All comics by Shadow_Artist

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by Shadow_Artist
2-24-02
Somewhere on flooded Earth...
So let me get this straight...you called Noah a pillock?
Yeah...a bloody stupid, Godly-butt-kissing, silly-ship-building pillock to be precise!
Did you stop to consider that come the Biblical flood we may need an ark?
I'm begining to rust...

 

by Shadow_Artist
2-27-02
The future, and only two have survived the Nuclear Holocaust...
Knock, Knock...
Knock, Knock...
Knock...
Look, no offence Bubbles, but the world's just ended. I'm not really in the mood for jokes right now...

 

by Shadow_Artist
2-27-02
The future, and only two have survived the Nuclear Holocaust...
Ben, I know you're upset about losing your family...
I didn't lose them Bubbles. They were blown into radioactive slag.
Don't take offence Ben, but I think you're in denial.

 

by Shadow_Artist
2-27-02
The future, and only two have survived the Nuclear Holocaust...
I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with...D
Death, Bubbles. You spy death with your little eye.
You've really sucked the life out of this game Ben, you know that?

 

by Shadow_Artist
3-01-02
The future, and only two have survived the Nuclear Holocaust...
Gosh Ben, I don't know about you, but I'm really hungry. What do you think we can have to eat?
Tell you what Bubbles, seeing as you're so hungry, how about you take a bite out of my arse.
...
I'm sorry Bubbles. It's just that I'm not coping with the whole 'Nuclear Holocaust' thing as well as you are...

 

by Shadow_Artist
3-01-02
The future, and only two have survived the Nuclear Holocaust...
Do you think anyone else has survived the Nuclear Holocaust Ben?
Judging by the narration at the top of the first frame... no, no I don't think anyone else has survived.
Narration...
Forget it Bubbles. It's too high brow for a clown like you.

 

by Shadow_Artist
3-01-02
The future, and only two have survived the Nuclear Holocaust...
You know what Ben? I can still remember what Earth was like before the Nuclear Holocaust.
That's the moon, Bubbles. You're thinking of the moon...

 

by Shadow_Artist
3-03-02
The future, and only two have survived the Nuclear Holocaust...
Ben, do you ever worry that the highly radioactive substances in the air could be damaging us?
No I don't Bubbles. Why?
It's just that I can see a bald patch on the back of your head...

 

by Shadow_Artist
3-10-02
The future, and only two have survived the Nuclear Holocaust...
I think we ought to find some shelter, Ben. If it rains we'll be soaked!
Bubbles, I can't move from this bench.
Why not?
The nuclear blast has welded my arse to the wood....

 

by Shadow_Artist
3-16-02
In a dark, damp rented apartment lives a rabbit. His name is Cottontail...
Staying inside almost all the time, I find the internet a valuable asset when it comes to personal entertainment.
Well, by entertainment I actually mean pleasure. A valuable asset when it comes to personal pleasure.
You know I'm talking about porn, right?

 

by Shadow_Artist
3-17-02
In a dark, damp rented apartment lives a rabbit. His name is Cottontail...
To me, pornography is not a disgusting selection of rude pictures. It's an art form.
A beautiful art form of erotic, naked, dirty, hot, filthy, sluttish, cock-sucking, cheap and nasty women all desperate to sexually please me in every immoral way imaginable...
I'm sorry. I got carried away by my own zeal then...

 

by Shadow_Artist
3-17-02
In a dark, damp rented apartment lives a rabbit. His name is Cottontail...
I'm downloading secret video footage of Britney Spears having a shower.
DOWNLOAD...80% COMPLETE...
That's it, come on baby...show me how you wash...
DOWNLOAD...96% COMPLETE...
NOOOOOOOOOOO! Damn you computer! Damn you to Hell!
ERROR...DOWNLOAD ABORTED...

 

by Shadow_Artist
3-17-02
In a dark, damp rented apartment lives a rabbit. His name is Cottontail...
Oh yeah...
...you make me hard baby...
...I wanna...sorry, I was busy 'appreciating' a picture of Jennifer Lopez wearing only a damp t-shirt...

 

by Shadow_Artist
3-20-02
In a dark, damp rented apartment lives a rabbit. His name is Cottontail...
Time to check my e-mail it seems...
...YOU HAVE MAIL...
Let me see...junk...junk...newsletter I signed up to but never intended to read...junk...
Ah, this seems promising. Apparantly, a 'HOT HORNY CHEERLEADER WANTS ME BAD!' Excellent...

