Did you take the pledge?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

What if you just withold sex from everybody?

If you yourself sign up, but then don't vote, does that mean you can't masturbate?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I masturbated. Does that count?

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Get Your War On

If I ejaculate now would that be considered an early vote?

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Get Your War On

As a voter I would call this treason. Maybe it doesn't fit the letter of the law, but it strikes at the heart of democracy.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

God, like two or three hundred votes even matter.

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Vote Jeb Bush 2008

Basically you're saying "fuck democracy" then?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

If it were my vote, you can bet it would matter.
I'm about primed to start a revolution as it is.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

I hope you don't plan on voting in November MaKK, because your vote doesn't matter.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

Not something you'll catch me saying every day, but in literal terms, a few hundred votes really doesn't matter. Only if you're talking about a scenario like in Florida in 2000 would an extra 600 voters have swayed the result. Let's say for the sake of example that NC had been struck by this very scandal in 2000 and that it prevented not merely 100, not merely 1000, but 10000 prospective democrats from voting. That's 10000 more people who would have voted Gore in this state. Would that have helped Gore win the NC electoral votes? Nope. Would 20000? Nu-uh. 30,000? In your dreams. Now if it had been 40000 whole voters denied registration... that would have affected the electoral vote in my home state. Amazingly that would have handed Gore the white house in 2000. But that's just because we have 16 electoral votes. What if this had happened in say... Wyoming? Ignore for a moment the fact that it would have to have disenfranchised over 80000 potential Wyoming Democrats, those 80000 wyoming democrats still wouldn't have guaranteed a Gore presidency. It would have been up to the house of representatives to decide who should be president because while Bush would still have had more than Gore, it wouldn't have been 270. But then again, if it only victimized 30,000 in NC and 70,000 in Wyoming well, who said those 100,000 votes ever mattered in the first place? All they would have represented is more insult on top of injury for the man who already won the popular vote in the first place.

While I do think this act is pretty treasonous, the US Constitution does not define it as such, and therefore they can't rightly be tried for it. Certainly there are laws on the books about obstructing the polls though, and I would say that arresting and trying those behind the plan on those grounds would be the only real option.

Maak's words don't have to be interpreted strictly as "fuck democracy," though being that he's a troll, it's pretty tempting to. Problem is that the way the system is set up already fucks democracy.

Shit like that worries me. What happened in Florida in 2000 was bad enough. I'm worried about something shifty happening again this election.

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Get Your War On

It not just random votes here. we're talking about targeting certain voters. You can't run a democracy like that.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

The people responsible for this should have their voting privileges revoked and serve jail time or pay fines.

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Get Your War On

So in effect, when you say that they are not targeting "random votes," but voters in highly selected areas, isn't that an admission that some people's votes just really don't count as much as others? Is that any way to run a democracy?

Why is this even an issue about whether they matter or not? That's not the point. The point is that they are being denyed their right to vote! The point is that if one group gets away with it, hundreds of others could too. Even if our votes don't count for shit in a presidential election, it's still a matter of being allowed to vote in the first place! It's like telling people you can only pray if you're christian, or you can only use the internet if you're using Internet Explorer. Granted, Gates was trying to do that, but he didn't exactly succeed. I can still download Firefox and Opera if I want to. Just because you're in the minority doesn't mean you shouldn't be allowed a voice. One voice echoes a hundred times in the halls of politics. A hundred voices sing in unison to shake the pillars of establishment. A thousand voices carry the tune of change, and begin the choir of rebirth. A million voices rattles the very heart of tradition. 50 million voices can bring the walls protecting convention down to dust.

These are leaps and bounds, but all it takes is one voice to elicit a response from others. These voices should be allowed to be heard. If they're not, then our freedoms are bound, and we sing alone. Each to the same tune, but none in harmony. There's always a soloist, but that soloist ushers in the choir. It just takes the right music.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

I agree with DragonXero. It's like masturbating than being robbed of the ejaculation. So in the end the orgasm doesn't even count. Bummer :(

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Get Your War On

Because the contention was "God, like two or three hundred votes even matter," and the response was "so you're saying 'fuck democracy?'", and the context was presidential elections.

Where exactly I said it's okay for people to have their votes taken away is a mystery to me. All I'm saying is that if you're going to accuse Maak of wanting to fuck democracy, like he's slaughtering some sort of sacred cow, it would be jumping the gun to do so when the electoral system chosen for the US already fucks democracy by making the fact that even as many as an extra 100,000 votes in 2000, based solely on where these votes came from, wouldn't have made a world of difference to help the man who already had the popular mandate into office. Maak is a shit-stirrer, but the literal truth of his words can't be denied. Depending on where you live, you really don't have much of a voice in national politics, officially enfranchised or not, unless you're with the overwhelming majority. The real shame is that these people who were disenfranchised by this hideous pro-Bush tactic were also kept out of their local political elections where the votes aren't likely to be as meaningless as they are in the presidential election. That is where their voices were robbed. That is the arena where your 50 million voice speech has its most truth, DX. Not the arena in which a 50 million vote lead in the popular election doesn't guarantee a victory if those voters don't live in the right places.

As another point, how enfranchised would you feel if you and your fellow citizens voted to give your state's electoral votes to a candidate and your elector chose not to vote? Or your elector broke confidence and cast a ballot for the candidate you did not vote for? The former happened in 2000. It wouldn't have changed things for Gore, but it happened none the less.

Democracy is already fucked.

Fuck. Democracy.

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Vote Jeb Bush 2008

Listen, the point is much greater than all of this. The point is that yes, a certain group of people seems to be targeted here (the Democratic voters, although I am not ENTIRELY sure why, because the DNC is just as fucking dastardly with their attempts to screw Nader off the ballot. They think he'll take away votes from Kerry, and maybe he will. But he has every fucking right to participate as a candidate that the other candidates do, period.) and yes, it seems to be a few hundred in this area. The problem is that there are little scandals like this cropping up ALL OVER the place in this country, and that seems to indicate a much bigger problem. A few hundred here and there don't matter? Bullshit. A few hundred votes could have put Gore in the White House. A few hundred votes may not matter to certain people, but when added up with the other "few hundred votes" here and there, that seems to be an awful fucking lot.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Like truth and justice ever mattered.

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Vote Jeb Bush 2008

So where are the strong? And who are the trusted? And where is the harmony?

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What others say about boorite!

What does Jason Schwartzman trying to discover the meaning behind an african guy have to do with Iraq?

By the way, that was a great movie.

What's so funny about...wait, what were we talking about?

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I love you, Kronic, but I think it's time we went over "then" v.s. "than."

"Than" constitutes something that is different than one thing. For instance "I would rather masturbate than get eaten by a tiger."

"Then" is used to set a period of time such as "back then," although it can also be used in a sentence like "She was strangled and then beaten with a kielbasa."

Please excuse my half-assed lectures and let God continue to smite this great kakistocracy.