! HAHAHA! You're a fucking riot, kid! You're also adopted.	By college, I had the makings of a young Yahoo Serious, and afterward, I grew even more sophisticated. I'm doing my thesis on the literary onomastics of dead baby jokes. So the hooker sez to the Rabbi, "You gotta be having a manic episode with mood-congruent psychotic features!"	And now, so many years later, it all comes down to this. I pooped 'em! HAHAHAHA!

 

Stripcreator: Offal you can't refuse by boorite 8-14-01
Great news, Dad! My strip got picked up! So you DID amount to something. Looks like I owe your mom $20. Anyway, which syndicate, United or King?	Neither. Gambino. Uh, son...	Whew.. thank goodness it was all just a crazy dream. Excuse me, have you seen my body?

 

CC53: A big hand for Ernest Borgnine by boorite 8-15-01
Erin, Roger bet me a case of O'Doul's that you could give a handjob good enough to make a dead man come. I said you couldn't. Bet I can! I was Handjob Queen of my Senior class. I just happen to be applying makeup to the corpse of none other than TV's Ernest Borgnine, so...	Hours later... Nnnngh... my hands are gonna fall off... Sorry, doll. I'm gettin' nuthin' here. Not even rigga mortis.	Alright, already. Here's that case of O'Doul's that's been lying around the warehouse. For some reason, it came in a shipment of embalming fluid. Oh boy! Am I gonna get wasted tonight!

 

Tribute to Samir by boorite 8-17-01
Want to see some of my comics, Jesus? No. They're not funny.	How do you know? I know everything.	Then... No more stupid questions, please.

 

CC54: There's nothing quite so personal as a poke in the bag by boorite 8-17-01
Fukkachu! Electrifried conniption fit attack!! Homina homina homina! Fikki fi fo fi fi fikki fi fukku!	Wirthichoad! Wirthering sarcasmic flamestorm attack!! Hideous-transvestite-bunny-buttlove-dot-com! AIIIEEEE! Fuk u fukka!!!	Oh no! Wirthichoad has wirthered Fukkachu, my last and favorite Pokemon! I'm all out! What will I do? Hi, I'm here for the "Poke-a-Man" tryouts.

Showing page 4.

« Previous Next »