All comics by cocainechris

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by cocainechris
11-07-01
Cocaine Chris steps through...
Wow, my first day out of hell and I see the hottest girl on earth
Am I the hottest girl on earth or what? Britney Spears aint got nothing on these puppies.
What should I say? Uh...........Hi....no that sucks........hey you look nice tonight, have you lost weight?...no....
How the hell do they make green jell-o green?
Uh....Hi, I have a big white thing on my head.
Why do I always attract these loser freaks? Damn my nice ass.

 

by cocainechris
11-08-01
As we join Cocaine Chris and Jesus, they are having a very deep discussion about life crap...
....and that is why "Highway to Hell" is the greatest rock song ever.
No way!! "Stairway to Heaven" is the greatest song ever written. Period. Led Zeppelin were.....
5 hours later
...Britney Spears don't got anything on Christina Aguilera.
Dude, are you blind or something. Neither one of them is worth the toilet paper they wipe their ass with. Now that chick from Hanson....
Finally....
....and that's why cold fusion won't work.
So let me get this straight, there are no chicks in Hanson?

 

by cocainechris
11-08-01
One day while wondering if Ted Koppel is really a robot or not....
Oh my God!! It's the floating head of David Lee Roth!!!!
Quick somebody get me some friggin' spandex pants.
What words of wisdom do you bring oh eccentric one?
Sometimes you just gotta jump.
Huh?
You know what, I bet I could kick Sammy Hagar's ass.

 

by cocainechris
11-09-01
The floating head of David Lee Roth has appeared before Cocaine Chris.
Why have you come to me?
I have come to help you with your life.
How can you help me?
Duh, ask me a question about your life, you fucking dumbass.
What is the purpose of my life?
Form a heavy metal band and corrupt the innocent brains of children. Or you can open a fireworks stand by the highway, its your choice.

 

by cocainechris
11-13-01
Cocaine Chris makes a decision...
Heavy metal band or fireworks stand?
Suicide is the answer.
Thats it!
Or maybe not.
Life is short, get it over with.
Ah, the hell with life on earth, back to hell.
I will return. Maybe.

 

by cocainechris
11-14-01
Hi kids. It's me, the floating head of David Lee Roth with disturbing news. Cocaine Chris is dead. He committed suicide in the last comic. He might be back, although noone really gives a crap.
Seriously, suicide is no laughing matter. It is not the answer to your problems. Kids, what I'm trying to say is, don't kill yourself. It affects others and it ain't cool.
Homicide on the other hand, works out great. Not only do you get on the news and in the paper, but you also got rid of some asswipe that probably treated you like total shit.
This just in: The floating head of David Lee Roth is a completely fucked up idiot.

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