All comics by Moltar

 

by Moltar
3-02-04
Priest, don't do it...
Arr...I'd sell me soul for a rum. x.O
That can be arranged...heh heh heh
Really, I'm warning you...
Ye ain't so scary mate.
How bout you look at me in my TRUE form...
You Got Served!
LIGHTLINK!!! AHHHH!
Look at me, I'm a girl, and I'm so sexay.

 

by Moltar
3-03-04
Gamer meets Snake...
SMB3 is an awesome game Mr. Snake. There is no way your game can beat it.
Why do you say that kid?
...and speaks the truth.
Oh, you'll see.
Wonder what she means by that,
The Aftermath
Told ya so.
...

 

by Moltar
3-04-04
Samus waits for her man.
Darn it! Where is Pac-Man, our match is about to start!
Pac-Man?!?!?!
Sorry I'm late.
What the heck happened to you?
So THAT'S what it does.
Well, those pellets aren't the most healthy thing in the world to eat, and um.....Two words, Atkins Diet.
Oh...

 

by Moltar
3-05-04
The Almightly Comic Creator thinks...
Ok, next match I need to make a comic for is Phantasy Star vs. Contra. But I haven't played either game much, so I don't know what to do.
...but comes up with nothing.
Oh shoot, I forgot, the Internet can read your mind, and the Contra fanboys are coming after me!
That makes the Contra fans vwery, vwery angwy!
OMG, Contra PWNS j00r soul! Know j00r ROOTS!!111!!one! Let's get him and make him a follower!
Crap...

 

by Moltar
3-12-04
Location: Cloud's Laboratory
Master Cloud, we have run into our first victim, Pitfall.
Thank you for informing FanBoy. I have been getting tired of doing nothing so far.
Mission: Win the Contest
Last year, I was able to win the Summer Contest, now a Final Fantasy Game needs to take the Spring Contest. We must be known as the most dominant game series the world has ever SEEN!
...or make lots of love to the flower girl
Should I inform Aeris?
Yes, you shall. Thanks to this information, we will be having great sex tonight. MWHAHAHA!

 

by Moltar
3-15-04
Hunter meets bird.
I really like that Duck Hunt game, how about you?
...
Hunter threatens bird.
You not agreeing with me? This thing is loaded you know...
I hope the Dog is having more fun...
50 Cent tortures dog.
I don't know what you heard about me......Cause I'm a Motha f'n P.I.M.P.
I feel like I'm in hell. I'd rather listen to the DK Rap

 

by Moltar
3-18-04
Link and CJay converse.
Hey Ceej, what's the deal with my first game facing Adventure?
Well, see, I know that no one knows about that game, and well I got the bribe you sent me, so put 2 and 2 together.
Poor Ceej.
That bribe was supposed to get Ocarina of Time past Final Fantasy 7, you idiot.
Oh...
Poor Zelda.
Well...I had sex with Zelda.
Who hasn't? She didn't get the nickname 'Whore of Hyrule' for nothing.

 

by Moltar
3-23-04
Ceej has a problem.
Man, I just had the worst dream.
That's why you called me over? What happened?
Inside the dream.
Best. Summer Contest. Finals. Ever.
Oh my God! The finals of the Summer Contest is the Left Pong Paddle vs. the Right Pong Paddle! NOOOOOOO!
No comment here.
I couldn't believe it, I mean, the Pong ball owns them both.
...

 

by Moltar
3-23-04
Here at the International Alien Federation...
I am speaking here today on behalf of the whole IAF. The issue, the Spring Contest at GameFAQ's.com.
We all know that the 15 seed Galaga is facing the 2nd-seeded Tetris, and I am against that. It was HORRIBLY underseeded and I refuse to partake in this Contest. You all should do the same. Goodbye.
Yes, I didn't have any good ideas for this match.
Alright, the next important issue to settle.....Mario or Luigi, who looks better in a speedo?

