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Stripcreator » Comic Competitions » CC 299: Ooo, pick me! Pick me!!

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flickguy
Senior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

Well, folks... here it is... the CC before CC 300. The only thing that even comes close to hosting such a landmark contest is being the one who gets to pick who hosts it. (At least, that's what I'm telling myself since I'm not eligible in my own contest.) And so, here's what I want you to do:

(This would be the part called Rules. Or Guidelines. Or Things To Ignore Because You're a Jerk.)

1. Tell me why you should be the host of Contest 300. Treat this like an election campaign. Talk yourself up. Talk your opponents down. Run a clean campaign. Sling mud. Heck, sling feces for all I care.

2. You're limited to 10 comics, so get to the point when you're slinging your fecal mud.

3. I'm a clean jokes kind of guy, so you get extra points for avoiding sexual innuendo and profanity.

4. I also like puns, so you get extra points for those, too. Especially clever ones.

5. More like addendum to 4. Except kaufman, whose extra points will all go to charity. (This will help to eliminate my admitted bias toward that cat-monger.)

6. The most important rule. This contest is about you and your foes. No sucking up to the judge, even if he does deserve it. Any contestant caught with lips attached to my hind-end will be disqualified. And possibly stalked once the scandal has died down. Followed by a marriage proposal.

Those are the main rules. Other things like no old comics, no photoshops, no calling me girly man when you see me playing any kind of sport... those go without saying. Even though I said them.

Have fun! Oh yeah, and make me laugh. Judging will be in approximately one week.

---
This is not my empire.

10-01-05 5:46pm (new)
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mandingo
weak stream

Member Rated:

CC 299 by mandingo
10-01-05
Hey, mandingo. How did your parole hearing go with the Stripcreator Council of Legends?
Not good, interrogative African. I told them if I was elected to run Comic Contest 300 that I would use perfect spelling, grammar, and capitalization, just like I'm doing in this comic.
What did they say?
They said I still need to atone for taking on the establishment when I got here. I either have to get naked and run around the block, make a statue using my own feces, or carry 100 stones around.
So, in a nutshell...
Strip, create, or rocks.

---
what if nigger meant kite

10-01-05 6:22pm (new)
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mandingo
weak stream

Member Rated:

CC 299: you know it, i know it, the american people know it by mandingo
10-01-05
if elected, mandingo promises not to eat any more elderly
SCREEEEEECH
and not to make it look like a heart attack
SCREEEEEECH
or a robbery gone bad
SCREEE      grandma?

---
what if nigger meant kite

10-01-05 7:05pm (new)
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areallystupidguy
Poison Gas Pokemon

Member Rated:

CC 299 by areallystupidguy
10-01-05
if i am elected host of CC 300, i can guarantee a brilliant subject for the milestone competition!
and the winner is... AREALLYSTUPIDGUY!
alright! you won't regret it!
the next day...
CC 300: make a comic about how undeserving and terrible a host of this milestone competition i truly am.
i hate life.

---
It's grime time.

10-01-05 8:07pm (new)
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fzh
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

CC 299:At least I'm willing to admit it.
So, fzh, why should you host CC300?
I shouldn't.
  by fzh, 10-01-05 

10-01-05 8:52pm (new)
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niteowl
Level 1 Forum Troll

Member Rated:

I love you, mandingo...in a sorta sexual tensiony kinda way.

---
Think classy, you'll be classy.

