Sweet, Zip. That makes me want to see it that much more. I love those fuckers. I've even got a funny story involving David Cross. Like ta hear it? Here it go.
My best friend and writing partner started going to a David Cross regular event down in the city called "Tinkle". David Cross, Jon Benjamin, and Todd something were running the show, and they had Sarah Silverman as a regular in it. It was just a showcase of comics at this little bar.
My partner, Lew, decided that we should get our material to David Cross. Based on everything we've ever seen by him, he would get our humor and maybe help us get something done.
Lew also decided that we should get our stuff to him in an especially clever way. Like, serving him our material as if they were court papers. Genius idea, right? Well, I thought it was worth a shot. So we see Dave's show again, and we're hanging out in the bar afterwards, as so is he, Jon Benjamin, Todd whatever (weird little balding dude, funny as hell though). So Lew takes our material, which is in an unmarked manila envelope, and walks up to him. He says "Mr. Cross?". David Cross looks up and says, "Yes?", and Lew thrusts the envelope into his chest, and practically yells, "You've been served!", and he walks out of the bar. I'm standing there in shock like, "Dear God, what have we wrought?". I hear David Cross say, "Sweet!", like, trying to totally play it off, make the best of it. It was more like "Great! This is just what I need!". I walked out right then.
Afterwards, we are sitting in Lew's car, and I say, "Hey, what have we done?", and Lew says, "I don't know. Should I apologize?". I say, "Yeah, maybe." So we get out of the car and go back into the bar. Lew goes up to David Cross, who had been talking to women before he served him and was now talking to several good-looking girls as we walked in the second time, looks at Lew. Lew says, "Mr. Cross, I just wanted to apologize, we...." and the rest of what he said got lost in my memory as David Cross looks at Lew and says, dry as hell, "Well, it got me to look at them right away." He wasn't holding the material. Next came an awkward silence that lasted for a good ten seconds until David Cross went back to talking to the girls. We walked away, disgraced.
After the show, all non-comics had access to the small stage areas and I went looking for the material to see if maybe he put it down somewhere. Then, not finding it, I did a quick look at the top of all the garbage cans to see if he tossed it. No sign there, either.
What I have just recently found out is that David Cross is actually a really generous guy if you give him the chance to be. We never gave him a real chance. Lew swore up and down that he would appreciate the joke. We've never heard from the guy.
---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.
