All comics by CallumJStewart

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by CallumJStewart
6-07-06
In Opium, Robin and Callum discuss plans for next weekend...
Hey man, there's a fetish night at some club in town. Might be worth checkin' out.
Sure. Lemmie go change.
Fuck this.

 

by CallumJStewart
6-07-06
Now be careful! Remember last time you tried to fix something, you hit your thumb with the hammer!
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Idiot.
AAARRGGHH!

 

by CallumJStewart
6-07-06
Hmmm...
What is it?
I dont actually know, due to the fact that I am, in fact, not a real person. Rather, I am a two-dimensional cartoon character, and as such am unable to read and comprehend this letter.
Well, that sucks.

 

by CallumJStewart
6-07-06
We need someone to beam down to this unexplored planet which may or may not have an atmosphere consisting entirley of poisonous gasses.
Shee-it nigga, I ain't goin'.
Fine. Dammit. Uhh...send me one of the "volunteers."
Crazy foo' aint sendin' me to no goddamn crazyass planet. I be the damn science officer - I know what be down there!
Congratualtions, son. Your country's proud of you.
ohmygodohmygodohmygod

 

by CallumJStewart
6-07-06
Man I'm hungry. What would you do for a taco right now?
Kill an entire race of people.
Seriously? For a taco?
F*ck yeah.

 

by CallumJStewart
6-08-06
Penny for your thoughs?
I dunno...the more I think about it, the more I start to think Hilter might've been right...
Uhh...wow...

 

by CallumJStewart
6-08-06
Aw, man. This is a letter from UNICEF. That Ugandan child we sponsor has just died of malaria.
Well, at least we'll be saving 3 pounds a month.

 

On the set of IT CAME FROM PLANET EARTH...
Yeah, I dont like the scary sci-fi, stuff, but the kids love it. And, hey, this is HollyFlarg - you go where the money is, am I right?
by CallumJStewart, 6-08-06

 

by CallumJStewart
6-09-06
Wanna see a magic trick?
Sure.
Shazam!
Taa-daa!
Cool.

 

by CallumJStewart
6-09-06
Will you never learn?
I dont see why they got so upset...
You sang "Deutschland Uberalis" at a Bar Mitzvah. What dont you get?
So much for free speech.

 

by CallumJStewart
6-09-06
Hey - it's not that bad! Why dont you put the knife down and tell me what's wrong?
I just heard, Fox has cancelled The Bill O'Reilly Factor! I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR!!
You're such an a*sshole.

 

by CallumJStewart
6-09-06
You're such an asshole.

 

The E True Hollywood Story: Ray Harryhausen's third skeleton from the right...
Yeah, after JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS, the offers kinda started to dry up. After that I turned to booze and drugs and spent a summer in rehab. But would I do it all again?
by CallumJStewart, 6-09-06

 

Are you worried about the bird flu?
No, I like it. I think it's good.
by CallumJStewart, 6-10-06

 

by CallumJStewart
6-11-06
Hey, man! Wanna go see Wayne Brady tonight?
Only if I can put this nail into his eye.
What's the deal with you and Wayne Brady?
He's a traitor to his race.
Why do I even hang out with you?

 

by CallumJStewart
6-12-06
Look at this. Millions of black kids are living in poverty and are dying all over the US, due to the current administrations lack of regard for those who aren't rich and white!
Hmm.
Hmm? HMM? We need to do something about this!
They'd probably just grow up to become criminals anyway.

 

by CallumJStewart
6-12-06
Rueben and Me at the club...
Who's that guy with Maura?
Her new boyfriend. Dunno his name, though.
Hey man, what's your name?
Fuck off or I will smite thee with my powerful muscles!
He told me to fuck off.
What a cunt.

 

by CallumJStewart
6-12-06
What's the letter?
It's from the Deed Pool people.
Really? You changed your name?
Yeah. Meet Pimp Vader!
Oh for fuck's sake.
kick ass, huh?

 

by CallumJStewart
6-12-06
Your mother is being raped by Stalin's ghost.

 

by CallumJStewart
6-13-06
Uhh...hi. My name's Ethan and I'm here today to tell you about an amazing new product from Eruption Industries...
Presenting...fat goth chick!
Yours for only an eyeliner pencil and a Nightwish compilation CD! From Eruption Industries.

