Well, folks... here it is... the CC before CC 300. The only thing that even comes close to hosting such a landmark contest is being the one who gets to pick who hosts it. (At least, that's what I'm telling myself since I'm not eligible in my own contest.) And so, here's what I want you to do:

(This would be the part called Rules. Or Guidelines. Or Things To Ignore Because You're a Jerk.)

1. Tell me why you should be the host of Contest 300. Treat this like an election campaign. Talk yourself up. Talk your opponents down. Run a clean campaign. Sling mud. Heck, sling feces for all I care.

2. You're limited to 10 comics, so get to the point when you're slinging your fecal mud.

3. I'm a clean jokes kind of guy, so you get extra points for avoiding sexual innuendo and profanity.

4. I also like puns, so you get extra points for those, too. Especially clever ones.

5. More like addendum to 4. Except kaufman, whose extra points will all go to charity. (This will help to eliminate my admitted bias toward that cat-monger.)

6. The most important rule. This contest is about you and your foes. No sucking up to the judge, even if he does deserve it. Any contestant caught with lips attached to my hind-end will be disqualified. And possibly stalked once the scandal has died down. Followed by a marriage proposal.

Those are the main rules. Other things like no old comics, no photoshops, no calling me girly man when you see me playing any kind of sport... those go without saying. Even though I said them.

Have fun! Oh yeah, and make me laugh. Judging will be in approximately one week.

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This is not my empire.

CC 299 by mandingo 10-01-05

Hey, mandingo. How did your parole hearing go with the Stripcreator Council of Legends? Not good, interrogative African. I told them if I was elected to run Comic Contest 300 that I would use perfect spelling, grammar, and capitalization, just like I'm doing in this comic. What did they say? They said I still need to atone for taking on the establishment when I got here. I either have to get naked and run around the block, make a statue using my own feces, or carry 100 stones around. So, in a nutshell... Strip, create, or rocks.

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what if nigger meant kite

CC 299: you know it, i know it, the american people know it by mandingo 10-01-05

if elected, mandingo promises not to eat any more elderly SCREEEEEECH and not to make it look like a heart attack SCREEEEEECH or a robbery gone bad SCREEE      grandma?

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what if nigger meant kite

CC 299 by areallystupidguy 10-01-05

if i am elected host of CC 300, i can guarantee a brilliant subject for the milestone competition! and the winner is... AREALLYSTUPIDGUY! alright! you won't regret it! the next day... CC 300: make a comic about how undeserving and terrible a host of this milestone competition i truly am. i hate life.

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It's grime time.

CC 299:At least I'm willing to admit it.

So, fzh, why should you host CC300? I shouldn't.

by fzh, 10-01-05

I love you, mandingo...in a sorta sexual tensiony kinda way.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

CC 299: Who Could Argue With This by biped 10-02-05

HEE HAW!!! ME DOG-ON-BALL!!! ME THINK BIPED SHOULD BE HOST OF NEXT COMICS CONTEST!!! VROOM-VROOM!!! ME RACE CAR!!! NO, WAIT!!! ME SPACE MONSTER!!! BEEP-BEEP!!! GET OUT OF WAY, OR ME EAT YOUR ENTIRE STUPID PLANET, BUTTFACE!!! GRR!!! BIPED AM THE GREATEST!!! YOU NO THINK SO? OH!!! YOU AM STUPID BUTTFACE!!! GOO-GOO!!! KISS MY BUTT, BUTTFACE!!! BOING-BWOING!!! ME WRITE SONG ABOUT BIPED!!! "BEEP-BEEP, HIM KISS MY BUTT!!! HIM BIG, FAT BUTTFACE, JUST LIKE YOU!!! WOOF-WOOF!!!" "HE WILL SMELL MY BUTT, JUST LIKE YOU!!! LA-LA-LA!!! AND KISS IT, TOO!!! OH, BIPED AM SUPER-GAY!!! MEOW!!! ME KITTY CAT!!!" HEE-HAW!!! ME GET CHAINSAW AND KILL YOU WITH IT!!! AND THEN ME GO CAMPING WITH ATTITUDECHICKA!!! GRRR!!! ME AM HER DEITY!!! POOP!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

well let's work some of that tension out, sailor

CC 299: News Conference by mandingo 10-02-05

people say to me, mandingo... mandingo, they say, using direct address a bit redundantly, why do you run such a clean campaign when all of your opponents are such mudslingers? Interrogative African, i say, or Mentally Impaired Polack, or whatever subspecies i happen to be talking to, i say that's because i'm a people person. and as a people person, my Headquarters is a bar. then i take them back to Headquarters, buy them a few drinks, slip them a roofie and steal their wallet. but not their jewelry. you know why? because you're a people person?

