All comics by MsJG

Profile

 

by MsJG
2-06-09
This is from an actual conversation I overheard in an upscale restaurant in Las Vegas...
Well this sure has been an eventful trip... Barry finally asked me to marry him!
That's great... Congratulations on your engagement!
Now that I have the ring I guess I'll have to tell him that I'm a Scientologist.
WTF?
I think I'll do it on the plane ride home.

 

by MsJG
2-06-09
I told you he wouldn't fire you
Not exactly fired, no... The letter says that:
I have a new job with a different company that the boss found for me so I won't be working here anymore
Well, hey, it's like I said, at least you aren't fired
I'm going to go kill something now

 

by MsJG
2-06-09
Home: 9:00 AM Tuesday
Ow! Son of a b*tch! I can't believe I ran into the f*cking table. I think I broke my toe! I better call my doctor...
Dr. Cthulhu's Call Center
Both doctors are booked solid today and then won't be in for the rest of the week. Oh, and your insurance doesn't cover ER visits, sooo...
Dr. Cthulhu's Call Center
...you'll have to go the HMO approved Urgent Care Center. It's only 20 miles away... Oh, but you'll have to wait because they don't open until 6pm.

 

by MsJG
2-07-09
Friday Afternoon
I really kicked ass on that huge presentation I turned in this morning. I'm really proud of my work. Got kudos all around from the CEO & Execs!
I saw that. Awesome work! And you were really sick with the flu when you did it. Amazing!
Monday Morning
Ugh. I feel like hell. Flu's making a final comeback performance. I better stay home so I don't get my coworkers sick.
Tuesday Afternoon
I can't believe this! I got "let go" this morning due to "corporate restructuring". I had to clean out my desk with the CEO standing over me.
Maybe it's because you suck.

 

by MsJG
2-08-09
Did you hear about Nana?
Yeah, she has breast cancer. It's so sad.
It's going to be rough, but her Doctor is pro-cannibus for treatment of the side-effects of chemo, so he wrote her a prescription so she can legally purchase it.
Sweet! She's going to share, right?

 

by MsJG
2-11-09
The 7 Stages of Grief When Your Hard Drive Fails
Shock... WTF?!?
Denial... I just bought this drive 5 months ago it can't be going bad.
Bargaining... Maybe if I defrag it everything will be OK?
Guilt... If only I had scheduled those surface scans...
Anger & Depression... I hate this f*&%$@#!! thing! It's ruining my life!
Acceptance... format c:/

 

by MsJG
2-15-09
Visiting the neighbor...
Since I got over that flu my resistance has been really low so I've been taking lots of vitamins and avoiding sick people.
I can't afford to get sick now that I'm unemployed & don't have health insurance. So what's up with you?
30 minutes later
...oh and the doctors aren't sure but they think I have a possibly contagious viral infection in my brain.

 

by MsJG
2-18-09
Reinstalling Windows from XP SP-1 Disk: The following takes place from 9 AM to 9 PM

 

by MsJG
3-20-09
No job + no unemployment + savings gone = no money.
Welcome to my new home

 

by MsJG
4-08-09
My Haiku for You
I wrote this after flipping through cable news channels all afternoon
Economic woes
Jobless, broke, cold and hungry
Optimism wanes
Dude. That was awesome!

 

by MsJG
4-09-09
I had an awesome idea for a comic last night
But I didn't write it down or sketch it out because I just thought: I'll do that tomorrow
Now the idea is dead and gone just like the bodies in this room
What?

 

by MsJG
4-10-09
I haven't been on a date in 5 years, so that rules out Lust
But because you haven't been on a date in 5 years, you've stuffed down your bitter loneliness with food, so we have Gluttony
I'm unemployed and broke so Greed is out
But because you're unemployed and broke all you do is lay around all day and whine about people who DO have jobs, so we have both Sloth and Envy
Arrrggh! If you don't shut the hell up I'm going to have to bring my Wrath down upon you! You do remember I'm a black belt, right?!?
Hey, there's Pride!

 

by MsJG
4-16-09
Hello. I'm MsJG, and I'm here today to discuss the many reasons why you should hire me...
Reason One:
I'm TOTALLY awesome!
She really is

 

by MsJG
4-17-09
The discussion of the many reasons why you should hire me continues...
Reason Two:
I possess extensive experience having worked as a Project Manager, Field Producer, Event Coordinator and Manager...
...in the Motion Picture, Television, Live News, Live Media and Internet industries
See? She's awesome!

