R.I.P. Inspector Gadget by mandingo 9-27-05

Mr. Brain, is it? how do you plan on paying for the funeral service and plots today? don't you mean plot? no, plots, plural. i'm afraid all the inspector's springs let loose upon death and we can't get them back in. we have to use 4 plots to bury him 4 plots! i can't afford that! well, i do run a rather lucrative child slavery ring on the side... a Penny for your plots?

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what if nigger meant kite

Just saw this one:

Story of a Girl: Tasteless Joke Night! by DH-01 4-30-05

Hello, Tobor... I heard that your new dog died yesterday. How terrible... It's okay. Tobor has already gotten past the mourning stage. There is a problem, though. Eh? What's that? Tobor tried to get a new dog, but the animal shelter people kicked me off their property. Now that's not right! Why would they do that? All Tobor did was take their so-called weiner dog back! Total scam. Next time, Tobor just buy a penis pump.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Nobody knows the trouble you've seen, nobody knows but Jesus by mandingo 10-03-05

that one time the bully demanded your lunch money and you pissed yourself! and that other time you declared your undying love to Stacy Brown only to have her say, 'Hey, aren't you that kid that pissed himself?' now onto the 6th grade!

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what if nigger meant kite

Didn't know where else to stick this:

Orchestration of Assimilation by Rabid_Weasle 10-03-05

Please, tell me what symptoms you are experiencing. Well... inflamation, constipation, irritation, lack of concentration, painful gyration, infestation, dislocation, vibration, pupil dilation, slight mutation and inability for procreation. I've tried everything from medication, relaxation on vacation, meditation, starvation, imitation, lubrication, oxygenation respiration, regulation of dehydration, isolation, and even vaccincation. Doctor have you any inspiration to an explanation to my demoralization? Have a realization to my frustration as I have expectation from someone of your occupation. No hesitation, I need information! Narration! My only recommendation is this invitation to an opertation of most innovation! Your acceleration to your hospitalization has no accomodation of hestiation! My only hesitation to such a destination is a combination of expectation to termination or vegitation!

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Poop.

quote:

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Didn't know where else to stick this:

Orchestration of Assimilation by Rabid_Weasle 10-03-05

Please, tell me what symptoms you are experiencing. Well... inflamation, constipation, irritation, lack of concentration, painful gyration, infestation, dislocation, vibration, pupil dilation, slight mutation and inability for procreation. I've tried everything from medication, relaxation on vacation, meditation, starvation, imitation, lubrication, oxygenation respiration, regulation of dehydration, isolation, and even vaccincation. Doctor have you any inspiration to an explanation to my demoralization? Have a realization to my frustration as I have expectation from someone of your occupation. No hesitation, I need information! Narration! My only recommendation is this invitation to an opertation of most innovation! Your acceleration to your hospitalization has no accomodation of hestiation! My only hesitation to such a destination is a combination of expectation to termination or vegitation!

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That strip reminded me of this songby The 'Gurge...

I Like Repetitive Music
by Regurgitator
from the album ...art?

I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
Turn it up 'cause I know how to use it.

I like to let the loopy stuff do the rabble-rousing,
Pop the damn multi on the s3000.
That's the shit makes the room prone to overcrowding.
Now and then put the sound in. Ooh it's pounding!

'Scuse me homies could you please be my cronies
And score me a two pack of soft yellow foamies,
'Cause I'm the type of guy that puts safety first.
No safer motherfucker ever walked the earth

Strapped in all-wheel hugging dual bag inflation
Safer than programmed amplitude modulation
Feeling a strange sensation? That's your brain son,
Suffering from over-stimulation, inflammation.
By my reckoning you now have five seconds before lapsing into a coma.
Tick this box to indicate you're a donor.
Would it be too bold to say I told ya
To hold the last bar over and over and over?

I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.

I'm so fine I scored 9.99 from Holyfield in a Trump production even though I'm 200 of a kind.
So inclined to liposuction it's sublime, like Britney's larynx at the age of nine.
Watch me try to justify my verbal diarrhoeaic diatribe
in a vain attempt to coincide
With a beat to which brains get tenderised, lightly battered, and deep fried on high.

Once again son come get some beats on the one loops on repeats done,
Waveforms deformed, fantast, lyric gymnast, bombast, ecclesiast.
Slap that ass hardcore, make that shit red raw,
Blow the disco, slam your head sore,
Watch the sure cure beat the prevention.
If you want more seek professional medical attention.

I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.
I like repetitive music.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Queer Eye for the TOBOR Guy by HCRoyall 10-04-05

Ugh! Look at this decor! What are you trying to say with this? Cornholing and general Ass-Rape. Be gentle...

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

That's All, Folks!

His father's sins came back to haunt Elmer Junior...

by HCRoyall, 10-05-05

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Zombie Days by WillZone 9-06-05

Zombie Outbreak Day 1... Oh my god. Ted? Ted "Tank" Davis? It's me, Chuck Sommers. Class of 97? Mrs. Taylors Bio class? Remember? Braaaaiinns... Ha-ha! Yea, I was the one with the brains! I'm a lawyer now, so, you know, guess all that studying paid off. Braaaaiiinnnsss... Taaannnkkkk...

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what if nigger meant kite

talkin with girls! by passive 5-15-01

...hey, why don't you tell me a little about yourself. how old were you when you started masturbating? HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME THAT! YOU JUST WANT TO THINK ABOUT ME BANGING MYSELF AS A LITTLE KID! ...so, this first date isn't going well is it?

