All comics by orochidp

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by orochidp
8-06-04
Father Marvin and Jimmy are talking... Let's listen in!
Hey there, Jimmy! Want to earn a twinky?
Does it involve your ass?
HEAVENS NO! What gave you THAT idea? I'm not some pervert!
Oh, sorry Father. You know, the news and all...
Wait... does it involve MY ass?
...No twinkie then?

 

by orochidp
8-06-04
Excerpt from Smoking for Dummies...
Hey, I'm Steve the Cowboy!
And I'm Tokey the Cigarette!
Smoking Tobacco is bad! Don't do it, kiddies!
Yeah, you're sucking stuff from my ass when you smoke, didn't you realize that? You're pulling smoke from my rectum, you freak!
Besides, the way prices are going, it's gonna be cheaper to smoke the Mary Jane soon anyway. You might as well start now!
Yes, you're right Steve, tobacco DOES hurt your lun... WAIT, WHAT!?!

 

by orochidp
8-06-04
In the Confessional booth...
So, The nun was crying and stuff, and I said, "Look, YOU are the one that wouldn't do that!"
DEAR LORD!
Hey, she pulled the trigger herself! I didn't force her to do it at all!
Hey, is that YOU, Steve?
30 seconds later, Steve is struck down.
****! I should have seen this coming!
Ready for the 3 O'Clock Sodomy? Aren't Petunias your favorite?

 

by orochidp
8-06-04
Somewhere above Earth...
DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!
WHAT DO YOU WANT, RODNEY?!?
DANGER!
WHAT *IS* IT, RODNEY!?!
SQURREL-VISION IS STUCK ON AGAIN!
Go to hell Rodney.

 

by orochidp
8-06-04
Hey, I'm Clippy! Are you writing a letter?
I SAID, "LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE WRITING A LETTER!
Say it one more time, I dare you!
HUH? Where *AM* I?
HEY, I'm RODNEY!

 

by orochidp
8-06-04
Meanwhile, 20 feet away...
Oww... OWW! OWWW!
HE said I had to nail you back when I was finished, Steve! Sorry!
Ready for the Sodomy?
Not right now, I have a headache...
Oh... How about you? Ready for some sodomy?
Sure, bend over!

 

by orochidp
8-06-04
Hey Frank, what's up?
Readin'.
Readin' what?
Procedures for Sodomy in Hell for Dummies. I need to check a certain rule.
You mean about... Uh, the Rodney Incident...?
THAT BASTARD! There's no "Recieving Equals Giving" Clause in the Sodomy Quota!!

 

by orochidp
8-06-04
HEY RODNEY!
HEY FRANK! You ready to fill up the quota some more?
No, you ready to die? I READ THE RULES. TWICE. YOU LIED!
Oh... Uh...
SQUIRREL-VISION!
...I hate you, Rodney...

 

by orochidp
8-06-04
Hey, is there something... different with Frank recently?
I noticed he missed the last two sodomy lessons.
Lessons? You mean torture, right?
...Yeah...
Your search - Un-Squirrel Vision controls on a Rodneybot 9 Trillion - did not match any documents.
****! You're SO going topside, bastard!

 

by orochidp
8-06-04
BAMF! I LOVE THAT NOISE!
OW MOTHER****ER!
Better?
Yeah, thanks Harry!
Hey Rodney!
Oh dear...

 

by orochidp
8-06-04
Wha... Where am I...
Philadelphia.
EARTH?!? WHY AM I HERE!?!
I don't know... Why ARE you in my front yard?
HOW THE **** WOULD I KNOW? WHO ARE YOU TO ASK WHY I'M HERE, ANYWAY?
I'm Orochi DP. Don't hurt me! ...much.

 

by orochidp
8-06-04
From: Orochi DP| Hey guys, a big red sodomizing robot appeared in my front yard!
From: OEA| SHUT UP loloz! NO it didn't lolz! UR TEH FAKEZ!
From: Orochi DP| No, I swear it's true! Here are the pics!
From: OEA| ONCE AGAIN, you are a lier! Photoshopped! LOLOROROLOLOLERLOLOZOLERZ!!
From: Orochi DP| WHY WON'T ANYONE BELIEVE ME?!?
From: Loitus XB| I believe you, Orochi.