 

by CallumJStewart
6-14-06
"...and it is with great sadness that I must inform you of your uncle's death."
Oh my god...we'll neevr see him again...
Was he rich?
Huh? Oh, no...no, I dont think so...
Well fuck that...

 

by CallumJStewart
6-14-06
"...and it is with great sadness that I must inform you of your uncle's death."
Oh my god...we'll neevr see him again...
Was he rich?
Huh? Oh, no...no, I dont think so...
Well fuck that...

 

by CallumJStewart
6-16-06
In my country, we have much despair and poverty...
But--
...our people cannot work, and I cannot go to school because of the landmines...
But--
...we are ruled by an evil despot who will not give us bread to eat...
But I dont give a shit!

 

by CallumJStewart
6-16-06
Uh...hi. My name's Ethan and I'm here today to tell you about an amazing new product from Eruption Industries!
Presenting...Soldier of Christ!
Yours for only a rosary bead and an intense hatred for anyone who isn't white and Christian! From Eruption Industries.

 

by CallumJStewart
6-17-06
Hey, are you on MySpace? It's awesome! It's a great place to meet new and exciting people who share your intrests! You really should register!
Could you hold his hammer for me?
Sure. Wait...what're you looking at me like that for?
AAARRGGHHH!!!!
Fuck MySpace.

 

by CallumJStewart
6-18-06
...heymanwantsomeofthisshit..?
Enjoy your flight. Next.
Kill the White Devil!
Enjoy your flight. Next.
Good day to you, sir.
Uh...excuse me, you've been randomly selected for a security check.

 

by CallumJStewart
7-02-06
Hey, I'm thinking of a number between one and eleven thousand. Try to guess it.
Uhh...twenty-two?
Sorry, guess again.
Nine thousand and four?
Sorry, guess again.
Fuck this.

 

by CallumJStewart
7-02-06
Uh...hi there, Jaffy.
Umm...hello Mugs.
So...what's goin' down, Doc?
Oh, not much.
We're gonna get sued, aren't we?
Probably.

 

by CallumJStewart
7-04-06
SLAY THOSE WHO BETRAY ISLAM!
Good. Keep it up.
BEHEAD THE INFIDELS!
This oughta be good...
Death to all...uhh...line?
Oh for fuck's sake! The exact lines aren't important, just go into the American Emmbassy and shout stuff!

 

by CallumJStewart
7-04-06
Mr Bunny hops into town on a beautiful summer's day...
Hi, Mr. Bunny.
shutupdammitshutup
When good ole Mr Bunny's in townn, it's happy fun time, ALL the time!
Gee...whatcha gonna do with that?
dammitdontmakemedothis
Oh...oh my God! I mean...oh my God!! Mr Bunny, what...holy Christ...oh fucking Jesus...why, Mr Bunny, WHY!?!
AAARRGGHHHH

 

by CallumJStewart
7-09-06
In the old days, the funnies were printed on entire sheets of newspaper.
These days they're just the same two talking heads and over again with no action or characterisation.
Yep. They dont make 'em like they used to.

 

by CallumJStewart
7-09-06
Hi there. Ethan here, to present a brand new product from Eruption Industries!
Presenting...Disgusting Redneck Skank!
Hey, ya'll!
Yours for only a Rebel flag and a rag for the gastank!
Hell yeah!

 

by CallumJStewart
7-10-06
After one too many nails to the head...
Where am I? Is this Heaven? You must be St. Peter.
Yes, my son. I am St. Peter.
Meh. I figured you'd be taller. So do I get to go in or what?
Well...not exactly. You see, actually Osama was right - God was on his side after all.
I FUCKING KNEW IT! Damn! Talk about backing the wrong horse, huh?
Yeah. Sorry 'bout that.

 

by CallumJStewart
7-21-06
Hey listen buddy, my wife's pregnant and we need a room.
Yeah, sorry. There's no room here at the Inn - try the stable next door.
Meanwhile...
Hey listen buddy, my wife's pregnant and we need a room.
Yeah, sorry. There's no room here at the stable - try the Inn next door.

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