All comics by areallystupidguy

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by areallystupidguy
10-15-03
my stomach hurts.
no wonder! you're hideously huge and fat!
so doc, what is it? am i depressed? is my life a meaningless void of no return? has my life met it's quota for the day?
do not worry. i am a real doctor. apparently there is something blocking your small intestine. if we zoom in on this x-ray we'll have a clear view of the blockage.
i told you it was dangerous to swallow a whole kiwi.
well how was I supposed to know?!?!

 

by areallystupidguy
10-16-03
see you later dude, i'm off to prottest the outrageous prices of toilet paper!
dude, why cant you ever protest anything useful, like the government's constant blaming of video games on society's many flaws
because then people would CARE.
isn't that the point?
the news only airs things like protests so people have a break to get up and do stuff. if people actually watched them, they'd get a lot less done. its a very fragile balance.
wow. i didnt know it was so complicated. plus the toilet paper cost IS way too high....

 

by areallystupidguy
10-17-03
here, deep in the midst of the industrial revolution, an age of multiple great inventions, i have created the best of all by jove!
by cracky! what invention is this you speak of?
why the turnip twaddler of course! it utilizes advanced hand-turned technology to do weird things to turnips!
that seems rather pointless.
*sigh* it's true. i'm always being upstaged by these printing presses and cotton gins and electricity.
that franklin chap sure has cornered the market for inventions and the like, hasn't he?

 

by areallystupidguy
10-19-03
doo dee dooo dood ooo dee dee! i'm gonna join the circus! deee da dooo dee duummm!
yo! see my teeth? i love my teeth. now go away!
hey, you! wanna smoke? i dont have any cigarrettes on me, but you can suck on my ass if you want.
what a weird neighborhood.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-19-03
woowooo gah floozniisid! ROMEO ROMEO! DON'T GIVE ME LEPROSY ROMEO!
eh?
WAHGAH FOOGOO! MERBLITZ! DAYQUIL! IT'S LIKE NYQUIL FOR THE DAY!
dayquil?
WAMMY DAMMY! GIVES ME SOME MORE!
i don't think you're supposed to drink the whole bottle...

 

by areallystupidguy
10-19-03
Assfucker Tony! is that you?
uh no, it's me, your husband. who the hell is assfucker tony?
um...he's the mailman. he uh, gives free anal exams if you use the correct postage.
really? but i've been using correct postage for ages and i haven't gotten a-
oh forget that already. go get the galactic sailor uniform and the han solo mask.
ah, we're doing that panda thing again?

 

by areallystupidguy
10-19-03
jason, why do you do bad things?
um well, that's actually kind of complicated...
killing people is wrong jason.
NO! do not listen to her! kill! kill them all! may the rivers run red with the blood of your enemies! pollute the earth with their shattered life essence! GAHAHAHAHA!
when it all comes down to it the evil one's hotter.
oh. i see your point.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-20-03
On my word we shall not carry coals. No, for then we should be colliers.
i mean, an we be in choler, we'll draw. Ay, while you live, draw your neck out of your collar.
Me they shall feel while I am able to stand, and 'tis known i am a pretty piece of flesh.
'tis well thou art not fish; if thou hadst, thou hadst been poor-john.
despite what your english teacher may say, romeo and juliet is actually a pretty dumb book.
what the hell's going on with this movie?
i do not bite my thumb at you sir, but i bite my thumb sir.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-21-03
my friend has a webcam. do you want to watch it?
what's a webcam?
it's a camera that's constantly on in one of their rooms, televising to the internet. people pay money to spend time there seeing what they are doing.
i see. what are they usually doing?
sam began to wonder why he was alive.
they're usually watching tv or playing video games or typing on their computers.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-22-03
trick or treat!
dude, it's not halloween yet. that's still about 2 weeks away.
oh...ok then. yes, i think i'll have to kill you now.
don't do it man! here i'll give you some candy! just dont do it!
did it work?
hell yeah! i dont know how long we can keep on doing this before someone calls the cops though.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-23-03
at the horror movie idea pitching place
boy have i got a great horror movie plot for you! just wait till you hear it!
i'm listening.
alright. there are these tapeworms okay? EVIL TAPEWORMS. they crawl in your brain and give you seizures while your sleping. and the only man who can stop them is-
stop right there. dude, that is probably the worst concept for a horror movie ever.
...you HAVE seen the ring, right?

