All comics by JoshChrist

 

by JoshChrist
9-13-02
Meanwhile . . .
Ha ha ha. Those bastards at sea world will never find their stupid shark here
Alright, shark. You'll stay right there if you know what's good for you. I'm gonna go get me a Sausage McMuffin
Just then . . .
What's that smell? One would almost think there was a dead, rotting sea creature of great size hidden in the room somewhere . . . I wonder . . .

 

by JoshChrist
9-13-02
Jesus, will you grant my wish? I want to get rid of this stinkin' saddle rash
Sorry, pardner, I don't grant wishes.
Well what the hell DO you do then?
Basically I just hang here and creep people out with my bloody wounds and crazy, crazy eyes.

 

by JoshChrist
9-13-02
Hey there young ruffian, how about some spare change for a disgraced Nike Executive?
Sure! Let me just see what I've got here . . .
Whoops. No change. Would you settle for some pubic hair instead?

 

by JoshChrist
9-13-02
Meanwhile, in Smokey's Tavern
Yeah, it's just like when you're devouring your prey! The thrill of the chase, followed by ripping open their abdomen with your jaws, and drinking their hot, salty blood!
Know what I mean?
Um . . . no.

 

by JoshChrist
9-13-02
So yeah, let's go back to my place. I'll show you my Joy Division CD's.
I dunno . . . my mom said never to go over to the houses of strange boys. I might get raped and killed
Well, I'm not a boy, I'm a squirrel. Your mom didn't say anything about squirrels, did she?
Well . . . no. I guess it'll be okay then. Let's go.
Sweet. Let the rapin' and killin' begin.
Hey, do you have anything by Christian Death?

 

by JoshChrist
9-13-02
Junior, I don't want you spying on me and daddy doin it anymore. Even when we're doing that freaky illegal stuff with the chickens and the bacon grease. And stop stealing my meth. and GO TO CHURCH!
If you don't, Jesus will eat your soul
Okay . . . you're sending me some confusing messages here, Mom.

 

by JoshChrist
9-16-02
Awwww yeah. Nothing like whackin' it before bedtime. Now which will it be tonight . . ."Gumming Grannies 4" or "Heada Gobbler?"
Ooooo . . . . You'll not be whackin' it tonight, young pervert! Or any other night! I have come to take your soul to hell!
Yikes! Who the hell are you?
I am the ghost of ejaculations past!
. . . I thought you looked familiar.

 

by JoshChrist
9-20-02
A-HA! It seems that I have discovered the lair of the arch-fiend who kidnapped Sharky the Shark-Like Shark from Sea World last week!
The fool has gone out for a Sausage McMuffin . . . when he returns, I, Hank the Do-Gooder Pimp, will make him atone for his evil deeds! I'll just hide in the shitter . . .
Later . . .
Hey . . . . what's that smell? It almost smells like Hank the Do-Gooder Pimp is taking a dump in my shitter . . . I wonder . . .

 

by JoshChrist
9-20-02
Hank finishes his pooping and springs into action!
I have you now, killer of Sharks and eater of unhealthy breakfast foods!
I thought that was you Hank The Do-Gooder pimp. Let's take this epic confrontation outside. This panel is getting crowded.
Outside . . .
Right, now that we're outside, I will dispatch you as you've never been dispatched. How could you kill Sharky the Shark-Like Shark? Have you shame?
What . . . you mean Sharky's dead?
. . . You've had the decaying corpse of a large sea animal under your bed for a week and you haven't even noticed?
Well . . . that would explain the cats always clawing at the door.

 

by JoshChrist
9-20-02
I will avenge Sharky's death, scum! For you see . . .he was my lover.
Don't blame me for your brine-breathed love's demise, Hank. I didn't kill him.
You didn't? Well . . . then who did?
I don't know, but I'm willing to help you find out, Hank the do-gooder Pimp. My name is Steve. I will join you on your quest to find the murderer of Sharky the Shark-Like Shark!
Bless you, brave Steve. Let us begin our journey together.
Super. Hey, you mind if we stop and get some Sausage McMuffin's on the way there? I'm starving.

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