andydougan
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Dramatis Personae
Andy Dougan film critic extraordinaire. Enjoys illegal pornography and biscuits.
Russell Crowe actor and poet. Husband to a trophy wife. Father to a trophy son.
Huw Edwards BBC news anchor. The Hunky Face of TeatimeÂ®.
George W. Bush President. Defended the whorehouses of Houston from the Viet Cong.
Christian Slater certifiable actor. The id to Crowe's ego.
Osama and Mullah Omar fugitives. Kandahar's answer to Bert and Ernie.

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Portrait of the Amazon reviewer as a young man

by andydougan
6-03-03


	*Normally a very relaxed (some may say apathetic and pacifistic) individual, I once heard my English teacher saying that Ulysses* was nothing but complete garbage.**


	I calmly stood up and punched him in the throat, and I received polite applause as I was escorted from the classroom.


	*Later on, when I reread a section of Ulysses* near the middle, I discovered that he was completely right.**


	But you know what? That's life. And that sense of living pours off Joyce's pages and through his eccentric mouldings of the English language like a waterfall.


	I wish I'd studied philosophy or something.


	One Big King meal with freedom fries. Hold the phlegm.

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andydougan stripcreator donor

andydougan
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