After you said goodbye, did he turn around, walk into a tree and then explode?

---
Dad was flammable

At least he wasn't a TIE pilot.  I once recognized one during Halloween.  Embarassing for me to be the only person to recognize him all night.

But TIE pilots are basically storm troopers dressed in black and stapled into a flying coffin.  A flying coffin that explodes when a speck of dust hits it.

A flying coffin with lines on the wings pointing directly at the cockpit.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

-----> HERE

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I meant to announce this three days ago.

On Saturday I picked up a copy of the comic page of the newspaper at a coffee shop while I was having a drink.  And a lot of the comics were funny.  In the newspaper!  Holy crap.  That's the first time that's happened to me in about 4 years.

---
"Old" is the old new.

Kid related announcements:

1.)  My daughter Anna said her first sentence last weekend:  "Daddy, I wa' ice keem!"

II.)  My son Read told me in no uncertain terms, when I asked if he needed to go potty, "There is NOTHING coming out of my PENIS or my BUTT!"

Three.)  Read, who is 3, is obsessed with Bowie's "Ziggy Stardust" CD, especially Starman, which he sings, "There's a starmaaaaaaan wipey in the sky!"

---
I has a flavor!

Here's the latest bulletin from my MySpace friend, Neil.  Sorry it's just a short one this time.

Subject: Friend that want to be my friend

Body: I am on my space and yahoo. My e-mail is [Neil's email address] Why this Bulletins is i had notice that there is friend who want to be my friend. So i hope this help you who want to be my friend. Neil

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

THE DRUNKEN SEVERED HEAD SHOW

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I ate a potatoe.

I have been a non-smoker for 14 hours. It's nowhere near as easy as being a smoker was. Anyone "btdt" have any tips?

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

My MySpace friend Neil has weighed in on Michael Jackson at last.

Subject: Michael Jackson

Body: It seem Michael will not get rest cause everybody it keeping from he rest by flighting over he thing and etc. Michael want to rest but everybody is bring he name up so he can not rest . He want peace from everybody and love to care for people , now he is to rest no one want to let go of him.. Meaning there is a time one have to let go so the soul can rest. Michael work hard to bring happiness to the people and other , but no one care to stop flighting. We all hear thing about him now more them whem he was alive. Alot of greed so it seem. Well want to say let the rest in peace. Neil

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

attitudechicka

My suggestions - cravings come and go, so find something to distract yourself with when the cravings hit. It will get easier.

Example: women on average need about 2.7 liters of water a day. Make sure you're getting 3. Keep a bottle of water handy. Everytime you get a craving, drink some.

Eat six small meals a day, some of which are as easy as a piece of fruit and a yogurt. Yes, that means eating right! :D

Get all the sleep that you can.

In other words, keep your body satiated in all of these other areas so that this one area is the only thing your body is asking you for.

The thing about nicotine is that it's neither a upper or a downer. It's both. It's a "medium". If you're dragging, it lifts you up. If you're hyper, it calms you down. Now you're responsible for your own stabilization, and satiating all of these other areas should help.

And good luck!

---
You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

A friend of mine quit smoking by sewing his lips together.  After a few days he caught himself cheating by smoking with his nose, so he glued his nostrils together.

He lived the rest of his life without a single cigarette!

Another friend of mine started to wear underwear made out of nicotine patches.  That worked, too, but his balls got emphyzema.  I don't think you'll have that problem, though.

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

biped

I bet Neil must make the best tweets

and welcome back crabby

seanator

RCCOLAMAN

 It's good to be back, thanks to everyone for all their kind words both here and also through PM's and email. Your support really means alot to me and I'm glad you all helped me to come make the right decision to return to SC full time.

I liek choclate milk!

---
I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

I get away with stuff that would get others banned for life.

---
You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

RCCOLAMAN

Here's his follow-up on Michael Jackson--

Subject:  This is a reply to Michael Jackson
 
Body:  Yes the kids will be hurt , and you wonder why bring on this war over Michael thing. And the kids are not look at as heart feeling for there father. It sad to say but on top of what my friend have said and i knew today joe jackson and Michael mother are asking for the kids . Why i bring this up is Michael did not want joe jackson ariound he kids. . Now thing start changing the point of view of Michael them poor kids. There heart are on there father gone and other are trying to take advance of it all. Yes my friend that said thing about Michael and Elvis is very right. Both love there fan. Now people are going to make thing up to make one or the other to be bad or not as good as we know. But the kids are still going to be hurt but them do not feel for the kids i think it money not caring for them as young adult. They need help in what they are going though but what do they care. It seem to be playing ouit to this . Now sad. Neil

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

boloboffin

are you a part of the secret police there too?

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

crabby

RCCOLAMAN

 It's good to be back, thanks to everyone for all their kind words both here and also through PM's and email. Your support really means alot to me and I'm glad you all helped me to come make the right decision to return to SC full time.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

dcomposed

are you a part of the secret police there too?

No, I'm just a citizen armed with the facts there.

---
You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

I have purchased Sims 3... but have only been able to dedicate about 3 hours to it. There are things that I liked better in 1 & 2, but man can you make some attractive people in this one. That's not creepy, right?

Also, I get married in 3 months. :/

Also also, butts lol.

---
Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

Get yr. own fair trade cornholin' robot:

http://www.squishable.com/squishables/product/red_robot_by_z.html?gclid=CMGrt_Sk35sCFQJ2xgod2V7MbA

---
I has a flavor!

UnknownEric

that is 10/10 on the awesome scale.  i am buyin one even though it's $45 for postage.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

The post immediately following this one will be the most important announcement of the 21st century!!

---
I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.