All comics by Flux

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by Flux
6-05-01
Life has gotten so dull and routine lately.
How about a nice case of gonorrhoea?
Well fuck me. I'm pissing fire.

 

by Flux
6-05-01
Fuck all races out there that hate on asians. Jus cuz we got the $gurls, $cars, $money and $drugz!!! Shieeeet motherfuckahs we got got it all.....Its not our fault, its in our genetics
so is a small cock
It's okay man....No need to be jelous

 

by Flux
6-05-01
Out, damned spot! out, I say!--One: two: why, then, 'tis time to do't.--Hell is murky!--Fie, my lord, fie! a soldier, and afeard?
What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account?--Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him.
what the hell??
homo
I hate that fucking bug

 

by Flux
6-05-01
Somewhere in Vietnam...
What do we get for $10?
Every-ting you want!
Everything?
Every-ting!
I'm so gonna score!
Me so horny! Me love you long time!

 

by Flux
6-06-01
Chris Rock bein' Def
You know one cool thing about women? They get to have platonic friends.
Men don't have platonic friends. We just have women we haven't fucked YET. "As soon as I figure this out, I'm in there!"
I mean, we got SOME platonic friends, but they're all by accident. Every platonic friend I got is some woman I was trying to fuck, I made a wrong turn somewhere, and ended up in the friend zone.
whatever. fag.

 

by Flux
6-06-01
United States had these nuclear thingies in Europe, so Russian was all like, " nah punk" and placed silos in Cuba.
Nyet Capitalist Dogski!
US found out and was all like, "bitch, don't you dare" and took some of its ships and made the soviet union back off like a punk ass biotch. But America was all like, "fine, I wont invade Cuba or noth
Bitch!
Hoski!
It almost ended the world but didn't. When it was done Kennedy was all like, "thank god for that, now lets get us some prime slices of ass!"
I want to touch you there.

 

by Flux
6-06-01
I needs to get me some.
Are we close to a seafood restaurants dumpster, or is it just you?
SHORYUKEN!!
I think I punctured a nut, but at least I saw her panties.

 

by Flux
6-06-01
Little Bunny Foo Foo, hopping through the forest.....
hippity hop, hippity hop
Picking up the field Jons.....
Well hi there.
what the....
And banging them in the ass.
Now where's that good fairy
~squeeeeeeeaaaaal~

 

by Flux
6-06-01
Public Access, Channel 59
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
something something something something something macarena...
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena
something something something something something something close ta bwena
That's it for today kids. Join us next time for another new episode of "Dancing Like a Complete Fag"
Please God, no more.

 

by Flux
6-06-01
Canada, West Coast
This is my old neighborhood in East Vancouver
Can you give me a cigarrett? *hack cough* Want a blowjob?
I lived here for 2 years with these kinds of people.
You gonna just shrow out sthat can of oven cleaner? I'll give you thish shtick for it.
I wonder how long it'll be before they start finding the bodies.
Wanna rub my nipples?

 

by Flux
6-06-01
I'm here today to talk about a very serious issue, the illegal (and all together icky) practice of donkey lust.
Look at the sadness, the pain, the suffering in his eyes. What if this were YOUR donkey? What then?
Won't you please join me in my walk accross America for this worthy cause? Remember, only YOU can prevent donkey lust!
I swear to God, if you screw this up for me....

 

by Flux
6-07-01
I spend every day on this stupid bench, talking to a squirrel.
Maybe its time I got out, went new places, met new people.
I like to poop.
Maybe not....

 

by Flux
6-07-01
Why have you forsaken me, lucky charms?
My comic was funny, it wasn't blasfomous.
You had me getting my nuts scratched my a robot, and robots = evil. I condem you to hell!
I'm a sinner. I'm sorry baby Jesus.
....... I love you.
How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I’m somebody else?

 

by Flux
6-07-01
Roundhouse Kick
HAI!
Ooooh, neck cramp!
Sliding Kick
SAH!
Hey, that hurt!
Nut Punch
KOH!
OWWW! My jimmy!

 

by Flux
6-07-01
Ever had dirty goat sex before?
I don't know...that sounds kind of painful.
Only a little the first time...but you'll like it.
Well....if you say so....
Butt sex0r is cool.
oooooooh yeah! He was right!

 

by Flux
6-07-01
Eh? Who are you?
Hey there sugar-ass.
Well, I guess that couldn't hurt.
I'm your new best friend. Want to go to the gay theater with me? I'll pay.
I feel so dirty....yet, so fullfilled
Didn't even flinch when I bent him over and shoved that turkey sandwich up his ass.