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what if nigger meant kite

CC 299 : Pleas For A Piece by finn34 10-02-05

A vote for Finn34 is like a vote for kidnapping Jennifer Love Hewitt... ... and performing sexy experiments on her.

CC299 : Please? For Peace? by finn34 10-02-05

Unlike his opponents, Finn34 has never been involved in the sale of Napalm to Cuban refugees. He's never purjured himself in a court of law regarding unsafe kitchen utensils. Finn34 : Loves America, Kitties, Babies and the Elderly.

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

CC 299: The superior man by NeoVid 10-02-05

NeoVid, why do you believe you should run Contest 300? Because I'm delusional. I see. Do you have any reasons normal people would want you to run CC 300? SC doesn't have any of those. But... I've been a reg here since two months after the site was created. I think I should get to run another contest before I keel over from geezerism. Right... Also, it would just about double the number of comic contests I've won.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

CC 299: Compelling reasons by lukket 10-02-05

... but according to a spokesman from Pepsi, the rumours are false, and Kanye West is still ... Hold it right there. We've got important breaking news. Steve, you've got an exclusive live interview with lukket!? That's right Katie. Now lukket, you want to run CC 300. Why? It's not a question of what I want. Everybody here would be more than happy to see a CC without any of my comics, and if I win CC 299, everybody wins. He's got a strong point there! Yeah. This is going to be a very easy decision for flickguy.

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troelsea at gmail dot com

CC 299: The Following Is A Paid Political Announcement by biped 10-02-05

Hi, fellow stripcreators! I'm biped! I think I should get to host CC #300 because -- Hello America, I'm Lyndon LaRouche. And I'm running for President of the United States again. So vote for me, or -- Hey, wait a minute, I paid for this airtime, so I don't think -- Folks, Ross Perot here. Can I talk? Are you gonna allow me to get a word in, biplane? Huh? Now, ya see, this is just sad -- Look, I -- HEY! GET THAT "VERY SPECIAL EPISODE" OF "DIFF'RENT STROKES" OFF OF HERE! I DIDN'T GET TO SAY ANYTHING! ...and that's why the "funny" man in the park touched you there, Arnold, and why you shouldn't be ashamed to tell Mr. Drummond.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Of course that's not what an entry for this contest is supposed to be but anyway:

CC 299: The Inevitable Way To Make Friendy The Host of CC300 by friendy 10-02-05

For that we need help of our friend the magician. One, two, three, now you are the most terrible sadist the world has ever known, flickguy. And so the winner of CC 299 is ... Friendy. Hey, Friendy, crawl out, I'm not gonna host CC 300 for you!

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Disclaimer: Sorry if some of my comics are offensive to somebody. They are created in a light-hearted mood and aren’t intended to hurt anyone.

CC 299 by HCRoyall 10-03-05

Contrary to his campaign claims, mandingo has no intentions of stopping his binge on eating the elderly. He even likes to baste them in Ben-Gay beforehand so they have that strong minty flavor. Vote for HCRoyall and stop mandingo from eating old people so they can be used properly as the main ingredient in dog food. I'm there for the hungry dogs. Are you?

CC 299 by HCRoyall 10-03-05

This milestone requires a stable host. One who can put forth a memorable challenge for the Stripcreator history books. I ask you, does THIS look stable to you: *excerpt from Orange Soda I HAVE EVERY VERSIONS OF WINDOWS!! EVER!! A vote for HCRoyall is a vote against the crazies.

CC 299 by HCRoyall 10-03-05

So, HCRoyall, why do you feel you are the best candidate? Why should you get the vote? Because I could always step aside and let these perfectly harmless looking fellows get by. Ik ba Allah!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

CC 299 : Let the games begin. by finn34 10-03-05

Folks. Finn34 here to clear up some nasty rumors stated about me in ads by my opponent, HCRoyall. My stability as a Stripcreator donor and as a comic creator is unquestionable. During my four year stint here I have brought you all to the verge of laughter. This message paid for by Finns for Truth. And if you don't believe me, I'll post HCRoyall's chatlogs from irc.fathornygoths.net,

CC 299 : AMERICAN! by finn34 10-03-05

Is it fair to say my opponent is unpatriotic? Most certainly. A vote for HCRoyall is a vote for Communism. It's a fact. You know what else is a fact? How much I'm proud to be AN AMERICAN!