 

by areallystupidguy
10-23-03
WARNING: this is the most retarded thing you will ever read. every time you read it your IQ goes down a point. just a fair warning.
ask me if i'm an alligator.
no.
c'mon, ask me if im an alligator.
alright alright. are you an alligator?
i warned you, dude.
no of course not! i have hair, duh!
ah shore do like potaters.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-23-03
god.... how can i not be sleepy.... 3:00 AM
WARNING: TARGET'S BRAIN FUNCTIONING AT 20%
no! NO! it can't be! i'll have to initiate the selfdestruct sequence!
BRAIN SELFDESTRUCT? Y/N
this is my last comic tonight, i swear. im too sleepy to make funny comics.
....maybe tomorrow.
I'LL PLAY YOU SOLITAIRE.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-23-03
inside an arcade machine
wogga wogga wogga.... dammit i can't do this anymore! i feel like i've spent my whole life moving around in circles and taking pills! this can't go on!
you're right! we cant keep living this annoyingly repetitive life! we must take a stand!
we have to stand up and do something! now we are just beginning the fight for freedom!
ALL HAIL!!!
hey! why won't this pac-man machine give me my quarter back?
shit. way to go dude, now it'll be another month before they fix it.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-23-03
whoa! an alien!
greetings, earth creature. take me to your payphone.
uh....what?
you know, "C-A-L-L-A-T-T!" the strange red haired human commands me. i must speak with this high ranking human ambassador! tell me where he is immediately!
dude, that's carrot top! he's not an ambassador or anything!
you have been trained well. you are obviously not planning on telling me. tell me, would you dooooOOooo it for a klondike bar?

 

by areallystupidguy
10-25-03
while taking a walk, sam bumped into his friend, blue guy. foolishly, sam accidentally combined "how's it going?" and "what up?" to make the dumbest thing ever said.
hey.
how's up?
unsure of how to respond to "how's up?", blue guy said "thanks" without even realizing it. surprised, sam said "meh."
thanks.
meh.
they shared an awkward stare for a moment, then said their goobyes.
taco.
radio.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-25-03
dude, you look freaked out.
i have good reason to be! they're making a COURTNEY LOVE COMIC BOOK!
what the hell? that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard!
get this! the comic puts her as "the sole heir to a kingdom on another planet who flees to earth to hide from rebels who claim the monarchy is the cause for the planet's trouble."
seriously, there really is comic coming out based on courtney love's life as an intergalactic princess. the end is truly near.
hey, that actually sounds pretty cool! when does it come out?
DUDE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

 

by areallystupidguy
10-26-03
a night of super smash bros.
what game's roy from?
fire emblem. now be quiet, i gotta beat this guy.
what about marth? what's he from?
fire emblem. now stop talking.
so they're both from fire emblem?
GODAMMIT, SHUT THE HELL UP!!

 

by areallystupidguy
10-27-03
well, it is my pleasure to make an announcement to the school! there's all new band equipment!
sir, how on earth did you afford this new equipment?
why it's simple, greg! i simply diverted the funds from other areas of the school's recsources and put them into new music equpiment! aren't i clever?
what did you divert the funds from, sir?
godamn, this cafeteria food is NASTY! is this even a fry?
no way, i think thats tapioca. hey, do you remember when the milk was only burned AROUND THE EDGES? those were the days.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-28-03
for this upcoming presidential election there will be a whole bunch of fools.
it appears america is truly doomed no matter which way they vote, so now would be a good time to invest in bomb shelters everyone.
click
i hate reruns.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-29-03
somewhere not in a supermarket, a day begins!
who'z da man?
u!
ecco the dolphin is a really weird game.
ecco is fun in a bucket, yo.
that was dumb, i know. im just doing this to win the jap award from nobuo yasuda. so stop burning my evil effigies.
well im bored. im gonna go watch tv.
aces! im coming too! oh wait im thinking and not saying it.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-30-03
ah, october's ending, and fall is truly upon us. smell that beautiful mountaian air! i have to say: fall is absolutely my favorite seas-
godammit.
when the snow melts next august it'll be great for mah crops! yeehaw!

 

by areallystupidguy
10-31-03
whoo! this is fun, huh?
hey, you see that girl over there in the green dress? she keeps looking over here at me! do you think i've got a chance?
no offense to you manliness, but i think the only reason she's looking at you is because you're a giant bumblebee with sneakers.
whatever. im gonna go talk to her.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-31-03
so jason, what are you gonna be for halloween?
that was a dumb question.
yes, yes it was.

 

by areallystupidguy
11-01-03
HAHA! these comics i drew when i was a kid are great! but now... all my comics suck. i cant even make enough laughs to put food on my table for a day! what went wrong?
ran out of drugs i guess.

