All comics by waiji

Profile

 

by waiji
9-20-01
Hi! I'm Michiko and this is my friend Kyoko! We're asian slut-hoes and will do anything for money! We'll suck it and fuck it when the price is right!
That is correct. Let us party, big boy!
.........
I'd make out with her to bring more enthusiasm but this comic doesn't have the graphic.
I am not wearing panties.

 

by waiji
9-20-01
This is my corner, yo! You whore your yellow ass somewhere else, like, back to Canada or something!
Oh, I is so very sorry. This corner is big for two of us, yes?
Hell no, it ain't, bitch! This is my corner! Now shoo!
......
....... Yer gonna hurt me, aint'cha?
I know kungfu, bitch-ho!

 

by waiji
9-20-01
So um.... like.... how much for like... you know.... that, that... sex thing... you know?
With YOU? My rate for "ugly old, fat, white fanboys" is fifty dollah. That be an hour.
....... man. Sex is expensive. I'd have to give up that special Belldandy resin kit this week. No, I can't do that.
Hey, big boy! You can't afford none then don't come knockin'!
How about I put my arms around you and take a picture so I can show you off as my asian girlfriend instead?
That be a hundred dollah. My public image is at stake.

 

by waiji
9-20-01
Dammit! I need to show those guys that I'm not a loser and I can be trendy and have an asian girlfriend!
You can hire me for an hour and I can prance around and act like your girlfriend.
HEEY! That's a good idea! You're petite enough. Do you have a Sasami costume? Wait... hold on.... how old are you again?
How old is legal in this state to sell your ass?
Uh... 18 I think.
Then I'm 18. You white people can't tell the difference anyway.

 

by waiji
9-20-01
An RPG group gathering at Kevin's parents' basement
So, you're like, Kevin's girlfriend, eh? And you're like, asian, eh?
Yes. Until 11:30 anyway.
Aren't you like, way too young for him?
I do not think so. I am 18 and he's 20.
..... dude. Kev is like, 38.
.... You white people all look the same.

 

by waiji
9-20-01
Hey, Michiko. I've been thinking. Isn't doing this immoral and sinful profession bothering you?
Not at all. All we do is lay around, lie to men and get paid. Girls do that all the time.
Well, I just thought, you know, God would be mad at us.
Nah! What is he gonna do? Set us on fire?
WHOOOOOOSH!
.........

 

by waiji
9-20-01
Poor girl... yet I am spared. This must be a sign. I shall repent from now and live life without sin.
Well... I'm off to a new and clean life now! Here I go!
NOT... SO... FAST!
DAMMIT!

 

by waiji
9-20-01
You have sinned, my child. Though you have seen the Light and repent your ways, you're still impure in your heart.
Well then. How can I clean my heart and become pure again?
You will need to dedicate your life in the service of your Lord.
Fine fine sure sure. Can I go now?
Of course, my child. But before that, how about a handjob?
...........

 

by waiji
9-20-01
So how about it?
........ My rate for handling holy cocks is twenty five dollah.
WHAT? How dare you? I am your Lord, the one true God! And you expect Me to pay for a lousy handjob?
The Pope gave me thirty.
........ I don't have my wallet with me.
That's what they all say.

 

by waiji
9-20-01
Fifteen! My final offer!
Twenty. I'll pretend I enjoy it.
Fine. But I'll have to pay you next time.
No way. My policy is cash up front. No money no love, baby.
Ah, fuck it!
AAAAAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!

 

by waiji
9-20-01
See that, kids? Being sinful will make you feel the eternal flame of Hell! Now be nice!
..............
I'll take off this loincloth for fifteen bucks.

 

by waiji
9-20-01
Darn it! I have another RPG session coming and you've been turned to ashes! Now they'll never believe me I dated you!
...................
An intercourse is still fifty dollars, right?

 

by waiji
9-21-01
Gosh darn it! I'm so lonely! My friend made fun of me for being a 38 year old virgin and still living in my parents' house. I need to find me better friends.
...............
That kid looks 18 and asian looking. Maybe I'll make friends with him and hang out with his friends.

