All comics by ometzo

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by ometzo
6-15-02
Somewhere in Central Park...
That was a strange war, I wonder what tomorrow will bring?
A squirrel dreams of big, meaty nuts...
Hey, who the hell are you?
Yet doesn't understand the deeper homoerotic complications
I am the future you, tomorrow will bring great opportunity and adventure!

 

by ometzo
6-15-02
Sammy becomes skeptical
Are you sure there's a great adventure? That doesn't look very fun. I mean, just sitting there looking at at city...
....

 

by ometzo
6-15-02
Oh Fuck.....
Totally screwed that one up...ummmmm....
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN....ummm....the Adventures of Sammy the Squirrel will continue unabated as soon as our chinese child laborers finish constructing our set!
Dude, who put this guy in charge of giving me life?
Hey, at least he's not using a racial stereotype to explain you.

 

by ometzo
6-15-02
Sammy becomes skeptical...
Are you sure there's a great adventure? That doesn't look very fun. I mean, just sitting there looking at at city...
In the Green room...
Didn't we do that the other day?
Yeah, it's a recap for people who don't remember the lines of two days ago. We have to do it before we can move on.
Well, we can't move on today, we just ran out of panels talking about the recap
fuck, man. You can't say anything in three panels.

 

by ometzo
6-15-02
Sammy becomes Skeptical
Are you sure there's a great adventure? That doesn't look very fun. I mean, just sitting there looking at at city...
...
Look, I'm your future self, right? That means I know everything and you know nothing. You are a pathetic memory and I'm just giving you an upper so you won't feel bad when you die manyana, ok?
I'm gonna die?
*MOAN* As a small, starving child, how can I possibly survive in a post-apocolyptic war zone without my precious squirrel meat?

 

by ometzo
6-15-02
Sammy gets a little creeped out
Must... eat... tempting... squirrel... nuts...
Okay, so you've decided to tell me I'm going to die tomorrow?
Hey, look, I don't make the rules, I'm just giving you the message like Jesus here gave me the opportunity to. I think it's 'cause he's gay and horny.
Bless thee, Sammy, for you may behoove yourself foresight if you only bring me some of your meaty squirrel nuts
Feel the wrath of my freeze ray, foolish squirrel. Now your meat shall be mine.
Okay. Psycho Asian girls and a gay Jesus...this just entered a whole new world of fucked up

 

by ometzo
6-15-02
A brief disclaimer
Today we'd be showing you my gory death scene, but due to our socially conscious nature here at the Adventures of Sammy Squirrel, we feel this scene may be too bloody for our sensitive viewers.
Okay, we don't have the sprites to do the scene. So sue me for trying to cover. Jesus!
Ask and ye shall recieve.

 

by ometzo
6-15-02
And Sammy's world goes black, except for one thing...
Woha...What are you doing here, Jesus?
Your time has come, small furry one. Join your race in the bowels of El Diablo!
I thought death did the whole 'taking you off to heaven and hell' thing
He's got the day off, and so I'm temping for him.
Temping?
Yeah. This savior gig makes me powerful, but I still can't afford the car of my dreams. Vroom Vroom, Toyota!

 

by ometzo
6-15-02
Limboing away...
So we're in limbo now, right?
Yes, on our way to your eternity.
Ummm...I don't suppose there's any way for you to let me go back to Earth?
There is but one path...and I shall only open it if you Grant me access to your Meaty Squirrel Nuts
Is there a double meaning? You decide!
Fat chance, bucko. I need those nuts for the winter.
I see you are still stuck in the literal, foolish squirrel.

 

by ometzo
6-17-02
Our travelers Arrive in Heaven
Our Journey is complete, lost soul. Welcome to the Kingdom of heaven. Now is the time that you shall meet with your God.
Greetings, my friend. Enter my kingdom and rejoice!
Y'know, it might help your whole 'death/savior' doubling thing if you actually had a different costume for each person.

 

by ometzo
6-17-02
Go and seek thy fortune in Heaven, my friend!
Umm...does that mean that I have to have a job around here?
Only if you wish it to be within your bliss, my son.
Okay. I'll look into that. Is there any good touristy stuff around here first?
Thouh knowest my price for such information.
You are not getting my nuts, no matter how hard you try.

 

by ometzo
6-17-02
A public sevice announcement
Hi there, folks, I'm Jesus Christ. Remember that only Losers use drugs.
Okay, I'm actually a crude rendition of a religious icon extorted by countless webcomics and serve only as a cistern for bored cartoonists. I have no mind of mind or free will of my own.

 

by ometzo
6-17-02
We rejoin our character, deep in thought...
Gosh...I'm totally meaningless. Even this supposedly self-realizing sentence is no more than words shoved into my mouth.
Well, Uh....Don't do drugs, anyway, kids. Or adults. Or anyone exept usless human beings. So speaks the will of Faux Jesus!

 

by ometzo
6-17-02
Sammy Tours Heaven
Alright! Saved for my good heart and acceptance of Jesus! This is gonna be a great eternity!
Hey there, man! Guess you took the sole path to righteousness, too, huh?
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose.
Ok...it appears the entrance exams are a little easier than publicized.
Shhh...you'll wake Dinner! Come on, Dinner, let's go home.

 

by ometzo
6-17-02
There may be psychos in heaven, but I'm still psyched to be here, baby! I mean, seriously, an eternity of joy. Who can say no to that!
So um...yeah. Joy, oh joy, joy to the X-Treme! Oh yeah.
I'm lovin' this heaven stuff...Uh, Rock on...X-treme
Jesus Christ this place is boring as Hell!
My son, why dost thou profane my domain?

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