CC #246: I can't believe no one got this yet!!! by NooniePuuBunny 5-28-04

La de de dah... Honey! What is taking you so long? I'm dying from the anticipation! Just a minute more, Dirk darling!! I'm almost done getting into that brand new outfit for you. You'll just DIE when you see it! TA DA! So what do you think? Isn't this kimono just too much?! Oh wow! That IS very sexy. Bob baby, you really put the "gay" in "geisha"!!

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

CC 246: Done, Done, On to the next, Done Done, on to the ... by Zegota 5-29-04

I'll take it. Great! All you have to do now is sign this contract that transfers all your belongings to us if you were to die and then take the Blue pill, it'll make all you pain and worries disappear. Done, gimme the pill. Here ya go. ACK! I love putting the con in contract.

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And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

CC 246: Putting the "Strip" in the Gaza Strip by jes_lawson 5-29-04

Hello Izzat, what's new? My holy struggle against the infidel invaders will climax tomorrow, when I will martyr myself! Your reward in Paradise will be great...but...what are you putting on? My disguise. I'm taking a different approach to the concept of jihad... Ha-ha! By the prophet's beard, Izzat, you know how to put the "fun" in "fundamentalist!" I now pray that Allah will send me many squirt guns and flour bombs, that I may do his Will!

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

CC 246: Someone had to... by Bazilla 5-29-04

I've got bellyache, is there anything I can take? You put the lime in the coconut, you drink it all up.

Now, it may not follow your crazy rules, but, it just might.

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

I F**ked My Math Teacher by possums 5-29-04

Well, Jonas, I'm ready. Put your x in my y. e=mc2!!!! Ooh! Yes! Coagulate me! HARDER!!! This seems a bit like "The Graduate..." Well, how was that? You put the "bra" in "algebra!"

Ugh... that put the "crap" in "steaming pile of crap."

quote:

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I F**ked My Math Teacher by possums 5-29-04

Well, Jonas, I'm ready. Put your x in my y. e=mc2!!!! Ooh! Yes! Coagulate me! HARDER!!! This seems a bit like "The Graduate..." Well, how was that? You put the "bra" in "algebra!"

Ugh... that put the "crap" in "steaming pile of crap."

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CC 246: VAYA CON CARNE by biped 5-30-04

"OH, SI! OH, SI! SI, SI, SI-EEE-EEEEE!!!" AY!!! CONSUELA!!! SHE IS MY FAVORITE PORN STAR!!! "SU PENE ES MUY BUENO, SENOR!!!" Unngghh... tengo un hueso mas grande... "CINCO HOMBRES!!! CINCO PENES!!! AY-YI-YI!!!" *SLURP!!!* DIOS MIO! She really puts the "lick" in "peliculas pornograficas"!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

There are good reasons for this not to be entered, but well, what the hell:

CC 246: Putting the "HA"in KHAAAAN by jes_lawson 5-30-04

Captain's Log. Stardate: 25th....*nng!*... November...3rd...bathroom break! I...should not have...ordered the...burritos at...Taco Bell...*gnn*...on...Starbase Mesa Grande Alpha... Bones...Is that...you? Can you...get me some...*hnng*...*augh* Ex-Lax? *sniff*...Dammit, Jim! You sure put the "Shat" in Shatner!

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Next Issue: D.O.A. --- OF DEATH! by ArtemisStrong 5-30-04

My skin is blistering off my malnourished frame in chunks of gooey plhegm-like globules. Is this a bad sign? Do these said globules emit a foul smell or noxious odor of some kind? Geh... dunno... I guess they sorta smell like Corona. Dude, you like totally put the "lime" in "limaceous hunk of retrograded flesh"! So... >cough<... Yah, anyways, you're slowly dying. I'd place your time of demise anywhere within the next 72 hours.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

Good to see Artemis around.

CC 246: Summer Of 69 by umfumdisi 5-30-04

So there I was...napalm one one side because some greenhorn Corporal gave out the wrong damn coordinates... and mines on the other side. Radio Joe wasn't watching his step--soon, we'd be calling him Stumpy. I got a psych discharge after my next tour. For me, that was Vietnam. Now you wanna get a room or what? Sure, Jack, and I just have to say, you really put the 'Nam in NAMBLA.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

It's What's For Dinner by AccentuateNegative 5-30-04

I'm starving. When are we going to eat? I've got something for you to eat in my pants. I want a meal not a snack! Hey! I put the hung in hungry. I thought I was starving but he's reached the point of halleucination.

There were many fine entries and the final judging came down to a few tough choices.

Our second runner-up is:
Umfumdisi, for Summer of 69. The title along with the NAMBLA reference made me titter nervously.

Our first runner-up, who will be asked to assume the duties of winner in the event of the winner finding himself in the middle of a national media scandal, is
Jes_Lawson for Putting the Strip in Gaza Strip. I actually liked the clown's comments even more than the punchline, and it would have won, if the next one hadn't made me laugh out loud every time i read it...

And the winner is...

Nazi Weddings by possums 5-26-04

What's going on here? My wife, Geraldine Kikekiller, and I, Johnson Niggerslayer, are getting married! May I say a word to the bride? Sure. You put the aryan in marryin'!

Thanks for playing. And for the record, the supersecret punchline was "You put the shat in Shatner," but I told jes what it was a couple hours before judging, so I couldn't award it to him for that reason.

Take it away, Possums.

i'd never thought of using that background as a spaceship toilet. now i'm happy.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

Congrats possums, worthy winner, although I still think if the clown had put the Bag in Bagdhad in a sequel strip, I'd have clinched it.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

WOOO! I've been telling that joke all week. This is the only time it hasn't got a groan. Thanks a bunch, choad!

I'll have the new contest up as soon as possible!

quote:

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Our second runner-up is:
Umfumdisi, for Summer of 69. The title along with the NAMBLA reference made me titter nervously.

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