 

by waiji
9-21-01
Hi there! My name is Kevin! I like anime and drawing them too! You look like you could be an artist as well!
So, uh, what kind of stuff do you draw?
Dammit! I know I should've offered a drawing pen as tribute first!

 

by waiji
9-21-01
Boy oh boy! This anime con is so great! And look at that girl! I bet she likes Sailormoon and draws fan arts! And if I'm lucky enough, she'd have many asian friends too!
Hello there! You are an artist, aren't you! Would you like a drawing pen? I have plenty and it's a really nice drawing pen!
Yes! I'm IN THE ZONE!

 

by waiji
9-21-01
I used to dress up as Harlock and I looked really really good! People said that...... 10 years ago. But I still have the costume! And I also cosplay as a Drow Elf!
Man, I was a big hit with the ladies.... even the fat ones.... mostly. Then I drew them my portrait in anime style! It was a hit too!
I... uh, I... uh...
You been hitting on my girl there, punk? What? You tryin be a smartass? What? Shut up! What? I'll give you The Stunner! What?

 

by waiji
9-21-01
This is not working at all. Even fanboys at cons were laughing at me. I'm so lonely.
Wait! I know! I'll just make a deal in exchange for my soul! It's a last resort but desperate times call for desperate measures!
PLEASE GRANT ME MY WISH IN EXCHANGE FOR MY IMMORTAL SOUL!
You got the wrong person, dickwad. But I can give it a shot.

 

by waiji
9-21-01
Okay. So I get anything I want, right? So I want to be back like I was in college, no, wait, like in college but I'd be actually HOT and girls like me and I'd also be smart, really smart! And thin!
And a lot of hair on my scalp! Real hair! And I'd also like to be a drow elf, as cool as Harlock, with a girlfriend as pretty as Emeraldas but asian and likes to draw anime and and
WHOA WHOA WHOA there, asswipe! Just hold on there.
What is it? Is it too hard? I can tone it down a bit.
No, shiteyes! I am God! Nothing is too hard for Me! But I still have my standards, y'know.

 

by waiji
9-21-01
So do we have a deal or not?
Look, buttmunch. I have my image to uphold so I can't make a wish as fucking retarded as that come true.
Aw dammit! Um, sorry...
Tell you what, cocksucker. I know this guy who makes deals like that for a living. I'll refer you to him.
Um, hello.
Whooo! Another one already! This referral program sure works!

 

by waiji
9-21-01
Okay, for my soul, I would like to be young again, in my prime, but better and I'd be very handsome and likeable and looks like a gentlemen drow elf...
Make that a MONARCH drow elf, with 5 bonus points for charisma, dexterity and domestic skills and girls would swoon and adore me and I'd be the perfect gentlemen and
AAAAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHAH drow elfHAHAHAHA bonusHAAHAHA pointsUUHAHH HAHAHA oh jesusAHAHAHAH
...... was it something I said?
Oh god... It's you otakus that make this job worth it... *snort*

 

by waiji
9-21-01
So this means you won't grant me my wish?
Kevin my boy. You don't really need me to get all the attention from fanboys and fangirls!
I don't?
Of course, you don't! You could get to be all that you desire and more! All controlled at your fingertips!
Wow! How do I do that?
Well, my boy. It is called an "internet chat room".

 

by waiji
9-21-01
Wow! And I have an internet connection already! So where can I find this "chat room"?
Oh for god's sa.... Ask around! Ask your nephew!
Wow! Thank you, Mister Satan! You're a very nice guy. By the way, would you mind if I stop by or call you so we can hang...
Sorry! I'm a very busy man! Go find your nephew or something. Run along. Now.
This is so great! And I thought I'd have to get eternal pain and suffering to get this!
Well, eternal suffering is nothing compared to being you. Have a nice day!

