Ya mama so big, she use a yellow school bus for a harmonica.

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Eh, I've always been better at insulting myself than others, but I gotta get my practice somehow.

Next time, I'll get you... neeeext tiiiiime!!!

Ya mama so fat, they bought her a Malcom X jacket, and a helicoptor landed on her ass.

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I'm not a large woman, but I will put an old Ohio Asswhooping on all of you unpleasant sayers.

And no popsicles for you, gabe, till you control your potty mouth friends.

---
He was always slow in school.

Does killing them count as control?

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Depends on how you kill them.

Yo momma so fat, NASA sent up a rocket to take photos of her back.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Guy in rocket: "Damn, I thought Wooly Mammoths were extinct!"

---
This is not my empire.

Yo momma so fat, every time she takes a step on the pavement, her momma's back breaks.

Sorry, that was shit. I promise not to make up any more.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Yo momma so fat if you light a match when she farts, it's like a nuclear fire!

-----nope that was rubbish- let's try again!-----

Yo momma so fat, she makes Deisel look like a turnip!

-----that's better-----

---
"You don't scare me with your silly knees bent running about advancing behavior."-Monty Python

yo momma so fat

and deisel is a little bitch

---
Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

OK Maybe I'm not fitting in then...just when I was starting to cool off as well...

------------------------
Irony, thy name is Skagg
------------------------

---
"You don't scare me with your silly knees bent running about advancing behavior."-Monty Python

Yo mama's so ugly, her nickname is "DAMN!"

Yo mama's so fat, she has "Goodyear" on all her clothes.

Yo mama's so dumb, she doesn't know how many cans are in a sixpack.

Yo mama's so nasty, she got mold growing in her underwear.

I really am from the ghetto. It's fun. Really.

---
"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Ya mama so fat, you know that sign at McDonald's that say: "Over 100 Billion Served"? That's just ya mama.

And the bitch stupid, too! It take her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!

Ya mama so ugly, she drove past my house, and the lawn died!

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

From the oldies but goodies list:

Yo mama so ugly, she has to tie a porkchop round her neck to get the dog to play with her.

Yo mama so stupid she went to a movie and saw "Under 17 not allowed" so the bitch went home and got 16 of her friends.

Yo mama so fat, if she sat on a quarter, a buger'd come flying out of George Washington's nose.

Yo mama so stupid, she wondering why Elvis don't tour no more.

I made that last one up just now. Can you tell? Yah, I thought so.

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Yo mamma so stupid, she once called you a son of a bitch.
Word.

---
Lots of people think anonymity brings them at a higher level of power... I just think it makes them larger dickheads than they really are in person. :-D

Yo Mama so stupid she went to the bakery for a yeast infection.

Yo momma's so old, her Social Security number is 6!

Yo momma's so old, she got Jesus' beeper number!

Yo momma's so old, she fart's dust.

---
I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Ya mama's got so many crabs, I mistook her for a seafood buffet.

Yo mama so skank that when she walks down the beach, flocks of seaguls follow her.

Why does Gabe fuck donkeys? He wants a woman that reminds him of his mother.

[Click to view comic: 'Search for the Chupacabra ("Goat Sucker" in English)']

Yo momma so cheap, she got a sign sayin "Take a number n wait" on her bedroom door.

Yo momma so ugly, she didn't get hit with the ugly stick - she went in the ugly forest and a fuckin ugly tree fell on her head.

Yo momma so cheap, she heard on TV six hundred people went down on the Titanic, and she said, "I beat that!"

Yo momma so fat, she beeps when she walks backwards.

Yo momma so fat, she got WIDE tattooed on one ass cheek, and LOAD tattooed on the other.

Yo momma so ugly, the doctor paid her to stand outside and make people sick.

Yo momma so dumb, she got lost in a phone booth.

...okay, that'll do for now.

True story that I tried to turn into a "Yo momma" but couldn't translate effectively: I had a friend a few years back who was a big boy. I would guess that, at the time, he weighed between two and three times my own weight, and even when I was skinny I was heavy. Anyway, we went out drinking one night in my home town, and went walking down the main street of town. We had just crossed the road, I was in front, and I happened to glance back and see that this friend of mine had tripped... and was falling right at me. I shit you not - I RAN. If he had fallen on me, he could have done some serious damage! I told him about it years later, and he thought it was pretty funny... :)

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

A variation: Yo momma fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Yo mamas so slow she was running and it looked like she was walking.

Now thats an insult that stings.