Well, folks... here it is... the CC before CC 300. The only thing that even comes close to hosting such a landmark contest is being the one who gets to pick who hosts it. (At least, that's what I'm telling myself since I'm not eligible in my own contest.) And so, here's what I want you to do:
(This would be the part called Rules. Or Guidelines. Or Things To Ignore Because You're a Jerk.)
1. Tell me why you should be the host of Contest 300. Treat this like an election campaign. Talk yourself up. Talk your opponents down. Run a clean campaign. Sling mud. Heck, sling feces for all I care.
2. You're limited to 10 comics, so get to the point when you're slinging your fecal mud.
3. I'm a clean jokes kind of guy, so you get extra points for avoiding sexual innuendo and profanity.
4. I also like puns, so you get extra points for those, too. Especially clever ones.
5. More like addendum to 4. Except kaufman, whose extra points will all go to charity. (This will help to eliminate my admitted bias toward that cat-monger.)
6. The most important rule. This contest is about you and your foes. No sucking up to the judge, even if he does deserve it. Any contestant caught with lips attached to my hind-end will be disqualified. And possibly stalked once the scandal has died down. Followed by a marriage proposal.
Those are the main rules. Other things like no old comics, no photoshops, no calling me girly man when you see me playing any kind of sport... those go without saying. Even though I said them.
Have fun! Oh yeah, and make me laugh. Judging will be in approximately one week.
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This is not my empire.