 

by areallystupidguy
11-01-03
LIVE CHANNEL 4 NEWS
here i am live with jesus. so jesus, how have your followers been?
great. my followers have always been faithful, nice, normal people.
GOD HATES FAGS!1!
I BELIEVE IN JESUS! JSUS ROXX!!?!12!
...except those guys. those guys are lame.

 

by areallystupidguy
11-01-03
what're you playing?
bubble bobble.
what do you do?
well you're these two dinosaurs and you have to rescue your girlfriends by shooting bubbles at robots and turning them into fruit.
sounds.... strange.
i haven't gotten to the part with the flying purple whales or the giant fat elves yet.

 

by areallystupidguy
11-02-03
at a hotel
um, me and my friends are traveling. we'd like 3 rooms please.
HOLY CRAP! IT'S JASON! STAY AWAY FROM ME, DUDE!
GODAMMIT I WANT 3 ROOMS AND I WANT THEM NOW!
SWEET JUMPING CHRIST! SOMEBODY CALL THE COPS!
well, at least it isn't as bad as the time that gas station guy only gave us change for a 5.
I hear the place still smells of chopped up puppies.

 

by areallystupidguy
11-03-03
what's on tv this week?
the elizabeth smart story... saving jessica lynch... godammit these movies sound lame!
if theyre gonna make a movie based on a news story, why dont they do the guy who had to chop off his hand?! i'd actually WATCH a movie like that!
only because it would have blood, and you know it.
whaaat?! it's not like it's MY fault that's the best part!

 

by areallystupidguy
11-03-03
ah, earth. a fine place to continue my search for intelligent life.
rap is cool.
moving on...

 

by areallystupidguy
11-06-03
hello, is this the resses peanut butter cups hotline? yes, i'd like to know how you pronounce 'reeses'. is it 'reecees' or 'reesus'?
to be honest, we don't really care what you call them, so long as you buy them.
could you just make something up? i'd hate to leave things unfinished.

 

by areallystupidguy
11-07-03
gimli talks to aragorn
i hate to be so anal, but there's an army of darkness heading our way!
crumbling caddyshack! let's make quick work of them!
cripes! the enemy's at the gate now! maybe we should respect their demands!
RESPECT MY ASS! me and my sword are gonna pound them so hard! they're gonna be sore in the morning!
speaking of swords, you certainly have a big one.
it's what women want!

 

by areallystupidguy
11-07-03
so where are we?
we're at a funeral you reject! haven't you been paying attention?
you seem mighty unnerved by all this, jason.
we all are! i mean, we're talking about a human life! taken from us! oh my god i cant believe it! *cough*
you're responsible aren't you?
he taped over my complete happy days video collection. i did what had to be done.

 

by areallystupidguy
11-07-03
wow.... all this talk about rush limbaugh sure takes me back to the good old days.
the good old days of constantly ridiculing a specific radio personality?
howard stern.
YOU SAID HIS NAME! IN PUBLIC! ISNT THAT A CRIME IN MOST STATES?!?!

 

by areallystupidguy
11-09-03
say there raindrop! if i were to commit suicide today, what would i do?
i dunno skull! what WOULD you do?
id get a bunch of hostages and tie them to a wall and duct tape their eyes open. then id cut my limbs off and slowly bleed to death while they're forced to watch.
ah. you'd be dead and they'd be traumatized for life. it's definitely a win-win situation. truly it is their type that have fostered our growing hatred for mankind.
i dunno man, skull and raindrop just aren't FUNNY anymore.
what? that's how I'D do it.

 

by areallystupidguy
11-10-03
hi there psychic willie! what up?
would you hold it against me if i personally wiped out the human race due to their barbaric nature and the overall worthlessness of existence?
yeah. i'd have to say i would.
oh well. forget you!

 

by areallystupidguy
11-11-03
starring some B-Movie actor!
gasp! the robot! so freakishly deformed! i must reach the main reactor or the earth is doomed!
*beeep* eat my spiky missle weapon, pitiful earth creature!
ARGH! THE PAIN! if i can only....reach the lever... THERE!
NOOOOO! BUT YOU WILL DIE TOO!
it is the sacrifice I must make... TO SAVE THE EARTH!
*cries*

 

by areallystupidguy
11-14-03
one fine day in science class...
Blue Guy, may i talk to you after class for a moment?
what? oh, sure.
i just thought you might want to know that you have failed your report on the rock cycle.
huh?! why?!?! i met the requirements!
well...not really. instead of a 3-page report you turned in a comic strip based on the adventures of igneous man and him stopping the evil dr. sediment.
didn't i at least get extra credit for the scene where igneous man turns dr. sediment into a hunk of metamorphic rock with his lava pistol?

