this is easy, just tell the girl that you will give her the kind of pleasure thought only possible with a turkey baster

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We built this siggy.... on rock and rooooooll

Okay, I'm in love with you again. Don't forget the canole.

I got pretty drunk on a pubcrawl I went on a few weeks ago... told my friend Travis that I would date him if he were taller (as he's a good 5 inches shorter than I am). Apparently that's a mean thing to say to short people?

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

God, you're clueless.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I was really, really drunk. And besides, he knew that I was so he didn't take it personally. He just liked to rub it in my face after the fact because I don't remember saying it.

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

I got a little ripped over the weekend and sold my girlfriend's car to a chop shop in Jersey. Now she won't put out. WTF?

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

If you're 5 inches taller than him think of what you could rub in his face...

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Your vagina!

The pub crawl I went on previous to this past one (Where I made an ass out of myself), a girl a few inches taller than I was hanging out with said short friend of mine... he had the best night of his life as she would just grab his head and shove her boobs in his face.

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

Damn, sometimes I wish I were short.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

As a psychologist, I'd say do the same thing about a hundred times and see if she reacts the same way at a frequency greater than chance could account for.

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What others say about boorite!

Get R2. He fixes everything.

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possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

You cant go wrong with giving her chocolates, unless of course she's lactose intolerant, in which case go for flowers, unless she's got allergies. I think you may be worrying over nothing, in a weeks time it will hardly be an issue, so you spewed in on her antique fireplace or whatever, remember the immortal advice of Messrs' Wayne and Garth
"If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts,it was never meant to be."