I made my Official donation today so now I'd like to stark milking the perks. What are the perks, anyway?

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

A chance to enter the "Win A Date With Kaufman" contest.

First Runner-up wins a date with Wirthling.

Losers win a date with Spankling.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

There are no perks. You've been taken for a ride.

You can go right ahead and milk the perks if you like.

*shhh... no one tell him/her/it that our perks are male*

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

A good deed is its own reward.

Stop snickering, I'm serious.

HA HA HA, almost had you there, didn't I?

I donated and now I can't even log in.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

No sauna? No casino? No gym?

I was really hoping that I'd be able to move a lamp or a statue and the bookcase would slide over and this whole new room would open up for me. There'd be a bunch of strip creators there wearing red bathrobes with 'SC' embroidered on them and everyone would be drinking cappuccino. And high backed chairs with people sitting around discussing the 'suckysucky' girls. And computer screens flashing new comics up periodically. And everything done in dark wood and red velvet. And artemisstrong would be there, and ladyjdotnet, and dcomposed, and devon, and andydougan, and not_sycess, and spankling, and simeon2K4, and Brad. But it was just a dream.

Ah well, back to huffing, I suppose.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

This:

is one of the perks.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

You get to join the crazy "donors only" forum, where you win every contest.

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Dad was flammable

You really ARE new. If anything, I'd maybe be the doorman. Or Kajun's towel-boy.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

Hey! That's my job!

Towelling me really is a two-man job.

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Dad was flammable

I don't want to think about that.

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Jesus saves, but everyone else in a 10 foot radius takes full damage from the fireball.

Yes you do. Admit it.

Your private club.

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Please remember to spay and neuter your elected representatives.

Now we're talkin'!

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

Holy shit, I want one!

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Batman created by Bob Kane

I have one.

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YEE-HAW!!!!!

But, um, there's no hole, for the, um, you know...

I made one.

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YEE-HAW!!!!!

Theres like something covering the hole. Maybe you can lift it up when you need to go.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

You guys are so uncultured.

That, as anyone of distinction would know, is a "poop-strainer".

Sometimes it's also called a "Crap Collander".

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

Why do they have TWO rolls of toilet paper?

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Jesus saves, but everyone else in a 10 foot radius takes full damage from the fireball.

Why DON'T they?

Why not two rolls? Haven't you ever sat down and started going, just to notice that you're out of toilet paper? I HATE that!