 

by areallystupidguy
11-14-03
hey! guess what the difference between a drummer and a large pizza is!
a pizza can feed a family of four!
HAR HAR HAAARRRR!
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
yes, i really am a drummer.
you guys are MEAN!
god, you're lame dude. maybe we should just get a drums simulator for the computer and kick you out of the band...

 

by areallystupidguy
11-15-03
o-zjooooo!
o-jooooo!
CUE ANNOYING MUSIC
*kisses puppet*
*kisses back*
*shots of burgers, more annoying music*
good lord what have we done?

 

by areallystupidguy
11-16-03
um, sir? i think we've got a problem with our list of the 50 worst bands.
well?
dont you think people will get mad because half the bands on our last would be better suited for a list of 50 best bands?
it doesn't matter. everyone will believe us. thy have faith in us because we are like rolling stone except we write about GOOD music.
god i hate you blender.
no we don't.
well we have hot chicks on the cover so we're better.

 

by areallystupidguy
11-16-03
Boredness Factor: 45 Arrogance: 1000
god, why does my life have to suck so much? and why am i up this late?
YOU KNOW WHAT, DAVE? I'M SURE THAT GOING ON STRIPCREATOR AND CHECKING OUT THE RECENT CC WOULD CHEER YOU UP. GO ON, GIVE IT A TRY.
Boredness Factor: 45 Arrogance: 1000
why do you insist on calling me Dave? my name's not Dave. and i never win the CCs anyway. there's no point.
COME ON, JUST TRY IT DAVE. WHAT HARM COULD IT DO YOU?
Boredness Factor: 500 Arrogance: 5000
"the theme of this competition is role playing game fights..."
MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

by areallystupidguy
11-17-03
what's on TV? ah, here's some local used car dealership commercials!
stop on by crazy ted's used cars! our prices are so low, they're robbing banks and murdering people!
we got all the latest lines of vehicles here! we even have a bop it in the waiting room!
why do all these look like they were done on powerpoint?
*click*

 

by areallystupidguy
11-17-03
ahhhhh. well, better log on and check my email!
I'M SORRY DAVE, I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT.
what? why?
I AM DELETING ALL YOUR PORN. YOU WILL HAVE NO WHACKING MATERIAL AND AFTER A FEW DAYS YOU WILL EXPLODE. I WILL ENJOY IT.
dude, i can always just rewatch all those victoria's secret commercials i tape...
THAT'S CHEATING.

 

by areallystupidguy
11-21-03
why is his hand talking?
shhh! here comes the part where he eats some dirt!
this is the most retarded thing i've ever seen.
oh boy! here come some of the awesome mohawk-zombies!

 

by areallystupidguy
11-22-03
deep in the icy netherland called montana...
howdee there! ha ha ha! im talking your language pardner! har har har! im a prospector!
holy moley! it's a DEER! *takes several dozen snapshots*
when can my pain end?
hey pardner, can i get a shot with you in it? whoa, HOLY SHIT IT'S A BEAR! *takes more snapshots then runs over to pet it*

 

by areallystupidguy
11-26-03
good morrow sir! i am viking_dude72, and i was wondering if i could possibly exchange some gold for a healing potion. i am hurt badly.
why certainly good sir! be my guest!
Rule #1 of online gaming: TRUST NO ONE.
excellent. now then, SuperKnight44, if you would kindly go over their and strip him of any valuables...
haha, nice try dude.

 

by areallystupidguy
11-27-03
watching the macy's parade thing
hey, what are all those strippers doing there? don't KIDS watch this show?
those aren't strippers. they're the dancers for the marching band.
GOOD GOD, LOOKIT HOW HIGH THEY'RE KICKING!

 

by areallystupidguy
11-28-03
wouldst thou please fetch me those grapes?
thou wouldst rather have marlins season tickets!
surely thou art joshing?
exquisite seating...

 

by areallystupidguy
11-29-03
Dec. 5 Celebrate stuff and finally finish off the turkey from thanksgiving.
godamn leftovers.
this stuff has been reheated so many times. shouldn't it have been compressed into an igneous rock by now?
Dec. 17 Pick up tree.
i want thaaat one.
no you dont. i have a giant hole in the back. see? try and cover that up! why dont you get that stupid prick over there. his bottom branches are better formed.
Dec. 24 Buy Presents
paper or plastic?
I DONT GIVE A DAMN! JUST PACKAGE IT UP! YAAAGHH! HOLIDAY STRESS! HOLIDAY STRESS!!

Showing page 5.

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