All comics by Bazilla

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by Bazilla
2-22-02
How was your day at work then?
Oh I got sacked again, something to do with suffocating someone.
Well, I've got a new idea for a movie, and I'll know it'll work!
Really, what is it?
It's about this dog, that goes around and saves every single dog in the kennel, and then they run over the kennel people in hilarious ways!
Well, I'm off to find another job (and another flatmate.)

 

by Bazilla
2-22-02
AND WHY DO YOU THINK YOU ARE THE BEST PERSON HERE FOR THE JOB AT "CORNHOLERS LTD."?
Well, I'm used to being cornholed, also I have the second longest cornholer in the world.
Oh, and is it possible if I can live here too?
RIGHT, OKAY YOU'RE HIRED, THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE TEST YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH NOW.
Really!? Oh good, what is it?

 

by Bazilla
2-22-02
Can you believe it!? He acutually thought I could cornhole, I don't even know what cornholing is!
Yeah, wow that's great for you and everything. Who are you?
Oh it's you! Any amazing ideas for a new film?
Yeah, there's this big plane, with thousands of people that hate flying on it, and there's these two people with bombs, and then one of them fights through scardom and saves all the passangers.
Wow what's it called?
No, that was the title.

 

by Bazilla
2-22-02
Yes, I'm here for my weekly cornholing, wait you're not Tobor.
RAAAAR! DEMON NEW EMPLOYEE, DEMON ALSO CORNHOLES.
Well you look just as good, ok.
What the fuck do I do! Um, yes, a pencil, that'll work. Ugh...
This dude sucks. Only Tobor knows how to fullfil my dreams.

 

by Bazilla
2-22-02
YES, WE HAD A COMPLAINT FROM OUR BIGGEST CUSTOMER.
Spankling!!!
HE SAID YOU DIDN'T FULLFIL HIS DREAMS! AND IT WAS SO NOT WORTH IT! SO AS OF TODAY YOU ARE NOW FIRED.
THERE'S JUST ONE MORE TEST TO DO BEFORE YOU CAN LEAVE.
Oh, I wonder what it is, oh wait *that*

 

by Bazilla
2-22-02
Hi again, feel like a drink?
Listen, as I said before, I don't know you. Besides I'm just here to pluck up enough courage to tell my wife I'm having an affair with her sister.
30 minutes (give or take) later..
So how did it go?
Honestly she took it alright, maybe too well.
Feel like that drink now?
No, now I'm here to pluck up enough courage to tell her sister that I'm sleeping with her daughter.

 

by Bazilla
2-22-02
Come here, I love you man!
Yeah, good for you.
Wow, it's stuff like this when you find out your real friends! Unlike that dude that slept with my wife and daughter!
I agree. To me! Your new friend!
o/`Show me the way to go home!o/` Take it Demon!
o/`I'm tired and I want to go to bed!o/`

 

by Bazilla
2-22-02
Ow, man my head hurts! I was really slashed!
Yeah, and me!
Hey girl! Where's those toilets?
Sorry, you got the wrong asain girl for that sort of thing.

 

by Bazilla
2-22-02
Hey, I had this new movie idea, and it's been accepted! I pulled a few strings and if you want you can have a part in it.
What's the part?
Well the movie is about a bunch of young kids playing for an unknown ice hockey team. They have a new coach who gets them all the way to the play-off final.
And then they face the New York Ranger kids coached by Mr. Nasty, and that's who you play!
Mr. Nasty!? No offence, but surely Mr. Devious wouldn't sound so stupid.

 

by Bazilla
2-22-02
Right, they accepted the name change, and here's your script. You should practice now.
Right so um *cough* Not so fast there Frank!
You may of got to the final easily, but your good luck run stops here!
I'm afraid you're wrong Mr. Devious, we will win. And when we do, we are going to go OTT and cheer the little kid that everyone thought was a retard that scored the winning goal.
This stuff is gold! How did you ever think of this!? So original!

 

by Bazilla
2-28-02
You alright there R2?
beep beep whiiir.
Translation:
No, I hate it, I have to run about everywhere, I'm cold, I'm scared of flights, and am completly fed up!
Good!