 

by Moltar
3-26-04
An unfriendly welcome...
Ok Ceej, there is no way you're screwing me this time. This isn't the Summer Contest, and you can't put me against Mario.
WRONG! I set the bracket up so that you face at least 3 Mario games if you want to win! HA!
...between Crono and Ceej...
WHAT! NO! I must get those people to vote for me!
I'd like to see you try.
...only gets a lot worse.
I am an admin, vote for me, or I'll BANNINATE you!
I should have never given him those powers. Oh well, off to rig the polls again...heh heh heh

 

by Moltar
3-29-04
The match begins quickly.
Ok, Mario, just you and me on the street. Let's get fighting!
Ok, FYAHBAWL!
Is Mario the victor?
GYAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Too easy.
RANDOM ENDING'D
This time, your going down you disgrace of a character.
Crono, that's-a unexpected.

 

by Moltar
3-31-04
Hello Mr. Roboto
I am a robot sent by Dr. Robotnik, where is Sonic the Hedgehog?
I don't know, but I want to have your babies.
Hola Mr. Robota
I am a robot sent by Dr. Robotnik, where is Sonic the Hedgehog?
I don't know, but I want to have your babies.
Y helo thar Mr. Robot...ar
I am a robot sent by Dr. Robotnik, where is Sonic the Hedgehog?
I bet you expected LUEshi. Shining Force is awesome n00b! TEJELPAMMED, BITCH!

 

by Moltar
4-02-04
Argument with a nerd.
My game (SMW) is better.
Wrong. I have played The Simpsons game for exactly 984. 4 hours. It is much better than your game Mario.
Guess Mario isn't in the mood.
Forget this, I don't have-a time for this.
You'll see Mario, you'll see...*turns around*
The evil plan, IN THE DARK!
The plan went perfect my lord. He is more disgruntled than ever now. I calculate it is the perfect time to take him out.
Yeah, yeah, that's good......Man this is some kick-ass porn. Omega bon4r!!!111!shift!!

 

by Moltar
4-04-04
Knight vs. Cowboy
This is my opponent? Who the hell are you?
Why, I'm a Gunstar Hero, and I'm gonna beat ya today.
Cunning Little Link
Oh yeah? Well, you're goi....Oh My God! It's Zelda! *gets out bomb*
Where? Where? Man, I'm getting horny.
BOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!
Sucker..come over here baby, and I'll show you why they call me the "Hero of Time"...It's a metaphor for Sex Machine.

 

by Moltar
4-05-04
Let's pretend the water is oil...
Ok, time to get naked for our match in the oil pool.
Naked...uh oh, I don't have a naked sprite...
O_O
I'm ready, now you.
um....ok...here I go
X_X
OH MY GOD!
AHHHHH! My boobies are showing!

 

by Moltar
4-06-04
Ness faces the DoomBot.
You're going down. I'm gonna hurt you so bad.
DOOM!
That foolish boy...
PK FIRE!
AHHHHH
...he'll never learn.
...eep
KHAAAAAAAAAAN!

 

by Moltar
4-07-04
Back at Cloud's lab...
Great news, The 3rd installmemt of the series is up against an easy opponent.
3rd? You mean the 6th, right?
Final Fantasy 3 or 6?
Whatever, just letting you know.
Hold on, I'll ask my lover, Aeris. She'll settle this.
Cloud's more distrubed than we thought.
You do know she's dead right?
...NO! SHE'S ALIVE!...What happened to you Barret, you use to be so strong? *Nice change of subject Cloud. I'm too sexy.*

 

by Moltar
4-09-04
Back at Cloud's Lab...
Oh yes, YES! Get right there. YES OHHH! Aeris, harder, HARDER!
....*moan*
I thought Aeris was dead...
o_O. Aeris....that doesn't sound like you...it sounds like...LIGHTS!
Wait, I'm sorry, don't...
That explains alot.
TIFA! AHHHHHHH! I'm dirty!
Y helo thar STD, lolol.

 

by Moltar
4-11-04
Demonisaur and Roboticon
Rawr! RAWR!
Beep, beep. CLANG!
Cowlic and Sheepor
Moo! Moo!
Baa! Baa!
Gotta Catch Em All...
Gotta catch em all, Pokemon!
I wish I had blue hair and cool weapons like KOS-MOS. That would be off the heezy...What, her game is in this match too ya know.

 

by Moltar
4-12-04
Final Fantasy Fanboys
Those DDR people are lame. All they do is dance to a machine all day. lol
I know. I would much rather sit at the house and play FFT for 1,000 hours. Now that's a game deserving enough to win this Contest.
Dance Dance Maniacs
Those FFT people are lame. All they do is sit around and play their Playstation all day. heh
I know. I would much rather go out and play DDR for 1,000 hours. Now that's a game deserving enough to win this Contest.
My Second Appearance
One group will have it's game beaten this round. The other will have there game destroyed in the next round.
Who's side are YOU on?

