All comics by Jdude

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by Jdude
4-27-04
License and registration, please.
Man, I didn't do shit! You can't pin nothin on me! The white man be oppressin! I know my rights!!
Sir, you were going 25 in a 50mph zone, I wanted to check and see if...
HELP! HEEEELP! I'M BEIN REPRESSED! ITS RODNEY KING PART 2! BACK OFF PIG!
..so the jerk let me off with a warning. Now how am I gonna find out what jail food tastes like?
Maybe they deliver?

 

by Jdude
4-27-04
Can you believe it? That fuckin' retard Monroe wanted to get arrested so that he could taste what fuckin' prison food tasted like.
He is such a little fucking bitch.
Well, I heard he bought some fuckin' digging equipment and shit so that he could break IN to prison.
He has no fuckin clue... They're gonna eat him alive in there.
*Romantic music plays*
Hey, sweet thang! You wanna get spunky?
No, not particularly... altohugh, I think I would like some fo that chicken you offered to feed me earlier.

 

by Jdude
4-27-04
Hey bob, what's up?
Nothin much.
I hate you Bob.

 

by Jdude
4-28-04
Dance with me, home-jiggy!
Word!
Five days later....
uhn.. uhn.. Shake it!
Wait, didn't I order a taco?

 

by Jdude
4-28-04
All right, I got the goods. So, why did you want to meet out here in this grave yard, Brad Pitt?
Shut it, shithead. I'm in charge now!
Oh no! Its a set up! I thought you were one of us, man!
Well, you were wrong, gringo! Don't move or I'll plug you with my .38! I'm Brad Pitt, and I'm a rogue bullet! Did you see me in Fight Club? I was the frickin' shit!
No, but I DID see you in the Mexican...
Man, fuck you.

 

by Jdude
4-28-04
Oh I'm out in the desert on a horse with no name, how I'd love to get out of the rain...
I'm not a horse, I'm a cow! And my name is Steven!
In the desert, they don't remember your name...
Maybe because we aren't even IN the desert I think we're in Oregon.
you are such an asshole.

 

by Jdude
4-28-04
When you can grasp the stone from my hand, grasshopper, you're training will be complete.
You have much to teach me, sensei.
Alright... try to guess which hand its in!
Damn!

 

by Jdude
4-28-04
hey, buddy, you know how fast you were going back there?
Why, I believe I was only going 35.. well within the legal limit, officer.
Actually, I clocked you going close to 25,000 mph, plus I caught you blowing up a small middle-eastern country back at that last stoplight.
Damn, that wasn't my fault! He swerved right into me!
Nevertheless, I'm going to have to give you a ticket. Do you have proof of insurance?
My wife is going to kill me...

 

by Jdude
4-28-04
Dum dee dum dum... walkin on water... yep yep yep.
Hey! I'm walkin here! Who the hell are you?
Step aside, red. I'm moses, and I'm here to part this here sea.
To be continued...
I was here first, jagoff!
You want a piece of this, bitch? Bring it on!

 

by Jdude
4-28-04
You ready for this? I'm totally gonna beat the...
WHOA! Lookout! Shark!!
EEEEK! Where??
HA HA! Made you look! What a chump!
Thats not funn... uh-oh...
*munch munch*

 

by Jdude
4-28-04
Heh heh heh... Cletus is gonna use this here tello-phone to do wunna dem crank calls.
Hello? Pizza Valve, can I take your order?
Cluetus wants wunna yer "pies" with extra "sauce," if you know what I mean! Cletus wants what you got HOT with lotsa SPICE, baby!
Cletus can't wait to eat that pizza!

 

by Jdude
4-28-04
Teach me how to love again.

 

by Jdude
4-28-04
Radiocarbon dates suggest that the statuette we have found actually came from the FUTURE!
EGAD!
Why does our boat keep stopping? Whats going on in that creepy laboratory??
I'm a scientist/gym teacher, and it is my SCIENTIFIC opinion that you need to shut up.
You invented a time machine, didn't you?
No...

 

by Jdude
4-28-04
I send you a warning message... from the future...with, uh, with RADIATION!
Zowie!
I'm a creepy, leering janitor
I'm a sweaty loser.
THE END!!!
When will people of the present ever learn to stop fighting and start loving? Our world is dying and nobody even tries to right the wrongs of the past! Life is an enigma wrapped within a question...
Shut up. You are ugly and I hate you.

 

by Jdude
4-28-04
*gasp* me so thirsty... gonna die soon... I'd do anything for something to drink...
I will save your life, mortal... for a price!
Huh? Oh, cool... water. This aint so bad...
Hey, fella! What did you think of last night's "American Idol?" I think that Justin has just the best singing voice...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by Jdude
4-29-04
Hi, I'm Garrett, and I'm a big fat jerk.
Can I have some ram?
No.
I hate you.

 

by Jdude
4-29-04
Hi im Josh and im a Poser
I dont like THRILLER
DUDE ITS THRILLER!!! THRILLER!!!........THRILLER......"Thats Ignorant"
DUDE THRILLER!!!

 

by Jdude
4-29-04
Our hero, Captain Laziness, in his fortress of solitude (i.e. Morrison Hall)...
HAHA! I chose to play computer games instead of complete my homework! These actions will be looked upon by future generations as being the most courageous!
*ARRGG!* *GARRETT_K has been killed by CYBERBEEF (pointed_stick)*
Here is your test back... you got a 3%. You have flunked out of math yet again.
Hooray! That makes 13 times in a row!
Good there, Mr. Laziness guy. This here's a medal for your braveness and brave... uh, braver.
THanks, Mr. President, but I did it for the good of the nation!

 

by Jdude
4-29-04
Mamma Mia, this is a gonna be the best a christmas ever!
RARWR!
Wait a sec, I know you!
Turn atround so I can chase you!
I don't wanna!

 

by Jdude
4-30-04
Episode 1: The origin of MAC BOY!
Whats this? A note? GASP!! THey have kidnapped my family! NOOOOOO!!!
HAHA! Its too late, boy! I, Bill Gates, have already stolen your family's source code and re-sold it as my own product! I call it "Windows ME!" Join me, lad, and we will rule the world together!
No... I'll never join you!
From that day forth, he vowed vengeance...
With God as my witness, I will defeat you, Microsoft! I will do what none other is willing to do... I will buy a MACINTOSH COMPUTER!!!

 

by Jdude
7-25-05
BE GONNE, VILEST OF DEMONS! FOR I HATH SMITEN THEE.
uhh... fine.
3 hours later...
*whistle* ..yes-ser! Thats mah- babay! No.. OHHH!!! GOD DAMMIT!!!
So I said to him, 'YEAH? Well, you won't be so tough once I SMITE your ASS with my HOOF!' HA!!
I'm so fat...

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