 

by Bazilla
3-01-02
Hello, and welcome to a new quiz where, due to over-population, two people come on the show, and spin the "wheel_of_death" whoever it lands_on_will_be_terminated.
And now meet our two contestants, namely Gnip and Diablo, and now to spin the Wheel of Death!
And the wheel lands on ....................................................^
Well, while Gnip is slaughtered, Diablo will you come back next time and risk your life to put population down?
Yes I'll try my best to stop the world becoming overpopulated.

 

by Bazilla
3-02-02
After 1 week Asaingirl and the squirrel talk about Spanklings exit.
He derserved to go, what with all the role-play he demanded take place.
I quite liked that.
After 1 week Asaingirl is talking about role-play.
What the hell is that!
What?
After 1 week and Asaingirl is becoming paranoid.
That! All I hear is narration! Describing everything I do!
Riiight, okay, I'm going to talk to that drunk man over there.

 

by Bazilla
3-02-02
I can't believe it, she killed herself!
So!?
So, she's dead.
So! It's now down to 5, and now there's more chance of winning.
Yeah, but I don't trust some of these people.
We have to work together though, to survive!

 

by Bazilla
3-02-02
As the night approaches, Elf tries to ensure his safety before the voting tomorrow.
I agree, you are really funny, and I think you're brilliant.
Shame, I hate you.
Mr. Cop seems to want to be voted out.
Hello, are you nervous about the voting tomorrow?
I don't give two shits!
It seems as if you don't give two hits, how may I help?
Wait!!!!

 

by Bazilla
3-02-02
As the night approaches, Elf tries to ensure his safety before the voting tomorrow.
I agree, you're really funny, I think you're great.
Shame, I hate you.
Are you nervous about tomorrows voting?
I don't give two shits!
It seems as if you don't give two shits, how may I help?
Wait!!!!

 

by Bazilla
3-02-02
KER-TRANS-FORM!
Transformers!
*gasp* You're not Dr. Pendantic!
It seems as if you were unaware of my devious trick, how may I help?

 

by Bazilla
3-02-02
You will now make your votes secretly, to make it secret, speak in a stupid whisper.
Well, I'm shocked at Clappy's devious trick, so my votes for him.
I'm going to vote for Clappy, because I want Mr. Cop to stay here and watch him go insane and blow up in a violent fashion.
I'm going to vote for Mr. Cop because I'm fed up of this stupid rock and want to get off NOW!
I'm going to vote for Clappy, because I think everyone else has, so I want to make it safer for me.
I want to vote for Mr. Cop, how may I help?

 

by Bazilla
3-02-02
After Clappy being voted off, the final four reflect.
NOOOOOOOOO! I WANT OFF THIS STUPID ROCK!
Yes! Now to get rid of the other 3 and I win!
Yes, it's all working, my tactical voting is a masterplan, and everybody likes me.
I wonder what everyones thinking?
Oh...no look, a fire, we need to be taken off this... crap island and... saved.
Yes, he's going insane, if he makes it to the final with me, they're sure to vote for me.

 

by Bazilla
3-02-02
3 weeks have gone, and Mr. Cop has decided to swim for his freedom.
No way am I staying there with a weirdo-short-arsed-skinny-pointy-eared elf....
A stupid-dumbass-look-at-me-I'm-so-devious squirrel....
and a drunk!

 

by Bazilla
3-02-02
Isn't this exciting, being free, doing whatever you want.
Yeah, and in a few days it'll all be over.
Wow, I wonder what it'll be like out there.
Well for you, you're be the famous elf, everyone will be jealous because you were on tv.
WOW!
Yeah, and Squirrel would be back climbing trees, stalking whoever he wants because he's a celeb. (And I'll be the best, the winner, with everyone screaming my name.)

 

by Bazilla
3-02-02
And now, will you make your votes, cutting it down to the last two.
I'm going to vote for Squirrel, because I want to get further and become more famous like the drunk said.
I'm going to vote for Elf, I don't want any competition here to be the shortest.
I'm going to vote for Elf, because I think I would get more votes than Squirrel easier.
Sorry Elf, you're not going to be in the final, how do you feel?
Nooooo! My fame, all the other elves will mock me for being a loser! Uh I mean, I'm happy for the other two, they deserve it.