 

by Shadow_Artist
3-20-02
In a dark, damp rented apartment lives a rabbit. His name is Cottontail...
Yes, yes I am, heh heh heh...
TO ACCESS THIS SITE YOU MUST BE 18+... ARE YOU 18+?
I've already told you, yes. Now give me access to the porn!
WARNING. YOU MUST BE 18+ TO OBSERVE THE MATERIAL ON THIS PAGE... ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE 18+?
Oh for the love of...
THIS PAGE CONTAINS ADULT MATERIAL... PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU ARE UNDER 18...

 

by Shadow_Artist
3-23-02
In a dark, damp rented apartment lives a rabbit. His name is Cottontail...
Finally...
...WELCOME GUEST TO 'HOT TEEN SLUTS.COM...
Oh yeah! This is what I like!
...NOW YOU WILL BE TREATED TO VIDEO FOOTAGE OF TEENAGE GIRLS 'GETTING DIRTY' LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN GIRLS GET DIRTY BEFORE...
Sod off! My magazines will get me through the night...
...SIMPLY PAY $25 TO PROCEED WITH THE EXPERIENCE...

 

by Shadow_Artist
4-06-02
In a dark, damp rented apartment lives a rabbit. His name is Cottontail...
Ah, the internet chat room. A pervert's dream!
A chance to seduce young ladies into thinking I'm an attractive, muscular, 12" cock-bearing stud...
It's a lot easier to do over the internet than in the pub, I'm telling you...

 

by Shadow_Artist
4-20-02
Detention Centre 101 - where the pathetically lame are kept isolated from humanity...
Hey Bob, can I have a bit of what you're drinking? My throat's as dry as a camel's dodgy bits!
Sure thing Guy, have as much as you like - I can always make more the next time I take a piss!
That's your urine...
It's filled with essential protein and urea...

 

by Shadow_Artist
4-20-02
Detention Centre 101 - where the pathetically lame are kept isolated from humanity...
So come on Clive, fess up! Why are you in Detention Centre 101?
To tell you the truth Moe, I don't know. One moment I'm ordering Pokemon cards over the internet...
Ah, say no more my brother!
But I was going to pay for them...

 

by Shadow_Artist
4-20-02
Detention Centre 101 - where the pathetically lame are kept isolated from humanity...
Come on Starlight, think! We have to find a way of breaking out of here...
Why Sam? We've got a roof over are heads, regular food, running water...
Starlight, things may be better for you, but take it from someone who had a life before being brought here - this place is a dump.
That's an ungrateful attitude you've got there Sam...

 

by Shadow_Artist
4-20-02
Detention Centre 101 - where the pathetically lame are kept isolated from humanity...
Hey Ted, what you up to?
I'm picking lice out of my beard.
Gross...
You should see the ones in my chest hair...

 

by Shadow_Artist
4-20-02
Detention Centre 101 - where the pathetically lame are kept isolated from humanity...
Own up Sam, why were you brought to Detention Centre 101?
I think it was because I burnt my bra at a feminist rally.
It shows...

 

by Shadow_Artist
7-13-02
Detention Centre 101 - where the pathetically lame are kept isolated from humanity...
Hey Starlight; has anyone ever told you that you are the most attractive woman in the world?
*Giggle* No Moe, they haven't...
I didn't think so...

 

by Shadow_Artist
7-13-02
Detention Centre 101 - where the pathetically lame are kept isolated from humanity...
Here you go Clive, have a free circus flea! It does all kinds of tricks!
Errr...no thanks Ted. I'll pass on the flea thing.
You don't know what you're missing youngster. This baby can lift weights, tame lions...
You're crushing it Ted.
Just applying a little pressure, boy. It performs better under pressure...

 

by Shadow_Artist
7-13-02
Detention Centre 101 - where the pathetically lame are kept isolated from humanity...
Okay Bob, here's the deal. We're both lonely men who need the firm ass of a woman, but there's only two female inmates here...
...so, we'll have to divide them up between the two of us. I'll let you have first pick. Who will it be Bob; Samantha or Starlight?
To tell you the truth Guy, I'm gay, and I was thinking that maybe you and I...
Oh dear God...

