All comics by Drexle

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by Drexle
11-29-01
What are you talking about? Of course I'm clean!!! Just because I'm a working girl don't mean I got nothin'.
Clappy!!!
Crabby!!!
Crabby!!!
Clappy!!!

 

by Drexle
11-30-01
So father, what are we to do about the world?
I've been giving this some thought...
That tone in your voice... you don't mean?
The Final Judgement.
Time to lay 'da smack down on dat sunsabitch!
Drop some plates, son.

 

by Drexle
11-30-01
This just in, it seems that the Lord GOD in heaven has declared the final judgement.
In_a_statement_issued by the Heavenly Associated Press, he said "LET NO CREATURE GREAT OR SMALL STAND IN DEFIANCE OF MY WILL."
In financial news, the glut of new souls heading to their final fate is expected to seriously lower their value on the open market.
Well, Shit!

 

by Drexle
11-30-01
As I'm sure you've all heard, the big guy in the sky has declared Final Judgement... we can't let that happen! So I'm sending my best man to take care of things on Earth... SPANKLING!
*Grrrrr...*
Eep!
*Snarl!*
*Snort!*

 

by Drexle
11-30-01
Interview with the President of the US
Sir, what do you have to say to the claims made by the Taliban that Allah has finally decided to destroy our evil nation?
We've decided to enact our new anti-terrorism legislation against God. He will not stand befor...
Above you, Mr. President, look out!!!
*Whoosh!!!* *SLAM!!!!!*
Score!!!

 

by Drexle
12-02-01
Excuse me, but could you tell me...
I DO NOT SUCK DICK!!!

 

by Drexle
12-02-01
(*Wank_wank_wank*) Hey_there,_sweet_cheeks! (*Wink*)
Umm, excuse me... but I couldn't help notice that you're masturbating in front of a mirror.
I'm the hottest thing in town, bud. I can't get off unless I can feast my eyes on the best.
Ah... you do know that the world is going to end soon, right? Final Judgement, and all... look outside.
Outside? Why? I'm already looking at the best thing on the planet right now. (*Wink*)
Hmmm... Vanity: Check!

 

by Drexle
12-02-01
...So you see, that's why the world is shit and should burn.
That's nice, Mr. Wrath... but I'm afraid that's not what I'm after. Besides, Jesus is already full of nails. NEXT!
The end of the world? Please... let me go back to the couch and watch the rest of the game... hey, you got any more beer?
Mmmm... Maybe a bit too slothful...
Hey there, tall dark and deadly, wanna have one last fling before the end of the world?
Lust? Ooooh yeah!!!

 

by Drexle
12-02-01
Okay Mr... Spankling? What can I do for you on such short notice?
Look, I'm in a bit of a bind and I don't know who to turn to right now... I figured that if anyone were evil enough to help me it would be a lawyer.
Ahah... Okay, then what do you need?
Well, Satan picked me out of all the demons in hell to stand up to Jesus Christ and save the world from the Final Judgement... but how can I beat him? He's Jesus!
... Hmmm... Oooookay. Assuming you're for real on this one, have you ever heard of a thing called "Public Opinion?"
... Tell me more of this "Public Opinion."

 

by Drexle
12-02-01
So you're telling me that you were sent by Satan to save the earth from Jesus? And you want our station to not only broadcast the battle, but publicize it as well?
Think of the ratings... You know you want to.
And you want us to spin the events to make you look good? What the hell do you take us for? This is a battle of Good and Evil here! He is good, you are EVIL!
You work in the television industry... you already sold your soul to us to get where you are... shall we collect now, or later?
...So... How does prime time sound?

 

by Drexle
12-02-01
Jesus
Spankling
Both preach that only through suffering can a man enter Heaven. But ask yourself... which suffering do *you* prefer?

 

by Drexle
12-02-01
What Jesus Preaches...
Thou Shalt Not Kill!!!
What Jesus Does...
Above you, Mr. President, look out!!!
(*Whooosh!*) **SLAM!!**
Score!

 

by Drexle
12-02-01
Hi, folks... I'm your neighborhood submissive and my Master wanted me to share a few words with you all.
Masters_in_a_position_of power over you have a responsibility to treat you well, and to respect your saftey. Like Domina here, who mercifuly gave me 90 lashes instead of 100 when I gave the safeword.
Do_you_think_that_your lord God is looking out for your safety in his Final Judgement game? If not, send him your safeword in your prayers. If he doesn't stop, then that what kind of Dom is he?