 

by Bazilla
3-02-02
Can you believe it!? We're in the final 2!
Yeah well as you can't vote for me, I hate you.
I hate you too, it's now up to the other votes, who do you think will vote for you?
I don't want to brag, but all of them.
Yeah right, we'll see whose laughing when they raise my arm.
Yeah, right before they cut it off and give it to me for good luck, or was that rabbit's feet?

 

by Bazilla
3-02-02
Will you now make your votes on who you want to win Survivor Striptease 2002!
Squirrel, let's just say he didn't hate the role plays if you know what I mean.
The drunk, as I feel Squirrel is probably the reason I killed myself.
The drunk, I have my reasons, I just don't want to share them.
Honestly, I don't care, lets say Squirrel for the hell of it.
I'm voting for Squirrel, they were both cocky bastards, but you could stomp on him, I couldn't though.

 

by Bazilla
3-02-02
Squirrel, you have won! What do you think.
I think I want my god damn prize!
And here it is, one..million....pesetas!
WHAT! I do all of this, and for what! 50 measly cents.
Fuck this! I don't need 50c!

 

by Bazilla
3-09-02
Brian gone out again?
Yeah, what can be that great at a pub?
Well, there's karoke night, strippers, alcohol, poker...
But we have all that at home!
Yes, but men like to pay, it makes them feel more independent.

 

by Bazilla
3-09-02
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM! How old is it now?
Uhhh, 23!
Bearing in mind I've already asked Dad.
Shit!

 

by Bazilla
3-09-02
Hello sweetie! Have you lost weight?
What! I used to be fat!
No, uh it's just...WOW! I love that new shirt!
I've had it for a year!
Um, uh, *ahem* I love you!
Oh you say the sweetest things! I love you too!

 

by Bazilla
3-09-02
Tough day at work Brian.
Not work no, driving home was dreadful, the poor state of driving round here is terrible.
How bad?
Well, when driving home in dense fog I must of past about a dozen maniacs doing an excess of 90 miles per hour.

 

by Bazilla
3-09-02
What did you do in school today Suzy?
I proved that a cricket's ears *are* in their legs.
Really! How did you do that?
Well, I got the cricket and told it to "shoe" and it did....
....then I took off all it's legs and told it to "shoe" and it didn't move, therefore crickets must hear in their legs.

 

by Bazilla
3-09-02
Mum? Why are farmers so stupid?
What do you mean?
They do the most stupid things.
What!?
They always put their gates in the muddy parts of the field! That's just stupid!

 

by Bazilla
3-09-02
So I says "Those smurf smurfs can't smurf smurfs by their smurfy selves.
SMURF SMURF!
All your smurf belong to smurfs
What the smurf are you smurfing about?

 

by Bazilla
3-10-02
Daddy Joseph, when I grow up, I want to do lots of tricks.
Only if King Herald doesn't kill you though Jesus.
..and put on hat on right! You look like a nark!
Shut up Mum! I'm not taking no shit off no-one!
OK Mum! I'm sorry! Can I come down now?
Not until you promise to do that water walking thing again! That's cool!

 

by Bazilla
3-11-02
Look at me, I'm a fucking flame retardent and I don't know what I've got next!
*gasp* TimeTable Man!
Damn straight!
What do I have next.
Maths you stupid retardent flame!

 

by Bazilla
3-11-02
I rock out, yet I've never been in a Bazilla comic. Probably because of my third eyebrow.
I've never been used either, probably because my eyes are stupid, and cannot be used in a fun way.
And just because I'm annoying I'm not used, it doesn't make sense, surely it should be like for like?
Never, just because I'm a bird head, I mean what's up with that!
Neither have I or any other "army

 

by Bazilla
3-11-02
I rock out, yet I've never been in a Bazilla comic. Probably because of my third eyebrow.
I've never been used either, probably because my eyes are stupid, and cannot be used in a fun way.
And just because I'm annoying I'm not used, it doesn't make sense, surely it should be like for like?
Never, just because I'm a bird head, I mean what's up with that!
Neither have I or any other "army

 

by Bazilla
3-14-02
Ladies and Gentleman! I give you the Holy Lamb!
I'm not a lamb, I'm a cow!
Shhh, I know but Holy Cow doesn't really sound right.
What's so great about a Holy Lamb?
Anyway aren't you a donkey?
No, just my mum.