10-01-05 9:17pm (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

CC 299: Who Could Argue With This by biped
10-02-05
HEE HAW!!! ME DOG-ON-BALL!!! ME THINK BIPED SHOULD BE HOST OF NEXT COMICS CONTEST!!! VROOM-VROOM!!! ME RACE CAR!!!
NO, WAIT!!! ME SPACE MONSTER!!! BEEP-BEEP!!! GET OUT OF WAY, OR ME EAT YOUR ENTIRE STUPID PLANET, BUTTFACE!!! GRR!!!
BIPED AM THE GREATEST!!! YOU NO THINK SO? OH!!! YOU AM STUPID BUTTFACE!!! GOO-GOO!!! KISS MY BUTT, BUTTFACE!!! BOING-BWOING!!!
ME WRITE SONG ABOUT BIPED!!! "BEEP-BEEP, HIM KISS MY BUTT!!! HIM BIG, FAT BUTTFACE, JUST LIKE YOU!!! WOOF-WOOF!!!"
"HE WILL SMELL MY BUTT, JUST LIKE YOU!!! LA-LA-LA!!! AND KISS IT, TOO!!! OH, BIPED AM SUPER-GAY!!! MEOW!!! ME KITTY CAT!!!"
HEE-HAW!!! ME GET CHAINSAW AND KILL YOU WITH IT!!! AND THEN ME GO CAMPING WITH ATTITUDECHICKA!!! GRRR!!! ME AM HER DEITY!!! POOP!!!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

10-02-05 12:04am (new)
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mandingo
weak stream

Member Rated:

well let's work some of that tension out, sailor

CC 299: News Conference by mandingo
10-02-05
people say to me, mandingo... mandingo, they say, using direct address a bit redundantly, why do you run such a clean campaign when all of your opponents are such mudslingers?
Interrogative African, i say, or Mentally Impaired Polack, or whatever subspecies i happen to be talking to, i say that's because i'm a people person. and as a people person, my Headquarters is a bar.
then i take them back to Headquarters, buy them a few drinks, slip them a roofie and steal their wallet. but not their jewelry. you know why?
because you're a people person?

---
what if nigger meant kite

10-02-05 10:54am (new)
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finn34
King of Deadlines

Member Rated:

CC 299 : Pleas For A Piece by finn34
10-02-05
A vote for Finn34 is like a vote for kidnapping Jennifer Love Hewitt...
... and performing sexy experiments on her.

CC299 : Please? For Peace? by finn34
10-02-05
Unlike his opponents, Finn34 has never been involved in the sale of Napalm to Cuban refugees.
He's never purjured himself in a court of law regarding unsafe kitchen utensils.
Finn34 : Loves America, Kitties, Babies and the Elderly.

---
Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

10-02-05 12:25pm (new)
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NeoVid
Stripcreator Irregular

Member Rated:

CC 299: The superior man by NeoVid
10-02-05
NeoVid, why do you believe you should run Contest 300?
Because I'm delusional.
I see. Do you have any reasons normal people would want you to run CC 300?
SC doesn't have any of those. But... I've been a reg here since two months after the site was created. I think I should get to run another contest before I keel over from geezerism.
Right...
Also, it would just about double the number of comic contests I've won.

---
"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

10-02-05 1:32pm (new)
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lukket
Home Computer Futurist

Member Rated:

CC 299: Compelling reasons by lukket
10-02-05
... but according to a spokesman from Pepsi, the rumours are false, and Kanye West is still ...
Hold it right there. We've got important breaking news. Steve, you've got an exclusive live interview with lukket!?
That's right Katie. Now lukket, you want to run CC 300. Why?
It's not a question of what I want. Everybody here would be more than happy to see a CC without any of my comics, and if I win CC 299, everybody wins.
He's got a strong point there!
Yeah. This is going to be a very easy decision for flickguy.

---
troelsea at gmail dot com

10-02-05 1:50pm (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

CC 299: The Following Is A Paid Political Announcement by biped
10-02-05
Hi, fellow stripcreators! I'm biped! I think I should get to host CC #300 because --
Hello America, I'm Lyndon LaRouche. And I'm running for President of the United States again. So vote for me, or --
Hey, wait a minute, I paid for this airtime, so I don't think --
Folks, Ross Perot here. Can I talk? Are you gonna allow me to get a word in, biplane? Huh? Now, ya see, this is just sad --
Look, I -- HEY! GET THAT "VERY SPECIAL EPISODE" OF "DIFF'RENT STROKES" OFF OF HERE! I DIDN'T GET TO SAY ANYTHING!
...and that's why the "funny" man in the park touched you there, Arnold, and why you shouldn't be ashamed to tell Mr. Drummond.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