 

by Drexle
12-02-01
Confound it all! Why have my miraculous powers fallen wan these past few hours?
Spankling?! Purveyor of sin! Why do you profane my presence with your existence?
I'm here to stop you, Jeeves. Just you and me, mano a mano. Massochist vs Massochist.
Why do you have that camera crew with you?
C'mon, chump change! You a pussy or somethin'? You gonna dissapoint the viewers at home who want a fight?

 

by Drexle
12-02-01
And just how do you propose to defeat me? I have the power of God behind me.
Oh yeah? Well I have the Deciples of Destruction!
Gluttony!!! I'll sit on you!
Hey there, you losers... Love can't be bought, but a night of lust is yours for $50 an hour.
No way, bitch! By the power of Greed, I haggle you down to $5 and this lump of moth ball impersonating a crack rock.
I DO NOT SUCK DICK!!!

 

by Drexle
12-02-01
Heretic, you shall Burn!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! Everyone, use your safeword!!! MILKDUDS!!!
PORK CHOPS!!!
CRACK ROCK!!!
MONEY SHOT!!!
I DO NOT SUCK DICK!!!

 

by Drexle
12-02-01
H-h-h-h-h-how!?!?!?!?
Through_the_power_of_the contract of consent, your powers are null and void. Now bugger off back home, and don't come back until you learn how to play nice!

 

by Drexle
12-02-01
I'm sorry father, I have failed you...
Jesus Christ, can't you do anything right?
Bu-but-but... Their hedonistic laws overcame the power you ordained me. What was I supposed to do?
You're grounded!
But Dad!!!
No_"buts,"_young_man! I'm afraid you've cost the world its salvation. I_hope_you're_happy.

 

by Drexle
12-02-01
I can't believe it, you actually stopped the Final Judgement!
You didn't think I could do it?
Not really, I just wanted to see you get kicked around by the holy army. I was resigned to lose the whole Soul Market.
Ah... umm... so now that I've done your bidding, can I have some...
I know what you're going to ask for... MORE TORTURE!!!
Eep!

 

by Drexle
12-04-01
RAAAARRR!!! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!
Ho! Ho! Ho! I'm_Santa_Claus! Here just in time for the holiday season to ring in the celebrations!
*SNIFFLE* BUT TOBOR WANTED TO FILL PEOPLE'S STOCKINGS WITH CHRISTMAS CHEER!!!
That wouldn't be a euphemism for anal sex, would it?
.... YES.
Oh-Ho! Ho! Ho! Maybe I can work you in somehow... how do you feel about visiting all the little girls and boys on the "naughty" list?

 

by Drexle
12-04-01
One day, on the ranch...
So I says to the cop "Well them crack whores ain't gonna kill themselves."
Ha, ha!
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by Drexle
12-05-01
The place was secluded... just off the road, and yet just out of sight.
I wans't sure whether this place would be better for disposing of a corpse or for having a romantic interlude...
So I did both.
Grunt! Grunt! *Squish!* *Squoosh!*

 

by Drexle
12-05-01
Transformers...
Autobots, transform and roll out!
Voltron...
Form Blazing Sword!
Hardcore Porn... Young Drexle is watching you...
Oh... oh... oh god! YES!

 

by Drexle
12-05-01
What are you looking at, mommy?
Honey, isn't that one of those Cabbage Patch kids you've been begging for since you saw that commercial?
(Label On the Tag) "Wirthling: Death Certificate October 13th, 1984"
Eeeeew! It's some dead guy's head!
Can we buy it, mommy? Can we!?
Oh my... evil marketing is corrupting you!!!

 

by Drexle
12-05-01
Hey there, wanna take me home? I'm a Garbage Pail Kid...
No you're not, you're a homeless bum!
No seriously! I'm a Garbage Pail Kid. C'mon, can't you at least give me some cash? I'm hungry! Coleco doesn't feed us!
Fuck you old man, I'm out of here!
Your guilty concience is hauting you, kid! Don't deny it!!! Dammit, at least give me a snickers bar!!!

 

by Drexle
12-06-01
One day on the ranch...
So I says "I reckon them reefers ain't gonna smoke themselves..."
Ha, ha...
What the fuck were we talking about?

 

by Drexle
12-06-01
One day, on the ranch...
So I says: "If the rotor turbines generate gravitons by themselves, then the terrorists have won."
Ha, ha!
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by Drexle
12-06-01
I mean it, if you're not with the rotor turbines, you're with the terrorists. If you cry about losing all your gravitons, you're helping the terrorists.
Ha, ha!
__________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
You're scaring me now... seriously.

 

by Drexle
12-12-01
I have a riddle for you... see if you can help me out, here.
What's blue, white, bald, smells like stale pee, and lives in a trashcan on the sidewalk?
You gonna help me, or what?