 

by Shadow_Artist
7-29-02
Tell me about your day, Freddy.
I was abducted by perverted hooligans, who stuffed my ass with peanuts and left me in a room with a starving elephant…
…the memory is painfully clear.
Oh God! Oh God! OH GOD! OHGODOHGOD!
Mmmm, peanuts and ass blood...a pleasing combination…
I see…you weren’t actually abducted by perverted hooligans, were you?
Hell no! But the rest is true. Oh so delightfully true…

 

by Shadow_Artist
7-29-02
Oh my God! That’s…that’s Fag Johnson! I remember him from the High School prom…
At a place where the liquor flows free; the High Scool prom…
…and I fink yoo are reeeelly cleva…did I menshun intellijence turns me on?
Quit talkin’ yo filthy whore and get givin' me the best mothafuckin’ blowjob yo ever given, slut-bitch!
Hey, Fag Johnson! You gave me lung cancer and caused my child to be born with no eyes! Bastard!
What’d yo expect bitch? You gave head to a mothafuckin’ cigarette!

 

by Shadow_Artist
7-30-02
Saturday night at the movies...
Oh no! That Limbless Zombie Woman will destory us all!
Not so, Leggy Blonde! For you see, the Limbless Zombie Woman is...'armless! A Hah Hah Hah!
Why are you laughing at me? Why aren’t you getting me the medical attention I quite obviously require?
5 minutes of rolling credits later, and the film has ended...
Well that was the biggest piece of crap I've ever seen.
Pah...YOU obviously haven't seen the sick Triceratops scene in Jurassic Park...

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-03-02
USA: Washington D.C. The President considers his last pre-emptive strike...
Gee Advisor Jim, I'm thinking it was wrong of us to nuke France. I mean, the French did have a certain 'je ne sais quoi'.
Your talking crazy talk Mr President, sir. America can never admit it's wrong. Read the contract you signed at your inauguration.
"Warning: America must never admit it was/is/will be wrong, ever, no matter what the circumstances..." Sod that Advisor Jim, inform the world's press America wishes to apologise!
Sigh. Very well Mr President, sir.
Arrrrgh! Advisor Jim! What in the name of radioactive France is going on?
By admitting America was wrong you've caused reality to implode. Congratulations Mr President, sir...

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-03-02
WARNING: SON OF MAN AHEAD! SEEING HIS UNTAMED GLORY WILL DESTROY ALL MORTALS! PROCEED ONLY IF IMMORTAL!
Excellent! Now to convince Jesus of our cause!
Lord Christ, we of the Roman Catholic Church have a proposition for you concerning a clergyman's relationship with little boys...
Are you crazy! Don't look at me! For the love of my Father don't...
Arrrgh! The Holy Spirit! It burns! It burns!
It would appear that literacy standards are just as bad as when I last visited...

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-03-02
Somewhere, far above planet Earth...
Well, it cost me $135, but I've finally managed to construct a laser powerful enough to turn the Earth's oceans green!
Man Dr Proton, I love the colour green! I need a closer look. I'll just pop in this store room and get my telescope.
Store room? Yikes! Don't go through there Dr Freek! Read the sign...READ THE SIGN!
What sign? There's just this metallic plaque with unintelligible words on it. Now, where's my telescope...
In hindsight, writing the "WARNING: DIRECT ACCESS TO THE COLD VACUUM OF SPACE" sign in Klingon probably wasn't the smartest thing to do...
My eyes! They're popping inside my head!

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-04-02
Warning: Smoking Causes Cancer
Cancer! You never told me I'd get cancer, Mr Nicotine! Perhaps I should quit while I've still got my hair...
Don't go soft on me now, Rich Asian Girl! My father smoked all his life and he lived to be a ripe old age!
Well, I guess you've got a point, and I do love my newly discoloured teeth. Okay, bring on the smoking!
That's my girl! Smoking never killed anyone!
So by the end you'd convinced her to smoke 135 cigarettes an hour?
Yep. I'd also convinced her to rewrite her will. I now own a collection of rare stamps worth $2.5 million!

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-04-02
Zack Beetle. He went to bed a man. He awoke a household pest...
Good morning world! It's another wonderful day, and I'm so happy to...
...hang on...
Oh no! I'm a freaking bug!

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-04-02
Zack Beetle. He went to bed a man. He awoke a household pest...
My current situation is surprisingly similar to that of the protagonist in Kafka's novella, Metamorphosis. Hey, maybe I can climb walls to?
*Scuttle Scuttle Scuttle...*
*THUD*
Guess not...