 

by Flux
6-07-01
You knew this was coming
What's the hell's this I hear about you putting me in cartoons getting arrested on sex charges?
Umm.... I don't know what you're talking about.
You know exactly what I'm talking about, goat-fucker!
*gasp*
You probably knew this was coming too
What do you have to say for yourself?
I'm magically delicious!

 

by Flux
6-07-01
More truth comes out
Alright you son of a bitch. Get the hell out of that "Flux" costume!
I'm such a thilly billy!
Yeah, that's better. You just keep your goat-lovin' ways to yourself. You sicko.
It's a sickness. Actually, I just really like goats. Spank my ass and tell me you love me.....
I am SO gonna kick your ass!
No need to thop there! I'm a double-fister! Ball up your hands just like this and jam them in there!

 

by Flux
6-07-01
Over the last few hours, we've seen quite a few negative comics exchanged between 2 artists, Flux and lucky charms.
We here at low pass industries don't need this type of negativity associated with us. Therefore, we've created...
...the Help Find A New Place For Flux and lucky charms To Bitch Slap Each Other Foundation.
I'm gonna donkey-punch you like I did your moms last night.
I'm going to come back with witty, yet slightly homophobic ... umm .... comebacks.
Please call in and give what you can. Your donations can mean oh so much.
*ring ring*

 

by Flux
6-07-01
Hi there Cowboy Bob. Wasup wit you?
Not a whole hell of a lot, you crazy cow poker. What you upto tonight? I gotta go shopping for some new cowboy clothes.
You know.... I've got this pair of assless AND crotchless fur-lined chaps at home I picked up from the flea market....
No shit? I've always wanted to try on a pair of those.
Yippee-Ki-Yay!!!!
Such a damn pain in the ass taking off my regular chaps for our games of Ride The White Pony.

 

by Flux
6-07-01
111001001 0000 11110 01101010 101010 001 11010010101 01010101?
Well, we HAVE been dating for 3 months already.
110100 1001 01010 101010 001 0101 01 110100100101 01 011010101 0101 01?
Well why don't you give it a try, big boy?
110010001 001011001 010101000 11001001 1111011110111 0111101 0010101!!!!
wrong....ugh....hole....damnit...

 

by Flux
6-07-01
*So I finally scored with my human girlfriend* **Why do you insist on dating that soft fleshy being?**
*145 535D A290 10 59C 1B4 542 536B42D23B 541C4*
**FC4F8B 52E032 5C009A32 3 92 BB6DC62A 1496A29A 2E 471798D 315**
*I don't understand why you mock me like this. Why can't you just be happy for me?* **Fine, I apologize. I'm happy for you. Well, as long as you didn't input to her output port**
*1D384CDBE 132FD 1844D275C 13555C91 3DB 3882A 3882A 3DB 5F307891625 28E*
**686C95 14E4147E2D 204 9687EE 119A0509DA A8A 1FDB542D9CB 762 2674**
*Hahahahahahahaha*
*A6438719E9A0D847*
*A6438719E9A0D847*

 

by Flux
6-08-01
Ugh. Its midnight and I'm not even tired yet, but I have to get up in less than 7 hours.
A nice gentle ass-rub usually puts me out.
Maybe I can finish off that 5th of Scotch I've got in the freezer. Maybe that'll put me out.
Haha. Too late, shit-drinker.
Well fuck me in the ass and call me Mary Lou Henner.
DEUCE HELP! DEUCE HELP!

 

by Flux
6-08-01
I say old bean. Tonights performance of Shakespeare On Ice is quite envigorating.
Right right, pip pip, cheerio. My word! I've just farted!
Well its about bloody time, you big nosed camel jockeying curry smelling beaner!
Ah've got yo' bottle of Croatian Rukatac Smokvica, guv'nah, the finest wine of the house!
Did I mention the actors are naked? With really big boobies?
Bloody hell! You know you're not supposed to just drink Croatian Rukatac Smokvica out of a paper bag, you silly twit!
Whatever was I thinking? I must have swallowed too much salt water while out on the yatch this morning. While I was screwing your wife.

 

by Flux
6-08-01
Hey dude, your entry for Comic Contest #35 was fucking weak. Dude, you need to work a little bit on your material, that was pretty lame.
You don't want to make Assbot angry. You wouldn't like Assbot when he's angry!
Yeah, whatever biznatch.
ITS....HAPPENING.... AGAIN....GRRRAAAWWWGG....
Teeheehee. You're such a ho.
GRRRAAAWWRRGgg..... ah shit.

 

by Flux
6-08-01
Just got back from a washroom break at work, and damn did it ever reek in there. In case you don't know, we recently moved our office to the top floor of the building.
When we were down on the second floor, the washroom hardly ever reeked. Now, every other time you go in there, the shit smell bitch slaps you as you walk through the doors.
Supposedly, the higher up you go, the classier the people who work there.
Damn dirty rich people.