 

by Drexle
12-17-01
There you are, ASSistant!!! I believe you dropped your lab report over there... Pick it up!
Over there? Oh, here it is...
Mmmm... scrumptuous male posterior... If only I could get my hands on some viagra...
Is there something wrong, Doctor? You've been looking for excuses to check out my ass all day?
Oh... well, I suppose it all started when I mixed_the_chemical formula_for_Butterscotch and Hazelnut ice cream to make my brand new "Buttery Nut Surprise." Appearantly it has a few side effects.
I see... so would you mind explaining_why TOBOR has been acting like... well... you know how he's been acting... Right?

 

by Drexle
12-20-01
Andy, I have a question.
Yeah?
Have you ever lost the biscuit game on purpose?

 

by Drexle
12-20-01
Hey, I got a joke for you! How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
C'mon, aren't you gonna ask me how?

 

by Drexle
12-20-01
Hey, did you see my entry just now? It was great!
Yeah, it was pretty damn funny, habnem... but you forgot something.
What are you talking about? It was perfect!
Ummm... since when does fuck know how to spell?

 

by Drexle
12-20-01
Hey there, Spankling.
Hi-ya, Andy.
Jeez, what's up with everyone abusing me in this contest?
I don't know. You know, I get that sort of thing all the time... people kicking me around, spitting on me, and humiliating me. I wonder why?

 

by Drexle
12-25-01
Pull!!!
*Whoooosh!!!*
*SPLAT!*

 

by Drexle
12-25-01
RAAAAAARRRR!!!! MUST AVERT TOBOR'S EYES!!! LITTLE HEARTY BOXERSHORTS ARE LIKE KRYPTONITE!!!

 

by Drexle
12-25-01
Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!
Yo, I gots da hos right here, old man.
I don't think you understand, young man...
I understands ya perfectly. I gots da finest snatch comin' right up. Here they are...

 

by Drexle
12-28-01
Its tiems leik tehse taht make want too wish yuo teh best sinserely from mye hart
Tahts sweet Iam so sadd now my hubsand has dyed
And tehres onley won way to show my fillings for yew. ILL BANG YURO BRANES INTO NEKST WENSDAY!!!!
NO!!! PLEEZE, DONT RAPE ME!!! HEEEEPL!!!!
Taht was sexaly satisfying
Ow I hurt now btu Im not theenking of mye ded husbnd ennymore. Tahnk you!

 

by Drexle
12-29-01
Teim too take it in the mowth, you fuckin bitch of a hoar!
I DO NOT SUCK DICK!
tahts neer stoped me befoar woman!!!
BUT I'M NOT A WOMAN, YOU FREAK WITH FEET FOR EARS!!!
Tahts what tey all say, yuo freek with dildo foar ears now open wide!

 

by Drexle
12-29-01
RAAARRRR!!! WHAT YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?!
I am teh mad rappist! I have uncunseshial sex with unferage grills.
RAAAARRRR!!! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
Jsut trye it!
RAAAARRR????!
Ha ha I haev no corn fro yew too hole now bend over hoar, Im gonna give yew a presnt.

 

by Drexle
12-29-01
Pull!!!
*Whoooosh!!!*
Yew fucken bitch of a hoar!!!
*BANG!!!*

 

by Drexle
12-31-01
Yeah, I was out at the bar last night with all the guys watching the ball drop. What did you do?
Uh huh-huh... You said "ball."

 

by Drexle
12-31-01
Hey Roger, happy new year! What's up?
Oh, not much... so, how was your holiday?
Oh pretty good... I spent it with my girlfriend on a trip to Europe where I got her 10 karat enagement ring.
Wow, sounds like you had a great time!
So, what did you give your girlfriend for Christmas?
Syphilis.

 

by Drexle
12-31-01
Now that it's a new year, I have something to tell you... I think we should see other people.
W-what? How could you say such a thing?
Because I'm evil.
Oh yeah, I guess so... wait, then why was I attracted to you in the first place?
Because I'm evil.
Oh yeah...

 

by Drexle
1-01-02

 

by Drexle
1-01-02

 

by Drexle
1-02-02
My boyfriend got me a 10 karat diamond ring for chrismtas and proposed marriage!
Wow, that's so cool! Did you say yes?
*giggle* Yes!
*giggle*
So what did your boyfriend give you for christmas?
Syphilis.

 

by Drexle
1-08-02

 

by Drexle
1-09-02
Somewhere in the World...
True Love...
Is Blooming.

 

by Drexle
1-09-02
Happy birthday, Pete!
Oh hey, you remembered? Wow!
Yeah, and I know what every man wants for his birthday... it's waiting for you in the bedroom. (*Wink*)
(*Drool*)

Showing page 5.

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