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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

Hey, I wrote a letter to Dubya a while back saying I was gonna post some pics of him defiling a goat on the internet unless he gave me some money.

And he did! $600! He had to do it all secret like, and put it in the guise of an IRS refund check, but damned if he didn't come through.

I'm gonna try and ask for a little more this time. Anybody want anything?

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

7-18-01 12:50pm (new)
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ObiJo
Eamus Catuli

Member Rated:

Screaming anarchy? Cool.

When obstetricians dream...

Guam.

Well, in case anyone else is interested in breaking the addiction themselves, I'll tell you how it went. The first week or so after I left, I kept working words like fellate, sodomize, and moh into my vocabulary. By the second week, it was small phrases like "set up us," and "corhole you." Luckily, with a little therapy, and my devout belief in God and his good greatness, by the third week these symptoms had withdrawn, and only Flatulence in D remained. Week four, I regressed a little, thinking I was a vanilla bean for the better part of the week. But, now, in week five, I am completely healed and my lowpass addiction is conquered, my sanity restored! Ruff.

Shit.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

7-18-01 3:50pm (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

We should probably get together a self help group. At our 'Lowpass Anonymous' meetings we could get together and drink coffee and work through 12 step programs to keep ourselves free and clear of comic creation.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

7-18-01 4:22pm (new)
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evil_d
Riding through your town with his head on fire

Member Rated:


You haven't even been gone for five weeks. It just seems like that long because of the unbearable craving to make comics.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

7-18-01 5:34pm (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

What a great idea. I think I'll go make a comic right now. Maybe I'll make two.

Just think how great that'll be... Making a comic.

Clicking on all those little pull-down menus. Seeing all my old friends... The red robot, feetforears. That scamp of a donkey.

Yes, it sure is nice to be able to make a comic whenever I want, and not have any weird, self-imposed rules stopping me from doing something so fun and satisfying.

Let's all make comics.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

7-18-01 6:54pm (new)
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ObiJo
Eamus Catuli

Member Rated:

Aaaahhh! Do not torture me.

Weird self-imposed rules? I just wasn't funny anymore. I kept repeating old jokes I'd done before.

Plus, I wanted to get into electronics as a hobby. (I am the someone setting up us the bomb.) But this site was too addictive for someone like me who finds you all damn funny, so I kept putting it off.

I still keep my eye on the forum though and will keep checking in since I have little doubt that in five years, even if everyone else is gone, gabe will still be here insulting wirthling, though no one knows what he's talking about or who this wirthling cat is.

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

7-18-01 7:59pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

quote:
Aaaahhh! Do not torture me.

Weird self-imposed rules? I just wasn't funny anymore. I kept repeating old jokes I'd done before.


Oh, please. You've got more funny in your little finger than about half a dozen of some of these other people put together. (For all you other people, of course I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about other people besides you. You are very funny.)

quote:

Plus, I wanted to get into electronics as a hobby. (I am the someone setting up us the bomb.) But this site was too addictive for someone like me who finds you all damn funny, so I kept putting it off.

Thank you, Mr. Non-Sequitur Donkey. Or were you implying you can't do both? You seem smart enough to get into electronics and still hang out here. Just don't try to chew gum at the same time as the other two or you're fucked.

quote:

I still keep my eye on the forum though and will keep checking in since I have little doubt that in five years, even if everyone else is gone, gabe will still be here insulting wirthling, though no one knows what he's talking about or who this wirthling cat is.

See how much you've missed? I've kind of slacked off in my insulting of wirthling, but just about every new twit that shows up sees people insulting me, and decided they need to be cool and jump on the bandwagon. Hence everyone and their mother mock me constantly. But since I realize it's all a form of worship, I can only bask in their adoring glow.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

7-18-01 8:49pm (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

Thou spongy rough-hewn dewberry!

This Shakespearean Insults site is gonna pay off. Now I don't even need to think up the insults to scatter around the jokes I rip off!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

7-19-01 8:45am (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

Mr.T = ObiJo
I think thats a theory that needs to be looked into.

7-20-01 5:39am (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

An old college buddy brought this to my attention:

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct their own study of the same subject. After three years of research and a cost in excess of $250,000, they
concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more sexual pleasure.

When the results of the French study were released, Australians decided to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Ausie's study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

7-20-01 7:50am (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

Christ. I can't believe they wasted all that money. I could have told them that.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

7-20-01 12:19pm (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

Gabe as a boy

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

7-21-01 1:42pm (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

I never wore pants when I was a kid.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

7-21-01 2:21pm (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:


And your mom eventually got brown furniture?

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

7-21-01 3:45pm (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

Yes.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

7-21-01 8:07pm (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

I'm running the triathlon tomorrow. If I fall victim to heatstroke and die or I'm eaten by a landshark, I just wanted you all to know that it was a pleasure being mocked by all of you.

Hope to talk to you tomorrow night.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

7-21-01 8:08pm (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

Ha. I'm not dead, so there.

PS - Triathlons are painful.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

7-22-01 1:47pm (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

Haw... when I closed the animation window, an ad for "eDiets" popped up.

---
What others say about boorite!

7-23-01 8:09am (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

quote:
Ha. I'm not dead, so there.

PS - Triathlons are painful.


Do you have an Xtreme Iron Man wristwatch?

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What others say about boorite!

7-23-01 8:10am (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

Q: Are they using homoerotic imagery to sell the Ironman watch?

A: What watch?

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What others say about boorite!

7-23-01 8:31am (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

oooooooowwwww firm manboobs.....

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

7-23-01 8:38am (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

There was a guy right next to me when I was setting my bike up that was wearing one of those. I thought it was to cut down on shrapnel if his chest exploded.

But now I realize it was just a pulse monitor. So he can get a digital readout of his heart exploding.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

7-23-01 12:23pm (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

A rubber chest?

BTW, has Ricardo Montalban's chest in Wrath of Khan been a longstanding source of consternation for anyone besides myself and my wife?

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What others say about boorite!

7-23-01 1:03pm (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:


Do tell boo.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

7-23-01 1:04pm (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:


Do tell boo.


I mean LOOK at it! It looks FAKE! But he claims it's REAL!! NO WAY! AUUUGH!

---
What others say about boorite!

7-23-01 1:10pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info

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