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Dramatis Personae
Andy Dougan film critic extraordinaire. Enjoys illegal pornography and biscuits.
Russell Crowe actor and poet. Husband to a trophy wife. Father to a trophy son.
Huw Edwards BBC news anchor. The Hunky Face of Teatime®.
George W. Bush President. Defended the *****houses of Houston from the Viet Cong.
Christian Slater certifiable actor. The id to Crowe's ego.
Osama and Mullah Omar fugitives. Kandahar's answer to Bert and Ernie.


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by andydougan
Hold on a second. My kids have just come into the room.
Hmm. Your splayed **** is slightly less attractive to me now that I know babies emanated from it.
You don't know how sorry I am to hear that.
Well, could you at least put them on the computer so I can "groom" them?
I don't know why women never have sex with me. It must be because they only care about looks.
You know, I warned your mum that smoking PCP while pregnant was a bad idea...
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