10-02-05 2:05pm (new)
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friendy
Professional lurker

Member Rated:

Of course that's not what an entry for this contest is supposed to be but anyway:

CC 299: The Inevitable Way To Make Friendy The Host of CC300 by friendy
10-02-05
For that we need help of our friend the magician.
One, two, three, now you are the most terrible sadist the world has ever known, flickguy.
And so the winner of CC 299 is ... Friendy.
Hey, Friendy, crawl out, I'm not gonna host CC 300 for you!

---
Disclaimer: Sorry if some of my comics are offensive to somebody. They are created in a light-hearted mood and aren’t intended to hurt anyone.

10-02-05 3:45pm (new)
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HCRoyall
100mg Thorazine, Please

Member Rated:

CC 299 by HCRoyall
10-03-05
Contrary to his campaign claims, mandingo has no intentions of stopping his binge on eating the elderly.
He even likes to baste them in Ben-Gay beforehand so they have that strong minty flavor.
Vote for HCRoyall and stop mandingo from eating old people so they can be used properly as the main ingredient in dog food.
I'm there for the hungry dogs. Are you?

CC 299 by HCRoyall
10-03-05
This milestone requires a stable host. One who can put forth a memorable challenge for the Stripcreator history books. I ask you, does THIS look stable to you:
*excerpt from Orange Soda
I HAVE EVERY VERSIONS OF WINDOWS!! EVER!!
A vote for HCRoyall is a vote against the crazies.

CC 299 by HCRoyall
10-03-05
So, HCRoyall, why do you feel you are the best candidate? Why should you get the vote?
Because I could always step aside and let these perfectly harmless looking fellows get by.
Ik ba Allah!

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

10-03-05 1:16am (new)
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finn34
King of Deadlines

Member Rated:

CC 299 : Let the games begin. by finn34
10-03-05
Folks. Finn34 here to clear up some nasty rumors stated about me in ads by my opponent, HCRoyall.
My stability as a Stripcreator donor and as a comic creator is unquestionable. During my four year stint here I have brought you all to the verge of laughter.
This message paid for by Finns for Truth.
And if you don't believe me, I'll post HCRoyall's chatlogs from irc.fathornygoths.net,

CC 299 : AMERICAN! by finn34
10-03-05
Is it fair to say my opponent is unpatriotic?
Most certainly. A vote for HCRoyall is a vote for Communism. It's a fact.
You know what else is a fact? How much I'm proud to be AN AMERICAN!

CC 299 : Word! by finn34
10-03-05
Folks, the choice is simple. Finn34 is here for you when you need him most.
In times of crisis, he creates comic strips to make fun of them. And himself.
I can make these campaign promises, because I plan to enforce them.
He is a man of his word.
Word is bond, my nizzle.
Went a little too far with that one, boss.

---
Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

10-03-05 2:35am (new)
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HCRoyall
100mg Thorazine, Please

Member Rated:

CC 299 by HCRoyall
10-03-05
It seems my competitor, finn34, does not take kindly to my actions to reveal the truth. His random stripping may bring laughter, I'll give him that.
But does it have the cohesion and continuity that is required to spark a proper comic contest? I think not.
And it was irc.hotsexygoths.net, you lying bastard...

CC 299 by HCRoyall
10-03-05
finn34 tries to put himself out there as an upstanding citizen and a high quality candidate, but I'd like to show you this:
*taken from security camera footage from the Browneyes Gay Bar
I really like to sneak around mattress stores and tear all those little tags off.
Scandalous.
I ask you, is that the type of person you want hosting CC 300? I should hope not. Vote for me. Vote for honesty.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

10-03-05 3:36am (new)
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UnknownEric
and the Goblet of Mountain Dew.

