All comics by ChrisRock

 

The Asians are Attacking!! by ChrisRock 4-22-01
BRRRRRRRZZZZZ!! BAAAAAZZZZZAAAAAAP!!! Uh oh, a mad robot unleashed on the whitehouse. I'll take care of this! Cavalry HO!!	Wait, don't hurt me!! I'm just an asian girl. All us asians have giant robots. Oh, an asian! That changes everything! I know what to do in this situation.	The Pope: "Fuck" Now I am an American! And I am Drunk

 

!Rage Against The Machine! by ChrisRock 4-22-01
I've had it with this capitalist propaganda. Three's company too!	It's time I take a stand!! FIGHT THE SYSTEM!! Communism rules! Viva Castro! Viva la revolucion!	May 15, the Anarchist's Riot: He's showing frustration by not wearing deodorant and passing out "brochures" RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE!! Police Brutality! Hello little lolly pop or whatever you are. Would you like to join my riot? 12 cds free?

 

A man of my stature will not take such abuse by ChrisRock 4-22-01
This guy's askin for it Yo daddio. What the dizznack hepcat? I'm doing my Chris Rock impression.	THAT'S IT!! You 2 can burn. Chris Rock eh? That's good, for a novice. This is the real deal! I'm doing my Chris Rock impression.	TO HELL WITH YOU!! Blast you Chris!! Blast you and your unimaginable sexyness!! We should've known better than to mess with the godlike mighty one that created this genius of literary work graced upon this crappy website in the form of a comic.

 

Destiny is inescapable eh? NOT WHEN YOU'VE GOT A HAMMER!! by ChrisRock 4-23-01
Let's see my horoscope for the day! "You will be the hope of those around you. This is a great responsibiliy, your intelligence will be put to the test." hmm, sounds like I'm you're only hope T-Mac I'm depending on your intelligence!? Lemme see that!!	Yes! Exciting, isn't it? hm, whatta ya know. I was hoping this was just another 12 cds free brochure . . .	I can't help you from here T. Let's get it over with . . .

 

Mike is a failure by ChrisRock 4-23-01
Hello! I'm a happy squirrel! May I have some food? Dirty squirrels!! You're just rats with wings, get out of my face!! Btw, if I had any working muscles in my face, I would look VERY angry.	Rat with wings am I!? TRANSFORMO BLAMBLORMO!! This is where I make my get-away! Yo M!! Get down to business!! Btw, I'm running away in fear while my goon squad enters the scene. I wish I had a working face . . . curse you Dayquill!!	SHAVAHN CHOP!! Why do all my jobs end this way? . . . I hate my life. . . .

 

Scifi Racism by ChrisRock 4-23-01
Showdown I don't believe in Ghosts. I don't believe in Aliens.	Then we're even. It's settled.	The following morning . . . We don't have to worry about him. We've got them hicks shakin in their boots. I don't believe in no whitey cracka ghost. Zombie pride! Foo, get the steppin off my propaty befo I kick yo pale white ass. Shiiiii!

 

Scifi Racism2: With a Vengeance by ChrisRock 4-23-01
I'm going to end the government oppression of aliens tonight! At this trajectory your ship will surely burn up. I suggest a coord path crossing the 6.372 by 78.498 degrees of the Sun's xyz axis to the Earth's--(HMPH-VANISH!)	Stinking Asians and their "knowledge." I'm stinking to the manual from now on. (muffled)There's no air out here!! Giant Robot I summon you!	Ahhh, rednecks, never did me wrong! I have jerky, do what I say. It's them Aleeayn varments!! I dun be aybdukted! Just tell me where to put my pants Missuer Aleean. Do you carry Reader's Digest?

 

I swear, I didn't know he was combustible. by ChrisRock 4-28-01
Chris read some comics . . . My name is Chris Rock. I have noticed that it is popular to write comics about the frustrations of writing comics. INDEED!! Mind if we trade places?	They have traded places . . . Thanks. My pleasure.	THE TRUTH IS REVEALED!! I'm eating chocolate. Do you realize you're talking to fire? TALKING TO FIRE!? Another frustration of writing comics.

 

The REAL reason you never see age 70 Brothas playing pokemon by ChrisRock 4-28-01
Oizzone dizzay izzin thizza hizzood . . . Yo yo yo. 'sup bizznatch? welcome to myz hizzood g. WOOPWOOPDIZZOOP! You have insulted my family. Time for the political punishments! You must now choose between being locked in a room with a rabid janet reno, or . . .	foo, das wizzack yo! chill dawg! Fine yawl, I'll make my decision . . . hmm, what's worse? Janet Reno, or . . . No chilling will take place.	It's twisted minds like mine that send millions of japanese kids into epileptic seizures. HEY!! THAT GUY'S COVERED IN POKEMON MERCHANDISE!! You know what to do! LET'S GET 'EM!! My pants are already unzipped!

 

The Greatest trick the Devil ever pulled . . . by ChrisRock 4-29-01
For the last time!! My name is Jesus, I'm from above!! Above eh!? I knowed you were a dirty yank from the beginnin! You can't trick us god fearin southern folk!!!	SATAN!! I know your back there!! I can hear you! heehee . . . heeehee . . . BAHAHAA!	Damn you Satan!!! Your dad already tried that!! haha, these losers think I don't exist!! I made them eat paint!! hahahaha!! I love my job.

 

Don't give in to Austrailians!! Drink Vodka! by ChrisRock 4-29-01
One hot summer day . . . I'm very thirsty. Oh really? Well, I happen to work at Del Taco. I might be able to bring out a couple drinks if maybe . . . uh . . . you take off your shirt!!	I said I was thirsty, not australian you jerk. Well good luck finding your ownwater!! If your not taking off your shirt, I am.	oh no, I'm all out of water!! hey look, a vodka fountain! She'll be back . . . maybe I'll seem attractive if she's drunk . . . and has her eyes pecked out by a vulture . . . I hate my life.

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