 

by orochidp
8-06-04
SWEETNESS! THERE'S A BIG ROBOT IN MY FRONT YARD!
I know!
Uh... how?
...(OW, NOT LIKE THAT!)
I SAID "NOT THE ASS"!
Well, today's not your lucky day, sugar***!

 

by orochidp
8-06-04
RAWWWR!
EEEK!
Not here again!
HEY EVERYBODY, RODNEY'S BACK!
Hmm?
Let it go, Frank. You're imagining things again...

 

by orochidp
8-06-04
So... You're back, huh?
MEEP!
You know what?
MAHHHH!
I missed you! Let's never fight again! I got you some flowers!
AHHHHHHH!

 

by orochidp
8-06-04
...he...help me!
What's wrong?
It's that Frank guy! He's a doo-doo fiend! He won't leave me, or my ass, alone!
Ah. I know how to get him to leave you alone forever...
30 Seconds later...
George W. Bush is a great leader and Mike Moore is a fat lying slob that can't make a movie to save his tubby ass!
Here are your things from my place. I hate you.

 

by orochidp
8-09-04
Hey, what's with the tie?
*sigh* It was a present to myself. I needed something to take my mindo off of Rodney...
Well... I heard somebody here likes you...
REALLY? WHO!?!
Give me 12 seconds, I'll find someo... I mean, find them. Yeah. Be right back!
I hope he's cute!

 

by orochidp
8-09-04
In some large city...
DOOBIE-DOOBIE-DOO-BOP-BA! Skippity-dee do da!
PSST!
2 hours later...
I hear you're a witness, correct?
I SAWD DA HOLE THING!
Well? What happened?
I tells ya, free with a BJ!

 

by orochidp
8-09-04
OK! What happened?
Some hippie fell down, and he hit a parked car. the alarm caused a man to have a heart attack...
Umm...
...then, the guy with the bum heart dropped his coffee, which a bike messenger slipped in and ran into a moving car...
...the car then ran off the road and crashed into a boat. Then, the boat exploded, sending shrapnel...
Err... I meant the robbery... You know, the JEWELERY STORE YOU WERE IN WHILE IT WAS ROBBED?!?

 

by orochidp
8-09-04
OK, we have two suspects...
Yah. They are?
Hey.
...
...I never said they were GOOD suspects...
...I'm going on break.

 

by orochidp
8-09-04
La La La, I'm on break! La La La!
Breaky Breaky Breaky Break!
Ah, breaks are like daily paid vacations! Wait, where *AM* I?

 

by orochidp
8-09-04
Hey, a safe! LET'S GO IN!
Hey, it's dark in here! Lemme walk around with my button-poking finger sticking out!
*boop*
Hey DestructoBot2, did we just attack shoot a missle at Eastern Jabip?
Yes, Yes we did.

 

by orochidp
8-09-04
YARR! I BE'S A PIRATE!
OY! Stop ri' thar, piraht!
meep...
OY! I goin' ta heav'n!
Boom!
Whistle!

 

by orochidp
8-09-04
Yarr! Where be I? YARR!
You're here in the nick of time!
Hey! Here's your NEW soul mate, ... Err...
???
What's your name, kid?
YARR! I killed your gay homosexual buddy! YARR!

 

by orochidp
12-10-04
Meanwhilst!
This wall sure feels like a button!
*Boop*Boop*Boop*
Uh, we simultaneously launched all of the UberNukes we own and decided to self destruct!
At least we don't have to be together anymore! I hate you!
Then there twas none. Except Orochi DP and a hamster.
Poof

 

by orochidp
12-10-04
Are you sure you're ready to repopulate this... uh... universe?
THIS IS A BEAR HELLO. HELLO.
You're not a hamster?
LOOK OVER THERE! IT'S GOD!
BAM MOTHERFUCKER!
Tingly!

 

by orochidp
12-10-04
Hey, I'm back in Philadelphia!
That kid is mad supa fly crazy dope, yo.
Hey, I'm back in Philadelphia!
That kid is mad supa fly crazy dope, yo.
Hey, I'm back in Philadelphia!
That kid is mad supa fly crazy dope, yo. still holdin'!