 

by Moltar
4-13-04
The return on Snake...
You know Jill, you remind me alot of Meryl...
Umm...ok
Snake, that's rude.
Date me or I'll kill you.
I could whoop you anyday.
Now THAT's a good idea. TJF 4 Life!
Fine, but I can still stare at your goods.
*sigh* Boys.....

 

by Moltar
4-18-04
Heroes Re-United
Joanna, is that you? You look so different.
Yea Elvis, it's me. I'm kinda worn out trying to find info about "Alucard's Plan".
Alucard's Plan?
Alucard's Plan? That's crazy talk. Everybody knows Alucard's Plan is only a myth.
Can't be to sure of that...
Oh, Alucard's Plan...
They'll never find out my plan. EVER. It's so secret, I don't even know it. MWHAHAHA...Why am I dressed like the Grim Reaper?

 

by Moltar
4-18-04
I present to you...
The name's Bond, James Bond.
Ahhh, James, why did you betray me! Now I will come back and kill you!
Goldeneye in three panels.
James soo wants to do me, but he'll have to wait until the end of the game.
He'd rather do me, Xenia; he likes my boobs better.
'Kay?
I AM INVINCIBLE!
Now that I have killed 006, I can make out with Natalya for 5 minutes during the credits!

 

by Moltar
4-20-04
Mario faces...um
Ok Mr. Mario, I'm going to get your opponent for you. I hope I get it right.
Thanks-a little girl.
What's his name....
I am a robot sent by Dr. Robotnik, where is Sonic the Hedgehog?
Right company, but wrong game. He's from Sonic. I need someone from NiGHTS Into dreams.
...I'm drawing a blank.
MARIO! Your going down this time. I will beat every single one of your games! Who'll be the loser then Mario! HAHA!
...screw this.

 

by Moltar
4-20-04
This is my strangest idea yet.
Your my next opponent?
Yes master. I'll let you beat me though. Beat me bad.
It's so wrong...
Ewww...
Here, I'll use my magic to make myself a form more pleasing to you. KYAH!
...it's good. Like South Park.
SAMUS! Oh HELL yeah! We gonna get it on.
First, I want you to suck my man juices, then beat me with your sword a while. Remember, make it hurt bad. I like pain.

 

by Moltar
4-22-04
If Halo wins...
OMG, how is Starcraft losing! This is a travesty. That piece of crap Halo can't be winning. HAXXORZ!11!1111!! I'm leaving the board forever!
Well, at least I get a point...
If Starcraft wins...
WHAT, Halo is losing to some stupid PC game! Halo was one of the bestest games ever. It can't be losing. VOTE STUFFERZ!!!!11!!1 I'm closing my account.
Well, I only lose a point...
We're screwed either way.

 

by Moltar
4-24-04
Back at Cloud's lab...
Next match is Soul Calibur vs. Kingdom Hearts. Why did you want me to inform you of this anyway?
Because I make a cameo in it. That's pratically the only reason anyone bought the game.
...Cloud's gettin rowdy.
Whatever...
Better turn around, or I'll kick your punk ass!
Even I can't explain this...
SOUL CALIBUR!
OOOOKAY!

 

by Moltar
4-25-04
This comic...
You know, I'm not really Tetra, I'm really...
What? Tell me...
...is alot like...
Zelda! But you know, I'm not really Zelda, I'm...
...
a Pepsi Twist commercal.
This guy! But you know, I'm not really this guy, I'm really...
Is nothing sacred anymore?

 

by Moltar
4-27-04
You can do it Gordon...
Oh jeez, it's Samus. I like her so much, I need to think carefully about what I should say.
Hiya Gordon!
SCORE!
Samus...I love you and I think we should start a family. First I want you in my pants!
...Ok, whatever you say.
Ouch...Owned.
Really?!?!
No.