 

by Flux
6-08-01
Saturday night at the Snake Pit...
Hey there sweet thang. What's your name?
I'm Betsy-Sue, you big hunk of man steak.
Memories...
I think I remember a Betsy-Sue.....
I wonder if he remembers me.
Oooooh yeah...
Weren't you at Bear Nutz biker gang-bang a few months ago?
How sweet! You remembered.

 

by Flux
6-08-01
10 years ago a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a millitary court for a crime they didn't commit.
*Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith* I love it when a plan comes together.
*Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock* Bee careful weeth that. Eet took me 'ours to bake eet.
These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune.
*Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck* So, uh....You doing anything Saturday night?
*Sergeant B.A. Baracus* I ain't afraid to fly, and I ain't afraid of no monkeys either!
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire, The A-Team
must....keep....watching...
dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dunnnn

 

by Flux
6-09-01
Pencil
Orange
Book
Kitty
And that concludes the "4 Unfunny Words" strip.
Thank you.
Thank you.

 

by Flux
6-10-01
My balogna pony has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R
My balogna pony has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R
Oh I love to eat it everyday, and if you ask me why I'll saaayyy
'Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A
So what do you say? You wanna ride the white balogna pony?
Well, the dancing WAS a nice touch.....

 

by Flux
6-10-01
Pointing at a sign the says "No Dumping Allowed"
Pointing at a sign the says "No Dumping Allowed"
Soft serve ice cream, dump trucks,...
Pointing at a sign the says "No Dumping Allowed"
Ahahahahaha, you read the sign buddy

 

by Flux
6-11-01
It's odd how the media lately has been leaning us all towards being more open about homosexuality lately.
...Especially on NBC
Tonight on Will and Grace, Will learns the true meaning of Christmas when the mall Santa loses his Ass Greaseâ„¢ during their Balogna Pony ride.
...ESPECIALLY on NBC
Damn, Ross be lookin' GOOD in those leather pants!
Just keep smiling and maybe he'll stop staring at my testicles.

 

by Flux
1-31-03
Comical fun for the whole family.
I sure do love reading online comics. All sorts of nasty stuff in there for me to try out.
Ah hell. Not again.
I read this one online comic where this dude stuck his wang in the computer's CD-Rom drive. I'll bet that would be awsome!
Please stop.
OH YEAH! READ THAT FILE STRUCTURE BABY! TAKE AAAAAALLLLLL THE INPUT!
Oh God!!! My anus is bleeding!!!

 

by Flux
1-31-03
In the halls of Seagate Software....
H.....hey there Suzy! Hold up a minute!
What in the HELL is that smell?
Ummm..... I've seen you around..... Actually, I've even followed you home and watched through your window with binoculars....
Shit, what can I say to get rid of this guy?
Wh....what I'm trying to ask is, would you like to be my girlfriend?
Umm..... I have a partner...

 

by Flux
1-31-03
The more you know.....
I've been asked to do this presentation as part of my community service. Through it, I hope we can all learn why stereotyping people is wrong.
Here we see that not all Mexicans are lazy, sleepy people. This one seems quite active, and perhaps enjoys employment as a bullfighter.
Olé! Chimichanga burrito taco grandé! Ayee yiii yiiiii!!
The more you know.....
And here we clearly see that not all Italians are chefs or mobsters. Italian people should not be stereotyped. Thank you and goodnight.
It'sa me! Mario! I'ma gonna savea the princess!

 

by Flux
1-31-03
Geko
Kumquat
Orangutang
Balogna
And that concludes the "4 Funny Words" strip.
Thank you.
Thank you.

 

by Flux
1-31-03
In the halls of some anonymous office building....
H.....hey there Betty! Hold up a minute!
What in the HELL is that smell?
Ummm..... I've seen you around..... Actually, I'm the guy who's been sniffing your chair after you leave at the end of the day.....
Shit, what can I say to get rid of this guy?
Wh....what I'm trying to ask is, do you like "small" guys?
Umm..... I have a partner...

 

by Flux
1-31-03
It just keeps going....
You realize you slammed yourself in that last strip more than you did me, right?
What?? Did I?? Umm, fiddlesticks.
and going....
And by "slammed", I'm not talking about any of that fairy Edmonton shit you're into, guy. I don't play for that team.
Yeah, well, just let me grab my jacket and we can discuss it over drinks and....
and going....
Hey hey hey buddy, I thought I told you eyes above the prize.
~sigh~

 

by Flux
1-31-03
Clearing the air
We really should think about ending this.
Ok.
for once
Let bygones be bygones so to speak.
I like it Buffy style..... rough.
and for all
This guy sounds like a total fudgepacker. I'd better be careful.
Umm.... you know I'm a total fudgepacker, right?