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Law of the high seas by slyfox785 10-06-05

No! Johnny don't go! You drownd up there! But I must go and follow my dream of becoming the greatest maritime laywer this world has ever known. and it became so, years later. And all sea creatures are created equal! click! click! click ! click! Im not sure whats at the end of this hall, but one thing i am sure about is that you can all here me cause this mic works, very well. Anyways by now you will have realized this comic is pointless.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Orange Soda : Serious

Where's the toilet paper? I feel a serious jerk coming on!

by finn34, 10-06-05

and a classic

Orange Soda : Illusion by finn34 9-05-05

Your mom's a slut. I know. Shut up. She even let ME hit it. Stop reminding me. In fact, I'm over at your house, doing your mom right now. This is a pre-recorded hologram. I was wondering why you hadn't ordered yet.

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

I think michaelpatrick is one of the great unsung writers of StripCreator. His series Cretaceous Vaudville is one of the most consistently funny I've ever read.

He posted this series and disappeared.

If memory serves he may have been regular (deucepm?) passing himself off as a newbie under a pseudonym. Does anyone rememeber?

Here's a sampling of his brilliance...enjoy!

Cretaceous Vaudville by michaelpatrick 8-18-02

So, Hal...do yah think we got what it takes to join the troupe? You wanna know what it takes? Look over there. Oh Jesus...That sick fucking T-Rex is tea-bagging my mother! I can do that!!! I'm gonna see if Walmart is hiring!

Cretaceous Vaudeville by michaelpatrick 8-18-02

...so they fired you just like that? Yeah...apparently it's ok to perform perverse sexual acts on stage, but not in the ladies room! ...or in the nursery. I think you need to see a doctor! I know...I got this green shit oozing out of my mule!

Cretaceous Vaudeville by michaelpatrick 8-19-02

In the previous episode I made a derogatory statement toward a religous group. Please understand that this is done only for sake of satire and not with malicious intent. As a performer I am often called upon to make statements that I do not wholeheartedly agree with. But, being a professional I perform my lines to the best of my abilities. With that in mind, "Lutherans are a bunch of pedophilic cock-suckers that can eat my shit."...Thank you.

Cretaceous Vaudeville by michaelpatrick 8-20-02

Guess what, Lenny! You're secretly a hermaphroditic boy-lover who wants to skin me alive and wear my leathery hide? Uhmm...Actually I was gonna tell you that I met a really cute girl today. She's sweet and quiet, but she doesn't know I exist. I've considered sending her a 'secret admirer' letter just to see if she's interested...what do YOU think? You are the most twisted fucking douche-bag I've ever met...I don't even know you...you demented fuck.

Cretaceous Vaudeville by michaelpatrick 8-24-02

Hey Carl! What's up! Hi Lenny. I'm just waiting across the street from the Starbucks where that cute girl works. I'm just hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Do you want me to help you drag her stiff corpse home and show you how to make a cage out of her bones so that you can always be inside her? Lenny! My feelings for her are...special... Ok, funboy...We'll make a real SPECIAL fucking cage!

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Cretaceous Vaudeville by michaelpatrick 8-25-02

Hey Lenny! My Man! Yo Carl. Have you seen Drew? He said he had a date. I think she's a musician who works at Starbucks with the girl I like. Carl...A real friend would tell you not to turn around right, now, but the irony of this situation is too good for a sick bastard like me to pass up! oh....Jesus Fucking Christ. So now you know what a RUSTY TROMBONE is.

Cretaceous Vaudeville by michaelpatrick 8-25-02

Hey, sorry about soiling your wet dream, pal. I didn't know. Ummm that's ok. I guess I'll have to find someone a little bit more vestal to pine for. Whatever...if it makes you feel any better, I didn't go all the way with her. What the fuck are you talking about? I saw her licking your asshole! Yeah, but she didn't swallow...fucking cocktease.

Cretaceous Vaudeville #387 by michaelpatrick 9-15-02

Hal, I'm about to go onstage and I'm all out of material...any advice? Just talk about your own life...it works for Margaret Cho. So, the little bitch kept kicking and screaming... and her neck was bleeding and she was biting me...and I couldn't find my knife!! And I was thinking...'sure, this is great sex, but is this relationship worth the hassle?'

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

quote:

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I think michaelpatrick is one of the great unsung writers of StripCreator. His series Cretaceous Vaudville is one of the most consistently funny I've ever read.

He posted this series and disappeared.

If memory serves he may have been regular (deucepm?) passing himself off as a newbie under a pseudonym. Does anyone rememeber?

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Segovia Log Book by RedfeatheR 10-05-05

Who are you again? Oh, I'm a stranger. I was wondering if you could let me talk to your daughter fo a while Jenny you forogt to put away your toys.... Jenny? DAMMIT GIRL! I'm TALKING to you!!!

Where's the Beef? by smamurai 10-12-05

I wanna see your face when you cum. Here you go honey, Is this your passport? The pics a few years old and pre-op but it's still a good likeness. Hey, who let in the draught?

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Some people can't take a joke

That's what you get for loaf-and-fishing me, asshole.

by kaufman, 10-12-05

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Lovin the fish hand guy.

Moby Lick by smamurai 10-12-05

What do you mean the fish you caught "was this big" I mean. It was. THIS FUCKING BIG MAN! What, you mean ....... THE FISH YOUR STILL HOLDING IN YOUR HAND, MAN? MOTHERFUCKER! Err, I mean ...... what fish? 4 Hours later..... Look, why don't you just say it's a Tootsie fish and you been licking on it. Then we can all go home. It is a Tootsie fish and I have been licking on it. So next time, THINK, before you call someone a bull-shitter. ASSHOLE!