 

by Moltar
4-28-04
Back at Cloud's Lab...
Yo Master. Final Fantasy Tactics Advance is up against Fire Emblem now.
Hmmm...don't know too much about them. FanBoy, show me some clips of them on the big screen.
...they find out about there opponent.
Marth: I wish I didn't have to wear this new outfit and lose my sword.
Roy: Oh, don't be silly. Swords and blue hair were like, so 5 minutes ago. What's in now sister, is hoodies and bows. You look divine.
Maybe a little too much...
Heh, they should be no problem.
Oh no! Marth looks absolutely hot now! I'll never win!

 

by Moltar
4-29-04
Back at Cloud's lab...
Ooh, FFX looks to be a strong competitor in this Contest. It could even take down SSB:M. Excellent.
BOO! I am from....SHENMUE! You will DIE!
Inturder Alert!
Fool! You dare challenge me? I am the best videogame character alive! ULTIMA!
Uh-oh.
He Pwnz0rd him good.
HAHAHA! I'm Cloud Strife, bitch!
AHHHH!

 

by Moltar
4-30-04
Oooh, this looks to be interesting.
Hello, this is Carl Net, reporter for the Spring Contest 2004. My first interview is with Tommy Vercetti.
Sorry I'm not wearing a suit. I can't afford one because of all the medical bills I have.
The interview begins...
That is fine. How do you feel about Vice City's upcoming match with Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic?
Good. Infact, that reminds me of a burger I have in my shirt. It was good.
...and ends.
Umm...ok. That was my interview with Tommy Vercetti. Thanks for tuning in.
MAH HAMBURGER! I'm gonna masticate you up good...

 

by Moltar
5-01-04
Mario and Link...
Ness and Mr. Game and Watch...
and others vs. Snake
I represent the other characters in SSB:M!
Aw crap, I'm screwed.

 

by Moltar
5-03-04
Mario is missing.
Where is Mario? Our match is about to start.
Mario has arrived.
...your late...
I had to go fix some people's toilet troubles. I AM a plumber after all.
Mario is a liar.
...
Fine, I was at Peach's Castle doing...stuff...

 

by Moltar
5-04-04
*heavy breathing*
Fool, you think you can take down the mighty Cloud Strife! You might have put up a good fight, but I am clearly the better man.
Rumble in the valley.
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, A, B, START!
Oh no...Not the Konami Code!
KONAMI CODE'D
DIE!
DARN YOU CONTRA AND YOUR KONAMI COOOOODE!

 

by Moltar
5-05-04
This will be fun.
My opponent is a monkey?
A rapping monkey!
I think.
I should have no problem taking you down.
I have PETA to back me up.
Maybe not.
I lose?
You lose. Time to eat a banana!

 

by Moltar
5-06-04
Date: April 28, 2004
What happened to the GameFAQs homepage! It's HORRIBLE! Change it back Ceej!
Well, at least I can still look forward to the Pong vs. Tetris match pic.
Date: May 3rd, 2004
Eww, now the boards look ugly. It's all cluttered and too white. THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!
Well, at least I can still look forward to the Pong vs. Tetris match pic.
Date: May 9, 2004
Aww, Ceej didn't even put up the 'L' Shaped Block vs. the Right Pong Paddle match pic for Tetris vs. Pong!
My life sucks so much...

 

by Moltar
5-08-04
Crono and Mario...
How come your in so many different comics, and I am only in a few?
Because I have more games in the tournament.
...talk by the watercooler.
That's a lie! Why must you turn GameFAQs into a house of lies! Ceej loves you more, that's why!
...Yes, that's why. Ceej loves me more, just like how he loves people who vote stuff for my opponent.
Crono's not suppoed to talk though...
You Got Served!

 

by Moltar
5-10-04
The robot returns...
I am a robot sent by Dr. Robotnik, where is Sonic the Hedgehog?
So you are the robot that Sonic keeps running from. I should destroy you.
...and is burninated.
Ahh! Why did Robotnik program me to feel pain!
FYAAAAAAH!
3 minutes later.
I am a robot sent by Dr. Robotnik, where is Sonic the Hedgehog?
Eggman sure has alot of spare time on his hands...

 

by Moltar
5-10-04
Serious news.
Why did you call me here Samus?
I have something to tell you. Something really important.
Very Serious.
What Samus? Did something bad happen?
I...I...I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!
This comic was sponsered by Geico.
For all you car insurance needs, call Geico!
That number is..... 1-800-Go-Geico!