Member Rated:

CC299: Karl Rove Helped Me With This by UnknownEric
10-03-05
Hi, I'm Unknown Eric. You're probably asking, "Hey, UE, why do you think you should be the one to host CC300?"
My opponents are all soft on protecting our comic competitions from those who hate TOBOR.
Therefore, if I don't host CC300, the terrorists and hurricanes win.

---
I has a flavor!

10-03-05 7:55am (new)
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DexX
What the Cat Dragged In

Member Rated:

CC299: A simple plea
Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!
Hey, fuck you! It's a medical condition, you insensitive prick!
  by DexX, 10-03-05 

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

10-03-05 9:12am (new)
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DexX
What the Cat Dragged In

Member Rated:

CC299: DexX's Campaign #1 by DexX
10-03-05
I think it's pretty obvious why I should be the one to host comic contest three hundred. My veteran status in this community is-
Not so fast, you!
Wait a minute... that voice... no, it couldn't be... not again...
Oh yes it is!
You!
Yes, me! I mean, you... uh... us. Damn it. Can I come in again?

CC299: DexX's Campaign #2 by DexX
10-03-05
Oh crap... Is this going to be another one of these infamous self-indulgent DexX series featuring himself and himself?
'Fraid so. You're overdue for some introspection.
I'm trying to make a series with a point, here! This is meant to be my "election campaign", my attempt to gain the helm of contest three hundred!
Exactly, and I am to be your political opponent. You're a self-loathing chronic depressive. Could anyone possibly do a better job of it than me?
God, I hate you.
See?

CC299: DexX's Campaign #3 by DexX
10-03-05
So, what now?
Buggered if I know. My whole plan was to wander in and throw you off your game. Forward planning isn't really my strong suit.
I can't believe my own subconscious is deliberately sabotaging my chances of hosting a milestone comic contest.
Among other things. I'm quite busy sabotaging your life all over the place.
*sigh* This is what I get for cancelling my last psych appointment.
You missed your pill last night, too.

CC299: DexX's Campaign #4 by DexX
10-03-05
Oh well, I suppose I'll just have to soldier on. I am obviously the best choice for host of CC300 because-
Crap.
*ahem* Because I am more qualified than-
Crappity crap crap!
Now you're just being childish.
I know you are, but what am I?

CC299: DexX's Campaign #5 by DexX
10-03-05
I didn't even mean it, but I think I just beat you.
What? How?
hughesy_mate writes: Effing brilliant! Nothing but the best from you.
I showed hughesy_mate the first two strips in this series. Read it and weep.
Uh-oh.
I have been wanting to do this for SO long...
AHHHH!!! I AM DIEING!!!

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

10-03-05 10:09am (new)
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DexX
What the Cat Dragged In

Member Rated:

Damned six part series...

CC299: DexX's Campaign #6 by DexX
10-03-05
Okay, my nagging self-doubt is out of the way for the time being, but we know he's like Freddy Krueger - he'll always be back in yet another sequel.
As for my campaign to be host of CC300, well... What can I say? I am unreliable, largely incoherent, often self-indulgent, and crazier than most.
In other words, I am pretty much StripCreator.com in human form. Perfect, no?

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

10-03-05 10:10am (new)
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DexX
What the Cat Dragged In

Member Rated:

I am tempted to make some more one-off puns with my three remaining strips...

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

10-03-05 10:15am (new)
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attitudechicka
is never bored.

Member Rated:

CC 299: I did not go camping with that dog! by attitudechicka
10-03-05
Hi my name is Attitude Chicka. I really don't care who hosts CC 300.
I just wanted to clarify that I am in no way associated with dogonball or biped in this campaign.
Paid for by Strippers to Unassociate Chicka with biped and dogonball (herself).

I know buttkissing is frowned upon, but I think flickguy is neat-o and I'm glad he won a contest.