 

by waiji
9-21-01
Man, this is great! I didn't know the internet is so useful. And here I thought it was all for downloading hentai.
Hmm, I wonder where I should go first... I don't know anybody. Have to find the right one. With many female fan artists. Let's use this search engine: shojo, yaoi, girl artists, kawai, hyper...
"Online Comic Artist Directory"! SCORE!

 

by waiji
9-25-01
Now that I've got (internet) buddies, all I need is a cute asian girl to de-virginize me then my life would be complete! (except for that special edition Min May hentai doujin)
Hm, now where can I find someone hot to do the horizontal mambo with? I'm so horny my scrotum is about to implode like the Enterprise in Star Trek 4!
Behold, mortal! It is I, Kevin Sorbo as Captain Penetrator! Behold this divine bulge and prepare thyself for some thundering Greek loving!
Funny... my ass feels tingly all of a sudden...

 

by waiji
9-25-01
I simply don't get it, Donna. Lesbian, bi, hentai fan, I tried being them all. Even promising sexual favors at cons. Guys can't keep their interest in me for long.
Have you ever thought that maybe they just don't like-- you?
Naah, that's ridiculous. I'm so kawaii and hyper! Full of genki!
Yes, yes, that's true. Silly me.

 

by waiji
9-26-01
So um, Captain... does this mean I'm not a virgin anymore? I mean, I didn't feel anything and I thought I was supposed to have sex with, you know, a girl.
Captain?
Have you seen my penis? It ran away when I tried to get it near your old, fat, otaku ass.

 

by waiji
9-28-01
Ok, Nied. I think my eyes are FUCKED. I thought I saw a flying penis just past by.
FUCK YOU, Waiji! Had you not mention it, my mind would've blocked it completely! Did you see it too, Ash?
I think so. I saw something like a rhino's penis zipped through the bushes.
Nah. That's a Greek penis if I ever know one.
A Greek penis? Surely it would like to be a close friend of DAVID MCGUIRE, award winning author of Citrusville, the highly acclaimed comic series!
Oh, great. Now everyone did a Dave McGuire joke. I hate you all.

 

by waiji
11-13-01
This chatroom sucks. Everyone in it is showing off hentai drawings of large breasted lesbians. Is everyone here a little kid?
This chatroom sucks. Everyone in it is showing off hentai drawings of large breasted lesbians. Is everyone here a little kid?
God. Kids these days. Whatever. Now I'll just plug my art of Duo giving a hard one to Heero from the back.

 

by waiji
10-03-02
And so Kevin tries online romance (and stalking)...
Hello! It is me, Kenji from OCAD! You must be HoneyPie18! Nice to meet you!
Uh, sorry, I was supposed to meet a bishonen long haired high elf...
And tries again...
Hello! You must be KawaiChan-Neko! I'm Kenji! I made you a fanart of myself as an elf!
My mommy said I will get fucked up the ass by old perv otaku one day.
And again...
Excuse, have you seen a cute asian girl goes by the nickname HotLing-chan?
Well, hello! You must be Kenji!

 

by waiji
10-03-02
What?!! How dare these childish miscreants mock my art! I have a right for free speech! Yaoi is art!
"Your male characters are shallow and generic. You called them masculine yet they lack any masculinity." THIS IS CRAP!
There is nothing more masculine than taking it up the shitter!!

 

by waiji
10-03-02
Alright!! Now THIS guy understands my plea! He's not squemish at hot bishonen love-rape! And he's only 17!
Wow! He lives in the area too! I'm gonna email him so we could meet. I'm going to show him my Zetsuai manga collection!
...........
HELLO! I AM KENJI! YOU ARE VERY KAWAII!

 

by waiji
10-03-02
Hey, c'mon, we can be good friends! Or even more! We both like anime right? And manga? And Star Trek?
Look, buddy, er, old man, er, whatever. I'm not interested, okay?
Why not? We have so much in common! We like anime and uh... more anime! You draw too! I like drawing!
Yeah, your doodles look like an ass print of a retarded monkey.
I also like dressing up as a bishonen elf...
Well hello!

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