 

by Moltar
5-11-04
DOOM!
Prepare to face your DOOM!
DOOM!
KEFKA!
I'm Kefka, and I hate everybody and everything!
DOOM!
DOOM!
I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU!
You're mean, I won't play with you anymore...DOOM!

 

by Moltar
5-12-04
Back at Cloud's Lab...
Yo Master, FF7 is up against Xenogears now. Anything you want me to do?
No...I want you to begin preparing for...Operation X.
Operation X?
Already? Yo chief, dat might not be such a good idea.
Yes, we need to take it out before it reaches us...and stop talking like that FanBoy.
This guy are sick.
Sorry Cloud, been watching too much MTV as of late.
I watch Aeris, and you don't see me talking like her. Now go get me my vibrating chair!

 

by Moltar
5-13-04
Back at Cloud's Lab...
Finally, I have captured Cloud. After I elimanate you, there should be no more problems for me in the Contest.
Hmm...you seem pretty confident you will get past Final Fantasy Tactics. In my book, you won't even get to me.
Snake infiltrates the lab.
Now you di...
Oh Mah Gawd! There is a young, supple, 17 year old girl behind you!
Fell for it again, eh Snake?
Hey baby, look what I got. Some cond...HEY! SHE'S DEAD! THAT'S AERIS! YOU TRICKED ME!
I was telling the truth, I don't know what you're talking about. TELEPORT!

 

by Moltar
5-14-04
Alucard and James...
I'm telling you Bond, you'll never figure out my plan.
Trust me. The Bond will figure it out. The Bond always does.
...sitting in a tree...
The Bond thinks you have a nice home.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
Thanks, but I ain't telling you the plan.
The Bond's plan has failed.

 

by Moltar
5-17-04
The two Nintendo icons meet.
Imma going to beat you in this match. I am Mario!
No, I can prove to you that my game, OoT, is stronger than your game in this Contest.
Mario spaces off.
Ok, lemme hear.
*insert 5,000 word explanation of how OoT is stronger than SM64 in the Contest here*
*expected LUEshi/10*
*didn't listen/10*
OMG! I spent 10 hours thinking that up! I HATE j00!

 

by Moltar
5-18-04
Will Ceej help a brotha out?
Sorry to bother you at home Ceej, but you have to make Kingdom Hearts win over Starcraft.
Cloud, you know I love you, but I can't. I have to let the voters decide. You know that.
C'mon playa?
But you helped Mario win! Why can't you do the same for me! C'MON CEEJ!
*sigh* Good-bye Cloud.
Aww, that's wack man.
Well, back to Battle.net. These guys are giving me a crapload of money to have Starcraft win.
He doesn't know it's Monopoly money...heh heh heh.

 

by Moltar
5-19-04
Link and Samus meet again.
You again? I'll just beat you like I did before.
Man, your hot Link. Let's do it right here, right now.
And this time, they're doing more that talking.
*insert moaning sounds here*
*and here*
You should always masticate your food Samus...
At least he was easier to swallow than Ridley...

 

by Moltar
5-20-04
Back at Cloud's Lab...
Mr. Strife, what is your opinion on this match that puts two Final Fantasy games against each other.
Well, I didn't think Ceej would let this happen, but I will just have to deal with it. I just need to accept the fact that one FF game will lose.
Back at Cloud's Lab...
Also, how do you feel about the upcoming threat of Ocarina of Time, which will most likely face your game, FFVII, in the Elite Eight after it's excellent performance against Super Mario 64?
...I think Aeris called me.
Back at Cloud's Lab...
You mean that rotting body over there in the corner?
The truth...it BURNS!

 

by Moltar
5-21-04
The SSBM characters plan the attack.
Are we ready to strike?
Hold on, Donkey Kong's almost done with the distraction.
Vercetti better watch it.
...so then I switched to my assault rifle and blew him up good!
He's drunk enough now, GET HIM!
Yeah, Donkey Kong is still a rapping monkey.
DIEEEEEE!
Yo, be sure to pick up my new CD, Donkey Beatz, which drops in stores next Tuesday. Word.

 

by Moltar
5-22-04
The staredown between Mario and Cloud.
Only one character can win, and that will be...
Not again!
You blinked!
Aww damn it. Can we start over.

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