 

by orochidp
12-10-04
Whoops, Time is still screwy!
You're tellin' me!
SATAN! I forgot to make Hell, didn't I?
No. I like this... place. Less sodomy. What's it called?
I call it... No, no racial jokes here, folks.
C'mon, it was probably funny! Give me a hint at least!

 

by orochidp
12-10-04
See?
Yeah, I guess you were better off not saying it.
Eat me, Satan.
I would if I weren't so lame.
HAHAH!
Hey, you made me say that! NOT FAIR!

 

by orochidp
12-10-04
Can I have a cool form now?
Like?
Hitler?
How about...
How about I stab you?
FINE. Whatever. But I'm making a new Hell, got it?

 

by orochidp
12-10-04
Byebye!
Whatever.
All of a sudden!
YES!
You like it?
Hell yeah! I'm BADASS!
Have fun with that, I'm going to fix my shit.

 

by orochidp
12-10-04
Hey, where's my piercings? Why am I so dorky? Why am I wearing a skirt, and why do I have a boner?
A lay for 5 or two for twenty.
Nit... quite... right...
Not gay enough! You need more ugly and less happy. Oh, and bigger meat curtains!

 

by orochidp
12-10-04
I feel normal, I think...
HOLY SHIT!
TOO SOON! TOO SOON!
Crap! That was my trump card!

 

by orochidp
12-10-04
God, if you stop fucking with me, I'll pray every day!
Huh?
Hi, I'm Foxy. Want to dance in this habit I stole from a lesbian nun?
NO WAIT, STOP IT LIKE THIS!
Nevermind, I have this urge to level out and go straight.

 

by orochidp
12-10-04
OK, everything's back to normal!
...I hope.
SHUT UP, SATAN!
Make me!
Two weeks later...
Do you love me at ALL?!?
SHIT! What did I forget now?

 

by orochidp
12-10-04
So I left you in the middle of an endless field with no food and no water?
That's the gist of it.
Why didn't you eat the zombies I left for you?
Yeah, why?
Dude, we totally didn't get eaten! You owe me five bucks!
Shut up dude, you still owe me like forty.

 

by orochidp
12-16-04
So.
Unless you're growing more grass, go away.
Well...
Well?
...I'm not allowed to eat you. Can you give me a dollar to buy a hotdog?
FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT HOLY! Wait, yeah I am.

 

by orochidp
12-16-04
Aren't these things supposed to be FUNNY?
Yeah. We all can't be winners, though.
But aren't they supposed to TRY or something?
Well, maybe sometimes. Could be, I forget. See ya.
Well, I guess Shizzarky is right, Orochi sucks at the longevity thing.
*fart*

 

by orochidp
12-16-04
Welcome to JesusBurger, would you like fries with that?
I didn't order anything yet.
Oh, what would you like?
Give me a StigmataBurger, Large Crucifries and a Apostle-sized Dr Pepper.
StigmataBurgers are on sale, $5 for one or 2 for $20.
Uh, whatever. I'm in a hurry.

 

by orochidp
12-16-04
Hey bayyyyybie! What's your sign?
I don't know, what's yours?
Are you tired? 'CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN RUNNING AROUND IN MY HEAD ALL DAY!
Damn.
You want to stick what where?

 

by orochidp
12-16-04
Hmm.
*Wiggle*
Ehh.
*Wiggle Wiggle*
Urk. Where's my diary when I need it the most?
*Wiggle Jiggle Wiggle*

 

by orochidp
12-16-04
So, what'd we find out from this human's rectal cavity?
Well, we've just found the same thing as the other two hundred studies.
I've been too busy watching Human Pornography. They do very strange things with horses that makes me wince.
Well, basically we've found that...
...and did you see the one where she gets pooped on, then starts ea...
HEY! That's not appropriate to talk about. So... Show me.

 

by orochidp
7-01-05
He's back!
*tee hee hee!*
...what am I?
He's reading mail!
...from: Tom Bryant...
...where am I?
He's... just sick.
...wow, I didn't know a person could eat that much dook!
...what this on my keyboard?

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