All comics by Hanbidge

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by Hanbidge
1-14-03
KAAMEEHAAMEE...
KAAMEEHAAMEE...
KAAMEEHAAMEE...
KAAMEEHAAMEE...
KAAMEEHAAMEE...
...I'm not even going to try to block ,dodge or counter this. I just want this nightmare to end...

 

by Hanbidge
1-14-03
So, you accept defeat?
...must...swallow... ...my...pride...
Do you admit to my greatness at games?
...argh...why... ...so...hard?
Well?
Best 2 out of 3?

 

by Hanbidge
1-14-03
...so, now that I know the controls, rematch?
Nope. Now that I've beaten you...
...I'LL NEVER PLAY AGAINST YOU AGAIN!
...you fucking cunt...

 

by Hanbidge
1-14-03
Hanbidge refused to play multiplayer games again, fearful of defeat. Now he only plays RPGs...
...oh, Aeris, why must I cry everytime?
Gaz took the defeat at Hanbidge's hands badly
I'LL KILL YOU, HIBIKI!
...for the last time, I don't even know who this Dan person is... (sob)
Embry failed to get served.
HA HA HA HA HA!

 

by Hanbidge
1-15-03
I hate Hanbidge.
Me too. I hate him because he never uses us in cartoons.
Really?
Yeah.
I just hate him.

 

by Hanbidge
1-15-03
We should kill Hanbidge.
No, we can't.
Why not?
We physically can't. Do you see any alternate poses for us at all?

 

by Hanbidge
1-15-03
We should hire someone to kill him for us.
But who?
I'll do it.

 

by Hanbidge
1-15-03
You know what Gaz?
What?
I'm going to find you a girlfriend!
...damn these humourous mid-adventures...

 

by Hanbidge
1-15-03
What makes you think I need a girlfriend?
Well, I've been really happy these last two months with Imogen, and I want you to be happy too. You;re always sad...
...this IS me happy...

 

by Hanbidge
1-15-03
...at a nightclub, Gaz is enjoying himself, when all of a sudden...
Hey Gaz!
...Christ...
I...
...listen Ol. I know you mean well, but I'm quite happy being single. I neither want or need a girlfriend.
Well? Where's this charming smooth ass pimping mother fucker you promised me, Hanbidge?
Sorry Avril, he's not interested anymore.

 

by Hanbidge
1-15-03
...at a nightclub, Gaz is enjoying himself, when all of a sudden...
Hey Gaz!
...Christ...
I...
...listen Ol. I know you mean well, but I'm quite happy being single. I neither want or need a girlfriend.
Well? Where's this charming smooth ass pimping mother fucker you promised me, Hanbidge?
Sorry Avril, he's not interested anymore.

 

by Hanbidge
1-15-03
I turn into a big cock-shaped rocketship.
What about you?
Check it out: Porno!
Damn! You must get ALL the chicks!

 

by Hanbidge
1-21-03
Gaz goes on as usual
hey like im soooo the best guitarist
yes of course you smelly son of a bitch
Yes this strip is soooooo valid!
Woah. You said bitch. Last time you edited that out. Still, no punctuation. Guess you're just not cultured.
i'll swear if i want to you boggoted nazi
Goodbye decency
This strip isn't really that complicated, honest. Oooh! Look over there!
this strip may be good but that doesn't mean it's better

 

by Hanbidge
1-21-03
Ho ho. If i pretend to be asleep, my girlfriend will wake me up with a handjob...
Get the fuck out of bed, your bloody breakfast's on the table!
I could have made a joke about him wanking now, but that'd be crude...
Bollocks, I guess this huge vibrator shoved up my backside will have to suffice.

 

by Hanbidge
1-21-03
Hey Gaz, I didn't get that joke about me seeing Swingers.
How is this my problem?

 

by Hanbidge
1-21-03
Gaz goes on as usual
hey like im soooo the best guitarist
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US
Yes this reference is soooooo valid!
...the fuck?
MAKE YOUR TIME
Goodbye grip on reality
This makes no sense at all...
TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU NOW!

 

by Hanbidge
1-21-03
Gaz goes on as usual
hey like im soooo the best guitarist
yes of course you smelly son of a b***h
Yes this text box is soooooo valid!
What did you just call me?
...I'm sorry. I'm just trying to cover up my feelings. I...I love you, Gareth...
Goodbye Gareth
(sob)

 

by Hanbidge
1-21-03
Gaz goes on as usual
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
whats the matter you smelly son of a b***h?
This is actually quite a valid argument!
I'm getting pretty fucking sick of this now!
What do you mean?
Goodbye something
I mean, LOOK at me! I could be playing some sort of generic grunge guy! Fuck this, I'm off!
just because looking grunge is good doesn't mean its better

 

by Hanbidge
1-21-03
Gaz goes on as usual
...um...
Yes this argument is sooooo valid!
...ack...
Goodbye Gareth
FUCK!

 

by Hanbidge
1-21-03
Gaz goes on as usual
Motherfuckers!
Yes this argument os sooooo valid!
What the hell am I supposed to do now?
Goodbye Embry
Go and try to get served.

 

by Hanbidge
1-22-03
Danger danger!
What is it, Robot?
High Voltage!
Really? Where is this dangerous high voltage?
When we touch! When we kiss!
Dick

 

by Hanbidge
1-23-03
Gaz meets Dick Valentine, singer of 'Electic 6'. It's NOT Chric Cornell.
Don't you want to know how we keep starting fires?
Was it something like this?

 

by Hanbidge
1-23-03
What the fuck's going on?
Shit, the lights have died...
How are we going to carry on performing for these stupid fuckers, I mean, adoring fans?
I can't see my instruments!
I SHALL LIGHT THE ARENA WITH MY GROIN!
...christ, Dick, any excuse to take off your pants...

