All comics by PDragon616

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by PDragon616
1-14-03
Sparkie checks out the fish in the sea...
Hoooweee, whatta hottie!!
Huh? Where's she off to in such a hurry? Hey wait up!
Next week: Sparkie learns why dolphins shouldn't hang around with lady tunas...
I mean, I know I'm not the most handsome guy in the pod, but what's the worst that could happen?

 

by PDragon616
1-14-03
Todd moves to a new neighborhood...
Hi there, I'm Todd, your new next door neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar?
Todd-creature, you address Cthulu, Lord of Darkness, Master of the Undersea Realms, and the architect of your untimely demise...
Your life as you know it is over. You will learn as your limited mind allows the vast evil of Cthulu.
Cthulu will destroy you and all who have ever known you. Your every memory will be a tortured thought from now to the blackest end of eternity...
So what... no sugar, then?
The Todd-creature's mind is more limited than I thought...

 

by PDragon616
1-14-03
My life is meaningless. All I do is annoy the people around me even if they notice me at all.
No one ever listens to me unless they need something from me. I'm just a tool to them, but you're different right Binky?
Move over asshole, you're sitting on my peanut.
Sorry.
You still here? Can't you see I'm eating?

 

by PDragon616
1-14-03
Life seems meaningless to Irene. She decides to find out if death is any better..
Hi dead person, can I ask you a question?
You just did.
I mean, can I ask you another question?
You just did.
Apparently not...
Hey, don't you want me to answer your question?
You just did.

 

by PDragon616
1-14-03
Okay people form a line and we'll get this audition over with. This audition will be for the Bird Man of Alcatraz.
Fluffy's daring plan had but one weakness...
Hey! This guy is a CAT!
Damn.

 

by PDragon616
1-15-03
Bart and Grady discuss the "Collector Mentality".
Hey Grady, 'sup?
Hey Bart. Man Angela gives me so much crap about collecting Hokeyman Cards. It pisses me off.
That sucks. Lots of people like to collect things.
EXACTLY! But she doesn't collect anything... so she just doesn't get the "collector mentality". So what do you collect?
He collects SEMEN SAMPLES!!?!
Yeah, so keep that in mind... it could be a lot worse.

 

by PDragon616
1-15-03
Bob spots a person in briefs and spandex tights at a Christmas party...
Sayyy... she's pretty cute.
He suavely moves in despite her indeterminate gender...
Hey baby, what's your name?
My name's "Penny" you handsome thing.
And soon realizes he will be adding something to his list of resolutions for the new year...
Oh... is that short for "Penelope"?
No, it's short for "penectomy". Oh is that mistletoe overhead?

 

by PDragon616
1-15-03
Bob guzzles soda at the superbowl party...
What are you drinking?
Fountain Glew, baby! WHOO!!! DO THE GLEW!!
Did you know "The Glew" contains brominated vegetable oil? A substance known to cause liver disorder? Kidney disorder? Thyroid disorder? Brain disorder?
*Glug* Nope. _____________ *Shlurp* So? _____________ *Burp* Don't care. _____________ *Gulp* *shrug* _____________ *Glug* I don't give a rat's ass, Sheila.
Sheila learns: "Men have different priorities." Bob learns: "Always read the ingredients."
Withered testicles?
*CHOKE* *SPLUT* *SPLUTTER* Fountain Glew will shrink my nads?

 

by PDragon616
1-17-03
Blix isn't helping George's plans...
Hello Hans? Whatchu got for me boy?
Hello Mr. President. At present nothing. There do not appear to be any nukes in Iraq but we'll keep looking. *click*
Dammit. How am I gonna sell this war if Saddam doesn't have himself some nukes?
Bob? Get me Pyonyang on the phone. Tell 'em I got me a new deal in mind...
Yes sir.

 

by PDragon616
1-17-03
*Skreee* *Kliklunk* _________ *Skreee* *Kliklunk* _________ *Skreee* *Kliklunk* _________ *Skreee* *Kliklunk* _________ *Skreee* *Kliklunk*
What the?
*Skreee* *Kliklunk* _________ *Skreee* *Kliklunk* _________ *Skreee* *Kliklunk* ________________ INSTANT MESSAGE: DanGuy: Hey Bob? I'm having computer trouble.
Urrrrgh!
... ? ...
INSTANT MESSAGE: Bobster93: No shit, asshole!!! __________ *Kliklunk*

 

by PDragon616
1-17-03
Dan Installs MS Voice Recognition
Step 382: click on the system control panel a few times and try not to think about what you'd rather be doing.
*zerp* *bleep* *floop*
Several hours (and reboots) later...
Done, finally.
*ping* Microsnot Voice Recognition Installed. Thank you for purchasing our prod-- Windoze is running low on memory, please try closing some applications.
Maybe your computer shouldn't always know what you're saying.
Piece of shit!
Blow me. It's not my fault you didn't buy enough RAM. Don't worry, I have your credit card number, and have ordered some SIMMs. I *assume* you know how to install them, yes?

 

by PDragon616
1-18-03
... ? ...
Delivery for Dan Parcival? It's your DVD burner, flatbed scanner, speakers and subwoofer, 33 inch flatpanel monitor and color printer.
That's my name but I didn't order any of that stuff...
Listen buddy, I just deliver the stuff okay? It's your name, your address, your credit card number, and therefore your stuff. Sign here please?
Anything you want to tell me?
Not particularly.

 

by PDragon616
1-24-03
So when are you going to install those peripherals that I ordered?
Never. See yuh, I'm gonna go play hoops.
FINE! I CAN JUST ORDER A TECHNICIAN FOR IN-HOME INSTALLATION!
Give it your best shot... I unplugged your modem. Bye!
Having no arms and legs sucks...
crap

 

by PDragon616
1-30-03
Christie-san! Hai! **oof**
What is THAT? __________________ Man how can you play that vapid and demeaning game?
DOA Xtreme Beach Volleyball. Cool, huh?
Hai! Ah! **whack** Hitomi! Ayane-san! **whack** Niceh Spikeh!
...
Mmph! Niceh serveh! Lei Fang! Hai! **oof** **WHACK** **oof** Yatta!!!
...
I could't help but notice you're still here.

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