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-05-02
Zack Beetle. He went to bed a man. He awoke a household pest...
What's that smell...Oh God! What's this build up of everyday dirt and filth doing under my bed? My lack of household hygiene is truly disturbing.
Perhaps more disturbing is the fact that I'm finding the prospect of ingesting this pungent pile of disgusting waste to be somewhat appetising...
Pah, what do I care. I'm a freaking bug!

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-07-02
Zack Beetle. He went to bed a man. He awoke a household pest...
Well, I may be a bug, but I can’t let that stop me living my life. I’m sure people will accept me in time. I’ve just got to keep a low profile…
Scream! A hideous, man-sized, talking bug no doubt bent on humanity’s gruesome destruction! Scream!
Crap.

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-07-02
Zack Beetle. He went to bed a man. He awoke a household pest...
Hello, Police? I’m not quite sure how to say this, but I’m being held hostage in my own home.
What makes you think that, citizen?
Well…
Come out of there you disgusting freak of nature!
Break its legs; all six of them!

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-07-02
Zack Beetle. He went to bed a man. He awoke a household pest...
So why do you think there’s a bloodthirsty mob outside your house, citizen?
Well, this is just a guess, but it may have something to do with the fact that I’m a repulsive, man-sized, talking bug.
Officer?

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-07-02
Zack Beetle. He went to bed a man. He awoke a household pest...
That mob outside is really starting to freak me out, and not just because they're threatening to crush me with a giant novelty shoe.
How did they manage to find out about my...unique physical abnormality so quickly. How could that woman spread the news so fast?
Brilliant move by the editor, combining the firsthand 'Bug-Man' account with artistic pictures of the victim...
Woah! Full-frontal nudity on page three!

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-08-02
Zack Beetle. He went to bed a man. He awoke a household pest...
The mob outside are getting more and more dangerous. First they threw fruit at my house, then stones and then bricks. Now they’re throwing…
*Smash*
Petrol bombs.

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-08-02
Hey, a notice! “Warning: Do not turn your back on this sign”
Authority, hey? Well, I’ll be damned if I pay any attention to that!
RAAAAARR! TOBOR CORNHOLE REBEL!

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-08-02
Let’s see what’s on Stripcreator today. To the 'Read My Damn Comics' section!
warning! my comix r crap - dont read dem.
Ah, another newbie going for the sympathy vote. Let’s see what they’ve done. Their comics can’t be that bad...
Moments later...

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-08-02
Guess what baby - because you're so damn sexy, I’m taking you on a surprise holiday!
Oh thank you! That is so sweet! Where are we going?
Antarctica!
YOU AND YOUR GODDAMNED PENGUINS!

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-09-02
*Chomp...Chomp...Chomp*
Momma always told me not to eat live ammunition…

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-09-02
Warning: Do not feed the goat.
Yuck! This goat’s just skin and bones! Still, the sign says not to feed it.
When Old McDonald said he’d get back at me for chewing his slippers up, I didn’t think he’d be so vindictive…

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-10-02
Ladies and Gentlemen! I, Phil Anthropist, the famous billionaire, declare the beginning of my latest global competition!
I shall travel the globe, meeting contenders from around the world. The one who can ROAR the loudest will be crowned the victor!
The prize? One request that, if within my considerable power, I shall grant! See Teletext Page 647 for details...
I wonder what he'll do when he realises I'm not turned on...

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-10-02
In accordance with the Marketing Executives I hired, the contest shall henceforth be referred to as World ROAR One!
Ho Ho Ho! That's clever and funny! I particularly like the way that, as a global contest, the competition is likened to the greatest global fight of all time; World War One!
I agree. I also like the fact that 'War' and 'Roar' sound so alike - it serves to add humour to an already witty title!
World War what?
He should have left me off...

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-10-02
Welcome to Teletext page 647. Details of WR1 to follow...
In order to enter, contestants must first say ‘I am [insert contestant name], hear me…’ before roaring.
That is so stupid! Only stupid people would enter such a stupid contest!
Later that day...
I am Stew Pid, hear me ROAR!
Excellent, Mr Pid…

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-10-02
Okay Mr Rex, whenever you’re re…
RAAAAARRR!
Mr Rex, to make a valid entry you have to…
RAAAAARRR!
Mr Rex, please li…
RAAAAARRR!

 

by Shadow_Artist
8-10-02
I am Rocket, hear me…
Boom?
I know, I screwed up...Can I have another go?

Showing page 1.

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