All comics by rennaT

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by rennaT
1-07-07
Why, hello there Bench. How are you feeling today. I do hope you're feeling well. I certainly am. I had a terrible inching in my left lung when I woke up this morning but it seems to be fine now...
... I've terrible trouble paying the bills these days. The wife and I don't know what we'll do if I don't recieve a sizable bonus this year. Last year, we just barely made it by and that was without..
... so the doctor said that if I felt I couldn't bear the pain in my kidneys anymore, I should come in and see him and he'd remove the stone himself. You've been awfully quiet, Mr. Bench. You alright?
If I had wrists, I'd slit them.

 

I want to fuck that dinosaur.
by rennaT, 1-07-07

 

by rennaT
1-07-07
I wanna write a book but I don't know what to write.
You could write about me. I'm a giant bug.
Nah. "The Metamorphosis" is too shitty to rip off.
It's not a rip off if I kill and eat you.

 

by rennaT
1-07-07
So, what's the plan again?
Who needs a plan! I'm naked and I have a huge gun!
Let's just do whatever feels right.

 

Hi! I'm Clippit! What would you like to know? I can help you write a new email or document. Or I can tell you how to insert an image into your current project.
Leave this place, Great Satan.
by rennaT, 1-07-07

 
by rennaT, 1-07-07

 

by rennaT
1-07-07
One day, I lost track of how many of my letters she had sent back stamped, "Return to Sender."
But I promised myself that it would never happen again. I know that it will never happen again.
I'm coming for you.

 

by rennaT
1-07-07
Gene and I had nevertheless been friends for quite a while back then.
Shit.
We didn't generally do this kind of thing but once Gene got into something, it was hard to make him stop.
Hey.
It wasn't really supposed to happen, I guess. But that doesn't change the fact that it did. I doesn't really change anything.
You feelin' okay?
I don't feel anything.

 
by rennaT, 1-07-07

 

My penis is as big your body.
by rennaT, 1-27-07

 

by rennaT
1-28-09
Oh, hello.
Delicious.
You like that fish?
I loved it... once.
Once? What happened?
'Nam, happened, man. Fuckin' 'Nam happened.

 

by rennaT
1-28-09
I won't pretend to be happy about Fishgate. I'm not going to be able to forget this so easily.
I don't expect you to.
I'm honestly not sure when I'm gonna get over this. I'm beside myself.
What do you want from me.
Okay, that was an excellent start.
You're so easily swayed.

 

by rennaT
1-29-09
I once knew a girl who put two lego blocks in her vagina and, when she took them out, they were joined.
I knew this girl who could put 15 Windows 95 floppy disks and a Compaq Presario in her vagina, and when she took them out, it was installed and configured.
I knew this girl who could put a Robo Sapiens in her vagina, and when she took it out, it was a real boy.
I knew this girl who could put 5 East Asian diplomats in her vagina, and when she took them out, the PRC recognized Taiwan as an independent nation, and North Korea was opened to foreign trade.
I knew this girl once who could put an NES controller into her vagina, and when she took it out, she'd done a 11-minute Super Mario Bros. speed run.
I knew this girl once would could put a penis into her vagina, and when she took it out, she thought I loved her.

 

God! I hate when foreshadowing is too thinly veiled.
... not as much as you will ten minutes from now.
by rennaT, 1-29-09

 

by rennaT
1-29-09
I hate waiting for the bus.
If it wasn't for my job, I wouldn't even own pants.
I made a movie about Eastern European acrobats.
I know.
Czechs and Balances.
Fuck you.

 

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
I want to die like my father, quietly, in his sleep—not screaming and terrified like his passengers.
by rennaT, 1-29-09

 

by rennaT
1-29-09
I admire sizable posteriors and I am incapable of prevarication.
I woke up feeling all warm and fuzzy.
My African-American counterparts refuse to state otherwise.
Then I pried the cat off my face.

 

Tupac's fan websites far eclipse his legacy. They're very Web 2.0.
Murdr 4 Lyfe?
by rennaT, 1-31-09

 

I'm looking for a microwave that goes "Dun Dun DONE!"
by rennaT, 1-31-09

 

by rennaT
1-31-09
That's not even the best part! After it was all over, she handed me my money back.
What? Why.
All she said was, "This one was free. You were great!"
Psh. It didn't last long enough for her to charge you.

 

by rennaT
2-02-09
Ever get nosebleeds?
I get nosebleeds.
Huh.
Fisticuffs. Grade eight. Never healed cleanly.
My nose always points north-northwest regardless of my cardinal direction.

 

by rennaT
2-02-09
I like my video games like I like my liquor. Hard and lasts all weekend.
I like my video games like I like my Laura Secord. Mysterious but easy to cheat on.
I like my Presidents like I like my 40s Western film actors. White and incomprehensible.
I like my Presidents like I like my Nobel gases. Stable and unintimidating.
I like my women like I like my tea. Hot and bitter.
I like my women like I like my liquor. Infrequent and unsatisfying to all involved.

 

Candy corn. It's not candy, it's not corn, and it's not meant for human consumption.
I don't know if it's a compliment, an insult, or a vast right-wing conspiracy.
by rennaT, 2-02-09

 

We'd have less problems with drunk Russian cosmonauts if all these computers had fewer spacebars.
by rennaT, 2-02-09

 

by rennaT
2-02-09
I once knew this chick who had this massive wooden vibrator that went off like a jackhammer. All sparks and shit. She called it Mjollnir.
But wouldn't that make her thor?
Yeth. Very thor indeed.

 

How would you describe your relationship with philosophy?
Merely platonic.
by rennaT, 2-02-09

 

I think it goes without saying that a bitch stops being a bitch when she gets naked.
Do you think I could get a handicapped parking sticker for ED?
by rennaT, 2-03-09

 

by rennaT
2-04-09
Life is shit.
I agree.
I don't care that everyone's a moron. I just wish they would mind their own business.
Hell is other people.
I never thought I'd have to be told "no drinking in the cop car".
You are the Zen master.

 

by rennaT
2-05-09
Jesus' shit, Slaps, that comic was terrifying.
You know what's really scary?
. . .
. . .
The current state of the economy?
The current state of the economy.

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