 

by Hanbidge
1-23-03
Hi Ol.
Hi Joe.
I didn't get any of your comics.
Why not?
Was because they were shit?

 

by Hanbidge
1-23-03
Hi Imogen!
Hi Mooky!
Is that guy growling at me?

 

by Hanbidge
1-23-03
Hey Imo, what are you doing?
Reading "Johnny The Homicidal Maniac" again.
Stop that fucking growling right now!

 

by Hanbidge
1-23-03
Ha HA! My time machine is complete!
Imogen, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Probably.
Stop growling at me.

 

by Hanbidge
1-23-03
Hi, you must be Oliver's friend, Gareth!
You must be Imogen!
Dude, I'm talking to your girlfriend. Why aren't you growling at me?
...ahem...
HA HA HA HA YOU STUPID CUNT!

 

by Hanbidge
1-23-03
Wow, Winona Ryder looks extra hot in prison gear...
...hey, you're not growling at me. Aren't you jealous?
Meh.

 

by Hanbidge
1-24-03
Hey Gaz?
What?
Who's Tyler Durden?

 

by Hanbidge
1-24-03
I only have ONE thing to say to you...
Dick?
...um, no, not at all. I was going to say something far more adult than that...
Oh?
LA LA LA LA I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU!

 

by Hanbidge
1-24-03
...alright Gaz, I've done a little research on this "Tyler Durden", and I still don't understand the joke.
...for God's sake, Tyler Durden was in "Fight Club". He isn't real. I was implying that Imogen wasn't real.
...oh, that makes more sense now...
What dya mean?
Seriously, there is a glamour model named Tyler Durden.
I thought you were perhaps likening my girlfriend to glamour model Tyler Durden.
You bloody moron.

 

by Hanbidge
1-24-03
Oliver has such a loose grip on reality.
I remember the time he first saw Dragonball Z
He spent weeks running round College, shouting about he was "Prince of the Saiyans"...
He tried to blast me for Christ's sake!
And now there's this "Imogen". You know what I'm talking about?
Aye. He still asks for Saiyan armour at Christmas.

 

by Hanbidge
1-24-03
...wow...
What?
You really do look a lot like Brad Pitt. I thought it was just a coincidence.
Aye.
...just a shame there's no-one who looks like Jennifer, ain't it?
Shut it, bitch!

 

by Hanbidge
1-24-03
So, you're not real then?
Nope.
Tyler, you are the coolest not-real person EVER!
Damn right!
...sob...
You're WAY cooler than Goku!

 

by Hanbidge
1-24-03
So what is there to do if you're not real?
...well, seeing as I'm played by Brad Pitt, a lot of girls fantasise about me.
Sweet!
Not really. They tend to have self-confidence issues, due to the fact that they cannot find a real man.
Also they're ugly.

 

by Hanbidge
1-24-03
Oliver, who are you talking to?
...what?
Tyler says you're a dick.

 

by Hanbidge
1-24-03
I don't get it.

 

by Hanbidge
1-25-03
Hey bitch, I only paid £6 for Clerks too!
Big fucking deal.
You've spent upwards of £100 on the action figures, comics, shirts and CDs.

 

by Hanbidge
1-25-03
Oh yeah, I worked out a way to prove Imogen's existence.
Oh aye?
Aye. Smell my hand.

 

by Hanbidge
1-25-03
Hey slutlord! I've got a bone to pick with you! What's this about that pansy Tidus being cooler than me?
Oi! Why are you ignoring me?
...oh yeah, I'm not real...

 

by Hanbidge
1-25-03
While we seem to be stuck on the subject of Fight Club, it turns out that my neighbour Glenn has it on DVD.
Ah, so you watched it then?
Fuck no.
We watched "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" and "The Horrible Doctor Bones".
...fuck Tyler and Imogen, I wish YOU weren't real...

 

by Hanbidge
1-25-03
Androids 17 and 18 have destroyed humanity...
Bollocks. What the hell are we gonna do now?
How about I fuck you?
Naff off.
I told you to spare some of the women, didn't I?

 

by Hanbidge
1-25-03
Goku has survived the Androids' attacks...
You horrible monsters! You've killed my family and friends! I'll make you pay!
NYAAAAAAA!
I hope his body's still warm...
When has that ever bothered you before?

 

by Hanbidge
1-25-03
Life sure is good since Doctor Bones fell on that control box and got electrocuted to death.
Yup. It sure would be bad if he mysteriously came back to get us, even though we saw him die.
Christ, this film's going to be even more shite than the first one.

 

by Hanbidge
1-25-03
Look out, Hip-Hop music!
What's up? Is The Horrible Doctor Bones using Hip-Hop to turn people into zombies again?
No. I just hate Hip-Hop.

 

by Hanbidge
1-25-03
I'm quite annoyed that you thought I wouldn't know that Tidus wasn't real.
I mean, LOOK WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO!

 

by Hanbidge
1-25-03
Right then, I'm off to Mars, to conquer the Martians!
But why? They let you go once Voldur was defeated. And Droppo is acting as the Martian Santa Claus.
I know.
I should be more specific: I'm going to anally conquer their women and children.

 

by Hanbidge
1-25-03
...ha ha ha, here we are, Mars!
Hmm, something is missing...
Insert Hendrix riffing here
That's better. There's nothing better than anal conquering to "Voodoo Child"...

 

by Hanbidge
1-28-03
Well Joe, I've an important English exam tomorrow, so I better be prepared.
How are you going to get prepared?
Quite simple really. I'm going to drink a litre of Hobgoblin.
Dick

Showing page 5.

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