 

by Flux
1-31-03
Och! Eye, ah've been away from the bonny plains of me mother Scotland for too long, och!
What the hell you talking like a fruitcake for? And this isn't Scotland, this is Canada. Noo doot aboot it!
Och! Eye, you're crazy! These are the glens where eye would go mucking aboot with me mates. Blimey we would get blammoed right off our arses, me mate!
Ha! There, you said "aboot"! That proves that you're Canadian like me, eh! And half the crap you said was British slang, you tool.
~Sob~ You're right. I'm so ashamed.
And another thing. Who the hell ever heard of a Scottish cowboy???

 

by Flux
2-01-03
Yeah, I loves me Elftor.
Yo Homeboy!


Peep dis shit! I was gettin wit like fiddy hoes, and I ain't worn no rubbers wit non'a dem!
Pardon?





I do say!
Your coarse manners befits your lowly breeding.



Certainly not! I must be of sound mind for my university examinations this afterlunch!
You wanna smoke dis fat blunt wit me or what?









Nigga say what?
Stop everything! There was a mixup in the script!
How very curious!
Word?

 

by Flux
2-01-03
So this is your new "Pimp Palace" that you were telling me about, eh?
Yeah, what do you think? It's Neuveaux Dungeon.
I don't know. The chains on the wall and the rack full of whips and .... plugs .... seem kind of odd.
Yeah, well those are just there for when company comes by. I like to entertain, you know.
Geez, could you possibly be ANY gayer?
That sounds like a challenge, to me, you big thilly!

 

by Flux
2-01-03
Yeah, so what do you think? Doesn't this place just totally ~scream~ Nelix?
Well, it's interesting, I'll give you that much. All those whips and gimp masks kind of make me uncomfortable, though.
Really, it's mostly all just for show. I hardly even use most of the stuff in here.
Well, that may be ....
.... but then how do you explain the miniature goat?
baaaaah

 

by Flux
2-01-03
Come on, now. You know you want some of this sweet thang.
Ummm, no thanks. I'm really not into that.
Aww, come on, be a sport. We can even do it Edmonton-style!
Edmonton-style? Heyyyy, wait a minute. You're Nelix in a goat suit! Again! Take that damn thing off!
Umm.... it's kind of hard to do it Edmonton-style if at least one of us isn't in a goat suit.....
Fruit.

 

by Flux
2-01-03
MAN have I ever been getting Flux good in my comics. I'm da soopa pimp man, yO!
Yae, the path of the wicked is waved with bickity bams and online comic burns.
Path of the wicked? Well that doesn't sound too spiffy. Is there anything I can do to redeem myself?
Yae, and the Lord said to me, "Sayeth to Nelix to turn around and prepare himself for my coming"
Are you REALLY sure this is what "missionary position" means?
Yae, so it is written in "Father Hornyton Does Dallas", so let it be done. Yay!

 

by Flux
2-01-03
Sucky sucky, five dollah!
Sorry, I don't like asian girls.
Hey there cutie-pie. Why don't you bring that little snausage on over here?
Sorry, I don't like white girls either.
We always suspected as much
Baaaaah.
Sweet Jesus be praised! I loves me goats!

 

by Flux
2-01-03
Nelix persues the situation
Well hey there sweet cheeks. What do you say to me, you, a jar of olives, and some plum sauce?
Oh shit, not this fruitcake again. Maybe if I ignore him he'll go away.
O come on now, if you'll look behind you, I think you'll see a little present I have for you.
God, that had better not be what I think it is....
Damnit, I told you, NO EDMONTON-STYLE!
Maybe if I get him really drunk first....

 

by Flux
2-01-03
Damn that was awsome. That goat suit you wore sure was convincing.
EEEEOOOH EEEEOOH
Wasn't quite as good as I'm sure Flux would have been if he'd only wear the goat suit and let me have my way with him, but it'll do for now.
EEEEOOOH EEEEOOH
OOOOh, just thinking of Flux makes me feel all tingly. Down there. In my pants. I'm talking about my penis.
fag

 

by Flux
2-04-03
CSI: Miami
Doesn't seem to be any signs of forced entry.
I wouldn't be so sure about that.
So the one cop says "There doesn't seem to be any signs of forced entry.
And then the other cop is all "I wouldn't be so sure about that".
See, it's funny cause the first cop was talking about the house, while the second cop was talking about the dead dude's butt.
Umm.... yeah.... good story dude.

 

by Flux
2-04-03
So son, tell me. How many girls called you today?
None....
Well, how many girls called you yesterday?
Umm...none....
Well, you know what they say, son. Zero plus zero = fag.
....

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