All comics by Timhotep

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by Timhotep
2-27-03
Somewhere (over the rainbow...)
Ok, I blew up the plane, what's next?
Supposedly, it's 72 virgins, at least that's what Osama told me...
Shortly there-after, in a place deep down...
Hi there, pretty boy, Do you want to deflower me?
Mmm...Exotic
Hi sweety, I love your turban. Is that flanel?
Dammit, Should've asked where and what I got first. No way I'm gonna fly those budget airlines again...

 

by Timhotep
2-27-03
Hey man, wanna pull my finger?
Sure, Why not?
Haha! Got you!!
Aaaaaaaargh, Fire, Hot!
Works every time...
Man, you can be a real asshole when you're drunk...

 

by Timhotep
2-27-03
Another day in the park
Gurgle, Gurgle!
Another kid drowning in the duck pond, how sad...
My god! Why don't you go and help the kid! Maybe you can still save his life!!!
If you stay there nice and quiet, you will not experience any problems (and I can watch the ballgame.).
My guardian angel has it's own agenda...

 

by Timhotep
2-27-03
Ivan A. Humpalott; The clown manqué...
My girlfriend is a bitch. Want to see her?
Yeah!
Woof!
Here she is. TADAA!!!
And now, the crowd reaction...
Wow, Dude, That wasn't even remotely funny...
Well, at least he's hung like a donkey...

 

by Timhotep
2-27-03
Omigod! My hands hurt! My feet hurt! Please get me off this cross!!
I can't...
What the fuck! Why?
Hello there, Jesus, your daddy told me to say hi! Fancy a shag?
'cause that devil over there stapled my nuts to this here bench...

 

by Timhotep
2-27-03
Meanwhile, in Kabul...
Welcome to the Taliban Comedy Zone. Pay close attention, you've got to see THIS!!!!
Hurray! Bravo! You're tha BOMB!
Man! You raised the roof!!

 

by Timhotep
2-27-03
Bondage Barry, The Bird Fetish Guy...
What should one do to have sex with a turkey
Gobble.
And now, the crowd's reaction...
Dude, that's just plain sick!
Hmm. Dunno, wanna blow me, sweety?

 

by Timhotep
2-27-03
Back in the park...
*sigh*
Man. You're lazy! You're so goddamn lazy, I don't think you're ever gonna get off that bench!
Suddenly...
I'm not lazy, I just happen to sit on a very strong bench...
Oh! I see.

 

by Timhotep
2-27-03
So, what are you in for?
I carried a bomb in my shoe. What did you do?
I burped in a full subway-train...
No shit. What a ridiculous reason to put you away for.
**BURP**
I knew it. I should have changed my footwear before I got here...AAAAARRGH!

 

by Timhotep
2-27-03
Warning: Extremely cheesy joke coming up...
Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Boo!
Told you so...
Boo who?
Ooh. Don't cry!

 

by Timhotep
2-28-03
So then I told the pope: "God can sniff his own butt!!" Hahaha!
Hahahaha!! Hey, you're right!
Fuckers!

 

by Timhotep
2-28-03
Meanwhile, in #42...
Might as well give up, there's no way you're gonna get me laid...

 

by Timhotep
2-28-03
Sam the Sham, Wacky, Zany, Zesty Owl...God, he's boring...
...this guy came up to me. Said he wanted to bone my wife...
So I said: "Hey, She's my BIRD, Wanna fight about it?"...
Besides that, she's been dead for seven years...
And now, The crowd's reaction...
???
Why do I even bother coming to this club...Want a beer?

 

by Timhotep
2-28-03
Meanwhile, in #766
My god! Look at those HOOTERS!!
Watching porn is bad! Mmmkay?
But I wasn't watching porn...Look!
On the screen...
Welcome to "World of Nature", I'm Fred Passtheprammalot, and this is my brother Kyle...
...That's right. Thank you Fred. Today's episode is about the fertility of the male aardvark. Let's hear it's lure...

 

by Timhotep
2-28-03
*Beep* *Zoik* *Gnuuu*
Look Mr. Vedas, I know you died from an OD while on nIRC, but I've got others waiting for admittance!

 

by Timhotep
2-28-03
You know how we terrorists make moneyin other countries?
No, But I bet you're gonna show me...
Yups.
We take the jobs only assholes would take....Hey Mister, your tank is illegaly parked, that's gonna cost you $4000 or do you rather wanna do time?
I should have known...*sigh*...I'll pay, I'd rather not have my anus bleeding...

 

by Timhotep
2-28-03
Many of you have wondered, Why is this man a lame terrorist?
Well, I'm about to disclose it to you!
Here! It's because I have no legs!
See? No Legs!
Yeah? So what? I have no pants!
Ok, people, who let that "phantom-foot"-guy and pantless pete out?

 

by Timhotep
2-28-03
Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Asian Porn Mail order!
I've got to admit it. This isn't funny...
Ooh, Great!...Hey, wait you're a goat!
So what? I come from Thailand and I suck your dick for a dollar!

 

by Timhotep
3-03-03
Jeez Dad, You've fucked up big time creating stuff yesterday.
Note to self: Take that 7th day off...And stay off the missal wine on the 6th day...Ooh, my head...

 

by Timhotep
3-03-03
Meanwhile, in #666...
...So then I said: "YOUR TIME IS UP, COME WITH ME, MORTAL!!". And the guy soiled himself...
Hahahaha, That's great, where is he now?
Behind you...
Oh.
(I'm expecting lightning-bolts right now)
Hi There, Jesus, having fun yet?
Shut the fuck up! I need a new pair of diapers...

 

by Timhotep
3-03-03
Hi there, I'm Timhotep!
I'm Gsus!
Gsus, why are you in a robe?
There are no Asian male avatars here. Why are YOU wearing that mask?
Because all the avatars with goatees look gay...
Figures...

 

by Timhotep
3-03-03
So, what are we going to do now?
Dunno, let's chill!
And thus...
Hey, where are you going?
BRB
Wait a minute...He said CHILL, not KILL!

 

by Timhotep
3-04-03
This is a true story...
I've noticed we are under attack...
Really? By whom?
We are being bullied IRL by one pointless maniac...
Apparently a schizo. He posts on my weblog with several nicknames. And on yours as well... He probably doesn't know we can see he's one person.
Yup. You're right. He's trying to fool us under the guise of Tim's pimp, OneInFourAmericans, Joanne, and so on...And he/they are making racist remarks about you too...
Check our weblogs to find out...
I wish some people would get a life and stop slagging me off for being Asian... http://kiyoshi.blogspot.com/
Agreed...Jokes are okay, but someone is taking this to far... http://timhotep.blogspot.com/

 

by Timhotep
6-26-03
must...sneak... up...on...woman.
ladidadida...
Raah.... I will cornhole you...
Oh no, think about the pain!
That is, after I oiled my steel wiener...
In that case, so long sucka

 

by Timhotep
4-26-05
Crack? Kids, Don't smoke anything that's named after your ass...

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