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Dramatis Personae
Andy Dougan film critic extraordinaire. Enjoys illegal pornography and biscuits.
Russell Crowe actor and poet. Husband to a trophy wife. Father to a trophy son.
Huw Edwards BBC news anchor. The Hunky Face of TeatimeÂ®.
George W. Bush President. Defended the whorehouses of Houston from the Viet Cong.
Christian Slater certifiable actor. The id to Crowe's ego.
Osama and Mullah Omar fugitives. Kandahar's answer to Bert and Ernie.

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Rivers of blood

by andydougan
1-27-03

Tony Blair on ejecting asylum seekers


	The problem with removing people is that, under the obligations we have, you can't remove someone to a country where they might be subject to torture. (ACTUAL QUOTE!)


	Gee, that is a problem.


	(Not that those "obligations" mean much. The other month a Zimbabwean dissident killed herself because the Home Office refused her asylum.)


	But at least you're getting all uptight about some cricket team going to Zimbabwe. That makes up for it.

Abu Hamza, madman


	If the measures don't work, we will have to consider further measures, including fundamentally looking at the obligations we have under the Convention on Human Rights. (ACTUAL QUOTE)


	Meanwhile, when I'm not openly inciting Muslims to murder, I'm drawing broo and incapacity benefit. Just as well I'm a British citizen! OSAMA IS KING!

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