 

by MsJG
4-19-09
The discussion of the many reasons why you should hire me continues...
Reasons Three, Four & Five:
I have great communication & people skills allowing me to develop a sound rapport with peers, superiors & clients alike.
I also have a reputation for dedication to both the task at hand & to the company. Additionally, I’m known for my creative problem solving…
She's one of those "outside the box" people

 

by MsJG
4-21-09
The discussion of the many reasons why you should hire me continues...
Reasons Six and Seven:
I have both technical (IT, TV ENG, Satellite, Telecomm, et al.) and non-technical project and event planning and implementation experience...
Which means that I have the ability to speak both geek and layman in terms all understand, ensuring success for you and your project.
She's a multilingual translator! Just like in Star Trek!

 

by MsJG
5-15-09
The discussion of the many reasons why you should hire me continues...
Let's get serious for a moment and go over my actual resume:
I worked for Coastal Media Group/Coastal Satellite, Inc. from 2006 to 2009 as the Project Manager and Director of Corporate Projects and as a Field Producer and Live Event Coordinator.
I worked w/vendors & clients from around the globe. I project managed, developed, designed & maintained global transmissions web sites for major broadcast events
She also Field Produced several projects w/major news & television networks; worked & coordinated w/on-air talent, production staff, directors & producers for both live & live-to-tape productions

 

by MsJG
5-15-09
The discussion of the many reasons why you should hire me continues...
Continuing with my resume:
I worked for EarthLink, Inc. from 1999 to 2006 as a Project Manager & Team Leader of the Technologies & Telecommunications Groups, and as a...
Field Producer & Event Coordinator for Corporate Services, producing quarterly, interactive, nationally broadcast meetings for the Executive staff
Because of her awesomeness she was well liked & appreciated!

 

by MsJG
5-16-09
The discussion of the many reasons why you should hire me continues...
Remaining serious for a few more frames, let's continue with my resume:
I worked at the J. Paul Getty Trust & Museum in Los Angeles, CA from 1998 to 1999 as a Senior Technical Specialist & Project Manager in Information Technology, Telecommunications.
I provided IT support & project managed new site telecomms installations, hardware & systems upgrades in a large campus environment.
That place had a killer view of Los Angeles from atop that mountain.

 

by MsJG
7-04-10
The discussion of the many reasons why you should hire me continues...
Stick with me, it's just a few more frames...
I worked for 20th Century Fox Film Corp inc. Fox Films, Fox Television, along with many other Newscorp owned entities from 1987 to 1998 as a Telecomms Project Manager & Systems Admin
I project managed new site telecomms installations, hardware & systems upgrades along with IT management & support in a large, multi-site/multi-city environment.
She was able to handle those "entertainment" biz people with ease so she can deal with anyone!

 

by MsJG
7-04-10
1:30 AM Pacific Daylight Time
I have an idea... Hundreds of people from around the world follow me on Twitter, I'll tell them they can ask me *anything* and I'll answer. This will be fun!
Uhm, OK.
Tweeted! Oooh, I can hardly wait for the questions to start chirping in from my loyal followers!
Chirping? Yeah, I'm gonna go now.
12 hours later...
So how'd that Twitter Q & A thing go with all your hundreds of followers?
No one asked a single question. I discovered that I'm uninteresting on a global scale.

 

by MsJG
7-04-10
I have definitely outlived my usefulness as a productive member of society.
So now what do I do?

 

by MsJG
7-05-10
Over the past 16 months of my unemployment I've let my hair grow out, much to the dismay of my son. He hates it & is always trying to come up with reasons for me to cut my hair.
His most recent pitch: "It's a statistal fact that lesbians are 73% more likely to be hired than a straight woman." According to him if I shave my head & butch it up I'll finally land a job.
Is the eye-patch too much?

 

by MsJG
7-08-10
1:00 PM
I'm hungry. I think I'll make an Indian spicy potato soup.
2:00 PM
Well that was pretty darn tasty if I say so myself!
3:00 PM
Lesson learned: Don't use curry powder that's been sitting in the pantry for four years.

 

by MsJG
7-14-10
This is what happens when even Starbucks won't hire you...
My unemployment ran out & I wasn't able to wrangle any work for the month of June & nothing so far in July. I managed to pay my rent for July, but nothing else.
My home phone got turned off because I couldn't pay the bill - and I just received final disconnect notices for power & natural gas.
So for the first time in my life I went to the Community Assistance Program & asked if they would pay my power & gas bills. After completing a stack of paperwork they said they'd get back to me.
After I left there, I went for another first. I went to the Dept of Social Services. The line was so long that they handed me a stack of paperwork & told me to come back tomorrow.
They told me to get there very early and queue up *before* they open at 8:00am in order to be seen. Even then my wait will still be 4-6 hours. Oh and have all my paperwork ready.
Being unemployed & poor requires a lot of paperwork & waiting.

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