CC 299 : Word! by finn34 10-03-05

Folks, the choice is simple. Finn34 is here for you when you need him most. In times of crisis, he creates comic strips to make fun of them. And himself. I can make these campaign promises, because I plan to enforce them. He is a man of his word. Word is bond, my nizzle. Went a little too far with that one, boss.

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

CC 299 by HCRoyall 10-03-05

It seems my competitor, finn34, does not take kindly to my actions to reveal the truth. His random stripping may bring laughter, I'll give him that. But does it have the cohesion and continuity that is required to spark a proper comic contest? I think not. And it was irc.hotsexygoths.net, you lying bastard...

CC 299 by HCRoyall 10-03-05

finn34 tries to put himself out there as an upstanding citizen and a high quality candidate, but I'd like to show you this: *taken from security camera footage from the Browneyes Gay Bar I really like to sneak around mattress stores and tear all those little tags off. Scandalous. I ask you, is that the type of person you want hosting CC 300? I should hope not. Vote for me. Vote for honesty.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

CC299: Karl Rove Helped Me With This by UnknownEric 10-03-05

Hi, I'm Unknown Eric. You're probably asking, "Hey, UE, why do you think you should be the one to host CC300?" My opponents are all soft on protecting our comic competitions from those who hate TOBOR. Therefore, if I don't host CC300, the terrorists and hurricanes win.

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I has a flavor!

CC299: A simple plea

Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! Hey, fuck you! It's a medical condition, you insensitive prick!

by DexX, 10-03-05

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

CC299: DexX's Campaign #1 by DexX 10-03-05

I think it's pretty obvious why I should be the one to host comic contest three hundred. My veteran status in this community is- Not so fast, you! Wait a minute... that voice... no, it couldn't be... not again... Oh yes it is! You! Yes, me! I mean, you... uh... us. Damn it. Can I come in again?

CC299: DexX's Campaign #2 by DexX 10-03-05

Oh crap... Is this going to be another one of these infamous self-indulgent DexX series featuring himself and himself? 'Fraid so. You're overdue for some introspection. I'm trying to make a series with a point, here! This is meant to be my "election campaign", my attempt to gain the helm of contest three hundred! Exactly, and I am to be your political opponent. You're a self-loathing chronic depressive. Could anyone possibly do a better job of it than me? God, I hate you. See?

CC299: DexX's Campaign #3 by DexX 10-03-05

So, what now? Buggered if I know. My whole plan was to wander in and throw you off your game. Forward planning isn't really my strong suit. I can't believe my own subconscious is deliberately sabotaging my chances of hosting a milestone comic contest. Among other things. I'm quite busy sabotaging your life all over the place. *sigh* This is what I get for cancelling my last psych appointment. You missed your pill last night, too.

CC299: DexX's Campaign #4 by DexX 10-03-05

Oh well, I suppose I'll just have to soldier on. I am obviously the best choice for host of CC300 because- Crap. *ahem* Because I am more qualified than- Crappity crap crap! Now you're just being childish. I know you are, but what am I?

CC299: DexX's Campaign #5 by DexX 10-03-05

I didn't even mean it, but I think I just beat you. What? How? hughesy_mate writes: Effing brilliant! Nothing but the best from you. I showed hughesy_mate the first two strips in this series. Read it and weep. Uh-oh. I have been wanting to do this for SO long... AHHHH!!! I AM DIEING!!!

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Damned six part series...

CC299: DexX's Campaign #6 by DexX 10-03-05

Okay, my nagging self-doubt is out of the way for the time being, but we know he's like Freddy Krueger - he'll always be back in yet another sequel. As for my campaign to be host of CC300, well... What can I say? I am unreliable, largely incoherent, often self-indulgent, and crazier than most. In other words, I am pretty much StripCreator.com in human form. Perfect, no?

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

I am tempted to make some more one-off puns with my three remaining strips...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

CC 299: I did not go camping with that dog! by attitudechicka 10-03-05

Hi my name is Attitude Chicka. I really don't care who hosts CC 300. I just wanted to clarify that I am in no way associated with dogonball or biped in this campaign. Paid for by Strippers to Unassociate Chicka with biped and dogonball (herself).