 

by Bazilla
3-20-02
Man I really need a new recipe to go with this snowman melting season. Oh no it's Betty, I better pretend I don't see her.
Hi, hi Ben! Hows it going?
Oh, it's you Betty, well as you're here, could you make me some kind of hot-pot for me to sell?
I'm Betty Crocker! Who did you think I was?
You don't make hot-pots?
I make a big huge versatility of foods, but not hot-pots! But, if you fulfill my needs, maybe I could.

 

by Bazilla
3-21-02
Well, this has been crazy.
You could say Wilde.
Actually, I checked it up, and you can't, you can only call it crazy!
What the hell?
Don't ask me, I must've transformed.
I hate it when that happens.

 

by Bazilla
3-21-02
BANG! KAPLOW! Man this is crazy!
You could say Wilde.
No, actually you couldn't, I checked it up and only crazy is acceptable.
What the hell?
I don't know, I must've transformed.
I hate it when that happens.

 

by Bazilla
3-22-02
It sure is hot here!
I know, this weather is tiring, I'm thirsty.
Hey! Where's your missus gone?
Mrs. Splat? Oh shit, I knew we forgot something!
I never realised how great it is to shop on Saturdays. I got some ice lollies for my husband, I can't believe they named them after him! And then someone spilt some ketchup over me.
And the great thing is, no-one noticed!

 

by Bazilla
3-23-02
This is Italian-o Man
Ciao!
He is trying to improve his English.
Si, true is thata
He decided the best way of doing this would be to vist SCland.
Me very drunko!

 

by Bazilla
3-23-02
Mr. Tobor, me need help with Inglese.
CALL TOBOR, TOBOR PLEASE. I KNOW VERY LITTLE ENGLISH, BUT ALL IS WORTHWHILE.
NOW, REPEAT AFTER TOBOR: RAAAAAR!
RAAAARIO!
NO YOU IDIOT! JUST RAAAAR! I CAN'T PUT UP WITH THIS, I'M LEAVING RIGHT AFTER YOU TURN AROUND!

 

by Bazilla
3-23-02
Kajun, will lei help me inglese? No?
Well, there's one line that can get you very far in StripCreator.
Bazilla I fucking hate you!
Bazilla, I fucking hate you!
Yes! um Si, lei will get far-io!

 

by Bazilla
3-23-02
Ciao! Inglese is improving!
BWAAAAK!
Me no know this wordo!
BWAAAAK
BWAK? No, uh BWAAAAK, SI! I got it-a!
What the fuck is he talking about?

 

by Bazilla
3-23-02
*gasp* It's the person I want to become!
Hello, meet my friend!
Hello, meet my friend! I got it!
Och! Mae wee bairns!
Cannae ginae monaay?

 

by Bazilla
3-23-02
I nialed teh fucking bitch rite aftor I rapped her.
Che?
Aaaaand cut!
Sorry about that, anyway I'm a nice guy really, I'm maarried, I have two children, and tonight I'm having a romantic dinner with my wife.

 

by Bazilla
3-26-02
You know, really Bazilla is pretty cool.
Kajun was flammable.

 

by Bazilla
3-27-02
RAAAAAR!
I believe it is acutually "RAAR!"
So, that's how I thought of Tobor being pregnant.
moh! Wait, I look excatly the same.
TALK ABOUT LACK OF INSPIRATION, THIS SUCKS!

 

by Bazilla
3-29-02
Fuzzy's Restaurant - If it doesn't kill you, you're in the wrong place.
Yes, I'll have some acid please.
As you wish.
Fuzzy's Restaurant - If it doesn't kill you, you're in the wrong place.
Mmmm, thank you, may I have some alkali now to even it out?
Of course.
Fuzzy's Restaurant - If it doesn't kill you, you're in the wrong place.
I feel different, as if I'm a stupid annoying twat.
Oh god no, he's turned into Bazilla, he better not sue!

Showing page 5.

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