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

10-03-05 10:40am (new)
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jes_lawson
I don't know what I'm doing either

Member Rated:

CC 299 (1) by jes_lawson
10-03-05
Greetings! In these strips I'm going to make the case as to why I, jes_lawson, should be the host of CC 300.
In the course of them I will stop at nothing to prove that I'm the only Stripper who can be trusted with the task! Nothing!
Okay, bad choice of words, bad place to walk past, but you get my drift.

CC 299 (2) by jes_lawson
10-03-05
Why me, you ask? Well for a start, I've been called the nicest man on Stripcreator.
If nice guys finish last...
...meet the guy who didn't even leave the start line.

CC 299 (3) by jes_lawson
10-03-05
Besides, look at some of the other jerks who are contenders for this! This guy's not even wearing any pants!
And neither's this guy! How can they run a Comic Contest if they can't even dress properly?
Does no-one around here wear long trousers?
I'm wearing long underwear, does that count?

CC 299 (4) by jes_lawson
10-03-05
Anyway, let's get this campaign into full swing. I wrote a song and everything!
To the tune of "Take me out to the Ball Game"
|o Please let Jes win the contest. Pick my entry to win! o|
|o He'll buy you peanuts and crackerjack, drink too much absinth and fall on his back! o|
|o Let me root for the flickguy like a champion would do! If I don't win, it's a shame! o|
|o To avoid being cornholed please pick Jes to win the CC 299 game! o|

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

10-03-05 11:05am (new)
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finn34
King of Deadlines

Member Rated:

6 and 7 of the top ten reasons to pick me.

CC 299 : Rebuttal by finn34
10-03-05
Yes, folks, it is true that I frequently visit an establishment called "Browneyes Gay Bar"...
And yes, it's also true that tearing mattress tags was once a hobby of mine....
But that is between me, my husband and God.

CC 299 : Pre-emptive by finn34
10-03-05
Some of my opponents would say, "Why are you doing your campaign advertising from a bar?"
Yeah, why are you campaigning from a bar?
Shut up, fag.
Yeah. Why do you HATE freedom?

---
Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

10-03-05 11:36am (new)
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mmyers
Passing through.

Member Rated:

CC299- The Quest for truth (1) by mmyers
10-03-05
Hi, I'm mmyers, I'm coming to you in my natural state: a wheelchair and with bad acne. This contest *cough**cough* means more to me than life itself.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just get a little choked up thinking about it. Ever since my mom died...
Woe-woe, this is ridiculous. I don't have acne and my Mom isn't dead. You're taking this over the top. I'm not paying you to lie, I'm paying you to garner me sympathy. And we don't even look alike.
Look, if you want flickguy to vote for you, he's got to pity you, so if he thinks your legs are paralyzed---
But you're not even paralyzed. Your toes are wiggling...in fact, you're tickling my leg with them right now...ya know, I think this partnership is over.

CC299-The Quest for Truth (2) by mmyers
10-03-05
Hi, I'm mmyers, and isn't it about time a WOMAN won CC#300? Isn't it time that we put all this 'cock fight' to a rest and got some vag in here?
While I appreciate your zeal, and also your use of the word 'vag', I think it might be a little too much, ya know? Also, I'm not a woman and I think he may be aware of that.
I'm not a woman either.
Oh, well that explains why I fell in when I sat down to pee in the dark last night.

CC299- The Quest for Truth (3) by mmyers
10-03-05
Hi, I'm mmyers---
Wait, Okay, I see where this is going and I gotta say no. Maybe I should be frank. Look, flick, I'm just a simple man trying to do the best he can with his two hands.
I don't have much in this world, but what I do have, I try to share, and all I have is an idea for CC300, and if I can share this idea with everyone, then my life won't be in vain.
mmyers is a friend to the little man.
Talk while I'm talking again and see if I don't slap you so hard you'll have top spin. That's right, Tiny Pete. Mmyers, friend to the genetically retarded, friend to all men.

---
Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

10-03-05 12:11pm (new)
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